I'm in an exam rm at the doctor
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 12/3/2012 by Mariah2 in NSBR Board
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**Bran**
AncestralPea

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Posted: 12/3/2012 2:15:07 PM
It breaks your heart. It is horrible. Sometimes you cry with them.

I hate needles, not just hate, have some sort of phobia with them. I used to faint just talking about them, not even seeing them or getting a shot or blood draw so I do understand the panic. I still avoid looking at them because I do react so strongly if I see one. There is no needle trauma in my life, that's just the way I have always been, even as a little baby and toddler. I've had a code called on me before, fainted many times, quit breathing...I hate needles.

Different kids react differently. One of mine cries and one doesn't. They are treated exactly the same way. One has to be held down, one holds onto my hand to comfort me.

Some kids are different. We do not tolerate any kind of whining or funny business and my older dd will still cry. It is more a stress reaction than a pain reaction. She quits as soon as the shot is over. This is the girl that at three days old went and had both her feet cast, toes to hips. Then, for the next sixteen months, once a week, more casting. Some weeks we were extra lucky and had casts on Mondays and Fridays.

For sixteen! months she cried. I am not kidding you when I tell you that it took four or five adults to hold her down and cast her as a tiny four or five month old baby. I would cry the entire time. It was awful. Our doctor told us that most babies quit crying at the six to eight week point. The kids just give up and quit fighting because they know it will be over soon. Ours never did give up. We still have the same nurse and dr. and he still says he's never met a child like ours. It is amazing (and occasionally frustrating ) to be her mom now because she is so strong willed and so secure in herself.

I have another child who wasn't ever a crier or a screamer. She is always stoic and just wants to get things over with - don't talk about it, don't think about it, just get it done. When she was almost five we were waiting for her to get her port accessed and there was a new little girl getting hers done for the first time. The Child Life worker asked my child if she had any advice. She stuck her little hand up, like a stop sign, and as serious as I've ever seen her, tells the girl, "Don't.Move." That's her big advice for not getting hurt.



Brandi

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StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 12/3/2012 3:17:40 PM
My son is like that child. When he got his 5 year old shots he was screaming at the nurse "don't you do it!" over and over. The hard part is that is hurts more when they tense up like that. I'm sure it was unpleasant for other people in the office but what are you going to do. It took 2 nurses to hold him down. It is a terrible experience as a parent. I don't think I could have said anything to make him feel better.

When he broke his arm he was yelling at that nurse too, "don't you touch it". They couldn't really get a good xray to see what was wrong and the doctor said if he is in that much pain we're going to go ahead and put a cast on it. It was funny, as soon as they immobilized it, he was fine and happy.

My son is NOT a good patient needless to say. I should add that he has anxiety and is on the spectrum so I don't think that helps.




Jillsie Pea
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Posted: 12/3/2012 3:24:55 PM

Sorry for dropping the F-Bomb there ladies, but let's face it, some people are so obtuse and have NO sense of shame about their shitty shitty behavior, and that is all they really understand.




I hope you feel better!

Jillsie Pea
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Posted: 12/3/2012 3:24:56 PM

Sorry for dropping the F-Bomb there ladies, but let's face it, some people are so obtuse and have NO sense of shame about their shitty shitty behavior, and that is all they really understand.




I hope you feel better!

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 12/3/2012 3:26:58 PM
As a parent, it's the hardest thing to endure--to see or hear your child in pain!! One clear memory is of my DS who was then about 6 years old and we brought him to a pediatric gastroenterologist (he had megacolon) and they had to give him an enema. We waited in the next room (they didn't let us in) and he was SCREAMING, "You're killing me! I'm dying!!!!" and it took everything for me not to burst in there and just scoop him up but they told us it had to be done or he could have actually died. It broke my heart!!!!!!

My kids also had the needle-phobia (they got it from their mom!!), and they cried enough times, but when it's more serious, it's heart-breaking!









kaylaaimee
AncestralPea

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Posted: 12/3/2012 3:41:40 PM
I don't even know. I think you have some sort of switch that just turns on and allows you to do what you have to do. I've held her down more times than I care to think about.

I remember one time when S was in the hospital, a nurse was putting an IV in and her vein blew and she had me hold a tourniquet on it while she yelled out the door for help.

Scarlette is just splurting blood everywhere and I am holding that tourniquet so super calmly on my baby. And then when it was all over, I walked to the restroom and vomited.

It's like you enter parenthood and all of the sudden you get these new skills that let you cope with things like that. Plus, you're doing it for something that is for the child's benefit, even though THEY don't understand that, you do and that helps.



Hit me baby one more time: My Blog: Only Slightly Neurotic


Ginger21
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Posted: 12/3/2012 3:44:36 PM
I remember hearing unsettling screaming like that when I was in the OBGYN. It wasn't labor but I still wonder what on Earth would cause a woman to scream likes he was dying at a check up.

My worst as a mom was a community flu shot drive in the high school auditorium full of people. DS 7yo ran away through a row of empty seats screaming. I had to dump off my daughter with a friend and chase him. Once I had him two nurses ran up and stuck him with the shot before he knew what was going on. Afterwards he realized it wasn't that bad and doesn't freak as much. He has been approved for flu mist now. I am worried about taking him for his tetanus shot this year.

gmcwife1
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Posted: 12/3/2012 3:46:45 PM
I have one child that was eh, whatever for shots, one child that was a screamer and I had to wrap my arms and legs around her to hold her and one child that cried when her sister and dad got a flu shot and she didn't (she was too young).


~ Dori ~

SharlaG
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Posted: 12/3/2012 3:57:47 PM
I'm impressed with the small amount of sanctimonious responses on this thread!

And I'm sorry that you're hurting, Mariah.







--If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut.




melanell
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Posted: 12/3/2012 4:08:43 PM
I had the kid who *wasn't* getting the shot freak out once!

I had my 7 year old with me once when his infant brother was getting immunized and he just freaked out. I had to send him out into the hall.
(The door was open so I could see him.)

He was crying and saying he didn't want us to hurt his brother. Considering his age and that he darn well knew what was happening an why, I thought it was pretty ridiculous, but kids love to keep you on your toes, and I have made damn sure to never have him with me for one of his brother's well checks ever again.

The kid never carried on like that for *his* own shots.

Of course, the baby is a 2 year old "pest" now, so perhaps he wouldn't mind seeing him get a shot these days.

OSUBuckeyeFan
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Posted: 12/3/2012 5:18:25 PM
When I was 12, I pushed my arms through a glass storm door. Cut myself up pretty bad. Blood was squirting everywhere. My family, who was outside in our garage, heard me scream after the sound of the breaking glass and came rushing to me. After a few words from my father, my mom told him to shut up and call the ambulance(this was before 911).

She told my uncle to apply pressure above the cut on my left arm while she held pressure above the deepest cut on my right arm. I had been mm away from hitting the major artery in the right arm. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my uncle is very squeamish around blood but he did what he had to do as did my Mom and together, they saved my life!! The paramedics complimented my Mom on the great job she'd done stopping the bleeding.

Before they could stitch me up at the hospital, they had to scrub out the wounds with betadine. OMG! Did that hurt. I don't remember if I screamed or not, I don't think I did but if I did, I think it was justified. I don't even think they gave me any pain medicine. I guess my blood count was ok because I was sent home after being stitched up. All together I ended up with 96 stitches. Now, I've never broken a bone(knock on wood) but I've had my FAIR share of stitches.




Jadie
AncestralPea

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Posted: 12/3/2012 5:48:53 PM
Meh. I work in a children's hospital. Sometimes you just gotta hold them down and do it. To be perfectly honest, I have no problem with the parents who are willing to hold their kids for a procedure and get it over with. It is the ones that try to reason with a screaming 3 year old, therefore prolonging the agony for all involved, that drive me insane. Hold 'em down, get it done, give 'em a treat and hugs and kisses afterward.


"Why, yes! I *have* lost my mind! Thank you for asking!"
Vicki

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AncestralPea

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Posted: 12/3/2012 5:50:39 PM

It's like you enter parenthood and all of the sudden you get these new skills that let you cope with things like that. Plus, you're doing it for something that is for the child's benefit, even though THEY don't understand that, you do and that helps.


Mostly ^^that^^.

But sometimes that just gets overruled by your breaking heart and its all you can do to keep your crap together. And sometimes you lose the battle altogether.

Mariah, you have my empathies. That's a really difficult thing to listen to.


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moveablefeast
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Posted: 12/3/2012 5:54:59 PM
When I was 17, I was in Washington, DC. Crossing the street in Dupont Circle, I tripped over something on the curb which I did not see. It was a piece of rebar sticking up and I just totally didn't see it. In my open-toed shoes, naturally. So I cut up my foot all to hell. It still looks kind of awful to this day.

Anyway.

So I got taken to the George Washington University hospital ER. Sat there for a couple of hours waiting.

First a dude comes in with sores all over his face and arms and vomits on the floor, and they kick him out the door (in hindsight - drug addict - but I did not know that, I was 17 and naive as can be).

Then a woman comes in with a nonresponsive child drooping out of her arms, howling that they need to save her baby.

Third a man comes in with his arm missing. He is holding it in his other hand. Somehow he does not have the forethought to wrap the arm up in anything, he's just carrying it like it's a newspaper. Calm as can be.

I started to scream that I did not need stitches, I did not need them badly enough to be in this hell hole, and I did not give a shit how I was getting out of this city and home, but I was getting there right now, and if I had to walk 350 miles home on a bleeding foot with big chunks of skin and stuff hanging off it then that was just fine with me.



Totally did. More or less those words, probably with more ample profanity.

I remember it like it was a movie. I have absolutely no idea what came over me at that moment, but I was competely out of control. I was melting down worse than any kid you've ever seen at the doctor's office and I could not get it back together.

They promptly took me to a private room where they gave me something in an IV (my mom was there, she probably remembers what it was but I will tell you that I remember things in bits and pieces from then on), then stitched up my foot almost immediately, presumably in order to get the crazy person out of the ER. Since nobody else there that night was crazy.

PS I took out my own stitches that time.

cropduster
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Posted: 12/3/2012 5:57:05 PM
I was very fortunate in that my DS was always such a trooper. I remember when he had his shots at around 4 y.o., I believe. The doctor warned me that these would be nasty and to be prepared. So we were expecting the worse that he would start screaming after the first one. He didn't so much as flinch. The pediatrician was amazed.

Fast forward a decade and my DS cannot stand to have anything stuck in his mouth. It's a challenge when the hygienist cleans his back teeth.


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doesitmatter?
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Posted: 12/3/2012 6:49:43 PM
1 of my 4 child is that child. This kid is awful to take to the dr/dentist. The others are fine, this one not!


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enjoytotheend
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Posted: 12/3/2012 7:21:02 PM
Sounds like me when I got my shots for college.

jalapenette
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Posted: 12/3/2012 8:30:16 PM
I've been very lucky with my older DS, in that he has no fear of... anything. ok, that's not always good thing, but at the doctor it's a good thing.

At his two-year check up a couple weeks ago, he was literally climbing up onto the exam table himself once the check-up was over, asking for another one. lol. Didn't bat an eye at his shots. He never has made a big deal about it. When he was a baby he would cry for two seconds and then he was over it. So it was never a big deal, thank goodness.

He is so undramatic about things, one time at 18 months he fell down a flight of stairs (I was RIGHT THERE helping him, but still he slipped through my fingers and though I chased him on his way down I wasn't fast enough to intercept his fall. It was the scariest thing ever). He sniffled for about ten seconds and then went running right back to those darn stairs. That's when it was time to go home.


-Rachelle


*Mommy to Adam, born October 2010, and Tommy, July 2012*



IleneTell
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 12/3/2012 9:24:34 PM

Meh. I work in a children's hospital. Sometimes you just gotta hold them down and do it. To be perfectly honest, I have no problem with the parents who are willing to hold their kids for a procedure and get it over with. It is the ones that try to reason with a screaming 3 year old, therefore prolonging the agony for all involved, that drive me insane. Hold 'em down, get it done, give 'em a treat and hugs and kisses afterward.


ITA. I remember needing to get some pretty traumatic shots when I was about 7 or 8....I was a well-behaved, follow-directions kind of a kid, but still, you better believe my mom had to hold me down and there was NO reasoning with me about submitting tot hat willingly!

BTW Mariah, hope you're feeling better!

mamamulescraps
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Posted: 12/3/2012 9:27:44 PM
As a nurse I have taken care of some sick little ones. There are some things that I have had to do as a nurse that just break my heart. I have to remember that what I am doing will help them to heal and without the necessary treatments or medications I give, there is a possibility that a life could be cut short. It is hard for parents to hurt their children when the natural instinct is to protect aka Mama Bear!! I do try to not have the parent(s) hold because I want them to be the "hero" when the procedure is over. I don't want the child to associate the pain with the parent. I do offer comfort and most often before I leave the room the child has stopped crying or has even given me a smile. Sometimes it is the fear of the unknown!


~Amy~

_Betsy_
AncestralPea

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Posted: 12/3/2012 9:44:45 PM
It sucks.

My baby was 2 when she pulled a hot bowl of soup down off the counter, severely burning her upper arm. She is fine now, just to get that out of the way up front. But when it happened, she screamed herself to exhaustion, rocked in my husband's arms, him crying with her. For the next two weeks or so, she screamed over the bandages, if she could see them. She screamed if we took off her bright green, long-sleeved monkey shirt (thank goodness she had FOUR of them, it was the only shirt she could stand wearing). So, yes, doctor visits, and there were many, were torture. To the point that during the screaming one time, my oldest started singing "Twinkle, twinkle, little star" to soothe the baby and herself -- the ped had to leave the exam room she was tearing up so.

It's awful. You want, as a parent, to absorb their pain, to take it physically in your own body and not subject them to it, but you never get that choice. You can explain, you can comfort, you can hold them and cry with them if you have to, but you can't always prevent their physical pain.


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