Murder trial begins............ (of DH's nephew) **UPDATE AT BOTTOM** with verdict

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Posted 1/15/2013 by BergdorfBlonde in NSBR Board
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BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/15/2013 11:41:20 PM
We waited almost 3 years for this trial to begin. DH's nephew was 43 at the time that his STBXwife murdered him in their home in NJ. She shot him 6 times and locked him in their bedroom and waited 5 hours until she called 911. Now the trial has begun (today) and we feel sick that we can't be there in his honor. Just praying for justice.









nettieintx
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Posted: 1/15/2013 11:43:21 PM
I'm so sorry. And pray at the end you can find some peace. What an awful thing to have to face.

NanaKate
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Posted: 1/15/2013 11:43:56 PM
I am so sorry. Prayers said for justice for your loved one.


Kathie


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megmc
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Posted: 1/15/2013 11:45:24 PM
terrible.


I hope that this over quickly for your family.

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/15/2013 11:45:27 PM
Thanks, Peas! Hard to sit by and watch a trial unfold when you know firsthand info that varies from how they're portraying it. It's so frustrating. We are hoping for closure or resolution in his honor.









BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/15/2013 11:52:23 PM
Nightowl: I'm so sorry. Hard to believe that something so horrific has happened in your family too. It will impact the family forever, I think, but if there's some justice it might help us all heal a tiny bit. That's what we're hoping for. No one is a saint, but killing someone is never the answer.









I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!

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Posted: 1/16/2013 12:01:46 AM
I'm sorry BB, I can't even imagine what it's like to go through something like that. I'm sure it has devastated both families...I also feel for the family of the perpetrator, I don't even want to imagine what it would be like to have given birth to, or be the sibling of someone who committed a homicide. Terrible for everyone involved.

I hope her conviction will help your family find some peace.

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/16/2013 12:07:42 AM
Thanks I-95. Unfortunately the murderer has always been a waste of time. Too long to go into, but she's been a detriment to her young children. She barely had any redeeming qualities, and her own family seemed to be just as disgusting. I don't feel sorry for any of them and I hope she spends the rest of her life in a jailcell. She's spent the past 3 years in the HOME that she murdered her DH in. She didn't even have an ankle monitor!!! The court assumed that since she has MS, she wouldn't be a flight risk. Hello? She murdered her husband--she admitted to it. That's not even in question. The whole thing makes me sick. They were in the midst of a divorce, and, yes, he was having an affair, but it doesn't justify his murder.









BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/16/2013 12:23:57 AM
Thank you, Nightowl, and I'm sorry if this is bringing up bad memories for you. Unfortunately I'm too aware of how the justice system works. I was a paralegal for over 30 years and my whole family is filled with lawyers. The perp is banking on her MS being her way out. It's worked so far. Nothing would surprise me. It's just all frustrating that we were the closest people to our nephew and yet we weren't called to testify. His family spent every holiday at our apartment. We had tons of closehand info. It will haunt me if we could have somehow helped but the prosecution team didn't think they needed our testimony. I'm praying they have it in the bag!!!









I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!

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Posted: 1/16/2013 12:29:02 AM

She's spent the past 3 years in the HOME that she murdered her DH in. She didn't even have an ankle monitor!!! The court assumed that since she has MS, she wouldn't be a flight risk.


That's disgusting!!! If they have already taken a soft stance by letting her go free while awaiting trial, you might want to prepare yourselves for an equally soft sentence. I'm sure her attorney will be having her show up in court looking like a sympathetic semi-victim, in order to get the sympathy of the jury and the court. Totally sucks.

And if her family is just as bad as she is, then I have a whole lot less sympathy for them. I was imagining them to be a normal, nice bunch of folks whose child committed a horrible crime.

GrinningCat
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Posted: 1/16/2013 8:59:47 AM
What a horrible thing to go through. It wasn't a family member, but I had to deal with a murder trial about 20 years ago for a classmate who murdered my friend (his sister and family). I still don't understand it. To be honest, the only thing I remember about the trial is walking into a high school classroom, hearing friends of mine (who were also friends with the murderer, something I didn't understand at the time and don't entirely understand now) discussing the trial with an instructor) and slamming my books down and walking directly to the councillor's office. Other than that, I don't remember anything about the trial, and only read parts of the trial within the last year and now wish I hadn't read those details. That case (and the others we dealt with in that time period) definitely defined me and defined my hardlined stance on guns. It's hard to get over that. And mine wasn't even family.

It's never easy. I hope you see justice.

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/16/2013 10:01:10 AM
I-95: Yes, that's what I'm thinking. I swear that her attorney put off this trial so that he could send her away (she supposedly had one UTI after another and was in a hospital for MONTHS!!) to have her lose a ton of weight and look pitiful. I'm not buying it!

Nightowl: Yeah, we'll have to check into being able to speak at the closing remarks. We're in FL and the trial is in NJ, but we'd be willing to drive there just for that.

What gets me is that we're able to dispute everything we've heard thusfar, and this is only the opening arguements!! The only people they're calling as witnesses are people directly involved the day of the murder. I was the first one his daughter called at 8 am, to come there, but I didn't pick up my phone (she had a flair for the dramatics, so I thought it was just another drama moment. When she immediately called DH, I knew it was something serious!). Again, I wish we could give our input as to how the family operated on a whole, since we were the only ones so privvy to that, but I guess they don't care.

Our case sounds too much like your aunt's. The murderer didn't deny it. It happened with the kids only a room away. One of the bullets actually was found in the wall between their bedroom and their daughter's bedroom! This murderer told their (then) 13 year old daughter to go back to bed, when she got up upon hearing some yelling and then shots like "a bb gun". She saw her dad on the floor of his bedroom, making gurgling sounds, and the mother said he was just "drunk" and she should go back to bed. She was up in her room the entire night, shaking, not knowing what to do. Her young siblings (7 at the time) also woke up and came into her room for protection. The 7 year old daughter was so upset that she was vomiting the whole night. It's all so disturbing. We were the ones who showed up at the house and took immediate custody of the kids. And, yes, they were bounced to a few relatives' houses too. We're out of touch with them now, as they moved back to NJ and live with their grandmother. From all i hear, they're doing much better, but I'm sure this will set them back a long way!

GrinningCat: Thank you for your comment. My mind was already firmly set against guns, as I was shot when I was only 13 and suffer the repurcussions of that daily. The bullet is lodged in my brain and gives me a daily reminder of it with intense pain. NO GUNS for me. When our nephew showed me their collection of guns (1 each), it made me sick. He assured me that it was locked and only he had the key. The ammo was in an entirely different room, with its own lock. Still, the wife hired a locksmith and opened the box. She prepared for this. I know it. She even tried to ask a "friend" if she could buy a gun from him for her own protection (the husband was going away a lot at that point) against intruders, and her gun wasn't heavy-duty enough. I don't know which gun she used for the murder, but it makes me sick. MAYBE if there were no guns in the house, he could have lived. I think he could have feigned off almost any other attack. But she shot him in bed while he was asleep and then emptied the gun into him until she rendered him helpless. I have no doubt this was planned.









purpledaisy
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Posted: 1/16/2013 10:05:55 AM
I'm sorry. May justice be served!


Becca

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Mewcat
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Posted: 1/16/2013 10:10:45 AM
[[Hugs]] I hope and pray that justice will be served soon!


~*Melissa*~

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/16/2013 10:19:41 AM
Thank you Mew and Purple.









jjpswife
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Posted: 1/16/2013 11:08:01 AM
Hoping for justice for you and your family.

I was wondering if she was in jail this whole time and I see that she hasn't been. That is truly awful.

Wishing you all peace and comfort as you make your way through this next huge step.



fishwitch
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Posted: 1/16/2013 11:16:30 AM
Hoping that your family gets justice for this horrible tragedy.


~~Melani....once upon a time I was Sailorslady, now I'm just the fish

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/16/2013 11:25:47 AM
Thank you, jjp. Yup, she's been out on bail, sitting in the house that she killed him in. Neighbors have seen her driving to the liquor store and to WalMart to buy cigarettes. She's healthy enough to do that but yet the Court didn't deem her as a flight risk. It boggles my mind!

Thanks, fishwitch! Supposedly this is going to be a quick 2-4 week trial, so I'll update the outcome here.









Really Red
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Posted: 1/16/2013 11:44:21 AM
I am so sorry. This must be so hugely stressful.


Andrea

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newlywoods03
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Posted: 1/16/2013 11:46:56 AM
I'm so sorry and pray that would you have peace once this is all over...

I'm appalled that she currently isn't sitting in a jailcell. Has she spent anytime in jail?

Big hugs to you and your family!





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BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/16/2013 12:13:11 PM
Thanks, red.

Newly: Nope, no jail time. She's been out, on bail, at home, for almost 3 years. Not even an ankle monitor!!! They think that b/c she has MS and has a wheelchair (she's able to walk,believe me!!!) that she wasn't any "risk," although they KNOW she killed him and she admitted it.









UkSue
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Posted: 1/16/2013 12:31:19 PM
I have been reading a report of the opening statements of the trial and I have to say, it reminds me of the twisted opening statements of the Casey Anthony trial.

I will pray for justice in this case, OP.


It's not the passage of time that heals. It's what you do with that time.

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/16/2013 12:36:24 PM
Thanks, UKsue. DH and I could dispute so many of the statements already said. It's so frustrating to us. I'm sure it'll get MUCH worse.









transprntbutterfly
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Posted: 1/16/2013 2:26:48 PM
I am so sorry. Praying that justice is served and that you and your family find peace when this is over.

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/16/2013 2:35:32 PM
Thanks butterfly.

Nightowl: Both sides had their opening statements + the prosecutor already called their first witness (the cop on the scene). You're right--we should somehow contact the prosecutor's office with our daily thoughts on what we hear & the inconsistencies. I'll try to find the contact info now. Thanks.









BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/31/2013 7:47:03 PM
VERDICT TODAY: Guilty of 1st degree manslaughter. Thank you to all of the Peas for your prayers and good thoughts, from the moment of his murder, to this day. Finally she'll be in jail, where she belongs and we could begin to heal.









jjpswife
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Posted: 1/31/2013 7:50:22 PM
That is really really WONDERFUL!!!! So happy your family got some justice. Thanks for updating!!!



BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/31/2013 7:51:11 PM
Thank you, Kathy!









rosiekat
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Posted: 1/31/2013 7:58:36 PM
I know it's not a fix, but I'm happy to hear that justice is finally being done (as much as it ever can be). Hoping you and your entire family can begin to find some peace.


Jen


Really Red
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Posted: 1/31/2013 8:03:06 PM
YAY! I honestly didn't think justice would be done from what you wrote. Am so happy to hear it as been. Those poor kids. I hope you are able to find some peace. Glad to hear a murderer is behind bars at last!


Andrea

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revirdsuba
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Posted: 1/31/2013 8:04:12 PM
I just read it. Good news!! Bail revoked too.

redboots
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Posted: 1/31/2013 8:06:08 PM
I know it's not much consolation, but I'm glad that your family has received some small measure of justice. I hope this will help you all as you heal from such a tragic loss.

When is her sentencing? Do you know how much time she is facing?

BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/31/2013 8:07:46 PM
Thanks so much Peas!! Her sentencing is not until March 15th, I believe, but at least she's finally going straight to JAIL and not sitting in the home she killed our nephew in!!









lucyg819
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Posted: 1/31/2013 8:14:55 PM
I'm sorry for your family's loss but glad to hear she's been convicted. Hopefully she'll receive a long sentence.


LUCYG
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BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/31/2013 8:17:34 PM
Thanks, LucyG. We hope so too! I never want to think of her being able to get out of jail or contacting any of us ever again.









fishwitch
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Posted: 1/31/2013 8:45:49 PM
I am so glad your family is going to get some justice BB.


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KatieBPea
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Posted: 1/31/2013 8:45:57 PM
I'm glad for your family that justice was served and hope that she receives a long sentence.


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freecharlie
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Posted: 1/31/2013 9:37:36 PM
I'm glad the right verdict was reached. I hope it allows your family to heal.


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modie-may
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Posted: 1/31/2013 9:42:50 PM
I am so pleased to hear this. May he now rest in peace xx
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BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/31/2013 10:05:04 PM
Thank you so much, Peas! We'd be celebrating in one way or another, but DH is on the verge of getting admitted again to the hospital. It never ends.........









Mary Kay Lady
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Posted: 1/31/2013 10:08:43 PM

I'm so glad to hear that justice has been served. I realize that it doesn't bring back DH's nephew, but at least it does help to give some closure to this terrible chapter of your life.


nettieintx
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Posted: 2/1/2013 12:21:26 AM
I'm glad to hear the good news and she will now go to jail where she belongs!

I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!

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Posted: 2/1/2013 1:26:08 AM
Hey BB, I'm glad to hear she was convicted. Please update when she is sentenced. A conviction is a good thing, but I'd like to know she's going to do serious time for this.

pmk1977
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Posted: 2/1/2013 1:26:20 AM
So pleased to hear that you finally have a verdict.

Hope your dh is ok?

Grate
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 2/1/2013 2:03:13 AM
Glad to heart here was a convection. Hope this brings your family closure. It is so hard to move on when there is none.

pelirroja
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Posted: 2/1/2013 4:30:07 AM
Congratulations on the conviction: I know it sounds shallow because you'd rather have your nephew. At last, justice is here.

Prayers to you and your family. There is no way to erase the past but may the verdict be a cornerstone in rebuilding your future. I'm so sorry for your loss and the circumstances surrounding the situation. ((hugs))

Are you able to attend the hearing March 15th or prepare a statement for testimony before the sentencing?


Pelly





maryannscraps
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Posted: 2/1/2013 6:18:09 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss -- and that you had to go through this horrible thing.

I'm glad that she was convicted. Hopefully she'll be put away for a long time. And thankfully the justice system worked.

Again -- so sorry this all happened at all.

transprntbutterfly
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Posted: 2/1/2013 6:42:03 AM
Thank you for updating. I am so glad to see she was found guilty. Hopefully your family can begin to heal once she is sentenced.

Cake Diva
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Posted: 2/1/2013 6:49:09 AM
Thanks for the update - I'm so glad to hear she has been found guilty.


Kellie

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UkSue
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Posted: 2/1/2013 8:46:12 AM
I'm so pleased to read that she is going to jail. It doesn't negate what she has done, but at least she has now lost her liberty, and will have plenty of time to contemplate what she did.

Best wishes for all of you and prayers that proper healing can now begin.


It's not the passage of time that heals. It's what you do with that time.
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