Tell me it's okay to not have a guest room.

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Posted 1/13/2013 by Jen in NCal in NSBR Board
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PeaNut 169,795
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Posted: 1/14/2013 4:52:31 AM

Even though we have a guest room which I may add does not get used very often other than the grandsons sleeping over, I don't think that you really need a room set aside for this purpose only.

I would like to put in a Murphy bed to have sleeping accommodation when needed but use the room for a small sitting room with a second tv in it. Still trying to convince DH that it is the way to go!

I have a dedicated craft room and he has his own study/office so we have plenty of room.(empty nesters now).


PeaNut 458,516
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Posted: 1/14/2013 5:16:59 AM
Your house, you pay for it, your life. You will use a craft room more often, I guess.

We are a couple in a 4 bedroom house. We have a guest room, but it's tiny, and we have a lot of books, so a full wall in there is taken up with shelving. We bought an airbed from Costco, which is pretty comfortable, and it goes in there - just.

I would either do that, or get your parents hotel bookings. If they are comfortable enough to tell you they don't like the bed you have at present, you could probably have a discussion about hotels and splitting the bill, for example. Or give them a hotel stay for Christmas. Or get a sofa bed and give them pyjamas for Christmas! However you look at it, you should use your house in the way that makes you happy.


PeaNut 574,604
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Posted: 1/14/2013 7:12:12 AM
We don't have one and it's largely on purpose to discourage certain family members from visiting and never leaving because they'd never give up free digs. They're too good to sleep on a couch, but not too good to mooch for months at a time in a nice bedroom with a closet, lockable door, and attached hot shower.


PeaNut 31,845
March 2002
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Posted: 1/14/2013 7:21:53 AM
Back when I had one kid, we had a guest room for a few years and although it was used semi frequently, I changed it so a smaller bed and my craft area could fit in there.

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PeaNut 175,985
November 2004
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Posted: 1/14/2013 7:35:18 AM
I am sorry, I would not expect older people to sleep on air mattresses.


Captain K

PeaNut 247,594
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Posted: 1/14/2013 7:40:55 AM

The OP has a name. It's even in my Pea Name. I don't hide behind an alias. Sorry, but that is one of my buttons on this board.

Jen in NCal, (holy shit, what a thing to get pissy about)

I think it is reasonable to ask your parents to wear something when they are staying at your home. Just tell them, "We've had to re-arrange our guest arrangements. We can either let you have our room and we'll take the fold out/air bed, or you can take the fold out/air bed in the living room. Both of these would mean you need to wear pajamas. If that doesn't work for you, I totally understand if you'd prefer to stay at a hotel."

You know, that brings up a good question. Why don't you just ask them if they have an opinion of if they'd rather stay on a double/queen fold out or airmatress or stay at a hotel. If they pick a hotel, then you don't have to worry about it. If they say they'd prefer to stay at your home because the hotels are not convenient, then you have lots of good options here on this thread.

We're all here speculating, but like with many threads, if people would just talk to the other party instead of asking strangers, they'd get a real picture of the other person's feelings and thoughts on the matter.

Now -- if your real goal is to get them not to stay with you anymore, that's a different question. As a couple of other people have said, they don't have a guest room because they don't want guests. Is it that you just want to better utilize the space the rest of the year? If so, then you can certainly do both a guest bed in some form and have your craft room. If the real hidden agenda is to get them to stop staying with you because you are annoyed by their complaints/nudeness/whatever, then I guess your real question is if it is okay to be selfish and ask your parents not to stay anymore.

With all of your 'reasons' you can't fit them into your 4 bedroom home, I am getting the impression that it's the latter.


PeaNut 51,706
October 2002
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Posted: 1/14/2013 7:55:35 AM

If you don't use it, you don't need it. Why keep a room that might be used every few years? Enjoy your space! And who cares if you have 10 rooms and it's just the two of you. Live the way you see fit.



PeaNut 217,769
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Posted: 1/14/2013 8:01:23 AM
I kinda took over my SD's bedroom. She stays with us maybe once every 3-6 months. Half her room used to be our office until we remodeled and added an office to our first floor. So I took it over as my craft space.
I say go for it, you'll be glad you did.

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 31,617
March 2002
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Posted: 1/14/2013 8:07:53 AM
We just built a house and do not have a guest bedroom. For the rare times when we have guests, I make my kids bunk together (oh, the horror!!) and put the guests in one of the kids' rooms. I think you need to come up with some sort of plan like this for when guests come; I like this idea:

You could have a day bed with a trundle (I despise sofa beds, personally)
It's actually what we had in our former house; I converted my guest room to a craft room and used the day bed/trundle like a sofa.

My girls are older and I am anticipating an empty nest soon so it just didn't make sense to spend square footage on a guest room.

BTW: our house has three bedrooms, three and a half baths; with a small exercise room off the master and a loft office. So if/when we sell, there's still PLENTY of rooms to sell.

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PeaNut 224,352
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Posted: 1/14/2013 8:28:05 AM
Totally okay! I am not a huge fan of houseguests, I would rather pay for a hotel and keep our routines unchanged at home 99% of the time.

Dog people are a special breed!

mama nay

PeaNut 191,474
February 2005
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Posted: 1/14/2013 8:38:47 AM
It's totally fine to not have a guest room. I turned what would/could be the guest room into my scrap room. If someone really needs to stay over there is always the couch or gasp the floor with an air mattress. I see no reason to dedicate a room to guests unless you have guests regularly. Aka more than once or twice a year.

It's your home, not a hotel. Plenty of people stay in hotels. And honestly I'd prefer a hotel to staying with people. Maybe your parents are the same way.

~~Mama Nay~~


PeaNut 541,069
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Posted: 1/14/2013 8:50:21 AM
We have 3 kids in a 5 bedroom house with no guest room. We have the master, each kid has their own room and I have a craft room. We don't have out of town guests often, but when we do our older dd sleeps in our younger dd's room on the bottom bunk. Our older dd has a full sized bed and a large room so it always works well for us.


PeaNut 169,727
September 2004
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Posted: 1/14/2013 9:38:59 AM
Good, it isn't just me! I have a 5 br house and no guest room. I couldn't stand a room we didn't use. We have a kids library/study room that we are putting a good fold out couch in. When company comes my son stays in the library and the guests in his room since that room has the double bed in it. Hasn't been a bit of a problem (other that getting him to clean the room before company comes!). I have another bedroom as my office/craft room and need that space to escape.

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PeaNut 25,270
November 2001
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Posted: 1/14/2013 10:08:41 AM
When I read your OP my first thought was that it would hurt your parent's feelings and make them feel like you didn't want them to visit. Now that I have read your second post I have changed my mind. My husband & I visit our children, in SF, several times a year. They have offered to put us up in a hotel but I like to be there when the kids wake up. I may feel different when they are older. We sleep on a blow up bed. Your situation is different. I think if you offered to pay for the hotel, they might not mind it, especially if you get them a room with a king bed.

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PeaNut 142,266
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Posted: 1/14/2013 10:10:25 AM
I think it just depends on your parents.

If they would be happy staying at a hotel or don't mind sleeping on a foldout couch, then you don't need a dedicated guest room.

Honestly though, I like privacy and I like to sleep in a comfortable bed. I probably wouldn't visit someone too often if they had a four bedroom house and didn't have a comfortable bed in one of the rooms for guests. I would just assume that they didn't really want overnight guests.


Ruby Slippered Pea

PeaNut 74,765
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Posted: 1/14/2013 10:22:04 AM
It's your house, do whatever you want with it.

Years ago I got rid of the bed in my guest bedroom and turned it into a scrapbook and craft room that both my daughter and I enjoy. We love hanging out in there together crafting, reading or her doing homework at her craft table while I'm doing something in there. To me this has served much more purpose than if I had just kept it as a seldom used guest bedroom.

Since I got rid of the bed about 10 years ago, my parents have only been to visit us once and have never come back. I don't think they liked having to stay in our kid's rooms. Our kids have very comfortable full sized beds so there was plenty of room and comfort for them, but they just didn't appreciate losing "their" bedroom, I guess.

Its not something I regret doing one bit, though My parents are just showing their true colors that they think they are too good to be staying in children's (teens) bedrooms.

Jen in NCal

PeaNut 175,686
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Posted: 1/14/2013 10:30:31 AM

If the real hidden agenda is to get them to stop staying with you because you are annoyed by their complaints/nudeness/whatever, then I guess your real question is if it is okay to be selfish and ask your parents not to stay anymore.

With all of your 'reasons' you can't fit them into your 4 bedroom home, I am getting the impression that it's the latter.
Nothing could be further from the truth. We are very, very close to my parents. We have traveled extensively with them to Europe. I would love it if they came more often. That was going to be the plan when my dad retired. They would be coming out a few times a year. In fact, if I really take a deep, hard look at it, part of me is pissed that I am keeping a room for people that don't use it. I know I have issues around this. My parents are so quick to visit a couple of times a year the kids with grandkids, but never come to visit the one that doesn't. However, that's a whole other therapy session.

Someone else mentioned having no place else for friends to stay if, say, we needed someone who partied overnight to sleep. That would imply we have a social life, which we don't, but we do have a couple of air mattresses and a really comfy couch. So we could handle friends. But parents are a different story. They can't sleep on a mattress in the middle of the floor. And I wouldn't want them to.

I would love to set up a beautiful room with a lovely Murphy bed, but the floor space wouldn't accommodate one. And while DH and I would have no problem with separate beds, and I would love a room with a wrought iron trundle , I'm not sure they would. But I will for sure ask. I like that idea a lot and it would totally fit with my idea for the room.

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PeaNut 62,328
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Posted: 1/14/2013 10:41:30 AM
no need for a guest room.

u could also give your parents your room when they come visit. Just an idea.

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PeaNut 526,561
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Posted: 1/14/2013 10:46:02 AM
I made our guest room into a craft room and put a double sofa bed in it. Most of our friends and family are local, so it works well for us. We rarely have over overnight guests and if we do, they tend to head home in the morning.

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PeaNut 158,945
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Posted: 1/14/2013 12:13:46 PM
I think a trundle bed would be difficult to get in and out of,
for older people.

We have found, too, that access to a bathroom is important
for our ILs. I'm not sure they like "sharing" a bathroom with
our two boys--they are used to a small master bath at home,
available to them at any moment.

Sounds difficult to get the size bed they need in the room
you have for it.


PeaNut 142,266
April 2004
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Posted: 1/14/2013 12:13:47 PM

Hey, you know how you've mentioned a number of times that the queen bed doesn't work well for you because of the knee and shoulder thing? Well, we're doing some rearranging and I'd like to figure out what might work best for you to sleep on." Then give them a couple of options.

I think this is great advice.


Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 171,221
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Posted: 1/14/2013 12:21:26 PM

I'm surprised so many people think you should have a guest room/area that will only be used a couple of nights a year if that. Seems a waste to me. However, a murphy bed would be nice if you can swing it.

I don't think most people are saying they should have a dedicated guest room. I think most people are saying that in a 4 bedroom house with only a married couple there, they should be able to find some space to accommodate their parents as guests. It doesn't have to be a dedicated room, but some sort of arrangement should certainly be possible in a 4 bedroom home so that when guests do come, a few things could be pushed out of the way and a bed folded out/down.

The OP jumped straight from guest room to putting them in a hotel. There is a happy medium where they can host their parents but also use the room for a different purpose most of the year.



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PeaNut 183,099
January 2005
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Posted: 1/14/2013 12:25:47 PM
It's OK if you're tight on space. But in your situation, I'd find it unwelcoming. I like the idea of combining it with the work-out room! Perhaps when visitors are there, you could move a piece of equipment to a different room, allowing a bed to pull-out.

I may be different, but I LOVE having a guest room. I've made it available to friends and family and enjoy being able to tell them they are welcome to visit anytime and make use of the room.

scrappin jen

PeaNut 111,615
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Posted: 1/14/2013 12:35:07 PM
Use rooms rooms the way you see fit. BUT I do think the right thing to do when you have guests ( you parents especially) is to give them your master bedroom to use while they are there for the short visit. Win-win- you don't look selfish but you get to have all the space the way you want it. I wouldn't ask my mom and dad to stay at a hotel when they visit so rarely as it is.


PeaNut 434,842
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Posted: 1/14/2013 12:40:44 PM
I think someone mentioned this already - why not just let them have the master bedroom when they visit, and you and DH could sleep on an air mattress in your craft room.


PeaNut 562,204
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Posted: 1/14/2013 4:36:10 PM
To me, having a guest room has always seemed like a luxury item--a whole bedroom just for the occasional guest! I'm luck to have enough room for the people who actually live here every day.

I would personally love to have one, but it would get used a lot more than once a year--in addition to our out-of-town family, my oldest son has friends coming through who stay here. Heck, I've even had friends sleep over, especially if we're drinking! It would be great to have a room to retreat to if dh or I were sick or one was snoring loudly. I could also see using it if one of the kids got sick in the middle of the night or had an accident. Clearly you don't have all of those uses, so it's even MORE of a luxury for you. Even with all of those uses I would get out of it though, the utilitarian part of me would probably still have to make that room a guest room, slash "something else". Clearly space is at a premium in our house.

I agree with the people (sorry, I hope it's okay that I'm not addressing them by first name ) who are saying, I would just ask your parents. If my parents (or really any visitor for that matter) wanted to stay at my house, even with no guest room, I would make space. I have had one of my kids give up a room or dh and I have even given up our own room and slept on couches. I think there are lots of options besides staying in a hotel, unless that's where you *want* them to stay.

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PeaNut 34,268
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Posted: 1/14/2013 4:51:38 PM
We turned our fourth bedroom (which is the only one on the main floor) into a pantry/laundry room ... way more practical and now if anyone sleeps over they are on the sofa bed in the family room ... no big deal ...


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PeaNut 158,945
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Posted: 1/14/2013 4:57:07 PM

They normally pop up to the same height as a day bed or other twin bed. At least the ones I've seen.

Oh, I thought they just slid out from under and were barely off the ground.

Spare rooms are great to have, and for us (with relatives who visit) it's handy.
If everyone visited at one time, we would have to have our boys camp out
in the family room (and give up their full beds). But we have a queen in
the spare room for the ILs.
(For us, I think it's more of the bathroom that's the issue. We *could* give them
our room and master bath if needed.)

I know it's not your first choice to give them your room, but that would work
a few times a year ... and you purpose the other room the way you want.

Miss Lerins Momma
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PeaNut 151,660
June 2004
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Posted: 1/14/2013 5:00:20 PM
Get rid of the guest bedroom and get a pull out couch. For guests who only come like once a year, I'd use the space however you want and they can deal with a pull out couch for a night or two!!!

We have 3 bedrooms, DH & I share a room, the girls (we have 2) share a room and the third is a playroom/scrapbook room (more playroom right now). But I think this summer we're going to put the playroom/scrapbook room in the basement and I probably won't make a guest room out of the extra room. We only have guests maybe once a year if that (for one night) and someone sleeps in the kid's bed and the other person sleeps on the couch. I wouldn't want to waste the extra space for it only to be used one time a year!

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PeaNut 266,627
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Posted: 1/14/2013 5:30:57 PM
I have seen a very nice "air mattress" in the Frontgate is off the floor at the standard bed height and blows itself up. Google Frontgate Catalog and see if they still have it. When I saw it, I didn't think the price was unreasonable.

I've never had a guest room as we were a family of 4 with a small 3 bedroom house. And most of our family lives in the area.

But now that the kids are grown, I have one room that I'm going to put a full size bed (very small bedrooms!) to use for when one of them needs to DS works with my DH and on occasion when the weather is going to be bad, he will stay the night so he can ride to work with DH in a work truck.

Right now, all I have is a twin bed in my "craft" room. My DD used it last weekend as we were taking a short weekend trip and she could sleep later if she was here..

And the two smaller bedrooms would be unused if I didn't dedicate them to something...DH never steps foot in them. He sleeps on the couch in the den (his choice) and his computer is in what could have been a breakfast room.

I have to add, that if my parents didn't live nearby, I'd want to have a guestroom for them to stay in, even if it were once a year. When we visit my SIL and her family who live out of state, we stay with them and the best parts of our visit is the late night board games and the early morning chats in PJ's over coffee. That's when the true bonding happens.

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PeaNut 233,449
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Posted: 1/14/2013 5:42:37 PM
Totally fine! We have never had a guest room, except for the time when Finn was co-sleeping in with us and his bedroom had a queen bed in it that my mom stayed in.

In my scrapbook room we either have a good quality air mattress or, now, a twin mattress that I put in there. I make a little nightstand with stacked books and put a lamp in. It's not a full guest room but there is plenty of space for guests to stay. We so rarely HAVE anyone staying with us that it doesn't really matter, honestly.


PeaNut 191,190
February 2005
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Posted: 1/14/2013 5:46:50 PM

When we still had kids at home, and did not have a guest room, we would offer our master bedroom to the guest and we slept on the sofa bed.

This is what we do. We have out-of-town guests that stay a night or two, four or five times a year on average. We have them stay in our room and we sleep on the sofa bed. Our bed is comfortable and our master bath is much nicer than the one our kids use.


PeaNut 380,976
June 2008
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Posted: 1/14/2013 6:49:34 PM
Nix the guest room and on the occasion they do come...cross the bridge when you come to it

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PeaNut 298,188
February 2007
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Posted: 1/15/2013 8:41:00 AM
I don't have a guest room... it's my craft room and It's totally OK to not have a guest room!


PeaNut 577,311
January 2013
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Posted: 1/15/2013 9:18:15 AM
It's perfectly fine to not have a guest room. My daughter and I live in a two bedroom house and the world hasn't ended. If we have a guest Lexi & I share a bed and they take her room. but like others have said, I think there's more to this than just not having a dedicated guest room.

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PeaNut 40,938
June 2002
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Posted: 1/15/2013 9:32:18 AM
My sis has a Murphy bed in her office. It is flanked by cabinets and has fake cabinet doors in it so when it's up, it looks nice, like a wall of cabinets. She pulls it down a couple times a year when someone comes to stay. Instant guest bed and your parents won't have to sleep in the living room.

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PeaNut 104,551
September 2003
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Posted: 1/15/2013 9:48:21 AM
She said she didn't have room for a murphy bed, especially a king sized one which is what they want.

My feeling about it is this, it's YOUR house. You pay the mortgage and the taxes on it. Do with it as you please. Growing up my parents didn't have a guest room. I didn't know one single person with a guest room and no one seemed worked up about it. We still had guests though (we had a pull out couch). I'm not sure why there's such an expectation now for people to make room in their homes for guests that only come a couple times a year.

We have a guest room now which has turned into a storage room. The only person that ever stays in there is my husband's granddaughter. We've decided to make it more dual purpose and put in a murphy bed, convert the closet to hold a small freezer and my husbands guitars/instruments, etc and then shelving for storage. If my annual guests don't like it, there's a fairly nice best western down the road 8 miles.


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PeaNut 570,639
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Posted: 1/15/2013 9:56:43 AM
I'd put a futon i the craft room.


PeaNut 294,285
January 2007
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Posted: 1/15/2013 10:38:42 AM

Ick, not a slide I want in my projector.


I vote for a Murphy bed in the exercise room. My MIL has one in her craft room and we use it every winter when we visit her in AZ. It works beautifully and I think is worth the $.


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