| |
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
 |  Posted: 12/10/2012 2:12:24 PM
11.07.011( nuisance definition includes excessive noise.
11.07.020(a) 3+ instances of noise in a 90 day period may be cited as a misdemeanor. ( individual person(s) associated with (a) may be cited.
Yes thank you for explaining this. I do know the ordinance law here, there haven't been 3+ instances. This was the first time we ever got a visit from the sheriff.
You do know it would have to be 3+ reported incidents right?
Here's the simple fact of it again.
1. I am not arguing we weren't wrong on this particular night
2. I am not arguing that we wouldn't have apologized, we of course would
3. I do feel they owe us more of an apology than we do them, yes we disturbed them and we would have bent over to make up for it, and we are now, but
4. DON'T CALL THE COPS ON YOUR NEIGHBORS over one bad night! If its a regular thing and they have SAID something EACH time, then by all means we deserve it.
|
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
NaughtiusMaximus
PeaNut
PeaNut 542,344
February 2012
Posts: 101
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:13:05 PM
Kinley, this is like bumper-cars. You keep adding something with every post, trying to get everyone to say 'oh, sorry, we were wrong.' Um, no.
2:00 a.m. on a Friday is too late. 3+ times in 90 days is a municipal offense. You think your neighbor should be the one to have to get up, get dressed and come over at 2:00 a.m. to tell you to shut up.
A family member dying is no excuse. I've had family members die also, and my laughing and smiling again didn't involve the police.
Everyone, stop responding to this. I am. This is a total PVM that has now turned into "you don't know me" "you don't know my DH" bla bla bla.
Lady, you went to an Internet chat group for advice. Reap what you sow.
| |
|
NaughtiusMaximus
PeaNut
PeaNut 542,344
February 2012
Posts: 101
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:15:04 PM
Kinsey, EVERYONE can call the cops when there is noise disruption. You are not the arbiter of who can call the police when, because it disturbs you.
TA-ta. | |
|
MergeLeft
Typical Liberal
PeaNut 221,236
August 2005
Posts: 19,272
Layouts: 67
Loc: Houston
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 2:16:12 PM
You do know it would have to be 3+ reported incidents right?
It says it would have to be that many for it to be cited as a misdemeanor, not that the first two incidences are perfectly OK.
Again - you're not being rational. You need to let this go. |
|
|
leftturnonly
Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.
PeaNut 416,788
March 2009
Posts: 19,757
Layouts: 0
Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 2:18:08 PM
4. DON'T CALL THE COPS ON YOUR NEIGHBORS over one bad night! If its a regular thing and they have SAID something EACH time, then by all means we deserve it.
You don't get to make that decision, and right now, you're not as empathetic to your neighbors as you could be.
That's it.
I'm glad you enjoyed yourselves. Now, forget about the phone call and try to move on with today.
What's done is done. You could have been more understanding of them. They could have been more understanding of you (in your opinion). <shrug> What do you have to gain by continuing to dwell on it?
|
If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.
| |
|
|
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:18:37 PM
Question. Does your dh feel disrespected in this case? After reading all of the replies here, are you still upset with how your neighbours have handled this? Do you understand why they possibly could have handled it the way that they did?
It's OK, it was easy to get lost in the shuffle
Yes he does (Ill explain below)
Yes I am still upset at the way they handled it and no I don't at all see why they handled it the way they did.
I know this guy has called the police on their other next door neighbors at least 3 times since we have lived here. They are just those type of people but considering we have a friendly relationship with them and those people don't. I figured they would have given us the respect of speaking with us and by speaking with us I mean speaking with us again since that time of 8 months ago.
If you don't let someone know that they are continuing to bother them, how do those people know? 1 time of getting a complaint from them in 8 months would not alert us to the fact that we are still bothering them.
We have two from them now, now we know. |
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
Simply_Lovely
PeaFixture
PeaNut 463,295
April 2010
Posts: 3,440
Layouts: 3
Loc: New York City
 | |
leftturnonly
Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.
PeaNut 416,788
March 2009
Posts: 19,757
Layouts: 0
Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:22:21 PM
If you don't let someone know that they are continuing to bother them, how do those people know?
You weren't in your yard making noise near their bedroom window at 2AM before.
That's too late.
It's too late for them to be reasonable. They just want to sleep. You can't mess with people's sleep and expect them to behave any other way but crankily.
|
If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.
| |
|
|
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:25:42 PM
Kinley-pea -- I completely understand why you feel this way. You've been having a hard time dealing with such a loss, you finally managed to have a good time for once and it was ruined by cops who were called by your neighbors totally unexpected in your mind.
While I said I wouldn't call the cops in this situation, I can understand why they did. Do they know you lost your sister? Maybe they were afraid of your reaction, maybe they didn't want to upset you personally.
Whatever the reason, they did call, and they had a right to do so. It would be nice if they just asked, and I'd be mad in your position too, but it is what it is and you have to move forward. I think the big issue here is that you feel they ruined your long awaited happy moment. And you're projecting your anger and thinking"after all I've been through i can't even enjoy a night out in my own damn backyard!!"
Whatever happened, you need to let it go (both at home and on 2peas!). They apologized to you and you to them and it's all that matters now.
(((hugs))) and so sorry for your loss.
Yes you're right, thanks for putting it the way you did. I think what you said is spot on.
I have to step back and let it go and be more consciousnesses (sp?) from now on. I have a goody I am bringing to them today as well, because I honestly do feel bad. I don't want to be "that neighbor". If I was or we are, I would just like to know in a better way.
I will let it go now. I think I did need to vent it out on here. |
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
~Laurie~
aka momtoemily
PeaNut 63,864
January 2003
Posts: 10,814
Layouts: 1
Loc: South Dakota
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 2:26:23 PM
4. DON'T CALL THE COPS ON YOUR NEIGHBORS over one bad night! If its a regular thing and they have SAID something EACH time, then by all means we deserve it.
But this wasn't just one bad night... by your own admission it is 1-2 times a month.
They asked you 8 months ago. They shouldn't have to tell you EACH time. You are grown adults and someone shouldn't have to babysit you and tell you when you have gone too far.
|
Laurie
 | |
|
|
leftturnonly
Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.
PeaNut 416,788
March 2009
Posts: 19,757
Layouts: 0
Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:28:59 PM
I will let it go now. I think I did need to vent it out on here.
I hope it helped.
This is a really small thing. You've been through much worse. But small things can really get under our skin sometimes. Everybody understands that.
|
If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.
| |
|
|
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:33:51 PM
But this wasn't just one bad night... by your own admission it is 1-2 times a month.
we can go around and around and around about this. The plain and simple fact is that 1-2 times a month does NOT mean we WERE disturbing them those times. You just assume we were because they said something 8 months ago and we did Friday night. That's all I am saying. In 8 months if we were bothering them 1-2 times a month every month. I would think we would have had more police calls.
I was mortified when my boss came over and was that loud. Because we are pretty quiet and I didn't at all want to gain that reputation of being loud. She kinda ruined it for us here. Had she never come around and been that loud, I doubt they would have ever heard us and from what we knew, they didn't, but since she was loud that time it made them more aware to any future gatherings I am sure.
So we just have to choose more carefully who we have around and how late we are out there.
|
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
*maureen*
Bad Wolf
PeaNut 191,892
February 2005
Posts: 5,394
Layouts: 0
Loc: Wheaton
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 2:33:57 PM
1. I am not arguing we weren't wrong on this particular night
2. I am not arguing that we wouldn't have apologized, we of course would
3. I do feel they owe us more of an apology than we do them, yes we disturbed them and we would have bent over to make up for it, and we are now, but
4. DON'T CALL THE COPS ON YOUR NEIGHBORS over one bad night! If its a regular thing and they have SAID something EACH time, then by all means we deserve it.
So let me see if I have this straight, you were loud and would have apologized but they called the cops, so now you don't have to apologize? Further, the night in question has now gone from "not loud" to "one bad night" and you still think they behaved worse than you did? they have said something in the past, you really expect them to say something to you each time you are too loud? | |
|
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:35:54 PM
I hope it helped.
This is a really small thing. You've been through much worse. But small things can really get under our skin sometimes. Everybody understands that.
It did help, thank you. Yes they can and I have to learn to them go much easier. |
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
barbara32ca
PeaAddict
PeaNut 113,044
October 2003
Posts: 1,194
Layouts: 150
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 2:37:56 PM
I hope it helped.
This is a really small thing. You've been through much worse. But small things can really get under our skin sometimes. Everybody understands that.
It did help, thank you. Yes they can and I have to learn to them go much easier.
| |
|
IPeaFreely
It's a Higgs, baby!
PeaNut 120,657
December 2003
Posts: 12,280
Layouts: 32
Loc: CERN
| Posted: 12/10/2012 2:54:56 PM
I called the cops on a neighbor last year. It was 2PM and he was washing his car and blasting music. I closed all my windows. That didnt help. I turned up the tv. That didnt help. So after an hour or so I called the cops and heres why:
I dont want that guy to think that his noise level is ok as long as Im not complaining. i want him to regulate his own noise level himself. I dont want him thinking Hey it must be OK because shes not complaining. i want him to think Maybe I better turn this down because I dont want the cops to come.
Maybe this is how your neighbors feel.
| |
|
MerryMom937
PeaFixture
PeaNut 472,567
June 2010
Posts: 3,127
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 3:15:18 PM
Hi, I read the updates and let me just say this:
If it is 2 am and the people in question aren't civil enough to realize that it is 2 am and that probably they need to take their party in-doors and also lower the noise level, then I may or may not be civil and say to them over the fence, "Can you quiet it down?" in a civil tone of voice. If I have been trying to sleep for a couple of hours and your "gathering" is keeping me, my husband, and/or my children awake, then my civility and neighborlyness might not be so present.
By the way, sometimes, the constant "shushing" is more annoying than the noise. Once you "shushed" your company, you KNEW it was too loud for that time of the 2 am morning, you should have moved your gathering inside your house.
If, as you wrote, that you have these "gatherings" a couple of times a month, then I would probably be at the end of my patience with 2 am "gatherings"...a couple of times a month...keeping me awake...keeping my kids awake...listening to your boisterous friend with the loud laugh...which by your own count, I have experienced at least 8 to 16 times.
I would also add that people rarely have a good radar on how loud or how much noise is being produced by their "gatherings"...especially at 2 am.
So, since you and your "gathering" are creating the noise, I don't think you are in a strong position to have your "knickers in a twist" about your neighbor calling the cops on your "gathering". You and your friends/family are the ones making the noise, so you need to be a bit more humble in your interaction with the neighbor. I mean you want your neighbor to handle this in a "neighborly way", but you certainly aren't being neighborly to them when you have had 8-16 "gatherings" that generate a fair amount of noise past 2 am.
You are, after all, the one who is in the "wrong". Right?
| |
|
~Lindy~
Catty smart aleck
PeaNut 89,450
June 2003
Posts: 17,505
Layouts: 40
Loc: Gone to Chemo with BethAnne.
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:22:43 PM
Your 1-2 times a month equates to about every other weekend to me. While you don't think you're being loud, I can tell you that voices do carry, especially at night when other household/outdoor noise (such as nearby traffic) is softer.
It's a sad coincidence that your neighbor called the sheriff at a time when you were feeling some relief from grief/stress, but your neighbor couldn't have known that. I don't think you should hold that against your neighbor.
Hopefully you can mend your relationship with your neighbor -- good neighbors are a real blessing. |
-Lindy
"It's not how you look but how you see." | |
|
|
Annabella
Leads a Charmed Life
PeaNut 43,843
July 2002
Posts: 42,329
Layouts: 46
Loc: East Coast
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:24:21 PM
I forget that many people join in on the bandwagon here.
Now you're acting melodramatic. Three people in a row on page 3 asked if your neighbors have your number and you didn't answer. You said your husband is a cop so is that why this upsets him, someone he knows showed up at your door?
I'm sorry about your sister, but she is irrelvant here. Your neighbor doesn't know about her and just wants to sleep. |
|
|
GrammarGirl
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 261,174
May 2006
Posts: 2,142
Layouts: 0
Loc: Maryland
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:26:44 PM
I am late to this thread, but this happened to me and my friends a few months back. We had gotten back from going out and were sitting on our friends' porch. It was probably 2 or 3 a.m. on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. There was a knock at the door, and it was a police officer.
He said he was really baffled as to why he was sent there (as he had sat outside the house and listened for a few minutes to see if there was a lot of noise), but he wanted us to know that someone had called.
I get that it's annoying when people are being loud, but sometimes on a weekend, they should let it go. |
|
|
*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)
PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
Posts: 68,990
Layouts: 236
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:29:31 PM
Nope. Never. |
|
|
chelsea_bug
AncestralPea
PeaNut 89,393
June 2003
Posts: 4,176
Layouts: 0
Loc: Central New York
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:36:08 PM
I might call the cops at that point myself...not because I am afraid of how my neighbors will react...but because I'm afraid of how I'll react after getting worked up to that point. |
|
|
jjpswife
PeaFixture
PeaNut 55,741
November 2002
Posts: 3,962
Layouts: 51
Loc: Out here in the middle...
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:44:46 PM
I kind of wish you had just stopped with the positive back and forth you were having with some of the peas and not added that last update. It makes it seem like you still don't understand at all what peaple are trying to make you see.
Another thing you might want to keep in mind is that it is HIGHLY doubtful that your neighbors wanted to see you fined or carted off to jail. They was no malicious intent on their part. They just wanted quiet and they sought the help of a professional to make that happen. They didn't intend to be hurtful or have anything bad happen to you as a result of what you were doing. They just wanted it to stop. That's all. Try not to see an intent of ill-will on their part. Try not to take this so personally.
Also, it would be good to know if they had your contact numbers. If this had been my neighbors, I would have texted them and said, "Soooo sleepy...will you guys be wrapping up soon?!" If I hadn't received a reply or gotten the result I was looking for, I think I would have called. I would NOT have wanted to get out of bed, get dressed and go over there and be seen by their friends in my "night mode". Surely you can see that from their side?
PLEASE continue to try to take in some perspective. Also, I'm really sorry for your loss. |
Kathy
"Open up my head and let me out...little baby."
| |
|
|
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:47:06 PM
I just want to address something and the fact that I think this is how posts get heated. Bits and pieces get taken from each post and thrown together until it sounds good.
Now you're acting melodramatic. Three people in a row on page 3 asked if your neighbors have your number and you didn't answer. You said your husband is a cop so is that why this upsets him, someone he knows showed up at your door?
I'm sorry about your sister, but she is irrelvant here. Your neighbor doesn't know about her and just wants to sleep.
I never said my DH was a cop, because he isn't. If someone asked if they had our number I didn't see it. Yes they do have our number.
If, as you wrote, that you have these "gatherings" a couple of times a month, then I would probably be at the end of my patience with 2 am "gatherings"...a couple of times a month...keeping me awake...keeping my kids awake...listening to your boisterous friend with the loud laugh...which by your own count, I have experienced at least 8 to 16 times.
We had ONE 2 am gathering! and boss was never over here 8-16 times or are you saying you had a friend that you experienced 8-16 times?
All I am asking that is if you are going to give me crap, please get the facts straight. I am fine with people disagreeing with me, that is to be expected but getting the facts wrong is what I have a problem with. You can’t just pick and choose certain things from each post I reply and throw them altogether until it sounds worse than what it really was.
|
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
barbara32ca
PeaAddict
PeaNut 113,044
October 2003
Posts: 1,194
Layouts: 150
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:51:48 PM
I kind of wish you had just stopped with the positive back and forth you were having with some of the peas and not added that last update. It makes it seem like you still don't understand at all what peaple are trying to make you see.
This is where it gets confusing. Kinley-pea's final update was actually posted before the positive back and forth. She ended this thread on a positive note and then a few more people chimed in after it appeared that Kinley-pea had already moved on.
Now she is just responding to late comers that may or may not have read through all 4 pages.
| |
|
I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!
PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
Posts: 19,747
Layouts: 0
Loc: California, NY & Orlando
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:53:12 PM
Kinley-Pea....I'm glad you're going to let it go. I hope you'll also keep in mind that when a thread goes 4 pages, with people telling you that talking and laughing in your yard, 1 to 2 times a month (if that) until midnight or 1am, is too often....then it probably is to often, regardless of what you think.
We are all pretty much a reasonable cross-section of American neighbors, and if this many of us say you're out of line...take that as gospel. Shoot, Peas almost never agree this much. It's really quite monumental.
Go ahead and enjoy your yard, just take it inside at 10 or 11pm, you'll have no problems with your neighbors, and it's a reasonable consideration towards your neighbors....that's all folks are trying to tell you.
And I have to say, I could love you to death, but at 2am, I wouldn't be getting out of bed to tell you to quiet down either. If I got up at 2am to shut you up, what came out of my mouth would not be pretty, no matter how much I liked you. I'd call the police and hope it was a wake up call for you to be more considerate in the future. | |
|
Ms. GreenGenes
PeaFixture
PeaNut 140,500
April 2004
Posts: 3,697
Layouts: 44
Loc: Just this side of crazy!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 3:57:06 PM
I completely understand them being upset with us, if they are holding something against us from 8 months ago. I just can't get on board with that. I don't hold grudges, I am a very forgiving person. No I won't speak to them anymore
Irony, party of 1?
Your neighbor didn't do anything wrong, except piss you off.
You need to realize that, and then the whole thing will take on a more realistic hue in your eyes.
Intentionally refusing to speak to them after you take them a "goody" is just petty.
You made an error in judgment when you didn't show consideration to your neighbors at 2 am. Frequency is irrelevant.
In fact, if you partied loudly even semi-regularly with your old boss, then took a break, I bet your neighbors were just thinking that they thought you figured it out once, and now here you were starting it up again, and they weren't going to tolerate it anymore.
You really, really need to look at this through their eyes. Not your own "I would NEVER call the POLICE!!!!" POV, but truly, through their eyes. A loud neighbor who's oblivious to their own noise level and has loud, late nights under my bedroom window even just 2-3x/year would drive me crazy.
Obviously, your neighbors feel the same way. |
|
|
Sharna_G
PeaFixture
PeaNut 314,157
May 2007
Posts: 3,999
Layouts: 8
Loc: Delaware
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 4:03:16 PM
I won't pile on with my opinion, but I agree with this so much:
We are all pretty much a reasonable cross-section of American neighbors, and if this many of us say you're out of line...take that as gospel. Shoot, Peas almost never agree this much. It's really quite monumental.
I wish more "Did I overreact?", "Who's in the wrong here?" and "WWTPD" OPs would take this into consideration. The Peas agree on about 1% of topics. If we all agree on yours, it's pretty much a done deal. |
~~Sharna
"You think they're onto us?"
"Shhh... Let me call my attorney"
| |
|
|
Annabella
Leads a Charmed Life
PeaNut 43,843
July 2002
Posts: 42,329
Layouts: 46
Loc: East Coast
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:03:22 PM
All I am asking that is if you are going to give me crap, please get the facts straight. I am fine with people disagreeing with me, that is to be expected but getting the facts wrong is what I have a problem with. You can’t just pick and choose certain things from each post I reply and throw them altogether until it sounds worse than what it really was.
Seems to be the theme of this thread. Not that you're in the wrong, but how someone (your neighbors and peas) reacted to you is in the wrong.
I can see a police officer picking up on that and trying to diffuse the situation. I know how they work and what they do. I'm married to one.
The way you phrased this made it seem that your husband is a cop, and now you're getting all bend out of shape because I misinterpreted it.
Relax, your neighbors issued you an apology for allowing you to disturb their sleep, let it go.
|
|
|
PennyPaws
PeaAddict
PeaNut 551,978
April 2012
Posts: 1,532
Layouts: 61
Loc: Canada
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:18:07 PM
I had answered the actual question you asked about calling the cops, but I'm not sure (ASSuming on my part here) that question is what's really getting to you... So to answer what it sounds like your question is: no, I would not want to call the cops or in any way put a stop to a moment where your daughter was able to relax and smile and laugh, and where you were able to do that along with her... It's horrible that just as she was doing that again, after being sad for so long, it had to come to an end... It is just the first of many moments though - she'll smile and laugh more, you'll be able to smile and laugh more... It's bittersweet, but this is the beginning of moving forward and you'll have smiles and laughter to ease you through the times when you miss your sister so much... I wish the best for guys with that... Your neighbours didn't end your moment to be mean, and it would've ended anyways... To have it and then see it end - even just for the night, must have felt like a loss of it's own... It makes sense that would bother you... I'm choosing to believe that is what really has you upset and hurt, and that your neighbour's are a target for it... I also choose to believe that if it was not for all the emotions about your daughter, sister, and yourself, you would see your neighbour's decision as just a decision... Whatever the problem with the noise is, it exists whether or not they called the police, called you, went over, etc... I am choosing to believe that you would also see that they handled it how they felt was best and how they felt most comfortable...
I'm sorry for your loss and sorry that the wonderful night with your daughter couldn't have gone on forever... I hope you and your husband can think back on the night as the first night you guys were really able to laugh and smile, and things are good with your neighbours in the future... |
|
|
Tlcpea
PeaNut
PeaNut 439,297
September 2009
Posts: 171
Layouts: 0
Loc: Ohio
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:22:42 PM
I know what it's like to feel that grief where you think your heart is breaking in your chest and you don't think you'll ever laugh again. My heart goes out to you. Take your treats over and explain yourself and promise not to be out that late again. They most likely called the police to drive their point home that you need to call it a night earlier.
In all honesty, we live in the country. Our neighors are about a football field away, and we're inside by 12. Sound carries.
|
|
|
TripletMom
PeaAddict
PeaNut 149,833
May 2004
Posts: 1,062
Layouts: 108
Loc: K.C., Missouri
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:28:27 PM
No, I would not. I would probably grab a beer and head over! LOL But, all of us neighbors have open party policies anyway.  |
Liana
SuperMom to my SuperKids - Jack, Alayna and Emma (10) and Amanda (7) | |
|
|
Simply_Lovely
PeaFixture
PeaNut 463,295
April 2010
Posts: 3,440
Layouts: 3
Loc: New York City
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:33:36 PM
I can see a police officer picking up on that and trying to diffuse the situation. I know how they work and what they do. I'm married to one.
The way you phrased this made it seem that your husband is a cop, and now you're getting all bend out of shape because I misinterpreted it.
You're wrong, Annabella. OP did not write that, another pea did. You got the facts wrong so don't accuse OP of getting benT out of shape because you have reading comprehension issues. |
 
Meow! | |
|
|
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:36:08 PM
I can see a police officer picking up on that and trying to diffuse the situation. I know how they work and what they do. I'm married to one.
I didn't write this
ETA: I see another posted clarified this for me, thanks! We must have been doing that at the same time |
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
mom2cameron
AncestralPea
PeaNut 150,880
June 2004
Posts: 4,575
Layouts: 1
Loc: On a softball field somewhere.
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:36:30 PM
I would not have called. That sounds like a typical weekend at our house. Your neighbor overreacted. |
|
|
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:41:12 PM
No, I would not. I would probably grab a beer and head over! LOL But, all of us neighbors have open party policies anyway.
Liana
I am moving there! lol |
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
Kinley-pea
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 519,300
August 2011
Posts: 406
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nevada!!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 4:44:15 PM
Kinley-Pea....I'm glad you're going to let it go. I hope you'll also keep in mind that when a thread goes 4 pages, with people telling you that talking and laughing in your yard, 1 to 2 times a month (if that) until midnight or 1am, is too often....then it probably is to often, regardless of what you think.
We are all pretty much a reasonable cross-section of American neighbors, and if this many of us say you're out of line...take that as gospel. Shoot, Peas almost never agree this much. It's really quite monumental.
Go ahead and enjoy your yard, just take it inside at 10 or 11pm, you'll have no problems with your neighbors, and it's a reasonable consideration towards your neighbors....that's all folks are trying to tell you.
And I have to say, I could love you to death, but at 2am, I wouldn't be getting out of bed to tell you to quiet down either. If I got up at 2am to shut you up, what came out of my mouth would not be pretty, no matter how much I liked you. I'd call the police and hope it was a wake up call for you to be more considerate in the future.
Thank you! I intend to have no more late nights! and I do know deep down, they weren't trying to hurt us or anything. |
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
|
|
Miss Ang
I'm a Toilet Paper Pea. Are you?
PeaNut 26,443
January 2002
Posts: 11,583
Layouts: 398
Loc: Illinois
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 4:55:56 PM
I was starting to get upset ----and some of the things being said on this thread started bothering me but then I realized where I am. I don't say this to be rude its just the truth really.
I don't ever try to be unkind to anyone here whether I think they are wrong or right. I accept everyone's differences and beliefs equally. I forget that many people join in on the bandwagon here. That is OK, there are thousands of people lurking, posting etc. There are going to be tons of differing opinions.
It's just sad that we live in this type of world where we think our neighbor is going to harm us if we have a difference of opinion etc.
I personally would never call the police, I have a fan that drowns out noise and can sleep through most anything.
I personally don't see anything wrong in having family and friend gatherings at 1-2 times a month. It really isn't an all the time thing where we are out there past 12AM I stated that we have been out there at times until 12-1 but that doesn't mean its every.single.time. This was a rare thing that we happened to be out so late on Friday night and I completely understand them being upset with us, if they are holding something against us from 8 months ago. I just can't get on board with that. I don't hold grudges, I am a very forgiving person. No I won't speak to them anymore but then again I personally never really did. My DH does.
The important thing here is, this was the FIRST time since my sister passed that my DD and I were able to laugh and enjoy life. I go to bed every night crying over my sister, I worry about my father constantly. I worry about my DD constantly. This was the first time I was able to let go and enjoy myself and I DON't feel bad for that. I just don't. My life has been ripped apart over the passing of my sister. It happened fast and unexpected. I have a hard time even getting through my days and for the first time I was able to not think about it.
I don't want to pile on you but maybe you should look at how many times you said, "I ... " in that last update. Not once did you look at how what you're doing makes them feel. Maybe they have their own personal crisis going on as well and YOUR actions were making them feel like they can't relax or rest in their own home. We all have our struggles to deal with. Maybe their problems are bigger than yours, maybe they aren't, but the point is, you really don't have the right to break the law and then be annoyed at someone else for reporting you.
I don't know that I would have called the police on a neighbor in this situation, but I also know that I do follow the noise ordinance in our city and I do expect others to do so as well. Even when my dd has friends over and they sit at the fire pit in the back yard they are expected to keep it quiet after 10pm.
When you live in the city limits and have neighbors it's just one of life's little inconveniences; no matter what kind of personal problems you've been dealing with.
Edited for clarifaction. |
|
|
Jadie
AncestralPea
PeaNut 40,081
June 2002
Posts: 4,491
Layouts: 183
Loc: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
| Posted: 12/10/2012 5:26:55 PM
Well, I work every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday- 12 hour shifts from 6:30 AM to 7:00 PM. I get up for work at 5:00 AM. That is my workweek. I go to bed between 8-9:00 PM.
I work at a children's hospital with kids on ventilators, etc. I need to get a decent amount of rest to do my job. I would be pretty upset if someone was having a party that was loud until 2AM, and then I have to crawl out of bed 3 hours later to get back to work. |
"Why, yes! I *have* lost my mind! Thank you for asking!"
Vicki | |
|
|
lovestorun
PeaNut 90,754
June 2003
Posts: 7,006
Layouts: 38
Loc: So Cal
| Posted: 12/10/2012 5:32:20 PM
Despite only being outside 1-2 times a month (on weekends) when there are 4 weekends a month that means up to 50% of the time, you have someone over. Even if it's not your boss, you're still entertaining until what most would deem an unreasonable hour...especially for being outside. You can enjoy your fire pit from sunset to midnight, I'd say that's more then fair!!!
It's not really about the neighbors, they're your fall guy for your grief and anger about your sister.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry that you forgot for the first time and it was ruined. I really am.
That.
| |
|
blondiek237
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 70,239
February 2003
Posts: 2,866
Layouts: 8
Loc: Massachusetts
| Posted: 12/10/2012 6:49:21 PM
If my next door neighbors were outside and loud past midnight 2 times a month, I would ne calling the police. Once or twice a year ok, once or twice a month-no way. And if I had to get up and get dressed each time you were inconsiderate, polite would not even be on my radar, you would be better with the police. I am sorry for your loss, but that does not give you the right to be inconsiderate to your neighbors. | |
|
Margeux
BucketHead
PeaNut 219,867
August 2005
Posts: 825
Layouts: 5
| Posted: 12/10/2012 6:52:42 PM
First, I can't believe some of the responses.
Secondly, I would never, ever call the sheriff because of laughing and talking. Loud music, wheelies, etc, yes. I think that was a major overreaction.
In addition, We have a teenager across the street from us that has a manmade natural firepit with haybails placed around it. He hosts a fire at least twice a month. No loud music, but talking and laughing. We just put on the white noise and think its great that kids still have good clean fun! |
|
|
PaigesMom
PeaAddict
PeaNut 11,109
February 2001
Posts: 1,767
Layouts: 36
Loc: Northern California
 | Posted: 12/10/2012 7:51:51 PM
Years ago I used to try talking to the offending neighbors first. But it never went well. Every last one of them was like the OP. "I have a right to enjoy my yard" , balcony or whatever. Absolutely lacking in basic respect for others rights. I even ended up with my tires slashed after asking a neighbor to quieten down.
I call the police now. I call the first time and every time after. 1-2 a month is once a month too often.
Similar to my experience. We also had someone in our neighborhood get an anonymous complaint about their fence. It wasnt us but that neighbor went to EVERY single house in our cul de sac and bitched us out. He seemed "normal" prior to that.
So yeah, I am a cop caller. Laughing and talking at 2 am would keep me up. Yes, you are entitled to enjoy your home but so am I. A little consideration goes a long way. Especially with neighbors. |
|
|
dietcokejunkee
PeaAddict
PeaNut 37,211
April 2002
Posts: 1,307
Layouts: 0
Loc: Chicago suburbs (SW)
| Posted: 12/10/2012 8:01:45 PM
I see no need to apologize to peas. Do as you please on your own property...within reason. It sounds like you try to keep it at a reasonable level. Tell neighbors to perhaps invest in a fan for white noise. That's why I use to drown out neighbors and dogs barking. And I hope they block me out when we have parties or I scream at the kids 
ETA: why can't people talk to their neighbors and ask them to quiet down? Why does everyone call the police? I would think you can talk to the neighbor? If not that night, the next day, to let them know you were disturbed by their noise. | |
|
He**inWA
*Clever Pea Title Here*
PeaNut 220,816
August 2005
Posts: 8,917
Layouts: 2
Loc: Hidden under a pile of scrap!
| Posted: 12/10/2012 8:12:52 PM
I need to get a decent amount of rest to do my job. I would be pretty upset if someone was having a party that was loud until 2AM, and then I have to crawl out of bed 3 hours later to get back to work.
^ ^ ^
Me too.
Ya know ...the thing is......when you don't work M-F, or even 'normal' day hours like an office, etc, or even just some other type of 8 hour shifts , even 12 AM is really, really late to be kept awake 1-2 times/month.
Especially if you work every other weekend, which is extremely common in many professions.
If someone else did that when you had to be up early, somehow I doubt you would feel the same as you do now.
Just sayin' |
He**inWA
  
'Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell' -Edna St. Vincent Millay | |
|
|
myshelly
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 471,001
June 2010
Posts: 7,482
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/10/2012 8:23:41 PM
Your right to make noise and "enjoy yourself" does not supersede my right to have a peaceful night and not have to listen to you. I paid good money for my house, too. Your rights end where my nose -- in this case, ears -- begin.
You are being a selfish and inconsiderate neighbor.
^^that!
We have noise ordinances in our city and if you are out beig loud at 2 am here then you are breaking the law and, yes, I would call the cops. I have called the cops for noise here. They came right out, there was no more noise, and the neighbors never found out who called. Win-win.
I feel bad for your neighbors.
| |
|
cmpeter
PEAceful Pea
PeaNut 14,521
April 2001
Posts: 34,589
Layouts: 31
Loc: Washington State
| Posted: 12/10/2012 8:44:58 PM
I personally don't see anything wrong in having family and friend gatherings at 1-2 times a month. It really isn't an all the time thing where we are out there past 12AM I stated that we have been out there at times until 12-1 but that doesn't mean its every.single.time. This was a rare thing that we happened to be out so late on Friday night and I completely understand them being upset with us, if they are holding something against us from 8 months ago. I just can't get on board with that. I don't hold grudges, I am a very forgiving person. No I won't speak to them anymore but then again I personally never really did. My DH does.
The important thing here is, this was the FIRST time since my sister passed that my DD and I were able to laugh and enjoy life. I go to bed every night crying over my sister, I worry about my father constantly. I worry about my DD constantly. This was the first time I was able to let go and enjoy myself and I DON't feel bad for that. I just don't. My life has been ripped apart over the passing of my sister. It happened fast and unexpected. I have a hard time even getting through my days and for the first time I was able to not think about it.
I haven't read any of the other posts. I just wanted to add that if I were your neighbors I would have said something to you about the noise a long time ago. 1-2 times a month is too much. I would have only called the police if you continued to make noise that late at night.
I am sorry for your loss and I am glad that you were able to find some joy and peace with your dd. But, your joy should not come at your neighbor's expense, regardless of the tragedy that you have suffered. |
|
|
Annabella
Leads a Charmed Life
PeaNut 43,843
July 2002
Posts: 42,329
Layouts: 46
Loc: East Coast
| Posted: 12/10/2012 8:51:28 PM
You're wrong, Annabella. OP did not write that, another pea did. You got the facts wrong so don't accuse OP of getting benT out of shape because you have reading comprehension issues.
Kinley didn't use the quote feature so again she's bent out of shape for her error. |
|
|
*~*amanda*~*
...
PeaNut 393,905
October 2008
Posts: 6,857
Layouts: 0
Loc: Illinois
| Posted: 12/10/2012 10:17:23 PM
Obviously we will tone it down- that was NEVER the issue. It was simply plain and simple, the way they handled it.
Actually, plain and simple, the wouldn't have had anything to handle if you hadn't been so loud at 2am. |
|
|
Nanner
AncestralPea
PeaNut 32,283
March 2002
Posts: 4,895
Layouts: 0
Loc: Alberta
| Posted: 12/11/2012 7:29:30 AM
I've called the police on our neighbours. The first time, I asked them to please tone it down at 1:00. They laughed and told em to eff off. The next time, I called the police. Their party ended when the police came, and they didn't have any more late outdoor parties last summer after that.
If they do this summer, I'll call the police again. They are ignorant, obnoxious jerks.
But even if they hadn't responded the way they did the first time, and weren't normally jerks, I still would have called the police if these parties had been happening once or twice a month.
Kinley-pea, I am sorry for your loss.
|
|
|
