Update...OMG.... my friend went to get a massage and told her she was too fat

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Posted 1/21/2013 by WorkingClassDog in NSBR Board
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WorkingClassDog
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:06:54 PM
The interview was canceled due to a shooting (guess that is more important... will let anyone interested know when rescheduled.)
-------

From my friend:

"I went to my massage appointment at xxx place and was told, by the owner, that they couldn't do my massage because I'm too fat for their tables!! I stormed out of there crying my eyes out. I called back and was told their tables will accommodate 350-400 lbs which I am NO WHERE near!! I'm mortified!"

My friend was so embarrassed..... what kills me is that yesterday she just finished her first 1/2 marathon.... She ran the entire route. She got back into town last night and all she wanted was a massage cause she was sore...and they tell her that!

She is NO WHERE near that weight. She is very tall.. about 6'3 but I know her weight isn't that high....I mean not even close...




amamapea
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:10:00 PM
Oh that is horrible...

justalittletike
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:12:25 PM
Ok I am not being mean but does she know how much she weighs, like really knows and not guessing?

I am only asking because at 6'3 if she is overweight she may be surprised by how much she actually does weigh.

However that would be hard to take in but would be much more embarrassing if the table collapsed under her or she was hurt.

Although that is an awful lot of weight. My friend though is 5'9 and weighs 260 and I would never guess that. She just looks thick to me.


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Peabay
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:13:32 PM
That's awful. How humiliating.



FarmDPea
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:18:37 PM
Is she sure it was the owner? What a terrible way to be treated.



*Erin
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:20:48 PM
Oh no, how awful for her.

Justalittletyke, I think it would be close to impossible for a 350lb woman to run an entire half marathon. I doubt she's anywhere near that weight.

WorkingClassDog, congratulate your friend for her half marathon finish for me. It's a big accomplishment!



purpledaisy
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:22:24 PM
I'm sad for her! That is a shame!


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justalittletike
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:32:37 PM
You never know. I just asked. I have seen/ heard of weirder things.

Although if anything they should have asked her not assumed and turned her away.


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WannaPea
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:34:06 PM
I'd love to know what "xxx" place was. What a horrendous way to treat a customer. Wow.


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Dalai Mama
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:35:18 PM
ouch!


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WorkingClassDog
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:38:53 PM
She know exactly how much she weighs. We are in the same running group and we have a trainer and all of us know exactly how much we weigh... we are living it day to day.

It was definitely the owner. She called back to talk about it, and yeah it was the owner.

It was an ouch to her self esteem.... she has really worked hard and floating on air until that moment. Just finishing that race is awesome and to turn around and say your too fat.. yeah I would be crying as well.




OSUBuckeyeFan
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:38:55 PM

My friend though is 5'9 and weighs 260 and I would never guess that. She just looks thick to me.


That is my height and weight at my heaviest before gastric bypass surgery and no one would've EVER guessed I weighed that much because my height and build allowed me to carry the excess weight well. Even when I was pregnant with my son, I didn't need maternity clothes until I was into my 8th month.

But for them to say that to her is just RUDE! Do they have a scale to weigh the heavier customers? If so, I'd go back and DEMAND to be weighed. OR stop in at the Dr's office and have the nurse write my weight on a piece of letterhead.




WorkingClassDog
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:40:09 PM
It was a local place.....



Christine58
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:43:20 PM
Do they have a facebook page?? I'd be all over it....



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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:43:54 PM
I'd publicly state who it was. I say it often, but Yelp is a great place for this. Mind you, Yelp is also a great place for positive feedback as well.


Well Peas, I believe this thread has gone Thrusday.
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WorkingClassDog
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:47:55 PM
Natural Healing Center
Aurora, Colorado

Their Facebook page hasn't seen much traffic, well until today.



justalittletike
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:52:47 PM
It would kill my self esteem too. I was just clarifying for sure she knows her weight and wasn't guessing.

I still think it would hurt my feelings even if I was over weight and it was policy.


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simplekelly
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Posted: 1/21/2013 2:55:52 PM
That's terrible. I'm so sorry. She needs to get on Facebook and yahoo and anywhere you can rate a business and factually share her experience.


best,


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justalittletike
AncestralPea

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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:00:08 PM
I'm just saying before the peas go blow up this business owners Facebook and potentially ruin her business just remember this was not your experience not do you know first hand or the person it occurred too.

No offense OP.


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WorkingClassDog
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:02:04 PM
Between her, her mom and friends, we are all posting and calling and whatever to spread the news. It's just not right. Let's just say even if there was a weight limit, there are ways to go about it nicely. The owner could have done something instead of kicking her out of the shop...



justalittletike
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:03:36 PM
I agree she should at least change her tactics.


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batya
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:03:42 PM
Oh dear. I'm so sorry for her. I am 5'7" and 137lbs. I assure you, I cannot run a half marathon. Good for her!


OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.




SharlaG
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:04:40 PM
I remember seeing an article in a massage magazine about accommodating larger clients. It talked about lowering the table, I remember.

If the owner has a weight limit, she needs to screen for that when the appointments are made.







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Woobster
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:09:13 PM
I don't understand why they don't just keep a scale in their shop. If there's a concern about someone's weight, they just have them step on the scale to verify.

The business handled it extremely poorly. I feel so bad for your friend.

justalittletike
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:11:31 PM
Woobster- I imagine people would find that just as offensive

"How dare you question my weight!"


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Jillsie Pea
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:16:19 PM

The owner could have done something instead of kicking her out of the shop...


Did they ask her to leave? Or did they explain the weight issue and she left upset? Because the way I read this, they were hostile toward your friend by "kicking her out of the shop".


I called back and was told their tables will accommodate 350-400 lbs which I am NO WHERE near!


Wonder why she just didn't tell them she didn't weight that much when she was there? I'm sure they would have been happy to know this and they could accommodate her and keep her business... considering this economy. No? Yes?

Kudos to her for running a marathon

doesitmatter?
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:18:33 PM
What did they actually say to her?


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bridgyree
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:34:42 PM

Wonder why she just didn't tell them she didn't weight that much when she was there? I'm sure they would have been happy to know this and they could accommodate her and keep her business... considering this economy. No? Yes?


If it happened how the OP said and they weren't polite enough to ask but just stated that she was too large, there is no way in hell that place would get my business. I wouldn't be kind enough to them to try to explain things and give them my business.

And I don't understand why if there is a weight limit they don't ask on the phone. I had a MRI about two weeks ago and they asked me my weight and height over the phone. I wasn't offended. It was a medically necessary procedure so I had to answer whether it bothered me or not (which really, I don't care). If I was going in for something "extra" like a massage and they asked and it bothered me, I just wouldn't go.

vamrobie
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:46:14 PM
How awful for her!! I can't imagine someone saying that to a client. Maybe the better business bureau?


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PierKiss
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:53:23 PM
Wow. That's shitty.

If there is a Massage Envy in the area I highly recommend them (they are a chain). I have had nothing but great experiences/service there.



not2peased
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:00:53 PM
I can absolutely understand your friend being very upset but it can be hard to estimate how much someone weighs and the owner could have made an honest mistake. your friend could have discussed the situation and if the owner still refused to give her the massage then I could see being angry. if something happened to your friend during the massage it could cost the business owner her livelihood-it makes sense to be cautious.

I don't think people should try to blow up someone's business based on third hand information-especially when the person in question didn't have a rational discussion about the situation with the owner and give her an opportunity to make the situation right.



-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

doesitmatter?
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:05:30 PM
Wondering exact what was said because there is a clear difference between, "I am sorry we are unable to accommodate you" and if pushed "because our tables and masseuses cannot properly accommodate your size" than "hey you're too fat". So to me it mattered what was specifically said rather than the embarrassment and emotions of your friend- which may not represent what was said or happened.


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KittenOnTheKeys
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:05:55 PM
If a business like this have a weight limit, they need to announce it up front. Maybe "We are sorry but due to the limitations of our tables, we cannot accommodate customers over XX pounds". You say that in your ad, on your window or something, but NEVER wait until they walk in and assume.



emmafrost
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:14:13 PM
I was once told by a former professional masseuse that larger people were easier to massage than thinner people because the weight on their limbs do most of the work. That guy was very sweet and sooo handsome, his wife made him quit lol. That is a shame that your friend was treated badly though. I hope that she finds a more reputable and friendlier business to patron.







MrsScrapDiva
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:17:20 PM
Ummm for anyone who is defending the massage place - look up massage tables. Most at minimum hold 600lbs, some go up to 2000. (static vs working weights) I think this is a bullsh!t excuse and the person didn't want to do the massage or they have a cheap a$$ table. How unprofessional and disrespectful. You would think a place of business that called "natural healing" and offers nutritional counseling would be accommodating to all body types.

I am sorry your friend was treated that way. Ladies - don't let companies, or so called professionals bully you. Everyone deserves good healthcare and wellness no matter size, height, color etc.

WorkingClassDog
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:24:44 PM
Well new update.. one of the news stations got a hold of the story..so we will see what happens.

Like I said there are ways to be nice about it. But for someone to leave in tears...not right.

Natural Healing... doesn't that sound like a place of peace, relaxation, etc. Not going in and making you feel like crap. Whatever your weight is.

This is something I have feared in the past with my weight. What if I can't fit in a chair, an airplane seat, a carnival ride, a horse back ride, etc. I have avoided anything that would call any attention to my weight. (I am doing much better now, but that fear will always be with me, if I am 200 pounds or 100 pounds) But going into a massage place, I wouldn't have thought that my weight would be that much concern. And in fact it wasn't.. I have had at least 1/2 dozen massages at a higher weight and it's never been discussed.



WorkingClassDog
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:33:02 PM
From my trainer posted on Facebook... He's awesome...

Kevin Torres and 9NEWS (KUSA), Susie Wargin (these are local newscasters that knows our trainer and did a story on last year and will again this year for a big marathon in Denver) ....did a piece on my group Overweight to Endurance Athlete Personal and Endurance Training last year. I have a good human interest story for you.

One of my clients completed her first half marathon this weekend, battling against all odds to complete the 13.1 miles. She has battled weight issues and to date has lost over 40 pounds.

To celebrate her accomplishments, she scheduled a massage today at the Natural Healing Center where the owner promptly embarrassed and ridiculed her in public telling her she was "too fat" to fit on their massage tables and would break them. When she called the clinic after the fact, an employee advised her that the tables will hold up to 350 pounds. She is 6'5" and weighs way less that 350 lbs. I would love to give her the dignity she deserves on her accomplishment by letting others know of her battles. Thank you in advance! Laura, we are proud of you and please don't ever let the words of a shallow individual keep you from reaching the goals you no doubt can achieve!



merlot1024
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:34:55 PM
How humiliating.


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Rainy_Day_Woman
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:54:48 PM
As a massage therapist, this makes me so angry. That is no way to treat anyone.

I see so many clients who fumble over themselves apologizing for their cellulite, or their weight, their eczema or not shaving their legs. I see so many clients, especially older women who have finally "bit the bullet" and booked a massage because they are desperate for relief, and have been so embarrassed to go for a massage that they have suffered unnecessarily for so many years.

As a professional- I don't care if you are 20 or 200 pounds over weight, I don't care about your stretch marks or your hairy legs. My ONLY concern is that together we can figure out a treatment plan that will make you feel better, physically and emotionally. Being critical and insensitive like this clinic is not how you treat people. Not clinically, and most certainly not as a person. I hate that this story will be one more reason that someone who needs treatment will be embarrassed to go and continue being in pain.

Honestly, I have never run across a client who exceeded my table weight. Any good table usually supports a stationary 450 pounds PLUS working weight. I think the table I have supports 750 combined. And yes, I have a few clients who are larger, and I lower the table for them, but that is to optimize on MY body mechanics as it's very hard to regulate your own pressure if you are working on a table that is too high. I've never really thought about what I would do if I had a client that I knew would actually exceed my table weight. I have mats that we do Thai massage on, and I guess I would work on them that way. What I would NEVER do? Send them away because they are *too fat*. As therapists, we make all kinds of accommodations for pregnant clients, clients with recent surgeries, heart problems, broken limbs. There is no reason at all for this woman's response.

I hope that people realize that not all therapists would treat someone like this.

gar
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Posted: 1/21/2013 5:06:21 PM


I can absolutely understand your friend being very upset but it can be hard to estimate how much someone weighs and the owner could have made an honest mistake. your friend could have discussed the situation and if the owner still refused to give her the massage then I could see being angry. if something happened to your friend during the massage it could cost the business owner her livelihood-it makes sense to be cautious.


So it's ok for the professional to wrongly assume a clients weight and instantly alienate her yet the client could still 'beg' for her to reconsider!!!

I don't think that version is conducive to a relaxing and successful treatment do you?



Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


batya
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Posted: 1/21/2013 5:27:10 PM
Rainy Day Woman, you sound wonderful.


OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.




not2peased
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Posted: 1/21/2013 5:35:47 PM

So it's ok for the professional to wrongly assume a clients weight and instantly alienate her yet the client could still 'beg' for her to reconsider!!!

I don't think that version is conducive to a relaxing and successful treatment do you


I think sometimes people make mistakes out of ignorance, misunderstanding,etc she could have genuinely thought the woman was too large for her table. that doesnt make her evil-it makes her ignorant. perfect opportunity to TALK about the situation

this woman's livelihood is being totally blown up over the third hand story of someone who didn't even try to communicate with the person in question to try and resolve the situation

just because her feelings were hurt doesnt absolve her of the responsibility of at least attempting to discuss the situation in an attempt to resolve. instead she went off half cocked and blew this up

way to handle your problems--of COURSE the woman HAD to be just a straight up bitch with a problem with fat people

she very well could be but the story the OP told was BULLSHIT-a lot of assumptions were made and I don't think that's very fair.

no wonder so many of you cant seem to go to frigging walmart without having some sort of altercation orn argument-you go off half cocked and make all kinds of assumptions. It's hard for me to believe that people actually conduct themselves in this manner on an everyday basis but I see the proof right here-day after day.


-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

not2peased
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 1/21/2013 5:35:55 PM

So it's ok for the professional to wrongly assume a clients weight and instantly alienate her yet the client could still 'beg' for her to reconsider!!!

I don't think that version is conducive to a relaxing and successful treatment do you


I think sometimes people make mistakes out of ignorance, misunderstanding,etc she could have genuinely thought the woman was too large for her table. that doesnt make her evil-it makes her ignorant. perfect opportunity to TALK about the situation

this woman's livelihood is being totally blown up over the third hand story of someone who didn't even try to communicate with the person in question to try and resolve the situation

just because her feelings were hurt doesnt absolve her of the responsibility of at least attempting to discuss the situation in an attempt to resolve. instead she went off half cocked and blew this up

way to handle your problems--of COURSE the woman HAD to be just a straight up bitch with a problem with fat people

she very well could be but the story the OP told was BULLSHIT-a lot of assumptions were made and I don't think that's very fair.

no wonder so many of you cant seem to go to frigging walmart without having some sort of altercation orn argument-you go off half cocked and make all kinds of assumptions. It's hard for me to believe that people actually conduct themselves in this manner on an everyday basis but I see the proof right here-day after day.


-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

FarmDPea
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Posted: 1/21/2013 5:40:56 PM
Let's start a fund to send the OP's friend to visit Rainy Day Woman.



Free~Bird
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Posted: 1/21/2013 5:51:45 PM
I want rainy day woman to be my massage therapist.
FYI, I've never had a massage.


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Free~Bird
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Posted: 1/21/2013 5:51:47 PM
I want rainy day woman to be my massage therapist.
FYI, I've never had a massage.


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Posted: 1/21/2013 6:15:44 PM
First, {{Hugs}} to your friend, many people in the para-medical fields as well as actual Healthcare Professionals are just prejudicial jackholes. Anyway, let me know what City (or area) and State she is in and I will ask the Size Acceptance Group for recommendations as many of the extremely large women have co-morbidities like Lymphodema as part of their health issues and utilize massage as part of the treatment. I love massages but because of my Diabetic Neuropathy, I literally hate to be touched some days.

And if she is going to be doing marathons, she might want to check out Massage Therapy and Physical Therapy schools in the area because might be less expensive or free. One of my co-worker's daughter had do a certain number of massages as part of her certification and was willing to give ANYONE who wanted a massage one so that she had experience with all body types and massage techniques.









Creativegirl
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Posted: 1/21/2013 6:18:40 PM
Did they actually say "too fat"? Or was it "too big" and maybe they were referring to her height? I guess I'm searching for an explanation because I just can't believe they would be that insensitive!

I'm so sorry for your friend- I know what it's like to worry about being too big and being embarrassed about it, so I can imagine how humiliated she feels.



Anna




benem
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Posted: 1/21/2013 7:03:13 PM
I think we all need to know what place this was so we can avoid it.


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Enough
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Posted: 1/21/2013 7:13:13 PM
The people who are trying to damage a business's reputation based on a third hand account and without hearing the other side of the story, should stop and think a minute. What if it was your business and the Peas were attacking your reputation without knowing ALL the facts. Because face it, you don't.


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