Does anybody else have a Scrooge for a husband?

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Posted 12/25/2012 by carolanns2 in NSBR Board
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PeaNut

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Posted: 12/25/2012 7:52:29 PM
Nope. I don't have a husband but my boyfriend is great at giving presents. We don't spend a lot but we both make sure we each have a little pile of presents to open.

nicolemartel
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Posted: 12/25/2012 8:44:00 PM
Didn't get anything, but we both agrees on no gifts so we can give our son a nice Christmas!


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Charabby
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Posted: 12/25/2012 11:15:16 PM
There's another thread with a similar topic and I'll say the same here as there. It makes me do angry on the behalf of these husbands' wives that they are ignored in this way.

I'm not referring to the people who make it work for them, but rather the ones that are hurt. The ones that want to be remembered. Obviously, some talking might be in order depending upon how the issue has already been confronted Maybe even with a counselor. It may very well turn out that husband and wife have to work together to help the situation. But it is not ok for half the couple to have their feelings hurt because the other half can't be bothered. Ugh, it's just so aggravating to me to even think about


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cdnscrapper
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Posted: 12/25/2012 11:33:55 PM
I am sorry to hear of ladies who got nothing and are hurt by that. I would be too if my dh didn't get me anything at all. My dh HATES buying gifts more than anything but you know what he does it anyway and tries to get me things that I like. It even means more to me as I know how much he despises shopping but still does it to make me happy.

lalakme
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Posted: 12/26/2012 9:02:08 AM


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Posted: 12/26/2012 9:16:37 AM

My husband's love language is not gifts, so no gifts for me. Im OK with that.


I'm sorry, but I truly do not understand this. I thought that the purpose of the love languages book was to figure out what the love language is of the people that you love! In other words, so that you can show your love in ways that please THEM. If gifts aren't YOUR love language, that's one thing, but I can't understand giving a guy a pass because gifts aren't HIS love language.



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Posted: 12/26/2012 12:03:13 PM
Mine made me card... With a little help from DS. He got an A for effort.
Unfortunately it has an IOU for one of two things. My choice. The problem is my sister bought me one of them and the other is permanently sold out.
DH is really disappointed


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petesmom
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Posted: 12/26/2012 12:21:26 PM

because he was modeling the wrong way to treat women to their teenaged sons


This. Please, if you ladies choose to continue the charade of your marriage then go ahead, but these words say it all so plainly. Teach your man how to treat you, so your sons know how to treat their wives. Be the one who stops the cycle.

I have no idea how so many of you have and put up with such unhelpful, selfish, uncaring husbands. I'll never understand it.

scrapcreator
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Posted: 12/26/2012 12:36:49 PM


Dh and I have cut back on our gift giving to each other. This year we decided to shop online together and got each other exactly what we wanted.

I did surprise him with a Trains, Planes, and Automobiles DVD - his favorite movie on VHS was worn out.

Jeanne



shutterbugmom27
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Posted: 12/26/2012 12:42:53 PM
My husband is a scrooge. He can't stand Christmas for the most part. I do all of the gift buying and wrapping and decorating. He hangs one strand of rope lights on our patio to appease me LOL. I love him dearly, I just wish he was more into the holiday. I don't get gifts from him for Christmas or birthday or anniversary or valentines day. He is just not a gift giving type of guy. If I want something, I get it for myself. It would be nice to have something to unwrap though.


Heather
Married mom of 4



kryssy
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Posted: 12/26/2012 1:02:37 PM
This is definitely one issue a couple needs to agree upon...

DH and I don't exchange gifts, and we haven't in many, many years. Honestly, we are doing well if we get our crap together enough to get gifts for our kids and extended family, so adding the time and pressure of getting gifts for each other has gone out the window -- gladly!

But it has to be an agreed upon system, or it won't work.


Kryssy


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And I bite my thumb at you.
Methinks the ducats in my purse are sorely lacking,
And I bite my thumb at you
And at her, too.
Were I but richer, I would be her suitor
Is this not a patent fact?
Though it pains me to the quick, I will salute her still
The aforementioned way: I bite my thumb.

canadianscrappergirl
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Posted: 12/26/2012 1:16:46 PM
LOL@ what a dick my sentiments exactly!!!

melodyesch
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Posted: 12/26/2012 1:24:26 PM
Yeah, this is something I will never understand either. How can a husband just sit there on Christmas when he and others are unwrapping gifts and watch you open NOTHING. And then for wives to excuse it by saying it's "not his thing." But yet I'll bet he unwraps and accepts everything given TO him.

We make gifts lists for his side of the family (at their request) and sometimes he coordinates with them to buy me stuff off of my list if he is unsure or he'll come up with stuff on his own. Sometimes he misses the mark, but he really puts thought and love into it. He wraps them, labels them and puts them under the tree and fills my stocking. I would be so hurt if he gave me NOTHING.

{Betsy}
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Posted: 12/26/2012 2:35:37 PM
My ex certainly was! He wanted me to get him lots of presents and would tell me what he wanted, none of which he wanted once he had them. Did he get me anything? No! He was worse than a Scrooge!



momstime
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 12/26/2012 2:50:56 PM
Listen up...really listen...YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU!!! and THE MOST POWERFUL ROLE MODEL IS THE SAME SEX PARENTS!!! (Yes, I watch a lot of Dr. Phil lol)

But seriously...your martyrdom and your husband's douche baggery is doing two things to your children, assuming you have one or more:

1. Teaching your son that he doesn't have to give a tinker's whip about his wife. She will (or should be able to) settle for nothing.

2. Teaching your daughter that her husband does not have to make any effort in the marriage, that she has no voice that is heard, that it is just better to smile and act happy than to actually BE happy.

Unacceptable!

For the record, I am so sad for you...but only to the point that you make an effort to change things/better things for yourself. I detest martyrs. (My mother was/is a martyr)




luvmythree
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Posted: 12/26/2012 5:59:07 PM
I'm hardly a martyr. Lol


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Posted: 12/26/2012 7:48:13 PM
Mine is kind of a scrooge. We each bought eachother two gifts. Mine were a 10K gold rope chain that he bought at Kmart, and I told him that I didn't like Kmart jewelry because of it's poor quality. Sure enough, the clasp broke when I tried to put it on yesterday, he had to take it back to exchange it. He asked me about Kmart jewelry and I'd told him that I didn't like the quality of their items. I also got a cross pendant with a gold-filled chain. That's not something that I can wear everyday because its so delicate that I'm sure the metal would bend. I told him I wouldn't mind a few new charms for my Pandora bracelet but that obviously fell on deaf ears.

I got him a new leather tri-fold wallet, which he needed and a good brand too, Swiss Army. I also got him a Steelers sign for his 'man cave'. He got mad because he said he spent more money on my gifts and said I spent less than $20 on his! Um, not quite!! I spent $ on our son. When I asked him what he wanted, he didn't tell me anything! Just giftcards.



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