Are you "real" on a message board???

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Posted 12/4/2012 by shannoninkc in NSBR Board
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PeaNut 304,038
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:34:59 PM
I have to admit, part of the allure of this board is my fascination with human behavior. After reading the "banning" thread, and reading the comments that some say one poster must be like this in real life vs she is pretending....has me thinking.

I pretty much don't say things, or behave differently online than I do in real life. I guess if there is a real difference, I probably wouldn't engage random strangers in stupid arguments in real life as much as I would online..but that is the nature of the beast.

So, I curse on here, cause I curse in real life. I like to defend the underdog cause I like to do that in real life....I pretty much have the same personality I think. Especially a place like this where I know I may be coming back and engaging with the same people.

Other than trolls, do you really think people act vastly different here than in real life? I'm talking about people that have been around and actively participate day after day....I don't want to think I'm naive, but I guess I have a hard time believing if someone is hateful on a message board, they are probably hateful in real life.



PeaNut 539,539
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:46:10 PM
I'm a little more quick to share my opinion online than I am in person because I'm not really worried about how people react online. I'm not hateful or purposely mean but I am more willing to tell it like it is.

In person I tend to bite my tongue more depending on the audience.

Carolina dorkburger

PeaNut 233,457
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:46:43 PM
As Popeye says, "I yam what I yam."



PeaNut 379,678
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:48:37 PM
I'm boring on-line. I'm pretty boring IRL, too.

journey fan
"Don't Stop Believin'"

PeaNut 308,186
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:49:05 PM
I'm much funnier in real life. But I'm skinnier here.


PeaNut 304,038
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:50:20 PM

Yeah....true...I think I'm the same real life, I would never begin to argue that not liking (Insert dumb thing here) is silly, or whatever. I wouldn't waste my time so to speak. Of course, how often do you have conversations about say, crock pots, with a roomful of in that instance, I guess I am different.


PeaNut 304,038
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:51:51 PM
journey...bwahahahah. That was cute.

People tend to say I'm funny in real life, and I'm a real people person, so I try and be that on here. I get all excited when someone quotes me and says I'm funny.

Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy

PeaNut 178,445
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:53:41 PM
What you see is what you get.


"I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me!"


PeaNut 376,370
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Posted: 12/4/2012 6:57:23 PM
I am real because I don't know how else to be. I am a simple person. What you see is what you get.

The dominant personalities on this board feel like characters and I am amused by them for the most part. Sometimes irritating. When that happens I just change the channel so to speak. There are some lovely women on here that I think are real. There are people that make me laugh, cry, smile and worry about. I pray for some of you everyday.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I think the nice ones are real and the mean ones I like to think of as characters on a TV show. I guess by thinking this way I don't get offended and it stays fun.


PeaNut 273,938
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:00:18 PM
Written conversations are so vastly different than verbal face-to-face ones, that our online personas by definition are not the same as who we are IRL even though we're being honest with our opinions, etc.


PeaNut 116,261
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:04:19 PM
I am the same IRL. I don't share a ton of personal things, because I don't like putting a lot "out there". But when I answer, I'm being honest.


May we be consumed with the Creator of all things rather than with things created.

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Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.


PeaNut 55,741
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:06:19 PM
I agree with you wholeheartedly, Shannon. And I feel like the majority of people who post here on a regular basis are representing themselves pretty accurately. There would be far better places to go play if you just wanted to eff with people online.

How about you, Lash LaRue?

PeaNut 51,689
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:06:37 PM
I'm very non-confrontational IRL, so that probably explains why I tend to steer clear of most of the drama here, like the banning threads. However sometimes I am a bit more direct here than I am IRL. I don't think I say anything too nasty, at least I hope not. But I am a wee bit braver here, hiding behind my keyboard LOL!

I'm much funnier in real life. But I'm skinnier here.


Miss Lerins Momma
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 151,660
June 2004
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:08:20 PM
I think I'm pretty real. My opinions don't differ whether I say it outloud or type it out. The peas have seen my good side and my bad side, but that's just how I am.

Trolls *heart* me!!


PeaNut 49,075
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:09:36 PM

I am way more outgoing and out spoken in real life.

There are times when I would post a story or opinion, but then I reconsider. I don't really want to put too much of my life out there on the Internet. I admire the ladies that post so much on this board...good or bad. It puts their life and children out there for all to see and criticize. It's something that keeps this board interesting and fun... I am just too chicken to do that!

Why, YES!, I am a princess.

PeaNut 417,049
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:12:10 PM
I'm a little more polite on the board. IRL I'm very blunt.

I'm lots of fun though!


PeaNut 113,955
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:12:18 PM
I have a dry sense of humor and can be very sarcastic, neither of which read well if you don't know the person writing so I steer away from responses like that. I am also more concise online.


PeaNut 570,639
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:12:34 PM
I like to think I'm funnier IRL too. I'd never be able to keep track of a made up online persona.

This thread topic reminds me of that Brad Paisley song about the internet.

People not perfection

PeaNut 35,457
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:13:37 PM
Same person IRL and at the pod. I am more careful with what I say on here because it is on a message board and people can't hear tone and things often get lost in translation.

Pea, Glorious Pea

PeaNut 43,536
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:13:46 PM
I do share my opinion a little more online than I would IRL, but my opinions are the same online or IRL. I have never posted anything here or anywhere on the net that is not true with the only exception of the month of my bday or my phone number so I can't be as easily found in searches.

"Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances." Proverbs 11:14
"Don't let your suitcase full of cheese be your fork and spoon." -Marie Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond
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PeaNut 122,031
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:15:57 PM
I am me, both on here and irl. I am a very private person and don't share much with even people I know irl.

Auntie to Devan & Brennan


PeaNut 100,376
August 2003
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:22:21 PM
Hm. I'm pretty quiet and lurk alot on here... but you couldn't get me to shut up IRL. LOL!



PeaNut 115,093
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:32:19 PM
I think I'm pretty different online here than I am IRL. I'm loud and bossy and opinionated IRL and here I tend to read and "listen" but as you can tell by my post count VS how long I've been here I don't speak up too much.

I very rarely post if the what I would have said has already been posted.

Thrift Whisperer

PeaNut 114,407
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:44:27 PM
Same old same old here, there, and everywhere.


PeaNut 176,471
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:46:15 PM
I'm not over here often other than to lurk, but I'm pretty much exactly as I am IRL. The ONLY difference is I'll keep quiet about an opinion if I have to deal with that person's opinion of me on a regular basis. Like, say the wives of DH's co-workers. We've nothing in common, we'd probably have interesting arguments online if we didn't have to deal with each other, but we do. We have to make nice at company parties. I'm more how I am with DH's parents. That doesn't mean I'll LIE, but I certainly won't be confrontational or "tell it like it is" as I usually do.

But, in general, my IRL personality is completely based upon online interactions because I'm home more often than not, being disabled and unable to work, the most I get out is to the movies with DH. If I'm a bitch online, I would have been IRL too. If I'm whining, or annoying, or whatever, I'd do the same thing IRL. In general I'm easy-going in both places, and more often than not, I'm joking/being facetious, it's just hard to read that way vs when I speak out loud. I'm never intentionally mean, no matter where I am, though sometimes things get read that way online. Mostly I just don't have a filter, wherever I am.

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PeaNut 285,775
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:47:09 PM
I am pretty much the same here. I have a dry somewhat sarcastic sense of humor. It would be hard for it to come across the right way in writing. I am quiet IRL. I tend to keep my thoughts to myself. I might express them here a little more freely. IRL I tend to be thinking something sarcastic if I am upset but never say it.

I tend to steer clear of the banning threads. Like in IRL I don't feed the animals.

As far as banning anyone in the Pod...they always cockroaches.

Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.

PeaNut 416,788
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:48:08 PM
I'm completely imaginary.

Or so I've been told.

If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.


PeaNut 439,654
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:56:31 PM
I'm pretty much me but then I use the same username or a variation of it on all crafting sites including my blog so I can't really hide.

I participated on a message board - non crafting - years ago where I had a completely different name and no one knew who I was. We had a bully on the board and she could really get under my skin. We could get into arguments over the dumbest things. Finally I just quit cold and was happier to be away from that environment

Visit me at my blog
My YouTube Videos LisaEDesign


PeaNut 142,266
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:57:42 PM
I think I am pretty much the same in real life as I am on here.

As others have said, I definitely think I'm funnier in real life than I am on this board. (I hope the Houston peas would agree). I also think I sound a little formal and stiff when I write. I'm not that way in real life. I think I've done so much legal writing the last twenty years, my writing style has become overly formal.


back to *pea*ality

PeaNut 471,633
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Posted: 12/4/2012 7:57:47 PM
I think I am real here.

Maybe sometimes a the typed word is more abrasive than if it were spoken. I think if I am wrong I admit it and if I owe someone an apology I will offer it.

I probably give my opinion here more freely because this is the place for it.

Best Cat Evahhh!

PeaNut 18,741
July 2001
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:01:13 PM
I believe I pretty much portray myself as I am in "real life". I do temper things at times and sometimes avoid certain subjects all together. In my head, I'm a raving lunatic as I read some threads, but after 11 years I've learned to sit on my hands. A lot. In real life, I bite my tongue instead.


Old Dogs are Best!

PeaNut 92,987
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:10:35 PM
I may appear skinnier and sound more mature (*) on message boards WYSIWYG

*(I can type Latin and Greek don't ask me to speak)

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PeaNut 15,409
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:11:47 PM
Other than being more of a smart aleck in real life, I am who I am in person as I am in real life. Back in the first days of online message boards I quickly saw now sarcasm can be misconstrued when written, so I steer clear if it. Oh, in real life I'm more opinionated too



PeaNut 511,446
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:14:01 PM
I'm a little more blunt here behind my computer, whereas I would bite my tongue IRL. But I've been known to be blunt IRL at times too.

Ms. GreenGenes

PeaNut 140,500
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:14:53 PM
I'm me, no question, but I approach things a little differently here. I speak up sometimes where i wouldn't IRL, because that's what we all do here. I think we discuss the odd minutiae of life that doesn't get discussed IRL. Other times, I shut my mouth where IRL I'd feel more free to share (ie, political threads).

Outside of that, what you see (read?) is what you get.

~ Tracey
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Thrift Ninja

PeaNut 226,011
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:32:06 PM

I am real because I don't know how else to be.


Written conversations are so vastly different than verbal face-to-face ones, that our online personas by definition are not the same as who we are IRL even though we're being honest with our opinions, etc.

People always tell me I'm exactly the same. I get, "You speak just how you type!" all the time.

Old Pea Coven member wannabe

PeaNut 36,163
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:32:13 PM
I'm the same here as IRL, I think.

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PeaNut 307,816
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:32:54 PM
At first when I read the OP, I immediately thought how different I am here on NSBR than IRL. I tend to bite my tongue, lurk, observe, and rarely chime in on controversial topics. I have had my hand slapped a few times here, and one thread a year or so ago, a whole bunch of Peas said something I wrote was the stupidest, most ignorant thing they had ever read here. So, I pretty much shut up after that. So, my thinking was that I'm much more thin-skinned and sensitive here, and more thick skinned and outspoken in real life. But you know, I think my 2Ps personality is really how I am. Thin skinned and sensitive! (But on the Digital boards, I'm very chatty and outspoken. Just goes to show I have a split personality!)

cori in wa

PeaNut 183,307
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:35:58 PM
I am simply not complex (sophisticated?) enough to be two different people.

What you see (read) is what you get.

Ideay pues?

PeaNut 143,106
April 2004
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:54:47 PM
The only thing about me on this message board that is not real is my sign on name. Everything else is real....well, except that I think sarcasm doesn't translate well online.

Ideay pues?

PeaNut 143,106
April 2004
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Posted: 12/4/2012 8:54:49 PM
The only thing about me on this message board that is not real is my sign on name. Everything else is real....well, except that I think sarcasm doesn't translate well online.


PeaNut 300,909
March 2007
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Posted: 12/4/2012 9:01:29 PM
There are things I would never put online.
I'm taller and not as funny here. But that's life.

Living life on the left

PeaNut 69,081
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Posted: 12/4/2012 9:04:56 PM
I think I'm a whole lot nicer in real life, but I say more what I really think on the message board.

I am probably less real in real life, basically.

My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
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PeaNut 170,344
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Posted: 12/4/2012 9:07:29 PM
I'm a lot more guarded here than I used to be. Some of that is personal growth, some is medication and some of it is "lesson learned".

I type out way more posts than I submit. My grammar is horrid, I'm not an expert on anything and if I do say something moronic, I don't want to be reminded of it for the next six years.

"backspace" is my new best friend.

Slow Poke Pea

PeaNut 857
June 1999
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Loc: Central Florida

Posted: 12/4/2012 9:13:06 PM
I don't think my real personality comes through on the board.

Some people come across as warm and genuine online, and I think I come across a little more reserved and cautious than I really am.

While I don't have a fake persona online, I don't feel like the "real me" comes through. In real-life, I think I do a better job of expressing my thoughts and opinions.


Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 359,333
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Posted: 12/4/2012 9:28:16 PM
I am definitely 100% real. Probably sometimes too much. But it is what it is. I am grateful for the peas and many have gotten me through some pretty difficult times.


PeaNut 463,630
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Posted: 12/4/2012 9:35:18 PM
I am very reserved in real life, unless I really know someone. I would never offer my real opinion on politics, crock pots or Toddlers and Tiaras, unless I knew already the opinions of the people around me. Online, I'm more real!

It has come to sort of bug me lately, that I am such a duplicitous person. not out of malice (I'm not trying to lure people to like me so I can screw with them or anything) but because I grow tired of being burned for my real opinions and belief. I suppose being a veteran, military wife, home schooling mom, yet also an atheist, socialist (who votes democrat for pragmatisms sakes) and total hippy, means I don't quite fit with my peer group in social situations. It's just easier to not offer my opinion and murmur vague things when others offer theirs- you'd be surprised at the widely varied people who all think I think just like them! But it keeps the peace at my childrens activities and family functions, work functions and social gatherings.I'm a very "live and let live" kind of a gal, I can be friends with my polar opposite- unfortunately, they usually can't be friends with me if they know I'm their opposite!

So yes, I am real online, if no where else.


PeaNut 508,279
May 2011
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Posted: 12/4/2012 9:35:45 PM
I'm a little more intelligent in real life. I have a hard time reading the longer, more involved posts (like the Fiscal Cliff one) on the screen and then forming and typing out my thoughts into a response.

Wannabe FNPea!

PeaNut 82,318
April 2003
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Loc: In my garden

Posted: 12/4/2012 9:37:30 PM
No, it is two such different situations.

2 Headed Tasmanian Pea

PeaNut 106,860
September 2003
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Loc: The Apple Isle

Posted: 12/4/2012 9:46:44 PM

I have a dry sense of humor and can be very sarcastic, neither of which read well if you don't know the person writing so I steer away from responses like that.

I am exactly the same.... in fact there is one response on this post already that I am simply gagging myself not to type a sarcastic reply to.

I have never really made any "connections" with anyone on this board. I sometimes wonder if that is because I don't let that dry/sarcastic side show too much due to my non confrontational self being a woossie.

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