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Mrs_Tyler
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 |  Posted: 12/2/2012 11:11:26 PM
would he bring a gift for all the kids on the block?
Our block is planning a gathering for the kids- we play all summer but tend to cozy up in our homes all winter and this year we want to get together more. One of my neighbors is offering to host a gathering and she has connections to a "professional Santa" who we'd all pitch in ($10 a family?) to have come surprise the kids. Someone suggested we each bring our kid a gift for Santa to give them.
I see a few issues with that suggestion:
1) Santa doesn't bring the gifts until Christmas Eve. Why would he bring early gifts and come back again the big night with more?
2) Some families on our block spend BIG bucks on their kids and others of us have much more simplified Christmases.
3) All of our kids have crazy amounts of toys already and they will just be getting more from family and friends in addition to the Santa gifts that are already scheduled to come.
I suggested we have the kids bring a toy to send with Santa to help him bring gifts to kids who have less this year. My 6 year old asked the other day why some kids are too poor to get presents from Santa. I explained that it's up to us to help him by donating to organizations like Toys for Tots so that all kids get to have a gift from Santa. We could stash the donations so one of us could drop it off at Toys for Tots. Santa could praise the kids for their kindness and generosity and promise to mark that in his book and they can look for something very special from him on Christmas morning. Each kid could get a candy cane or some little treat from him but not necessarily a toy or present.
People are liking that idea, but some feel Santa should still give each child a gift because they think the little ones will be confused if he comes without giving them something.
I don't want any of the kids to think they were bad because they saw Santa and he didn't give them a gift, but I also don't want to feel pressure to buy another gift for all three of my kids for Santa to give them at this party. We do 2 Santa gifts per kid each year and our kids really don't need more than that. They get from grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. and wind up with SO MUCH.
Am I being a scrooge? | |
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IScrapCrap
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| Posted: 12/2/2012 11:14:15 PM
I don't see the big deal in giving and donating a gift. When we had church Christmas parties Santa came at the end and gave us a stocking with candy. | |
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voltagain
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 | Posted: 12/2/2012 11:16:04 PM
When my kids were small the office santa brought gifts (provided by parents) It wasn't a big gift.. things like a Christmas book or movie that we likely would have bought for family entertainment anyway.
Didn't seem to confuse any kids.
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Mrs_Tyler
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| Posted: 12/2/2012 11:21:03 PM
I get it, Volt. But I know there are some major discrepancies between what Santa spends on a few neighbors' homes verses what Santa spends at our house. Our kids get 2 Santa gifts each. I know dh would object to us attending at all if it means we get pressured to go buy another gift for all three of our kids so Santa can give them something early. I just don't think it's necessary and it will be just as magical for the kids to get to see him and get a candy cane or something with the promise to bring more if they stay on his nice list. | |
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asr70
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 | Posted: 12/2/2012 11:34:48 PM
My mother's co-op puts on a dinner every year and Santa comes for the kids 12 and under. He brings gifts for them, but you rsvp how many kids are coming and their name and age. I'm not sure how they do it but I think it is done in a generic 'boy - 7 yrs', 'girl - 9yrs' way with a preset budget. Perhaps your neighbourhood could do a $20 per kid budget or something to keep it fair?
eta: or even just a colouring book and crayons or a book with a candycane - something inexpensive like that? |
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Mrs_Tyler
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| Posted: 12/2/2012 11:37:42 PM
I agree we'd have to agree on a budget per child. But no way would I go if we'd have to spend another $20 on each of our three kids plus chip in to pay Santa to come and help bring potluck food to share with the neighborhood.
Why can't we be happy to just see Santa and tell him what we want for Christmas? Why do we have to spend MORE money for more toys that our kids just don't need? | |
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mollyw
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 8:15:09 AM
When the neighborhood Santa use to stop by our house early- he said he was looking for good landing spots for his sleigh. He pretended to be checking out the area.
You could also have him bring a batch of sugar cookies and Say that mrs. Claus baked too much so he wanted to pass those out.
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GrinningCat
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:17:28 AM
Do I think you're being a Scrooge? Yes. Do I understand your point? Yes. But I think you should buy the gift for the party and go with the fun and spirit of the event. To me (and I know you'll disagree, judging by the small amount of presents you listed), Christmas is all about giving gifts and having the joy of opening tons and tons of presents. And having presents at the parties that lead up to Christmas. I went to plenty of parties as a kid where Santa handed out gifts and it never confused me. It was a fun early present.
I don't think it's a big deal to get a gift from Santa before the big night.
And there's no reason why you can't receive a gift and donate a gift for others. It's not an either or thing. | |
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OSUBuckeyeFan
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:20:10 AM
We have a Christmas party after Christmas for the family on my Dad's side. He has 8 brothers and sisters. So, lots of kids and grandkids. Sadly, we lost one of our cousins the day before Thanksgiving due to lung cancer after an almost 3yr valliant fight. We thought of skipping the family party this year but we know Chrissy would want us to have the party. I hope her husband brings their son, who is one week older than my own son.
Anyway, we bring a gift for our child for Santa to pass out. Santa is usually played by my brother. He does a fabulous job at it! I don't spend anymore than $10 on it. I tell my son that these are the gifts that Santa forgot in his sleigh. He does have a LOT of gifts to pass out on Christmas Eve you know. |
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basketdiva
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:33:29 AM
When we had a Santa come to our Christmas parties, he only passed out candy canes. If any of the kids asked about a gift, he told them they were only delivered on Christmas. Kids were fine with it.
This way there are no tears over who got a better gift. | |
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Mrs_Tyler
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:49:12 AM
But I think you should buy the gift for the party
But it's not just "the" one gift. It would have to be three- one for each kid. Christmas isn't about GETTING gifts at our house as much as it is about time with family to celebrate Christ. After sleeping on this, I do feel it's important that I push for a very small something that is the same for each kid so there's no tears over not getting what another child got.
I just think it should be Santa checking in and scouting for a landing zone and he can bring a candy cane for each child. Honestly, if the rest of the block is going to push for a bigger gift giving event, our family will find some other holiday event to be busy with that day. | |
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melanell
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:52:17 AM
Santas usually hand out something very small around here. A book, a candy cane, a coloring book, or if it's the Santa at Hershey, chocolate, of course. 
Why can't the big guy give out something small and basically uniform to everyone?
That sound simple, an yet it still allows Santa to give the kids a little something while they wait for the big day. | |
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sugarcoated
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 8:53:59 AM
We've done it a couple of ways: one is Santa gives nothing but a little chat with each child, and a photo being taken; another is a candy cane and a chat with a photo, and the other is a very inexpensive grab bag where each person brings a specific dollar gift for a like individual (i.e., sex and age group).
My kids were never confused about the difference between a neighborhood Santa and the "real" Santa.
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Shevy
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 8:58:00 AM
How about you suggest the gift be a new book if they're stuck on giving gifts?
I do really like the idea that each child would be assigned an age range to buy a small gift to give to Toys for Tots or something. It gives the message that Christmas isn't only about getting, but giving and giving to those we don't know also. |
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brandy_m
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:00:43 AM
I'm sorry but I think you're being a Scrooge.
I know your kids are still little, but is your oldest old enough to hear "talk" about Santa coming to the party they weren't at if you choose not to go?
I think there definitely needs to be a reasonable price limit set, so that one kid does not get a coloring book and one get a Wii, KWIM? But I think you should buy each of your kids another present (But this is coming from someone who buys too much, and each year I say I won't and then I do LOL), and go and have a good time.
When my kids were younger we did SEVERAL of these types of things...and while every year I thought "ack! One more present!" my kids had the great time. And that's all that matters.
(although I think donating is great too. Could you suggest each family bring a $10 gift to donate and then no more than $10 per kid spent on the Santa gift?)
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Oliquig
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 9:07:07 AM
I think each kid should get a candy cane. I like getting presents just as much as everyone else, but this seems to me like it could lead to some hurt feelings.
I love the idea about bringing a gift, but if a fight occurs, maybe go with a $5 limit. |
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Idahopea
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:07:19 AM
I don't think a visit with Santa should mean you get a present. If the kids visit Santa at the mall, they don't get a present! Maybe a candycane, but not a present. I really don't think Santa should bring a real present early to the party especially if everyone has to provide their own. That opens up a can of worms of some kids being happy with their present and some not when one is much better than another. I think that would cause more problems and have the kids asking more questions than the fun of the party would bring.
One holiday party we went to when our kids were little had little gift bags for the kids that Santa handed out, but they had really small things in them like a holiday pencil and tiny notepad, a tiny thing of play-doh, a few pieces of candy or a candycane, a sheet of stickers, etc. Very generic things like you would find in a birthday party bag and the same for everyone. Maybe something like that could be a compromise? I think the party we went to had special bags for the under 3 aged kids. So the older kid bags were green and the under 3 bags were red or some really easy way for Santa to know which bag to give to a kid.
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PierKiss
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:09:05 AM
What if everyone agreed to do something super simple and relatively cheap like coloring books and crayons? That way everyone spends about the same amount, and nobodies kid gets upset over "he got x, why didn't I get x too?" sort of thing?
I looooove the idea of doing a toys for tots drive instead of santa giving gifts though. |
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JBeans
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:09:52 AM
I do get your point. Santa should be able to show up to an event without having to open a gift sack.
Did the give you a dollar range for the kids? Why don't you make that suggestion? (Never mind, I see we're discussing that).
Why don't you suggest to the parents that Santa is just doing PR events before Christmas. It does save the hassle.
Besides, isn't explaining Santa to the kiddies full of making up stuff to explain whatever Santa situation comes there way?
I remember having to buy Christmas presents in front of my kid when hubby was on the road. It wasn't hard to do.
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Well Peas, I believe this thread has gone Thrusday.
"The Pot has not just met the Kettle, they are getting jiggy on the top of the stove." -Lanus | |
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jenp1024
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:13:53 AM
I just think it should be Santa checking in and scouting for a landing zone and he can bring a candy cane for each child. Honestly, if the rest of the block is going to push for a bigger gift giving event, our family will find some other holiday event to be busy with that day.
So if you don't get your way you aren't going to go? Yes, that's being a Scrooge. | |
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Pen and Ink
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:15:01 AM
Mrs. Tyler, I agree with you, and your concerns are valid. When my kids were little, I belonged to a community that did exactly this. Invited a Santa to an early Christmas party. Each parent was supposed to bring a wrapped, labeled gift for their own children, with a $10 limit per child.
My kids were quite young, probably 5 and 3. Totally believed in Santa. I followed the rules and bought two $10 gifts. Other parents didn't. One girl in particular received something much more pricey that my DD wanted desperately. As I recall, it was on her wish list. She was devastated that Santa didn't
like her enough to bring what she really wanted. Why hadn't he read her letter too? My kids were really never ones to be jealous at birthday parties when they watched other kids open gifts, so this came right out of left field. It wasnt that she threw a fit, or made a scene. It's that she was so personally hurt.
I love the idea of specifying that the gift should be a book. Or better yet, give the gifts to toys for tots. The kids could each give a toy TO Santa to help with needy kids. |
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cm_stephenson
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:20:21 AM
Not quite the same sort of event but we just had our Christmas Lights Switch On event and Santa always pops in - mainly to collect the children's letters. We don't ask Santa to bring gifts but he does bring some sweeties to share out with everyone.
It works just fine and we don;t get any awkward questions
Cathy |
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JBeans
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 10:43:09 AM
I just think it should be Santa checking in and scouting for a landing zone and he can bring a candy cane for each child. Honestly, if the rest of the block is going to push for a bigger gift giving event, our family will find some other holiday event to be busy with that day.
So if you don't get your way you aren't going to go? Yes, that's being a Scrooge.
Call me a bitch, but I don't entirely think that is being a Scrooge. The excess gift giving for events like this get out of hand whether you can afford every Christmas event or not. Truly.
If you simply can't afford it, why set your kid up for disappointment?
Santa doesn't need to be bringing a gift every bloody time he makes an appearance somewhere before Christmas and I find the notion that people think he has to excessive stupidity.
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Well Peas, I believe this thread has gone Thrusday.
"The Pot has not just met the Kettle, they are getting jiggy on the top of the stove." -Lanus | |
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MerryMom937
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 10:49:26 AM
I equate this to seeing Santa at the mall and when kids see the mall Santa, they present their list or tell him their wishes. Santa doesn't give them a present then, he gives a candy cane and reminds them to be good.
I don't find that confusing at all. Neither do kids.
P.S. My aunt and uncle are "professional" M/M Claus and the only time that they present a present is when they make an appearance at a hospital, group home, "Make A Wish" appearance, or when on missions work. They have attended the Santa school, but their appearances are usually related to charitable organizations, not "Rent a Santa" appearances.
(ETA: I'm not against paid "Rent a Santa" appearances, I just added that as a disclaimer that my aunt and uncle's appearances are limited to that type of appearance and not paid appearances. )
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Jillsie Pea
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 10:56:42 AM
So if you don't get your way you aren't going to go? Yes, that's being a Scrooge.
Yeah, explain to the kids why they are not going.....
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divinghkns
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:00:45 AM
When Santa came to our elementary schools he handed out candy canes to all the students. It never occurred to me (as a child) that he should have handed out gifts...I was just excited for the candy.
So maybe he could have a small treat like that for all the kids.
Personally I like your idea of donating something, so maybe still do that and then have him hand out candy canes. | |
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dwisker
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 11:04:27 AM
Why not have a discussion with all of the families and decide on a spending limit? You can surely find something inexpensive that your kids would like, perhaps a small car, a set of markers, etc?
Our local FD has a "Santa Run" every year. All 4 trucks go to all parts of the fire district and pass out a coloring book, a small box of Crayolas and a candy cane. The kids love it. Some bring a letter to give to him with their wish list.
Perhaps the same thing can be done at your neighborhood gathering? |
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divinghkns
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:04:33 AM
Why can't we be happy to just see Santa and tell him what we want for Christmas?
This makes me think of an idea...don't have him bring gifts and if the kids ask why, then explain that was their chance to ask him for something and he'll bring actual gifts on Christmas eve? | |
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wholarmor
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:16:45 AM
I don't think Santa has to bring a present for every appearance. That's silly. At the mall, you get a candy cane. I never expected Santa to bring presents with him at Christmas parties when I was a kid- except at our family Christmas party when my grandpa would dress up like Santa. And even then I knew that it wasn't the real Santa, lol. I like your idea of donating gifts for needy kids. I think that the parents insisting on him bringing gifts are being silly. |
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doesitmatter?
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 11:38:02 AM
I love your idea of Santa picking up donated toys from your kids!
If the other patents won't go for that - maybe Santa can bring books - inexpensive and not a discrepancy of who got what you etc- cus a book is a book .. Or just candy canes? Every Santa we have ever seen gives candy canes. Easy. |
| Child of God, follower of Jesus, and so thankful for His presence in my life <>< | |
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snugglebutter
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:45:48 AM
I think a candy cane is just fine. |
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Miss Lerins Momma
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SockMonkey
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 12:26:19 PM
Santa should give each child a candy cane.
Keep it simple!
I've never in my life heard that kids would be "confused" because they don't get a gift when they see Santa. When we sat on Santa's lap as kids, it was to tell him what we wanted for Christmas and for him to ask if we've been good. We never got anything more than a candy cane, if that.
The donating a toy thing is a nice idea, too, but probably unnecessary.
Again, I'd keep it simple. | |
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*HuskerFaninIL*
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 12:30:20 PM
I like the donating a toy idea.
If the parents are concerned, could someone make small goody bags with just a few mini-candy bars as a gift from Santa.
We always had Santa visit our preschool kids and the parents would bring a gift on the sly ahead of time to the office for Santa to bring. No one questioned it. |
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azredhead34
peaintheheat
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 12:30:40 PM
Be creative! Keep it simple. I would still go and take something even if you make it or go to a goodwill something like that. You can get toys for cheap.
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peamac
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 12:43:40 PM
When they visit Santa at the mall, do they get a gift? I'd go with him just giving each child a candy cane, cookie, or something like that. No need for him to bring a "pre-Christmas" gift.
I really like the idea of donating gifts for others, though. |
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dottyscrapper
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 12:43:50 PM
When Father Christmas visits pre-school ( kindi) or anywhere similar over here he only gives a very small ( in value) present. I would suggest that you collect some extra $$ from each household and buy every child the same present. Can you buy them all a colouring book and some crayons or some stickers - just something small with a candy cane.
I understand the concern that you have for the extra pressies though.
But I would hesitate to ask each family to buy their own as some kid will end up with a far more expensive present than the other kid because cost would not be an issue to some parents !
As for the donating a toy for Santa to give someone else. We come back to the magic of Santa here though. It's very difficult to make a young child understand that Santa doesn't have enough toys to give EVERYONE. I would go down the route of explaining that Santa will take these donated toys to the other children because they may not have any Mommy or Daddy, Aunts & Uncles to buy them any extra to what Santa may give them. Far more acceptable for a young child than Santa picking & choosing who he gives toys to
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basketlacey
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 12:44:32 PM
I don't think you are being a scrooge at all! I totally agree with where you are coming from. I think a candy cane is fine or if people insist on a gift, I would suggest getting a bunch of $1 coloring books.
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Basketlacey
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ksuheather
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 12:45:31 PM
I'm with you. Christmas isn't all about the gifts for us and our kids see Santa several times and are quite happy with the candy cane. If your neighborhood's decision doesn't go with your family's values then I say skip it this year. And FTR we aren't bringing our kids to DH's unit party in part so we don't have to buy another Santa gift for them and take them out of school. |
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Mrs_Tyler
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 1:26:10 PM
So if you don't get your way you aren't going to go?
With one person on the block suggesting the budget be $20-$30 per kid? Yes, that would end up being $60-$80 plus the potluck food we'd bring to the party plus the money we'd pitch in to hire Santa for the evening. At that rate, we'd almost be better off hiring him to come just to our house. My kids might hear Santa stopped by the neighbor's but if we had a fun holiday activity planned instead- seeing Santa somewhere else or visiting cousins they love spending time with?
If the budget for gifts is over $10 a child, yes, we'd prefer to find something different that aligns more to our family's view of what Christmas is about. I think Santa just making an appearance is magical and fun and I don't want to participate in over-spending just for the sake of over-spending. That isn't what this holiday is about. | |
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GrinningCat
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 1:40:02 PM
I'll be honest, I don't understand why this would be considered "overspending"? | |
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snugglebutter
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 1:56:58 PM
I'll be honest, I don't understand why this would be considered "overspending"?
And I'm not sure how this is confusing. The OP has a set amount that they spend on gifts. More than that would be overspending for them.
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writermom1
Thrift Whisperer
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 2:01:20 PM
I like your idea.
The little ones will not be confused. Those who visit Mall Santa's don't get a gift when they visit him do they? |
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asr70
PeaAddict
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 2:08:29 PM
With one person on the block suggesting the budget be $20-$30 per kid? Yes, that would end up being $60-$80 plus the potluck food we'd bring to the party plus the money we'd pitch in to hire Santa for the evening. At that rate, we'd almost be better off hiring him to come just to our house. My kids might hear Santa stopped by the neighbor's but if we had a fun holiday activity planned instead- seeing Santa somewhere else or visiting cousins they love spending time with?
If the budget for gifts is over $10 a child, yes, we'd prefer to find something different that aligns more to our family's view of what Christmas is about. I think Santa just making an appearance is magical and fun and I don't want to participate in over-spending just for the sake of over-spending. That isn't what this holiday is about.
That is a lot of money when you look at it like that. I don't think you are being scroogey about this. |
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stace3
nothing to see here
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 2:11:17 PM
I think about our neighbourhood dynamics and if they are like yours, you probably can't win here, especially if parents are already insisting presents be given. Much like Two Peas and the various Santa beliefs you find here, it is going to be hard to get everyone on the same page.
I am surprised Santa brings presents beforehand. I would think a candy cane would be fine, just like if you visited Santa at the mall beforehand.
If this celebration doesn't align with what works for your family, by all means opt out. I'd caution you on taking them to see Santa elsewhere during that time period. That may be confusing to the kids if they hear Santa was also in the neighbourhood then. Maybe a visit to the cousins is best. | |
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Spongemom Scrappants
HRH pilates teaching wino ball of fun
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 2:30:14 PM
It's all well and good that everyone here is pretty much in agreement that all their Santa needs to bring is a candy cane. The problem with that is... it's THEIR Santa. They get to decide.
Honestly, if the rest of the block is going to push for a bigger gift giving event, our family will find some other holiday event to be busy with that day.
If this is a majority rule situation and it sounds like most are in favor of Santa bringing gifts, then I think Mrs. Tyler will have to go with finding another event that day. Just because you have all the good reasons in the world why people should do things your way, it doesn't mean they will. |
Angie
Where the boys are... my new husband, my four sons and my boy cat.
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Burning Feather
I conceived but I can't see you
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finally~a~mama
StuckOnPeas
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 | Posted: 12/3/2012 2:45:15 PM
I don't think you are being a scrooge Mrs. Tyler. I wouldn't care for the Santa giving a gift idea either. I guess I'm coming at that from the tradition of "you visit Santa & tell him what gift you would like and then he brings it to your house later."
How many kids are we talking about? I'm just thinking the logistics of Santa handing out a bunch of gifts (AND making sure it is the right gift to the right child) at a party sounds like the potential for confusion.
Honestly, I wouldn't want to turn this into a toy drive because I "already" give to multiple charitable drives at this time of year. I'm sure many others to do.
I think I would suggest that Santa brings a little baggie of candy (or candy cane) for each child & leave it at that. |
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JBeans
Tampons. Not just for Xmas ornaments anymore.
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 2:46:05 PM
I'll be honest, I don't understand why this would be considered "overspending"?
Because the money in a household just doesn't get used on just one person. Imagine having to spread your income between numerous people. That's clothes, food, utilities, activities, Christmas presents, presents for other family and friends. There is only so much cash to go around. |
Well Peas, I believe this thread has gone Thrusday.
"The Pot has not just met the Kettle, they are getting jiggy on the top of the stove." -Lanus | |
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ilovecookies
PeaAddict
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| Posted: 12/3/2012 3:12:05 PM
Am I being a scrooge?
Kind of-and here's why.
While I like your idea of a donated gift, it sounds like the majority of the other people pitching in for this Santa visit didn't. Like it or not, you're going to have to try to compromise, and if you can't all come up with some sort of compromise, then you need to gracefully bow out and make other plans.
It's unfortunate for your kids, but you could always plan some special excursion for them on that day so that they don't feel left out of the neighborhood festivities. |
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Pete & Nico
