Do you believe in soul mates?

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Posted 11/19/2012 by icedpea in NSBR Board
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icedpea
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Posted: 11/19/2012 8:32:37 PM
Do you believe in one love for each person or soulmates? A couple I am very close to recently split up. He claims she is his soulmate and obviously she doesn't agree. She left him. What do you believe?

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Posted: 11/19/2012 8:56:57 PM
<------ Married 26 years. I think the concept of "soul mates" or hell, even "romantic love" is not what sustains a couple.

So, no, I don't believe that at all.


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Vi
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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:00:56 PM
Nope -- I don't believe in soul mates either. Obviously, I think some people are easier to live with than others -- but I think it's commitment that keeps you together. Also relationships go in cycles -- sometimes you feel closer than at other times. (By the way, I've been married for 43 years this last May.)

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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:02:58 PM
Since I'm 53 and haven't found one yet, I'm going to say "no".


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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:03:48 PM

Nope -- I don't believe in soul mates either. Obviously, I think some people are easier to live with than others -- but I think it's commitment that keeps you together. Also relationships go in cycles -- sometimes you feel closer than at other times.

Exactly this.

thecurleyque
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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:05:58 PM
I totally believe in soul mates, but I don't think it's always a romantic love type of thing. I think a soul mate is jut someone you are naturally drawn to and instantly hit it off with, someone you can talk to everyday, or can go months without talking and pick right back up where you dropped off. A soul mate could be a significant other, but it could also be a completely platonic friendship.

ETA - I do think it takes more than just being soul mates to make a relationship work.

voltagain
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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:07:03 PM
He claims she is his soulmate and obviously she doesn't agree. She left him. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

^------- because of scenarios like this I do not believe in a [singluar] soulmate. What happens if two who are soulmates never met? Yet if they marry someone not their soulmate they have in effect stolen someone else's soulmate and there is a huge ripple effect though out history that can never be repaired.

I believe there are personality types we can adapt to living with more easily and shared life experience should forge soul mate bonds in a couple.. but it is a process of becoming not the starting point.


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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:09:29 PM
No


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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:22:24 PM
I do believe in soulmates to a certain extent. When you have high levels of compatiblity on these 5 levels:

-physical attraction
-financially
-intelligence
-sexual attraction
-religion

Then you get the feelings that feel like a "soulmate" feeling.
I believe that there is probably more than one person out there that matches you on all those levels.

I think if you're missing even just one of those things, you can still have a good relationship, but you just won't be as deeply attracted to/bonded with that person.

I do believe that "the one" will have that something "extra". Hubs and I think about the same things at the same moment - I'll be thinking about, say, cheese as we're driving down the road, and he'll suddenly start talking about picking up some cheese at the grocery store. Happens to us constantly.


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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:25:29 PM
My mom always told me, "There's more than one 'right person' for everyone." It was a variation on the "many fish in the sea" saying, but not at all glib.

I believe there might be other people out there with whom I could have made a nice life, but do I think I hit a home run by marrying my DH? Oh, yeah.

I believe that soul mates can meet and *not* spend their lives together. They may have "work" that they need to do together in this earthly life, which may or may not include marriage.

shawsee
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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:28:22 PM
Nope



BrinaG
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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:30:00 PM
I don't. My dh is my best friend. He was my best friend for years before we got together as a couple. We relate on so many levels and after 16 years of marriage and 12 years of friendship before that I have a connection to him that is indescribable. But, do I think if I had never met him I would be miserable today? that there is no other man in the world who I could have been happy with? No, I don't believe that is how it works.

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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:31:30 PM
I don't know....

I believe that you can have real and sustainable love with more than person, but I believe there is 1 person who is "meant" for you.

That person where everything just clicks.

That love you dream of when youre a little girl that you never really expect to truly exist.

I don't know that Id use soulmate to describe it but I think the people that find that are very lucky.




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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:38:30 PM
No. I believe you can have an overwhelming feeling for someone and think that they are perfect and amazing. Just being around them makes it difficult to breathe and you count the seconds until you are together again. Then real life sets in and you realize the sun does not rise and set by your soul mate. They are just people. I think believing in a soul mate may end up disappointing people.

I have been married for 19 years. I married my best friend. That is way more important to me than a soul mate.


Susan



janet r
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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:39:12 PM
Sort of.

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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:45:13 PM
I think that soulmate is one of those words that gets thrown around. I do think that there are people on this earth that are super compatible with you. Beyond love, beyond physical attraction, just souls that are similar to yours. It may be that you marry a soulmate, it may be that you are close friends, it doesn't have to be romantic. And I think that souls evolve and change, so you may not have the same soulmate(s) forever.

I don't think I am explaining this too well, but I do believe that there are soulmates out there for all of us. Maybe more than one.


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Posted: 11/19/2012 10:38:53 PM
Yep I do. I believe I have found mine, as does he.

That, and I just adore the concept/idea of soul mates. Sort of like how Kate beckinsales character in Serendipity was so in love with that idea.



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Posted: 11/19/2012 11:00:09 PM
No. Theres billions of people in the world, what are the odds you'd meet your one & only?




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Posted: 11/19/2012 11:33:42 PM
Nope.
I believe in serial monogamy.

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Posted: 11/20/2012 12:02:50 AM
nope.

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Posted: 11/20/2012 12:04:58 AM
No, I don't believe in soul mates.


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Posted: 11/20/2012 8:36:48 AM
No.


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Posted: 11/20/2012 8:38:09 AM
No.

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Posted: 11/20/2012 8:49:15 AM
No. I think the idea of "perfect soul mate" is damaging and keeps some people from being happy with the relationships they already have.







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Posted: 11/20/2012 9:28:11 AM
I have been married for 34 years and NO I DO NOT believe in soul mates. I have several friends who claimed to have found their soul mates only to end in divorce.

My DH and I have found the dance that works well for us but I wouldn't call him my soul mate. He definitely is my BFF though.



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Posted: 11/20/2012 9:30:25 AM
I think there are a lot of people in the world with whom you share values and a life vision and chemistry. You pick one and make it work.

I've been married 16 years and don't believe in "soul mates" either.

Leone
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Posted: 11/20/2012 9:30:48 AM
I sure do...we just celebrated our 35th year of meeting yesterday...we still adore each other.

eebud
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Posted: 11/20/2012 9:58:24 AM
No.

I do believe that DH and I are perfect for each other but I don't think that necessarily means that there is not someone (or more than one) others that could have been perfect for either of us. I never plan to find out if that is true or not though. LOL I am very happy with DH and we are very compatible.





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Posted: 11/20/2012 11:00:22 AM
I do believe my DH is my soulmate. With all we've been through together, and how it has bonded us, it just seems that you have to have that kind of connection that goes beyond physical and emotional. I personally intertwine a spritual connection as well with us being soulmates, but I think the word "soulmate" itself means different things to different people.






icedpea
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Posted: 11/20/2012 11:14:42 AM
I love all the great marriage stories whether one believes in soulmates or not.

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Posted: 11/20/2012 1:04:44 PM
No. I guess when I think of soulmates, I think that means there's only one person you can find "true happiness" with.

I love my husband, but I bet there's a hundred other guys I could fall in love with, be happy and stay married to.

That sounds bad. Lol.



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Posted: 11/20/2012 1:31:48 PM
nope. that phrase makes me laugh too much to believe in it. i am happily married but even DH would laugh if i referred to him as my "soul mate".



PaperTulip
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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:05:14 PM
My partner is my soulmate. The two of us together are like 1 person, she completes my soul. I've loved other people, felt completed by others. But this is much stronger, we think speak act the same. Have the same sense of humour and fun, and yet are so different at the same time. That being said its still a new relationship, but 10 months in I'm still completely faithful and madly loving her, which is new for me.

Simply_Lovely
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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:17:17 PM

I totally believe in soul mates, but I don't think it's always a romantic love type of thing. I think a soul mate is jut someone you are naturally drawn to and instantly hit it off with, someone you can talk to everyday, or can go months without talking and pick right back up where you dropped off. A soul mate could be a significant other, but it could also be a completely platonic friendship.

ETA - I do think it takes more than just being soul mates to make a relationship work


I agree with all of that ^^^^^^
DH is my best friend and the love of my life, but my female best friend is my soulmate. There is a difference IMO.




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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:23:48 PM
Nope. Not in the slightest. I think it is silly romantic nonsense. Seven billion people on the planet and only one you are destined to be with - and somehow magically so very many of us manage to have been born at the right time and place to meet and fall in love with that one single person? Nah.

I think there are multiple people in the world with whom each of us could have had a happy life. I think I am fortunate every day that I met and fell in love with my husband - but I do not harbor any notion that he is the only one I could ever have been happy with. He is without a doubt the most exceptional man I have had the privilege of knowing in my life. But I still do not believe in soulmates.

crimsoncat05
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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:37:51 PM
I think that soulmate is one of those words that gets thrown around. I do think that there are people on this earth that are super compatible with you. Beyond love, beyond physical attraction, just souls that are similar to yours. It may be that you marry a soulmate, it may be that you are close friends, it doesn't have to be romantic. And I think that souls evolve and change, so you may not have the same soulmate(s) forever.



^^^^^ I sort of believe this, too. Not the concept of *one* for each, but *many* for *many* if you meet the people with whom you click. (one for each of us out of the billions of people who live on the planet just sounds sort of sad and tragic to me... )




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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:38:36 PM
I do believe in soul mates, but I think that there is more than one for each person. I use the term in a romantic sense only.

I think a soul mate is someone who intuitively understands us. Someone who it is 'easy' to be with and in a relationship with. Someone who we can truly be ourselves with, without pretense or fear of judgement or worry that they won't quite 'get' us.

Lots of people can have great relationships and wonderful marriages, but it is often hard work, involves a lot of compromise, and they are very different people at the core.

I think with a 'soul mate', there is just a natural understanding and compatibility that makes the relationship a lot more effortless.


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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:48:29 PM
If there is a such thing I have never seen it in my 30+ years. I love my husband of 10+ years very much but we are far from perfect for each other and we get on each others nerves quiet often. We fulfill each others needs(for me, abandoned as a child, my biggest need is security) and we balance each other out in our own crazy imperfect way.


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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:48:43 PM
I used to....but married life has taught me different.


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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:50:22 PM
Nope.


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Posted: 11/20/2012 3:52:39 PM
Yes, I do. I also believe that everyone's definition of "soul mates" is different.


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Posted: 11/20/2012 4:22:00 PM
I think the idea of "soul mates" has lead to the divorces of many a couple (I know of two where the woman left their husband as they thought they found their "soul mate". I am a realist and do not believe in soul mates at all.

I think that a lot of people go through life looking for their "soul mate" and are very lonely people in the end when they don't end up finding them. I think it sets up unrealistic expectations about what a relationship should be for a lot of people.



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Posted: 11/20/2012 4:45:03 PM
No. I believe love is a choice once you get past the mushy stage.



SDeven
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Posted: 11/20/2012 5:10:31 PM
I did not marry my soulmate. I love my husband of 20 years more than words and we are very good for each other. Very passionate and romantic.

Soulmate...still my very good friend...still very much omprinted on my soul. Marriage would have neen a disaster of epic proportion.






x2mom
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Posted: 11/20/2012 5:28:22 PM
Do I believe in one soul mate for each person? Not at all. I think their are many many
people out in the world who we could each be happy being married to or being friends
with. It's just a matter of meeting them.

Susie_Homemaker
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Posted: 11/20/2012 6:19:04 PM

I do believe in soul mates, but I think that there is more than one for each person. I use the term in a romantic sense only.

I think a soul mate is someone who intuitively understands us. Someone who it is 'easy' to be with and in a relationship with. Someone who we can truly be ourselves with, without pretense or fear of judgement or worry that they won't quite 'get' us.

Lots of people can have great relationships and wonderful marriages, but it is often hard work, involves a lot of compromise, and they are very different people at the core.

I think with a 'soul mate', there is just a natural understanding and compatibility that makes the relationship a lot more effortless.


This is how I think of a soulmate. My DH of 22 years is my best friend and he feels the same way about me. Our marriage feels "easy" and we go so well together.




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PeaNut

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Posted: 11/20/2012 6:32:57 PM
Nope.

Seven billion people on the planet and we're all supposed to find our one true soul mate? What if your soul mate is a little girl in China or an old man in Yemen? Good luck finding them!

So you marry someone else - and steal someone else's soul mate. So they steal someone else's. And then nobody ever finds theirs and we're all miserable.

I'm very happy with my boyfriend. But us meeting was a very strange chance meeting (other side of the world, happened to choose the same place to work, he'd very nearly returned home the week before I arrived, I very nearly went to a different country...). I don't believe that had we not met I'd be miserable with anyone else. I'd have met another bloke and eventually fallen in love and been happy. I think everyone can make it work with any number of people.

jenp1024
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Posted: 11/21/2012 3:02:09 AM
Yes. I married mine.

He and I understand one another on a level I didn't know was possible.

The details are too personal to share, but on 12/23/2000, nine years before we met, something happened to both of us that has convinced me that we are soulmates.


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Posted: 11/21/2012 4:03:18 AM
Yes, I do and I married mine too. I met my hubby when we were 15 years old and I just knew he was the one. We were married 6 years later, that was 20 years ago (next week).

Still crazy in love with each other, I feel very blessed and found my eternal happiness.

MandKsMom
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Posted: 11/21/2012 4:03:18 AM
Yes, I do and I married mine too. I met my hubby when we were 15 years old and I just knew he was the one. We were married 6 years later, that was 20 years ago (next week).

Still crazy in love with each other, I feel very blessed and found my eternal happiness.
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