Maintaining work/life balance

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Posted 11/14/2012 by Rebelyelle in NSBR Board
 

Rebelyelle
PeaFixture

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April 2008
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Posted: 11/14/2012 6:32:36 PM
So, I am really struggling with this right now. Any tips from other working moms out there? I have set some rules for myself that my staff is aware of and respects - for example, I don't answer my phone, text or check email from the time I leave work until my son goes to bed. And then after that, I'll only respond to things that really necessitate immediate attention. But even with that "rule", I can't seem to turn my brain off when it comes to work-related things. Last night I woke up at 4 am and couldn't get back to sleep because I was working out the timeline in my brain for a big event next week. It seems like this is the biggest problem - not being able to turn "off" work, and turn my attention over fully to life/family time. Any advice would be appreciated!



Kimmie3233
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January 2002
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Posted: 11/14/2012 9:05:45 PM
Man if anyone has tips for this I would love to know too. For me right now it isn't work but other "must do's" or things I am responsible for (PTA events). I hate it!


Kimmie
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lruk
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Posted: 11/15/2012 7:30:37 AM
I am in the same situation. I have been off work ill since mid September and I still wake in the early hours stressing about my job

I am open to suggestions as to how to overcome this as I know it will only get worse once I am back at work, which I hope will be soon.

AthenainCA
Right Pea on the Left Coast

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Posted: 11/15/2012 10:01:25 AM
It's not an issue for me as I'm a stay at home mom, but for my husband who has an executive job with a tech company, I can speak for how he handles it: There is not real shut off. It all blends. The balance comes from how you blend it.

I think it's a hard task. It's certainly taken some years for us to figure it out. He thrives at his job so it's not a burden for him to put in the hours when he's not at work - it's just that he doesn't want it to take away from family. So he just fits it in around the family. It's not always perfect, but it is really good.

I think the idea that work never seeps into home life time is THE big myth.



SmartyPants71
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October 2002
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Posted: 11/15/2012 10:41:00 AM
I think it also helps to have a company culture that fosters a good work/life balance. At my company, we are not expected to respond outside of work hours unless it's an emergency, of course. I work for a large global company, so I have counterparts in other time zones who can handle things during my off hours. However, I realize that may not be a possibility in smaller companies.

anmolhai
AncestralPea

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Posted: 11/15/2012 10:54:22 AM
I have been strugling with this too. I am trying different things to see if I can de-stres. I get up early morning what that list in my mind of things that needs to be done.

Recently I went for a yoga class and with my focus so much on poses I forgot all about work. That really helped.

But how to blend the work & home I have no idea.


Live life !

busypea
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Posted: 11/15/2012 10:54:39 AM

I think the idea that work never seeps into home life time is THE big myth.

This, over and over again.

I can't turn off work when I'm home, nor can I turn off home when I'm at work. I can choose to not actively focus on them, but I can't stop ideas from popping up.

What helps me is to immediately jot those ideas down (I use my iPhone for this). If I don't, those thoughts keep nagging me in the back of my head and continue to diminish my attention on the subject at hand. If I record those thoughts, it clears my mind to focus on what I'm actively involved with at the time.

And while it may be seem ideal to take a couple minutes away from my son in the evening to jot down some notes, to me, it's far better than being distracted all evening while playing with him because those thoughts are still floating around.

jennyap
AncestralPea

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Posted: 11/15/2012 10:58:54 AM

I think the idea that work never seeps into home life time is THE big myth.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

This, over and over again.

I can't turn off work when I'm home, nor can I turn off home when I'm at work. I can choose to not actively focus on them, but I can't stop ideas from popping up.

What helps me is to immediately jot those ideas down (I use my iPhone for this). If I don't, those thoughts keep nagging me in the back of my head and continue to diminish my attention on the subject at hand. If I record those thoughts, it clears my mind to focus on what I'm actively involved with at the time.




Yes, 100% this. I do the same thing, although it still doesn't always work.


Jenny

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peapermint
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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January 2001
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Posted: 11/15/2012 12:39:49 PM
I work about 50 hours a week but from my home office which is in the living room so this is a constant struggle.

Until DS (age 8) got into school, DH and I worked opposite shifts and had no child care so we hardly ever saw each other and it made our marriage totally suck.

Now I work while DS is in school and again at night and both weekend days and even when I'm not working the computer is right there like I "should" be working (since I don't have set hours because I like the flexibility).

Anyway, I agree, you can't have it all. If you can physically detach from work (leave at set time, not let people call you, etc.) that would be the first step and then just mentally make yourself stick to it.
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