What's normal for couples with kids?

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Posted 12/28/2012 by Kerri W in NSBR Board
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PeaNut 159,331
July 2004
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Posted: 12/28/2012 9:39:12 PM
When I was growing up I remember my parents going out on either a Friday or a Saturday night at least once a month, often two. Usually with another couple.

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PeaNut 522,402
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Posted: 12/28/2012 10:27:30 PM
We're in our low/mid 30's and our kids are still on the young side - 7, 4, and a toddler. The last time DH and I "went out" alone was to run a 5K on Thanksgiving morning. We were with family and the kids were all sleeping when we left. Everyone joked that we didn't actually run the 5K, just made out in a car for an hour. In fact, that was the first time we'd been out without the kids in a year. The only time we've ever been away overnight was two years ago for a job interview out of state.

By the time we pay a sitter to watch three kids for a few hours, pay for dinner and then whatever other date night activity, we've dropped at least $100 on one night. I don't know that I would want to spend that kind of money on one night and be with another couple the whole time. And I highly doubt we'd be out until 2am either way. Honestly, I'd rather be at home eating stovetop popcorn on my couch watching a movie with my DH while the kids play in their playroom. And I'll save the other $99 for a vacation.

We socialize with friends with the kids along. Or DH will go out with his friends and I stay home with the kids or vice versa. We're part of a supper club with several other families - some with kids, some without - and we have themed potlucks once a month.

So, another tally mark in the fuddy duddy column.

Manic Mom of 2

PeaNut 274,243
August 2006
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Posted: 12/28/2012 10:56:11 PM
We are in our 40s and our kids are 8 & 9. We are more apt to socialize with other families rather than go out by ourselves. We don't have family nearby so going out as a couple necessitates a sitter which are strangely hard to come by around here! On occasion, our kids will sleepover at a friends house and we do try and capitalize on that by doing dinner and a movie, by hardly ever with another couple. I am more social and go to parties (lia Sophia, pampered chef, etc), book club, fundraisers, gno. Dh is less so, but does the occasional sports bar or poker night. We have Fridays off so we often do lunch dates while the kids are in school...we have managed a couple of weekends away when dh's parents visited and watched the kids for us. I consider us pretty fuddy duddyish!

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PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
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Posted: 12/28/2012 10:57:52 PM
Never. DH and I don't do double dates. We have, on occasion, gone out as a group with my friends so another couple, our single friend, and sometimes the one friends' adult children

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PeaNut 530,601
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Posted: 12/29/2012 12:12:57 AM
Some say boring like its a bad thing! I like 'boring' just fine. I get plenty excitement from a book I've been waiting months to read. Or a twopeas order! or a movie I've been wanting to watch. 'Going out' isn't my type of excitement(it was in my teens but not since I had kids).

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PeaNut 393,905
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Posted: 12/29/2012 12:22:17 AM
DH and I are in an odd kind of situation.

He travels between Florida and Illinois for work and is in each place for about 3 weeks at a time.

When he is back home with us we always take some time for just the 2 of us to go out. We don't frequently do the double date thing, though.

If you figure hes only home for about 21 days at a time.....
1 night for the 2 of us
My kids go to their dads about half of that time
He only sees his son about half of that time
He works late into the evening a couple days each week

We like to have a lot of family time so going out with other couples isn't a priority for us right now.

Before he started the work schedule hes doing now we did go out with other couples maybe 4 or 5 times a year, though.


PeaNut 393,905
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Posted: 12/29/2012 12:23:07 AM

We have 4 boys
2 are 13 yrs old
9 yr old
4 yr old


PeaNut 273,273
August 2006
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Posted: 12/29/2012 1:16:19 AM
you're not! my husband and I rarely go out together with friends. I tend to work pretty late so when we do go out as a couple, it's been planned far in advance.

pynk E

PeaNut 48,314
September 2002
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Posted: 12/29/2012 1:30:55 AM
We almost never go out with other couples. We are kind of eccentric, enjoy being home, a bit antisocial, and so we find it more enjoyable to be alone.


PeaNut 153,017
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Posted: 12/29/2012 5:51:47 PM

makingmemories..have you looked in to respite care for your kids?
or a private nursing agency that could come in for a few hrs a month??

I haven't. I guess I didn't really know it was an option, except that you're the second person this month that has mentioned it to me, so I will have to google it. If it is something covered by my insurance maybe I will call and see how it works. So, thank you!

ostrich girl
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 288,003
December 2006
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Posted: 12/29/2012 6:29:57 PM
We are in our 40's with a 12yo DS. We go out with friend's/other couples about every other week, or at least go out by ourselves. We are very social people. We go to concerts out of town, dinner club, GNO/BNO things, and just about anything else!

When DS was younger we did lots of family things, parent's and kids combined. Now we sometimes let the kids hang out together and we go and have dinner/drinks.



PeaNut 298,188
February 2007
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Posted: 12/29/2012 8:37:42 PM
I gave that up when I had my son. Been there, done that. I'm focusing on being a mommy, not a partying mom.

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