When your child has a friend over after school ....do they do homework first?

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Posted 11/15/2012 by Misspeasy in NSBR Board


PeaNut 331,732
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Posted: 11/15/2012 4:58:56 PM
A friend of mine was telling me that whenever her DS invites this one particular boy over after school, the boys mother expects her son to complete his homework at the friends house before they play. And, in addition to homework, he has to do Kumon stuff too.

For the record, the kids are in different classes so they do not have the same homework but both are in 4th grade.

I have always assumed a play date was just that and you did your homework at home once the play date was over. And, if necessary, the play date my be shorter, time-wise, depending on how much homework needed to be completed that night. Lots of homework = shorter play date or no homework = longer play date.

Is there another word for synonym?

PeaNut 256,623
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Posted: 11/15/2012 5:13:10 PM
Work before play. That's the way we do it.

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PeaNut 51,520
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Posted: 11/15/2012 5:13:15 PM
I'm sorry, but that is just weird. Don't let your kid go on playdates other that on Fridays if he can't manage to do his homework when he gets home.

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PeaNut 151,660
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Posted: 11/15/2012 5:15:44 PM
I make mine do all of her homework before she's even allowed to ask someone over for a playdate. Or before she goes to someone else's house too. Homework is done within the first hour that she's home... along with a snack and what not. But if homework isn't done then she's not allowed to invite anyone over and she's not allowed to go anywhere. I would NEVER expect her to do her homework at someone else's house.

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PeaNut 343,259
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Posted: 11/15/2012 5:23:50 PM
In general the answer is yes. Our school only has one class per grade so the homework would be the same. It is just easier to get it done.

I would not expect another parent to do extra work with my child prior to playing commencing. That I would skip and let the child (or my child) do later.

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PeaNut 145,006
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Posted: 11/15/2012 8:38:47 PM
I'm weird.

All the kids on our street come here after school to do their homework and hang out. The youngest is in 3rd and the oldest in 7th.

I think it's quieter here, and they are more likely to get help if they ask for it...

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PeaNut 9,321
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Posted: 11/15/2012 8:41:01 PM
That's not something we'd do, but funny thing:

My DS (age 8) was invited to his friend's birthday party this week and when he got home some of his homework was done. I guess it was one of the party activities But it was a weekday and they're close friends and the party was 5 hours so...

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PeaNut 83,119
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Posted: 11/15/2012 8:44:04 PM
Both kids do homework. If one finishes first, they get to play. Incentive for the other to finish post haste.

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PeaNut 210,654
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Posted: 11/15/2012 8:57:26 PM
Yes, all homework is done before play.


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PeaNut 14,521
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Posted: 11/15/2012 9:00:24 PM
Sometimes dd will invite friends over that need extra help with their schoolwork, in those cases, yes they do homework first because that was the purpose of the "date". But, other times it's just a play date and then, no they don't do homework first. But, the play date ends in time for the kids to go home and do their homework.



PeaNut 41,763
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Posted: 11/15/2012 9:01:42 PM
When my kids were little we never did homework after school. Kids have been sitting still and learning all day. They don't need more of it right away. Snack time, play time, kids often came straight from the bus to our house to play. Everyone goes home at dinner time. Homework starts the minute dinner ends.



PeaNut 331,732
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Posted: 11/15/2012 9:19:29 PM
Love the homework at the birthday party! I would love DS to be invited to a party like that! Of course, a 5 hour party on a school day is plenty of time for party activities/play and a little homework!


PeaNut 169,727
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Posted: 11/15/2012 10:19:03 PM
Middle schoolers, if they are going to get together on a school night yes, they do their homework first or they can't get together. Extra stuff, no. Usually there is no getting together on a school night but sometimes due to a parent's work, or sports it just works better and they know the rules. They all go to a private school, all have the same teachers and the same work. Most kids want my ds to come do homework with them since he is a high honors student!

Elementary, well, I would sure try but it it is only for an hour they can play then come home and do their work.

High school, work then go out. Working together doesn't seem to compute with my dd.

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PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
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Posted: 11/15/2012 10:25:27 PM
So the mother makes the kid take his homework to the friend's house and do it there?

No I would not do that.

Of course, I don't have the homework right after school rule. I like to decompress after getting home from work and I assume my children would like to do the same. Plus, I like them to play outside before it gets dark this time of year. They do it after dinner or in the hour or so before bed.

DS (6th grade) made honor roll, so it isn't hurting him to do it later.

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