Do parents buy anniversary gifts for their married children?

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Posted 11/25/2012 by manomo in NSBR Board
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PeaNut 249,133
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Posted: 11/25/2012 4:51:46 PM
This is the topic of discussion today with some of my friends. If you have married children do you buy them an anniversary gift or do your parents buy one for you and your DH?


PeaNut 191,815
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Posted: 11/25/2012 4:54:20 PM
No, at least not in my family. I think that would be sort of odd...


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PeaNut 497,090
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Posted: 11/25/2012 4:54:54 PM
What a wonderful idea. Never heard of it before, but really a great idea. Even just a card would be nice.


PeaNut 157,667
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Posted: 11/25/2012 4:55:43 PM
My parents bought us gifts when they were alive. We gave them gifts also.

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PeaNut 226,011
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Posted: 11/25/2012 4:55:48 PM
No, my family would do a card or something (if they thought about it), but not a gift.

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PeaNut 57,475
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Posted: 11/25/2012 4:55:49 PM
My mom never has. I think my ILs gave us something for our first anniversary, and usually a card every year since.


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PeaNut 18,334
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Posted: 11/25/2012 4:55:53 PM
No.. in my family the only people who exchange gifts for an anniversary are the two who married each other. The rest of us may say "congratulations" but that is about the extent of it..

well..other than super big anniversaries like 50.

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PeaNut 176,832
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Posted: 11/25/2012 4:56:59 PM
Every year my sweetheart of a MIL would send DH and I a check with a card, to "go out for a nice dinner." This was the first year we didn't get her card. She passed away this summer. She was incredibly thoughtful that way.

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PeaNut 61,691
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:00:58 PM
My MIL always gives us an anniversary present - generally something for our home. In the past she's given us crystal bowls, turkey platters and the like. My mother completed a set of Waterford stemware for us over the years on our anniversary, but hasn't given us anything since that set was complete.

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PeaNut 59,094
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:04:02 PM
My ILs send us a check and a card every year which is very kind.

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PeaNut 156,993
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:08:27 PM
My mom sends us a check every year.


PeaNut 387,904
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:10:45 PM
No. We acknowledge each other's anniversary with a card.

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PeaNut 27,933
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:14:03 PM
no. My MIL has sent a card a couple of times and if we see them we get a "congratulations" but that's it. My parents have never even sent a card. We often get a personal congratulations though because we see them for birthdays around that time. It's only fair we don't get gifts though because we don't buy anniversary gifts for them either.


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PeaNut 64,257
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:16:03 PM
My mother in law will send us cards. Sometimes a restaurant gift cert if she has the money.

My parents probably don't even know what date my anniversary is.

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PeaNut 257,161
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:22:59 PM
We get my IL's a gift every year for their anniversary. We also receive a check from them each year.

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PeaNut 60,064
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:28:22 PM
My mother sends a card. My FIL gives us money to go out for dinner. When my MIL was still alive, we gave them gifts for milestone anniversaries.


PeaNut 242,276
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:31:22 PM
My step-mom has often bought us anniversary gifts but then stopped when it became too much along with grand kids etc. But then did for our 25th.

Now she also buys me and DH gift cards for mothers day and fathers day which I thought unusual but very sweet.

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PeaNut 11,642
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:34:24 PM
In our family, anniversaries are just between the couple. I might say happy anniversary to my parents, and they might to me, but no gifts except between the spouses.

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PeaNut 26,443
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:38:23 PM
My parents have given us $50 every year on our anniversary. We use it to go out for dinner. I've never expected it, but my mom always gives us a check inside of a card.

DH's parents do not give us a "gift" but they do give us a card.

We do not usually buy either parents a gift, but we do give a card. Once in awhile if I come across something that I knew they want as a "couple" I will buy it, but usually not.



PeaNut 555,986
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:42:45 PM
My inlaws give my husband & I a card every year with $25 check or gift card to a restaurant. I think it's nice but weird. My husband's siblings may give them anniversary gifts, I don't know, but we don't. I think anniversaries are between the 2 who are married!
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PeaNut 247,594
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:44:35 PM
No. His grandmother does send us a card, which is very sweet, but that's it. I think that is fine, the anniversary is between us.


PeaNut 204,709
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:48:46 PM
Yes, my Mom sends us a check for our anniversary. My in-laws take us out to dinner and give us a small gift. My daughter got married this past June and we will be giving them a gift or check for their anniversary.


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PeaNut 35,457
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:57:27 PM
My mom does a card and sometimes a gift. This year she gave a couple devotional and it arrived in the mail.

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PeaNut 52,817
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Posted: 11/25/2012 5:58:43 PM
Our parents usually treat us to dinner or brunch out for our anniversary and we do the same for theirs. No tangible gifts (except at milestone anniversaries).

I don't know why it would be weird.

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PeaNut 48,862
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:00:53 PM
Ours do. Usually a restaurant gift card or something we need for the house.


PeaNut 261,174
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:01:56 PM
My one-year anniversary was in April. My parents didn't get me a gift; however, I do wish they had acknowledged it with a phone call or card!


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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:07:18 PM
I also believe that anniversaries are mainly to be celebrated between those who have married each other.

With that said though, with our two married daughters we've started a tradition that I hope to keep on doing. I check out the Urban Spoon website for the cities where they live and send them a $50.00 gift card from a restaurant I think they would enjoy. Where my kids live $50.00 doesn't go very far, but I send the card with the intention that they will go out and have a couple of drinks and an appetizer or two on us and know that we celebrate with them. Easy-peasy, not a lot of $$ but fun to do.

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PeaNut 27,295
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:19:27 PM
My family does nothing, but my inlaws have always given us a card and something home oriented - place settings, sheets, towels.

I really appreciate the sentiment.

I love the idea of a restaurant gift card

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PeaNut 224,352
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:27:31 PM
Well they certainly would not buy them for their single children.

Yes, my mother and my inlaws give a gift and card at every anniversary. We do the same for my inlaws.

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PeaNut 146,346
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:28:30 PM
My parents and in laws have always given us a card with money to go out to dinner. We also buy them a card and either take them out or give a small gift on their anniversaries.

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PeaNut 31,617
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:29:46 PM
No, my parents never got me an anniversary gift.

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PeaNut 65,852
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:29:47 PM
My inlaws have been sending us out to eat every year on our anniversary for 20 years now. They pay for dinner.

It's very sweet.

My parents send a card.

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PeaNut 9,019
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:31:49 PM
My MIL got very put out with me one year because I didn't acknowledge their anniversary. She does send us a card on our anniversary but since I wasn't 'there' for their wedding, I think it is ridiculous to expect 'me' to remember their anniversary. This year was their 50th so I planned a small party for them...except she told me what she expected and how she and her sister did things for their parents 25th and 40th anniversary.

Personally, I feel the anniversary is between the couple. It is nice when parents acknowledge them as they were a big part of the wedding but to expect kids(let alone DIL!) to make a fuss, especially on an insignificant number anniversary is ridiculous!


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PeaNut 33,785
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:34:41 PM
My parents are both gone but when they were still alive they didn't even send a card. We get a card and gift from my in-laws every year. It's very sweet that they remember. And honestly, their gift isn't like some big elaborate expensive gift but it's usually something very thoughtful.

We take them a card with cash in it for their anniversary.

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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:35:20 PM
Not in my family. The general consensus is an anniversary is between the husband and wife. The exceptions would be if there was a big milestone and then it's a party. Even then, no one brings presents.


PeaNut 419,133
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:38:07 PM
We get a card from my parents every year and either they or my in-laws will babysit so we can go to dinner. My sister is a newlywed and I gave them a gift for their first anniversary mainly because I saw something I loved on Etsy and wanted an excuse to give it to her, but it will be cards from now on. We also send cards to our parents on their anniversaries, but no gifts.

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PeaNut 220
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:41:45 PM
My parents always do something either a card with a check or a nice gift. Anniversaries and birthdays have always been an important day in their book.


PeaNut 453,032
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:47:04 PM
Mine do. My mom gets us a gift (usually something home related that she notices we need - like new pillowcases, etc). My ILs send a check. I think it's really nice if them!

ETA: I read through the responses and wanted to add that we also get ILs a gift. (My parents are no longer married). We LIKE to celebrate their marriage and dont feel like we are expected to gift them something. DH and I feel blessed that they are such a great model of a long and lasting marriage and want to let them know that by commemorating each year on their anniversary..
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PeaNut 151,660
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:47:11 PM
My MIL did for the first few anniversaries we had. She usually just sends a card now. She's about the only person, besides DH & I who remember the date.

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PeaNut 12,495
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:51:41 PM
My in-laws have given us gift cards to restaurants and a card in the past. It's really thoughtful of them to remember our anniversary like that.


PeaNut 9,287
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Posted: 11/25/2012 6:57:06 PM
We gave our son and daughter in law some money for their first anniversary to help with their belated honeymoon. Same with our daughter though hers was about their 3rd anniversary. We send anniversary cards to the couple that live out of town and sometimes take them out to dinner after their anniversary or sometimes with us on our anniversary dinner since they're close. I love celebrating with them cause I'm happy for them <3 My mother in law has never forgotten our anniversary, she sends a card and I get a card most years from my mom.


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Posted: 11/25/2012 7:40:05 PM
Yes my parents send us money every year.


PeaNut 90,200
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Posted: 11/25/2012 7:51:28 PM
My mom and MIL do, but it wouldn't bug me if they didn't.

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PeaNut 146,748
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Posted: 11/25/2012 7:52:20 PM
I don't believe I have ever in 30+ years gotten even a card from my parents or dh's.

and I might send a card, but probably not a gift when my kids marry and have anniversaries


PeaNut 432,055
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Posted: 11/25/2012 7:55:49 PM
I think an anniversary is between the husband and wife. It would freak me out if anyone, family or friend, got us a gift or card.

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PeaNut 14,521
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Posted: 11/25/2012 10:25:29 PM
Gifts, no...but dh's mom always sends a card.


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PeaNut 92,987
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Posted: 11/26/2012 12:07:34 AM
Our mothers send cards.

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Posted: 11/26/2012 2:35:47 AM
I think my MIL sent us a card for the first few years - I remeber thinking the first year that it was a bit odd. My parents (well, mainly dad, as mum passed on only 3 years after we married) never sent us anything, except for out 25th.

I only have one married child - they've been married for 2 years next week. I do send them a gift around this time of year - the Christmas Markets open here this week and I am buying them a nativity set bit by bit. Last year the got the Holy Family; this year I'm adding an angel and maybe a shepherd or 2. By the time they've been married 5 year, we should have a reasonable cast!


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PeaNut 69,453
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Posted: 11/26/2012 8:37:20 AM
My dad sends us a card. My mom calls and dh's mom doesn't do anything except maybe post a congrats msg on FB.


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PeaNut 322,554
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Posted: 11/26/2012 3:09:49 PM
Neither my parents nor my in-laws recognize our anniversary.
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