Who is responsible and how far would you take it?

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Posted 11/15/2012 by happytobemom in NSBR Board
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happytobemom
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Posted: 11/15/2012 1:38:23 PM
I'm the op.....for the record I voted for Romney.

Anyway....I would have never accepted money from the family--it was my fault in loaning my car. But a "I'm so sorry" would have gone a long way in soothing my annoyance. For the record, my 18 yo son paid for the clean up bill--it was not a job for a novice. He will be working lots of hours at chick fil a to replenish his bank acct.

~SuburbanMom~
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Posted: 11/15/2012 1:41:36 PM
I would never have spent $500 detailing my car and replacing mats. I once had a migraine and was driving on the bay bridge (no shoulder and very dangerous) and lets just say I barfed all over my parents mini van. My dad and I cleaned it out (this was when I was in college) and it turned out totally fine. I know mold etc can be really bad but I still think you way over paid.



KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/15/2012 1:43:03 PM

Anyway....I would have never accepted money from the family--it was my fault in loaning my car. But a "I'm so sorry" would have gone a long way in soothing my annoyance. For the record, my 18 yo son paid for the clean up bill--it was not a job for a novice. He will be working lots of hours at chick fil a to replenish his bank acct.


In your OP, you said that the child offered to pay 1/2 but then couldn't when he found out how much...AND that his mother apologized. Now, I'm not one to beat a person over the head with the obvious, but it doesn't sound like an 'I'm sorry' really went as far as it should have.





~Kristen~

shannoninkc
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Posted: 11/15/2012 1:49:21 PM

At about the same time that a liberal majority thought it should be the norm that everyone in this country should be responsible for every little thing that goes wrong or every little expense that someone else has - hmmm everyone's responsibility EXCEPT that person(s).


Kiss my liberal ass.


Really Red
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Posted: 11/15/2012 1:52:28 PM

I'm the op.....for the record I voted for Romney.
That is just a perfect response!

OP, I am really sorry about what happened. FWIW, I would hope my child would offer to pay, but didn't anyone smell anything in your car? Also, personally I could not afford $500 to get rid of a smell. I'd try a lot of other things first. Not saying they'd help, but I'd make that effort.

I had to pay for a child's cell phone they left on the floor in my house. My dog "retrieved" it and broke a key. They told me it would be $75 to fix and they got a new one and charged me $265.00. I paid it, but I have never forgotten it. I tell kids now that cell phones stay safe out of the way.

Sometimes it just all doesn't seem fair. Regardless of political affiliation


Andrea

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myboysnme
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Posted: 11/15/2012 2:03:51 PM
My son left a bottle of moo milk in the car one time. I didn't realize it and when I finally smelled it and located it you can imagine what it was like. The thing is, it wasn't my fault but it is my car. I need to keep up with what is in it and look around to make sure nothing is left to die in there.

But I don't. So I just had to clean it and put dryer sheets in and park with the windows down in my driveway for awhile. I can't even imagine asking one of my son's friends to pay $500, and I hope no one would ask me.


My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
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happytobemom
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Posted: 11/15/2012 2:37:37 PM
It's me...the op. Thanks for the civil comments...I love getting other perspectives.

Like I said earlier...I would have never taken money....but I would have loved an apology. An apology from the boy to ME......not from his mother and not to my son--to Me.

A few rides from practice (it would have been an extra 3 miles ) would have been nice too.


It has been a valuable/expensive lesson for my son.

batya
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Posted: 11/15/2012 2:43:09 PM
It was an accident. I can't imagine ever approaching the kid or the parents. How could it have been left so long you didn't notice the mess or the smell? It's on you and DS. Ditto Kiki.

As for the librulz being to blame. Yeah. It was us. All the way back in the garden of eden we planted the seed for our evil takeover where entitlement would run capitalism, apple pie and all things American into the ground. Eve was a Liberal, ya know. She corrupted Adam who was a stand up conservative.


OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.




KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/15/2012 2:46:48 PM

It's me...the op. Thanks for the civil comments...I love getting other perspectives.

Like I said earlier...I would have never taken money....but I would have loved an apology. An apology from the boy to ME......not from his mother and not to my son--to Me.

A few rides from practice (it would have been an extra 3 miles ) would have been nice too.


It has been a valuable/expensive lesson for my son.


Okay. I'm not trying to be a dog with a bone (well, maybe just a little)...but with all due respect..

but here's the thing...the boy, by offering your son 1/2 of the cost when the problem was first brought to him, *was* offering an apology. He just didn't understand the price of it at the time. But he didn't shrug and say 'Who give's a crap?' He acknowledged it and *wanted* to pay.

And when you *still* persisted someone pay, even after knowing the kid didn't have that kind of money (and how many kids do), the mother offered you an apology and that *still* wasn't good enough.

As for the rides from practice, I think you burned that bridge when you changed the dynamic of the relationship by asking for payment for something that was clearly an innocent accident.

Honestly, I'd stay far away because it's only a matter of time before something else 'accidental' happens and I wouldn't want that worry hanging over my head.


~Kristen~

luckywife
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Posted: 11/15/2012 2:51:27 PM
OP - I really gotta ask, these are the same types of responses you got a few weeks ago when you posted this...what did you hope to happen this time? Why post again?


Mrs. Steven Rudy


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Posted: 11/15/2012 3:01:10 PM

I would probably just suck it up.

But, your sons "best friend" sounds like an ass. Really, he can't be bothered to give your son a ride knowing that you all don't have a car because of his stupid mistake?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


What she said. "Friend" is definitely an ass.
Agreed. It would be a far easier situation to deal with if he were not such a jerk.



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caroscraps
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Posted: 11/15/2012 3:23:01 PM

In your OP, you said that the child offered to pay 1/2 but then couldn't when he found out how much...AND that his mother apologized. Now, I'm not one to beat a person over the head with the obvious, but it doesn't sound like an 'I'm sorry' really went as far as it should have.


Is there no such thing as an accident anymore without some type of blame and what do I do to the poor person who made the accident? How old was this kid? A teen? Honestly, I am baffled sometimes at things I read here. It was an accident. Sounds like the kid tried to do the right thing unless there is more to the story.


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KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/15/2012 3:26:55 PM

In your OP, you said that the child offered to pay 1/2 but then couldn't when he found out how much...AND that his mother apologized. Now, I'm not one to beat a person over the head with the obvious, but it doesn't sound like an 'I'm sorry' really went as far as it should have.



Is there no such thing as an accident anymore without some type of blame and what do I do to the poor person who made the accident? How old was this kid? A teen? Honestly, I am baffled sometimes at things I read here. It was an accident. Sounds like the kid tried to do the right thing unless there is more to the story.


Ummm...that's exactly what I've been saying all day...


~Kristen~

myboysnme
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Posted: 11/15/2012 3:29:55 PM

For the record, my 18 yo son paid for the clean up bill--it was not a job for a novice. He will be working lots of hours at chick fil a to replenish his bank acct.


Wow. Did your son get to try to clean it first? Did he have any say in what he would agree to pay? I'm glad you weren't my mom. Yowzaa.


My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
When someone elects you Queen of Two Peas, then you can make the rules. - Sue_Pea 12/22/13
"Myboysnme,...I bow down to you, oh queen of the scrapping goodness" - Irish Eyes 3/9/14
"Myboysnme -- ... Whoa. I bow to thee." - Jill S 4/26/14









ilovecookies
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Posted: 11/15/2012 3:35:21 PM
You're responsible. I wouldn't take it any further than that.






caroscraps
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Posted: 11/15/2012 4:43:20 PM
Kristen, I hope you know I was agreeing with you when I quoted you?


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Posted: 11/15/2012 4:53:14 PM
It was an accident. You're responsible

I don't understand all these threads lately with accidents happening and OPs wanting someone else to pay

It was an accident. It cost you. It sucks. Oh well


Bethie
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KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/15/2012 4:58:29 PM
Carol, I'm sorry. That's the second time today I've misunderstood a quote. I must be tired. Sorry.


~Kristen~

dynalady
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Posted: 11/15/2012 5:00:13 PM
Why on earth would you make your son pay the clean up bill? It was an accident, and not even one he had anything to do with. I'm all for teaching responsibility, but he wasn't responsible.







"I contend we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." Stephen Roberts



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