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jenp1024
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 51,697
October 2002
Posts: 5,991
Layouts: 9
Loc: Connecticut
 |  Posted: 12/3/2012 3:22:51 PM
So if you don't get your way you aren't going to go?
With one person on the block suggesting the budget be $20-$30 per kid? Yes, that would end up being $60-$80 plus the potluck food we'd bring to the party plus the money we'd pitch in to hire Santa for the evening. At that rate, we'd almost be better off hiring him to come just to our house. My kids might hear Santa stopped by the neighbor's but if we had a fun holiday activity planned instead- seeing Santa somewhere else or visiting cousins they love spending time with?
If the budget for gifts is over $10 a child, yes, we'd prefer to find something different that aligns more to our family's view of what Christmas is about. I think Santa just making an appearance is magical and fun and I don't want to participate in over-spending just for the sake of over-spending. That isn't what this holiday is about.
Then why don't you just bring something that is within your $10 budget? There are tons of deals to be had; I just bought my niece a Barbie house priced at $79.99 for $15.30. No one needs to know what you actually spent. 
I understand what you are saying about wanting your children to understand the true meaning behind Christmas. But don't you also want them to feel a part of what sounds like a wonderful neighborhood? If you had originally expressed interest in this event and then don't go, you may find that you are excluded from other events as well. People may not understand your reasons and may take it personally. | |
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angievp
Ideay pues?
PeaNut 143,106
April 2004
Posts: 6,637
Layouts: 36
Loc: Miami
 | Posted: 12/3/2012 5:14:59 PM
I think you are to a certain extent. I think you can find a token gift that costs less than 20 dollars per kid to take to the event.
I mean, if your reason for going is to foster community/neighborhood unity, I really don't see a reason not to go. | |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,060
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
 | Posted: 12/3/2012 5:24:57 PM
Another neighbor already suggested a $5-$10 limit and it's looking like others are agreeing with the lower price point. I suggested we each get our kids a book for Santa to give. We'll see what happens. I gave the donation suggestion and recommended if we do a gift at all it should be pretty similar price and item so we don't have tears or hurt feelings over the differences in gifts.
It's "overspending" because it's not a part of what we have budgeted for Christmas. The "self-imposed 2 gift rule" is what it is because we don't DO big and crazy with Christmas gifts. EVER. We want our kids to experience a little magic and wonder regarding the santa story, but we are very determined to raise our children knowing the true gift of Christmas is Christ and that we give to others because He gave everything for us. I have no issues with other families spending whatever they want to make their holiday magical and wonderful in the way they dream it to be. However, when it comes to our own kids, we shouldn't feel pressured to keep up with the neighbors' spending habits or gift giving. Our kids will eventually figure out that Santa sure leaves a lot more than 2 things for the neighbors down the road and ultimately they'll figure it all out for themselves. But in the meantime, I do think it's important to stick to our own budget and beliefs regarding the holiday and keep sticking with the lessons we have decided are important to our values. | |
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doesitmatter?
AncestralPea
PeaNut 509,811
May 2011
Posts: 4,847
Layouts: 21
 | Posted: 12/3/2012 6:53:41 PM
Chiming in again to say I like Santa delivering cookies from Mrs Claus and collecting the kids wish lists too! |
| Child of God, follower of Jesus, and so thankful for His presence in my life <>< | |
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mamato1
PEA-vil Genius
PeaNut 54,808
November 2002
Posts: 12,243
Layouts: 138
Loc: Sweet Home Chicago
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:06:23 PM
I'd go and buy the presents, but I really like giving gifts and our budget just isn't that tight, I guess.
We used to do this at my mommy group Christmas party. Each family brought a gift for each child that cost under $15. There was never an issue. Each kid was just excited to open their own gift. It was fine.
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~*Jamie*~
happily married to my very own Geek
Mom to the Divine Miss Em, sweet Cadiebug and baby Annie (6/09) | |
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Maryland
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 87,597
May 2003
Posts: 8,785
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:37:57 PM
I agree with you, get a gift for Santa to have to needy children. I know what you mean about our kids having too many toys. I think if everyone gets a nice gift to give to Santa that would be showing kids a nice act of kindness. That you want to help Santa by giving extra gifts for children who don't get much all year. It sounds like you and your neighbors kids have a lot as it is. Just having a party is fun and they don't need extra stuff.
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,060
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:12:29 PM
It sounds like the decision is to have either a book, puzzle, or coloring book for each child. I can get on board with that. It was the suggestion of a $25 gift or drawing names to buy for other people's kids with a $20 limit that I was not interested in doing. Many neighbors liked the donation idea, but since most of us already have started a tradition of donating toys with our families we'll just skip that for this gathering.
Seems like it has worked out reasonably. | |
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GrinningCat
Proudly Canadian
PeaNut 43,061
July 2002
Posts: 31,523
Layouts: 2
| Posted: 12/4/2012 7:15:00 AM
Glad it's working out.
I never considered a party budget the same thing as a Christmas budget. They are two different things in my mind, thus why I didn't understand why the Christmas present budget would be taxed by spending money for a gift at a party. But I also refuse to work with a set Christmas budget because they never work (I have a target per person but rarely budget).
But it's good to hear that compromise and dialogue are taking place. | |
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CMHS
BucketHead
PeaNut 407,137
January 2009
Posts: 987
Layouts: 0
Loc: New Jersey
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 7:41:02 AM
I think Santa should give each of the children a nice candy cane or coloring book or some other small token gift -- all the same so no one gets their feelings hurt. If the kids all get different things, you can bet money someone's feelings will get hurt. |
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CarefreeSadie
PeaNut
PeaNut 311,391
April 2007
Posts: 177
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 1:25:26 PM
When my kids were young (in the olden days) we went to quite a few Christmas parties where Santa came to visit. He almost always gave all the kids a brown paper sack filled with an orange, an apple, and a few pieces of candy. The kids loved it. Of course Santa told them to all be good so he could stop at their homes on Christmas Eve after they were in bed. Santa handed the sacks to each child. | |
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Sunshine36616
God peas protect me from your followers
PeaNut 180,214
December 2004
Posts: 30,602
Layouts: 204
Loc: stalking the crease
| Posted: 12/4/2012 2:23:02 PM
My old job had a kids' Christmas party for the employees. Kids under 7 got a small $5 gift and 8 and up got a $5 gift card to blockbuster (back when they were around). It was really nice, Santa was actually there and gave them the gift. I think most parents just told their kids that Santa was a friend of our office manager and always stopped by. |
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tamhugh
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 12,875
March 2001
Posts: 7,883
Layouts: 11
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 2:31:03 PM
However, when it comes to our own kids, we shouldn't feel pressured to keep up with the neighbors' spending habits or gift giving. Our kids will eventually figure out that Santa sure leaves a lot more than 2 things for the neighbors down the road and ultimately they'll figure it all out for themselves. But in the meantime, I do think it's important to stick to our own budget and beliefs regarding the holiday and keep sticking with the lessons we have decided are important to our values.
This is absolutely true, but at the same time, your neighbors shouldn't have to change how they handle things to suit your budget and beliefs. If the majority of the neighbors want to have Santa give a gift, you will have to decide if you want to give in to that plan or skip the party. Neither one is a bad decision.
One other option that wasn't mentioned (or that I missed) would be to take one of the token gifts that you would normally give to the kids from you and your husband and use it as the party gift. They won't notice one less gift from mom and dad on Christmas morning, your budget won't be spoiled, and your kids don't have to miss out on the party. | |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,060
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 12/4/2012 2:49:34 PM
This is absolutely true, but at the same time, your neighbors shouldn't have to change how they handle things to suit your budget and beliefs. If the majority of the neighbors want to have Santa give a gift, you will have to decide if you want to give in to that plan or skip the party. Neither one is a bad decision.
I fully was aware of this reality and was never expecting my neighbors to do it "my" way. I made a suggestion in the discussion for donations and no gifts, but when others weren't going with that idea, I agreed with someone else's suggestion for a $5 to $10 limit or just a book for each child. If they had decided they wanted to have a higher spending target, we were prepared to make other holiday themed plans (I also never mentioned our decision to not attend had the budget been larger.) The reason we don't just take one of the gifts Santa will be bringing for Christmas morning is because Santa brings only 2 gifts per child to our house and we didn't want to change that budgeted mount or leave the kids a gift short Christmas morning. If Santa was bringing ten thing on Christmas, it would have been no big deal to use one early and just have nine. But we try to keep gifts to a minimum not only for our financial purposes, but to keep our focus on what we feel is the important aspect of Christmas and not let Christ's birth become overshadowed by Santa and lots of toys. | |
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twinks
PeaNut
PeaNut 97,686
July 2003
Posts: 374
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/4/2012 5:33:50 PM
Santa arrives to our family Christmas party every year and brings a gift to each child. There is a wide range of economic states in our family alone. Personally, I have never seen the children feel badly about the gift they were given nor have I noticed any child's confusion over X getting a more expensive gift than Y. It has been my experience that my attitude effects that of my child. While my economic situation is certainly much lower than that of my brother's situation, the gift that I have purchased is still just as exciting and just as thrilling as any gift that my brother has purchased for his children. For example, when my DD was younger, I purchased a Christmas book for Santa to bring my DD. She and I always looked forward to reading it before we went to bed that night. As she has gotten older, there is always something that she needs that hasn't been purchased as a gift. Or something that she likes. Just yesterday, we were shopping at Trader Joe's and she handed me a box of Joe Joes and she said, "Wrap this up for Santa to bring me Christmas Eve." The comparison of my nephew receiving a replacment Nook last Christmas Eve never occurred to her. My cousin purchases his children their favorite box of sugary cold cereal. They rarely have a cold cereal breakfast. They have cold cereal every New Year's Day for breakfast. It is a great treat for them.
No, I don't think you are being a Scrooge. I understand where you are coming from economically and also wanting to respect your family traditions. However, this is not going to be your only opportunity to come face to face with this issue. How you handle it and what your attitude is will also be determining your children's attitude in the future. You have the opportunity to teach your children that everyone celebrates Christmas differently. Some children with get monetarily more expensive gifts, but, it really isn't that big of a deal. Different isn't right or wrong, it is just different. You also have the opportunity to possibly establish a new tradition. For example, Santa could bring your children a new book every year, whether they meet him at the Mall, at a festival or a neighborhood gathering. One book for the family to enjoy or 3 books. Look at the fun and the opportunity.
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*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)
PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
Posts: 68,031
Layouts: 236
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*
| Posted: 12/4/2012 8:54:26 PM
We go to a Christmas party each year at a friends house. We watch the boat parade and Santa comes.
Santa never brings gifts.
He reads a Christmas story like Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph then the kids all take turns sitting in his lap for photos and to tell him what they want.
He gives them all a big candy cane.
Gifts are not okay since it makes no sense as he beings them Christmas eve |
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