Wife gave baby up for adoption without permission of husband... who should raise the baby now?
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 12/5/2012 by mapchic in NSBR Board
< 1 2 3 4 >
 

mapchic
Top Tier Pea

PeaNut 31,157
February 2002
Posts: 12,607
Layouts: 55
Loc: Chicagoland

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:29:27 PM
There is seriously something mentally wrong with the adoptive parents. Every quote from them (or their blog) is just so self centered.


Kristi Freis told the court that although they knew Achane wanted his child, she and her husband felt they had no obligation to return the baby.


Who does that? Who says in court that of course I know the father wanted the baby, but I thought it was a-ok for me to keep her. And then is surprised when the judge finds for the father?




"When someone asks you 'think about what Jesus would do', remember that a valid option is to freak out and turn over tables" -- Unknown

“I am a Roman Catholic - the one true faith, (the Microsoft of Christianity) and I know Roman Catholicism is the one true faith because Roman Catholicism tells me it’s the one true faith... And if you remember from earlier in this sentence Roman Catholicism is the one true faith – so how could it be wrong?” ~ Stephen Colbert ‘The Word’ 11-28-06

Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit

Mary Mary
NOT IN UTAH

PeaNut 140,474
April 2004
Posts: 35,004
Layouts: 13
Loc: Pemberley

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:32:34 PM
That baby needs to go back to her father.


Mary

thatgirlintexas
Get off my lawn!

PeaNut 43,787
July 2002
Posts: 8,888
Layouts: 255
Loc: the world wide web

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:32:37 PM

Who does that? Who says in court that of course I know the father wanted the baby, but I thought it was a-ok for me to keep her. And then is surprised when the judge finds for the father?


Delusional people who think it's their God given right to have the child.


Sara

We don't just embrace INSANITY here. We feel it up, french kiss it and buy it a drink.

my goodreads profile my pinterest profile




Seanna.
PeaFixture

PeaNut 142,904
April 2004
Posts: 3,739
Layouts: 20
Loc: TN

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:35:02 PM
Well, the story has gone national in the last few hours, so the adoptive parents are about to get a whole lot of opinions real soon. Jerks.


When I went to edit my signature, the "Edit Signature" title was spelled wrong. So that was distracting and I forgot what I wanted my new signature to be.

mapchic
Top Tier Pea

PeaNut 31,157
February 2002
Posts: 12,607
Layouts: 55
Loc: Chicagoland

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:39:28 PM
It seems like the father is reasonable and hoping that the adoptive family will work with him to make the transition as smooth as possible.

The Army drill instructor whose daughter was adopted without his knowledge is "elated" now that a judge has ordered her return, and he hopes to meet soon with the family that has been raising the toddler, the man’s attorney told FoxNews.com.

****
"He's completely elated at the judge's ruling," attorney Mark Wiser told FoxNews.com. "He felt the judge could not rule any other way."

Achane now hopes the girl's adoptive parents, Jared and Kristi Frei, will visit him in South Carolina to make the girl's transition as easy as possible. McDade has given the couple 60 days to return the child, Wiser said.

****
"It is our hope that the child will be returned to the father at that time and he'll take her back to South Carolina," he said. "He is willing and has made offers to the adoptive family to go to South Carolina. He's looking for their support. They can be part of the solution or they can be part of the problem."

source emphasis mine

If the adoptive parents refuse to work with the father now, then it is clear that the adoptive parents interest was never the best interest of the baby girl, it was just themselves.




"When someone asks you 'think about what Jesus would do', remember that a valid option is to freak out and turn over tables" -- Unknown

“I am a Roman Catholic - the one true faith, (the Microsoft of Christianity) and I know Roman Catholicism is the one true faith because Roman Catholicism tells me it’s the one true faith... And if you remember from earlier in this sentence Roman Catholicism is the one true faith – so how could it be wrong?” ~ Stephen Colbert ‘The Word’ 11-28-06

Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit

snugglebutter
dedicated chocoholic

PeaNut 55,649
November 2002
Posts: 7,141
Layouts: 3
Loc: TX

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:41:29 PM
This baby girl should have been returned to her father immediately. End of story.





Sara


Seanna.
PeaFixture

PeaNut 142,904
April 2004
Posts: 3,739
Layouts: 20
Loc: TN

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:46:18 PM

The Law Offices of Wiser and Wiser
2825 E. Cottonwood Pkwy. Suite 500
Salt Lake City, Utah 84121
Tel: 801-990-1230
Fax: 801-880-7070

That is the info for Terry Achane's attorneys, if anyone is interested in supporting his legal fight. There is a FB page set up called Support Terry Achane. The info is posted there.

Support Terry Achane


When I went to edit my signature, the "Edit Signature" title was spelled wrong. So that was distracting and I forgot what I wanted my new signature to be.

dottyscrapper
PeaAddict

PeaNut 311,985
April 2007
Posts: 1,866
Layouts: 0
Loc: UK

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:53:56 PM

I wondered if they had done fundraising in connection with this adoption, and sure enough


There's a donation link on their blog that was linked in an earlier post with a target of $50,000 as they are going to appeal so it seems.

scrappower
Allons-y Alonso

PeaNut 174,150
October 2004
Posts: 15,329
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:55:59 PM
Yup, they have posted that they plan to appeal under the update section on their blog, so they are going to drag this out even longer. How wonderful for that poor father and his daughter.



ChattyKat
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 43,570
July 2002
Posts: 2,079
Layouts: 4
Loc: Oregon

Posted: 12/5/2012 4:59:41 PM
I read about this case yesterday and I hope that little girl is returned to her father IMMEDIATELY!!! His daughter was basically stolen from him and I don't feel sorry for the family who has her now. They KNEW 3 months after she was born that the bio father wasn't going to give up his parental rights. They told the attorney to proceed with the adoption anyways and have been fighting in court ever since to have his parental rights terminated in the court system. So they are the ones who will be causing any hurt to this child and to their other 5 children.

Their blog seriously disgusts me. Begging for money for attorney fees to keep fighting for this girl, using religion as "justification" for their fight, all the negative crap about the bio father, etc. If it was me I wouldn't be sending any gifts, asking for pictures, asking when she teethed either. Just give me my daughter back. He missed all those milestones because of their selfishness.

They want to keep her through the appeal process which could be another 6-8 months. I hope now that this case has made National attention the judge will rule in January she must be turned over to her father immediately. I don't care how shady the Utah family court system is there is no way that they are going to keep her in the end. They can fight all they want and spend all the money they want but he is her biological father and has wanted her from day one.

I hope legal action is taken against this adoption agency. As soon as the bio father contacted them they should have advised their clients the adoption couldn't be finalized and to give her back. Utah needs to change their adoption laws and stop stealing children away from bio fathers who actually want to raise them. I can't believe Baby Emma still has not been returned to her father. Someday she is going to grow up and find out she was kept from a father who wanted her. Every month and year that passes is harder and harder on the child, so sad...



*Kathie

IScrapCrap
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 570,639
October 2012
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 0
Loc: pea formerly known as GIPfunny

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:03:40 PM

You don't know that because I have not done so. Because I don't hold any disgust with the LDS church. Please do not misrepresent my position like that.


I didn't mean it in a negative way. I remember the thread where LDS missionaries touched an alter in a Catholic church and did a couple of other things. You were mad the missionaries didn't know better and it was something they were not taught. You had every right to be disgusted. Just like other people are disgusted with abuse cover up in the Catholic church.

I was hoping you didn't think the families blog showed the mindset of what all LDS members believe. I guess being a member, the language of the blog led me to believe they were members. It is also very common for LDS members to adopt bi-racial children even through LDS adoption services. Another clue they were probably Mormon. I could be wrong.

*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)

PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
Posts: 78,283
Layouts: 236
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:09:10 PM
The father should raise her. I can't think of any reason why he shouldn't.
The judge was very nice to the family giving them 60 days. Although I think she should have Vern turned over within a day


Bethie
proud Fiskateer #269
{My Blog}
*My Scraproom*
Uploaded with iPhone client

Legacy Girl
PeaFixture

PeaNut 299,733
February 2007
Posts: 3,722
Layouts: 5

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:09:26 PM
This is the very reason my state has a putative father registry in place. Engaging in sex with a woman puts the man "on notice" that the woman *could* be pregnant. If he is interested in parenting that child, he must register with the putative father registry. By law, before the adoption is finalized, the attorneys, courts, etc. MUST check the registry to see if a father is registered for that child. He has 30 days after the birth of the child to register, and if he does not, the baby is free for adoption and he no longer has any legal claim to the child.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Constance
UUPea

PeaNut 2,056
December 1999
Posts: 9,975
Layouts: 2

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:15:02 PM

You don't know that because I have not done so. Because I don't hold any disgust with the LDS church. Please do not misrepresent my position like that.

Nothing I have read has specified if these adoptive parents are LDS. Just because they live in Utah doesn't make that an automatic assumption. Only 58% of Utah is LDS... they could be a different religion.

Regardless of denomination I find the fact that they are cloaking their selfishness with claims of it being the will of God disturbing.


That is such bullshit, Mapchic. I knew the minute I saw you start this thread that somehow it would end up with some kind of Mormon angle. First you served it up to get everybody outraged at the situation (justifiably), and then you let somebody else come in for the kill and disparage the LDS faith. If you started threads all the time on stuff in the news, I would think differently. But you don't. You start threads with a not-so-carefully-hidden agenda of bashing something. In this instance (as is often the case), it's the Mormons. You can't deny that you have huge issues with the LDS faith and seem to get your jollies out of pointing out the errors of their ways. The least you could do is be honest about it. But, no. That's not your style, is it?

recap.pea
AncestralPea

PeaNut 288,074
December 2006
Posts: 4,316
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:22:48 PM
Wow! That is such a sad situation but I think the father should get the baby...He loves her, he wanted her and he had no say so in the mom's decision. He would have never had consented to put her up for adoption.

So...I really feel like his daughter should be returned to him but my heart goes out to the adoptive family. They love the baby too and it is their baby too. So sad all around.

asr70
PeaAddict

PeaNut 508,279
May 2011
Posts: 1,047
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:26:13 PM
I wonder, now that it has gone to national news, if any of the people who donated to the family's cause might feel they donated to a misrepresented cause, now that there is opportunity to see his side, that he didnt abandon her?




scrappower
Allons-y Alonso

PeaNut 174,150
October 2004
Posts: 15,329
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:29:21 PM

So...I really feel like his daughter should be returned to him but my heart goes out to the adoptive family. They love the baby too and it is their baby too.


Please read the second article, the adoptive family knew that the father wasn't informed about this adoption and still went through with it. They are just as much to blame.



mapchic
Top Tier Pea

PeaNut 31,157
February 2002
Posts: 12,607
Layouts: 55
Loc: Chicagoland

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:30:29 PM

This is the very reason my state has a putative father registry in place. Engaging in sex with a woman puts the man "on notice" that the woman *could* be pregnant. If he is interested in parenting that child, he must register with the putative father registry. By law, before the adoption is finalized, the attorneys, courts, etc. MUST check the registry to see if a father is registered for that child. He has 30 days after the birth of the child to register, and if he does not, the baby is free for adoption and he no longer has any legal claim to the child.
I wonder how that would work when the mother goes to another state (such as Utah) to have the baby.

I do wonder... has this been covered more or differently in Utah? Is this story just commonplace there so it's no big deal? I know that sometimes stories like this are covered more in detail in the local area, or sometimes they are completely ignored (at least that's the case here in Chicago).




"When someone asks you 'think about what Jesus would do', remember that a valid option is to freak out and turn over tables" -- Unknown

“I am a Roman Catholic - the one true faith, (the Microsoft of Christianity) and I know Roman Catholicism is the one true faith because Roman Catholicism tells me it’s the one true faith... And if you remember from earlier in this sentence Roman Catholicism is the one true faith – so how could it be wrong?” ~ Stephen Colbert ‘The Word’ 11-28-06

Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit

Simply_Lovely
AncestralPea

PeaNut 463,295
April 2010
Posts: 4,171
Layouts: 3
Loc: New York City

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:31:59 PM

So...I really feel like his daughter should be returned to him but my heart goes out to the adoptive family. They love the baby too and it is their baby too


It's "their" baby only because they stole her and refused to give her back. So much damage could have been avoided if they just acted like decent human beings. I hope God punishes them for their despicable actions!




Meow!

leftturnonly
Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.

PeaNut 416,788
March 2009
Posts: 22,078
Layouts: 0
Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:37:48 PM
What about the child's half-sibling - the mother's first child that this father was also raising?

What a confusing life this child has led already!








If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.



enjoytotheend
AncestralPea

PeaNut 359,333
January 2008
Posts: 4,994
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:39:19 PM
I agree that the LDS church really shouldn't be brought into this. If they are members it is even worse in my opinion because they truly know better. I know what our church teaches. We teach about families but we also teach about being honest. We teach about doing the right thing. And there is no way God would tell her to steal another man's child. He just wouldn't. They may think He did but that's not the God I know and serve and love.

enjoytotheend
AncestralPea

PeaNut 359,333
January 2008
Posts: 4,994
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:39:22 PM
I agree that the LDS church really shouldn't be brought into this. If they are members it is even worse in my opinion because they truly know better. I know what our church teaches. We teach about families but we also teach about being honest. We teach about doing the right thing. And there is no way God would tell her to steal another man's child. He just wouldn't. They may think He did but that's not the God I know and serve and love.

FlaMom
Thread Killer Extraordinaire

PeaNut 29,166
February 2002
Posts: 6,400
Layouts: 12
Loc: BFE

Posted: 12/5/2012 5:43:54 PM
Until the citizens of Utah raise hell to change this despicable law, human trafficking in that state will continue.


Tammy

IScrapCrap
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 570,639
October 2012
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 0
Loc: pea formerly known as GIPfunny

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:00:03 PM

I do wonder... has this been covered more or differently in Utah? Is this story just commonplace there so it's no big deal?


Yes it has been covered in Utah and probably more. Since a lot of peas have stated they haven't seen this story until today. NO, it's not commonplace for this to happen. Yes, it DOES happen more often because of the messed up adoption laws in our state.

We just sit back and roll our eyes and say oh well, not my kid, not my problem.




IScrapCrap
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 570,639
October 2012
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 0
Loc: pea formerly known as GIPfunny

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:02:12 PM

Where in many cases adoptive parents are duped, and I feel sorry for them, this is NOT the case here. NOT NOT NOT. It is WELL DOCUMENTED that they were completely aware that fraud was being perpetrated. The judge thought so too, apparently.


But that can't be true if it happened in Utah. We are totally complacent about these type of things.

Maryland
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 87,597
May 2003
Posts: 10,656
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:02:28 PM
The father should get her yesterday! There is no reason why they should not give her to him asap! At least she is so young. The mother should get into lots of trouble for what she did to her husband and child.

e_doe
PeaNut

PeaNut 525,528
October 2011
Posts: 306
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:06:27 PM
This just reads to me like a couple of self-indulgent rich people who have never been told "no" throwing a temper tantrum at having a person (who they think of as a possession) being taken away from their little "matching adoptive pair" setup.

Yes, if they had the baby for 3 months and the father said "hey! That's MY baby!"--yes, that would be excruciatingly painful. But how could you, in your heart of hearts, not know that the right thing would be to nullify the adoption and send the girl to live with her bio dad?

The agency should bear the cost for everything up to the point where the adoptive family decided to fight the father. And they should be placed under close supervision. Clearly, something is missing from their procedure books.

The mother should be prosecuted for fraud and/or trafficking.

And kudos to the dad for pursuing this through the courts. I probably woulda done the (dum mamabear thing and stalked them until I could snatch my kid back. Let's hope that after they bring his daughter back to him, they see their way to rational and drop this appeal.
Uploaded with iPhone client

scrappower
Allons-y Alonso

PeaNut 174,150
October 2004
Posts: 15,329
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:08:20 PM

But that can't be true if it happened in Utah. We are totally complacent about these type of things.


You know what, this is an issue in Utah, it isn't like people are making up these stories.

Here is another article about the adoptive process for unmarried fathers and how Utah differs from most.

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/article-11795-some-call-it-kidnapping.html?current_page=all

It is something everyone should stand against.



IScrapCrap
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 570,639
October 2012
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 0
Loc: pea formerly known as GIPfunny

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:10:22 PM

You know what, this is an issue in Utah, it isn't like people are making up these stories.

Here is another article about the adoptive process for unmarried fathers and how Utah differs from most.


I was responding to mapchic's comment and being a smart ass. I'm sorry you didn't see my failed attempt at humor.

cajuncandy
PEAing entirely too much!

PeaNut 182,236
December 2004
Posts: 11,419
Layouts: 6
Loc: Here and There, well...mostly There!

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:15:14 PM
Unless there is more to the story, I believe that the father should get his daughter back ASAP.


*************************************
Candy



kaylin
PeaNut

PeaNut 536,801
January 2012
Posts: 186
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:15:32 PM
Uploaded with iPhone client

raindancer
Capt. Sparrow's Pirate Wench

PeaNut 217,886
August 2005
Posts: 16,505
Layouts: 44

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:24:47 PM
he LDS church ranks families as very important, and although they promote family togetherness they do not discourage single parents. The church would certainly not condone this

********
They absolutely DO discourage it strongly.
I think the child needs to back to her father and the Utah laws need adjusted


~Heidi~



"You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't make both."
Uploaded with iPhone client

Georgiapea
Mom to the Wild Things.

PeaNut 96,783
July 2003
Posts: 27,850
Layouts: 0
Loc: Altoona, Alabama

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:29:47 PM
I sincerely believe the father has a legal right to raise his child. However, the little girl will be traumatized if that happens. I can see the adoptive parent's position and empathize with them. The law is on the father's side however.

CupcakePea
PeaNut

PeaNut 465,236
April 2010
Posts: 249
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:37:34 PM
The father should get the child. The adoption agency, bio mom and adoptive parents should ALL have to pay for future counseling which is sure to be needed.
Joint custody? No way, that is a total hardship on the father- he doesn't live down the block from these folks. Let alone the adoptive parents are beyond selfish and immoral.

nightnurse
PeaNut

PeaNut 380,254
June 2008
Posts: 84
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:48:59 PM
I notice you can't leave any comments on the "adoptive" parents incredibly biased and sanctimonious website. They mention God's plan several times and how they are praying. Well, He answered your prayers and the answer is "No." The court ruled against you. I'm sure an omnipotent God could have influenced the court ruling in theirm favor if He felt like it. But I'm guessing He is not in support of kidnapping, either.

And it is just incredible to me that anyone could say a man "abandoned" his family by being deployed. Is this really how we treat the sevicemen and women who are willing to sacrifice for their country, by saying that service should cost them their kids?

jalapenette
BucketHead

PeaNut 415,025
March 2009
Posts: 1,154
Layouts: 137
Loc: Southwest USA

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:54:19 PM

he LDS church ranks families as very important, and although they promote family togetherness they do not discourage single parents. The church would certainly not condone this

********
They absolutely DO discourage it strongly.
I think the child needs to back to her father and the Utah laws need adjusted



They discourage people from BECOMING single parents in the first place- they encourage people, for example, to get married before having sex and therefore remove the possibility of having a baby out of wedlock. They encourage couples to work on their marriages and try to keep them healthy in order to avoid divorce.

However, they are also supportive of families who are single parents. They encourage them and help them out when they can. They tell members to not to judge them, but rather to show love to them. There have been talks in conference about this- about encouraging and uplifting people in these situations.


-Rachelle


*Mommy to Adam, born October 2010, and Tommy, July 2012*



look4angel
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 49,444
September 2002
Posts: 2,811
Layouts: 181
Loc: Tn

Posted: 12/5/2012 6:56:12 PM

I mentioned that they have 4 kids. And I don't care if they have 4 or 44. What I meant by my comment is that it's not an act by desperate parents who could never have a child of their own and struggled to have a baby or to adopt a baby and blah blah blah. If that was the situation I could sort of see how this all came out of sheer desperation to have a baby. But these sick people had their own kids, adopted another kid, and now are trying to prevent a loving father from being with his daughter just because the crazy woman saw something in a DREAM??? That's selfish and disgusting. There are no excuses, not a drop of sympathy, nothing.

This! I also am not buying they didn't know how to contact him. He was in the military, 1 maybe 2 phone calls at MOST, would have gotten them in touch with his CO.

The fact that they knew he wanted this child and kept her anyway, shows
"their" total disregard for that child, and her emotional well being. They along with the adoptive agency should be charged with abuse, fraud, and trafficking, and the father should sue the crap out of them for emotional damages for both him and his daughter.

He should get the daughter back TODAY, and there is no way I would let the crazy adoptive kidnappers anywhere near her again. PERIOD! They knew this was not a legal adoption from the very first day, they just thought they could get away with it, and the fact that they are dragging it out all this time, shows they don't give a crap about the child, it's all about them!


Check out my blog at:
Scrap-aholic blog
My Pinterest
My Design Teams:
Picture That Sound

heartcat
International Association of Epic Length Posters

PeaNut 51,429
October 2002
Posts: 40,203
Layouts: 237
Loc: Where dreams come true

Posted: 12/5/2012 7:05:03 PM
Without having read any of the other responses, I feel that the biological father of the child should have to approve placing the child for adoption.

If he wishes to raise the child, he should be allowed to do so.

And the biological mother should then have to pay child support.

Just as it works in the case of a biological mother, so should it work in the case of a biological father. Unless there is some reason that a man is deemed 'unfit' to raise a child and his parental rights are severed in court, whether or not he is married to the child's biological mother should not even matter.

I believe that a woman has a choice on what to do with a developing fetus that supercedes the wishes of the biological father, because of the unique circumstances of biology and the potential physical risks associated with pregnancy and childbirth.

But once she agrees to take on those risks, what happens to the born child is no longer her sole domain. And even if she wishes adoption, if the bio dad wishes to keep and raise the child his right to do so should come first.


***********
Canon 7D with grip; Jupiter-37A 135mm 3.5; Carl Zeiss Jena 135mm 3.5; Jupiter-11A 135mm 4; Pentacon 135mm 2.8; Nikkor-P 105mm 2.5; RMC Tokina 80-200mm 4.5; Helios 44-2 58mm 2; Super Takumar 55mm 1.8; Vivitar 35mm 2.8; RMC Tokina 28mm 2.8; RMC Tokina 35-70mm 3.5; Panagor 90mm 2.8 macro; Canon 18-55mm IS; Canon 55-250mm IS; Canon 50mm 1.8; Canon 24-105mm f/4 L


My blog: Nifty Thrifty and (Almost!) Fifty

Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!

PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,838
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here

Posted: 12/5/2012 7:11:08 PM
I read about it in the news and those people in Utah should be beyond ashamed for their horrible, horrible actions. This is not an abusive or unfit man. He was DEFENDING OUR COUNTRY and deserves to have his daughter. His wife should be horsewhipped!



Dog people are a special breed!

Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!

PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,838
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here

Posted: 12/5/2012 7:12:00 PM
I also have to ask why they need 60 days to return the baby to her FATHER! It should have been next day as far as I am concerned!



Dog people are a special breed!

jodster70
To the right, To the right

PeaNut 51,257
October 2002
Posts: 6,190
Layouts: 28
Loc: Usually NSBR, an un"pea"dictable place :)

Posted: 12/5/2012 7:27:31 PM
I hope that the other father robbed of his baby, Mr. Wyatt, will get some publicity and be able to get his baby back too.

I agree that the laws in Utah need to be changed. Father's rights need to be protected, married or not.


**Jody**

"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government -- lest it come to dominate our lives and interests."
Patrick Henry

melanell
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 26,836
January 2002
Posts: 18,609
Layouts: 86

Posted: 12/5/2012 7:29:48 PM

Wow, that's cruel of the wife.

The father should be given the baby back.

How in the world did this drag on until the little girl was 21 months old? That would be so hard for all the parties involved!



Ditto to all of this.

It is so completely insane that this has gone for so long. It is cruel to all involved, including this poor little girl, to have this going on and on like this.

Scrapmom-of-2
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 121,146
December 2003
Posts: 2,367
Layouts: 0
Loc: Illinois

Posted: 12/5/2012 8:12:28 PM
This reminds me of a similar case here in Illinois quite a few years ago. The baby Richard case.

The laws in Illinois were changed because of it. I believe it was in the 1990's...because we adopted our child shortly after that. any family and friends were worried for us in that the same thing may happen. A birthfather may come back to claim a child.

The law now states that if a man has "relations" with a woman, he has 60 days after the baby is born to make a claim...if not, his rights are terminated.

The agengy is SO at fault here as well as any lawyers who are involved. The birthmother is also at fault.

I agree that the birthfather should indeed get his child back.

I also think the child should be able to transition slowly to his biodad.






freecharlie
Trying to think of a new title

PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
Posts: 21,754
Layouts: 4
Loc: Colorado

Posted: 12/5/2012 8:18:28 PM
There is a guy here in Colorado who filed BEFORE the mother traveled to Utah to give birth and then gave the baby to her sister for aduption. I don't know the outcome of the case, but I know that it was sent back to the courts.

It is NOT okay to have things like this happen. The woman is not the only one with rights once that baby it born. BOTH parents should have to give their child up for adoption. A woman can decide to keep a child even if the father does not want to, a father should have the same right.


Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you

heartcat
International Association of Epic Length Posters

PeaNut 51,429
October 2002
Posts: 40,203
Layouts: 237
Loc: Where dreams come true

Posted: 12/5/2012 8:29:24 PM

Well, she signed away her parental rights, so I doubt he can get a dime out of her for that. On the plus side, I also doubt she has any visitation rights either, for the same reason.


I do not believe that someone should be able to 'sign away their parental rights' if their child's other biological parent wishes to keep and raise their child.

Men cannot just sign away their parental rights if a woman decides to keep a child. He is responsible for child support whether or not he wanted the child and whether or not he chooses to be part of the child's life.

I do not think that women should be able to either in a situation like this.


***********
Canon 7D with grip; Jupiter-37A 135mm 3.5; Carl Zeiss Jena 135mm 3.5; Jupiter-11A 135mm 4; Pentacon 135mm 2.8; Nikkor-P 105mm 2.5; RMC Tokina 80-200mm 4.5; Helios 44-2 58mm 2; Super Takumar 55mm 1.8; Vivitar 35mm 2.8; RMC Tokina 28mm 2.8; RMC Tokina 35-70mm 3.5; Panagor 90mm 2.8 macro; Canon 18-55mm IS; Canon 55-250mm IS; Canon 50mm 1.8; Canon 24-105mm f/4 L


My blog: Nifty Thrifty and (Almost!) Fifty

alittleintrepid
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 345,847
November 2007
Posts: 2,418
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/5/2012 8:31:02 PM
What a total mindfcuk for the little girl and her siblings. Can you imagine growing up with that? The father should sue the birth mom, adoptive parents, adoptive agency and the state to cover the cost of his legal fees and all the therapy this little one could need. So, so wrong.

I also think that child protective services should be looking into these adoptive parents to determine if they are fit to care for their other children. They have demonstrated that they place their own needs before that of their "child" to her detriment.

tksmom
PeaAddict

PeaNut 47,423
August 2002
Posts: 1,820
Layouts: 24
Loc: North Texas

Posted: 12/5/2012 8:39:43 PM
I know the baby is bonded to adoptive parents but that doesn't make them any less shady. I think they should set up a few supervised visits with dad and then let the baby go with him. If dad is so inclined he can allow some contact with adoptive patents but that's up to him. It's his kid.


Uploaded with iPhone client

Pretty In PeaNK

PeaNut 417,489
March 2009
Posts: 5,138
Layouts: 2
Loc: In hiding...

Posted: 12/5/2012 8:39:44 PM
This whole thing is just so, so sad. I cannot believe fathers aren't seen as equal to mothers in adoptions.

I'm absolutely astonished stuff like this is happening in the United States in this day and age.


"How are we going to get rid of racism? Stop talking about it!"--Morgan Freeman

cocoanmom
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 285,775
November 2006
Posts: 2,685
Layouts: 31

Posted: 12/5/2012 8:52:24 PM
I dont know if he is still in the military..But I surely hope if he is that he is not deployed somewhere and the baby has to go to another home to live. I did not see anything but I hope that he has a stable home life with lots of support if he is a single Dad



Annabella
Leads a Charmed Life

PeaNut 43,843
July 2002
Posts: 43,799
Layouts: 46
Loc: East Coast

Posted: 12/5/2012 9:26:05 PM

Also wanted to add that although I feel that this particular family (who probably are LDS based on the language they use on their blog) feels as though they are superior and will provide a superior home, that doesn't mean it is BECAUSE they are LDS or because "the LDS church thinks that way." It is because they are trying to use God to justify their immoral actions.

I'm sure if they were not LDS this particular family would find another means of justifying their actions.

The LDS church ranks families as very important, and although they promote family togetherness they do not discourage single parents. The church would certainly not condone this.


I could tell from the flowerly language on their blog that they were LDS as well. I also figured they were able to raise so much money from their blog for their case from their church friends. I mean I was shocked their blog showed they earned $30K already. I think it's a case of they belong to a ward, so they have a large community to draw from and of course people are going to take their side.



< 1 2 3 4 >
Post Reply . Post New TopicShow/Hide Icons . Show/Hide Signatures
Hide
{{ title }}
{{ icon }}
{{ body }}
{{ footer }}