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Posted 12/4/2012 by Mariah2 in NSBR Board

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PeaNut 14,100
April 2001
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:32:56 PM
I'm in the camp that if they walked there just fine, they could walk home.


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PeaNut 53,584
October 2002
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:33:44 PM
The mom should look bad. It was after 8 pm so it was dark and the weather was below freezing. The mother had a poor excuse as to why she couldn't pick them up.

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PeaNut 270,034
July 2006
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:35:36 PM
Or maybe she was like some of the moms we see here that are sick and tired of their kid forgetting or refusing their jacket, or the kids always waiting until the last minute to call, or just not listening and considering others in general.

Maybe this was her "You know what, that's IT, here are your consequences."

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PeaNut 471,001
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:37:01 PM
I don't necessarily see it as the librarians "policing the outerwear of patrons".

The librarians are adults, the patrons were kids, the librarians were reporting what they saw as neglect of a child to the proper authorities.

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PeaNut 471,001
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:39:39 PM

I thought that, too. I could see this being a "natural consequences" situation. And I would be ok with that, but I think the excuse the mom actually gave was stupid.

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PeaNut 90,802
June 2003
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:40:02 PM

The mom should look bad. It was after 8 pm so it was dark and the weather was below freezing. The mother had a poor excuse as to why she couldn't pick them up.

I read the article - it was after 6:15 pm, NOT 8pm.

I'm sorry - but if my 15 & 12 year old went to the library without coats on, then they can dang well walk their butts home without coats on too.

It is not the library's job to decide if my kids can walk home or not. My two girls (17 & 15) walk to the WalMart around the corner from us - probably a good 15 minute walk. I'll be damned if I'm going to go pick them up because they are too lazy to walk home, or didn't dress appropriately for their walk. They are not toddlers, they are teenagers who should know better!


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PeaNut 54,671
November 2002
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:40:47 PM
The kids were 15 and 12, and lived close enough to have walked TO the library. They chose not to wear coats; my kids usually make the same choice. I have no problem with the mom's decision.


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PeaNut 53,584
October 2002
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:40:51 PM
I think once the police called me that would have been my cue to pick them up.....if I weren't willing to do so beforehand

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PeaNut 228,820
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:45:28 PM
I'm an overprotective mom and librarian, and even I think it's ridiculous that the library staff wouldn't let them leave and called the police.

It wasn't even 7pm and 30 degrees at night according to that article, they walked there and they were 15 and 12! Depending on the state, that 15yo is even old enough to drive.

Some serious helicoptering going on here.

I can't tell you how often my 14 yo leaves the house without a jacket and we live in a cold climate.

Now if I was the mom and the police called me? Yes, I would come. I wouldn't tell the police no. That is strange.


PeaNut 101,443
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:45:37 PM

It was after 8 pm so it was dark and the weather was below freezing.

The article said it was only 6:18. True, it's still dark by then, but not as late. I also think if the kids walked there without a coat, they could walk home without one. They are old enough to know it's winter and it's cold out. I also agree that the mom didn't have a good excuse for not picking them up, but if by chance these kids have refused to wear a coat before, I can understand why she chose not to get them this time. If the kids don't even have a coat, then everything changes.

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PeaNut 156,993
July 2004
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:49:14 PM
I know very few kids who wear winter coats. They all wear hoodies now, if that.

I think the library overstepped.


PeaNut 508,279
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:50:05 PM
If they didn't have coats to wear then I'd be concerned. Otherwise I'd want more info before I decided my reaction

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PeaNut 52,817
October 2002
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:51:57 PM
I think it is ridiculous the librarians called the police.

I am filling in blanks here, but to me it sounds like the kids wanted to go to the library and the mom said she wouldn't be available to pick them up because she had plans with grandma. Then they, kids who are MORE than old enough to know they need to wear coats, decide they are going to go anyway and not wear coats. Mom is unsympathetic because they were already warned.

I could absolutely see that scenario happening. Though when the cops call, I think you go get the kids.

FTR, I drive past kids that age daily, walking to school in the cold and rain and I'd say way less than half wear coats. Half the girls are wearing tank tops and miniskirts too.

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PeaNut 110,589
October 2003
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:56:04 PM
There is a lot more going on than what is being reported IMHO.

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PeaNut 114,407
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Posted: 12/4/2012 4:57:45 PM
I might suggest outerwear but my rule with my own kids is that if by your teens you are not aware that you are cold or may be cold in cold weather and choose not to wear the warm items provided, then I can't help you.

Based only what I read here, I think the library meant well, but over reacted.


PeaNut 262,248
May 2006
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Posted: 12/4/2012 5:03:36 PM
For those that want more information here is the weather, by the hour. And it was the same all day long. The police responded at 6:15, about an hour after sun down.

Yep, this is mom saying, you got there, you get home. Besides we don't even know how far they lived from the library. I grew up 4 blocks from the library and went without a coat even when I should have had one on all the time.


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PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
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Posted: 12/4/2012 5:03:45 PM
I'd tell my kids to suck it up and walk home. It didn't say how far they lived from the library, but if they walked there, they could walk home. If they were too stupid to put coats on before they left home, then I'll make them hot chocolate when they get home...along with a lecture on dressing correctly for the weather!

The mom wasn't at home when she was called, she was at her mom's house, helping her decorate her tree, in a different town. I don't know the area so I don't know whether that town was 2 miles away, or 20, but I'd be PO'ed if I had to go drop everything and go pick them up...although id the police had called, common sense tells you to go get them and make them go to grandma's house to finish the tree.


PeaNut 51,887
October 2002
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Posted: 12/4/2012 5:05:04 PM
Let me start off by saying that I agree with the arguments in favor of the mom and letting the kids experience the consequences of their actions and all, but.....
from the librarians point of view: if you knew that those kids were not going to be picked up but you left and something "did" happen to them as a result, how would you feel? Knowing that you did nothing to "help" them. Its a clear case of letting the proper authorities deal with the matter. We get told this all the time at work (which is a library) when we see situations with kids that we may think to be unwise. The police station is two doors down. We are supposed to report and let them handle things like that. I don't think anyone where I work would have felt ok with just locking up and knowingly leaving two minors outside the building unattended like that, irregardless of the weather.


PeaNut 285,775
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Posted: 12/4/2012 5:09:33 PM
If I was the Mom I would be angry for sure with the kids. They probably had heard their mom tell them to wear a coat etc a million times. They are probably like most teen boys...they wear a hoodie ALL THE TIME.
If they lived close enough to walk there they are close enough to walk home..UNLESS the weather is bad. 30 degrees is cold..but not that cold. In MI that is not cold. People are out running etc in 30 degrees.
The librarians over stepped on this one . The Police over stepped.
The Mom probably was a farish drive from the library so by the time she drove over there they could have walked home.
The only thing is the darkness...I myself would not want my kids walking in the dark. But I live in the country so there is not a lot of light at that time here. I wonder what she was written up for...


PeaNut 142,661
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Posted: 12/4/2012 5:11:13 PM
In our house our rule for coats, hats, mittens, etc. is you can wear whatever you want as long as it doesn't affect mom and/or dad. You don't want to wear a coat, fine, but I'm not altering my plans to accommodate you being cold.

Both dds have coats, hats, mittens, gloves, and boots all that they picked out.

So, if dd decided to walk to the library without a coat and then expect me to come and pick her up because it's cold outside? She will have to wait until it is convenient for me (granted I probably would time it so she only stood outside for a few minutes, but enough to learn).


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PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
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Posted: 12/4/2012 5:12:29 PM
My kids wear their sports shorts to school all year round, even in winter. It drives my MIL nuts! I am sure she thinks I am a bad mother because I don't make my kids wear long track pants. But I figure at the ages of 8 and 14 they are able to decide whether they want to wear shorts. If they are cold enough they will put on their track pants. If they wear shorts and get cold, too bad so sad, next time wear your darn track pants!

I think the librarian overstepped here. But if the police called me you can bet your @$$ I would be there to pick them up immediately!

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PeaNut 114,407
November 2003
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:49:17 PM
Good point on liability re: library/librarians.

It's easy to say the kids should have toughed it out but maybe the librarian feared being held liable - or publicly flogged - if something happened and he/she was cast as the uncaring soul that pushed shivering children out into the dark.

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PeaNut 133,429
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:21:43 PM

In that mom's shoes, I would have told the girls to walk home too. But, I would have never refused the policeman's request.

That said, the librarian way overstepped bounds. She needed to mind her own business.

You know those girls were being overly dramatic and poor me. The librarian fell for it hook, line & sinker. Had she ignored them, they would have walked home on their own. There is no way the two of them would have continued to stand outside the library. They would have been on their way the minute the librarian was out of sight.

If every person who has any contact with a teen decided to call the police because the kid was not wearing a coat, law enforcement is not going to have time to respond to any other calls.

We have bought our son a warm winter coat every year of his life. When he hit middle school, we were just throwing money down the drain, as he would never wear it. Instead, he wore the tween/teen uniform of the hoodie when it's cold out.

Better to stand outside & freeze and look cool.

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PeaNut 29,331
February 2002
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:25:54 PM
I quit policing what my little darlings wore for warmth when they were in about the 5th grade. They are old enough to get cold a few times and learn to make a better decision. The librarian was kind of in a no win situation though.

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