Update...OMG.... my friend went to get a massage and told her she was too fat

Two Peas is Closing
Click here to visit our final product sale. Click here to visit our FAQ page regarding the closing of Two Peas.

Posted 1/21/2013 by WorkingClassDog in NSBR Board
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 >
 

Nyxish
PeaFixture

PeaNut 265,518
June 2006
Posts: 3,143
Layouts: 1
Loc: mid New York state

Posted: 1/21/2013 7:17:20 PM
RainyDayWoman - THANK YOU for saying this. As another LMT, i am also horrified.




As a massage therapist, this makes me so angry. That is no way to treat anyone.

I see so many clients who fumble over themselves apologizing for their cellulite, or their weight, their eczema or not shaving their legs. I see so many clients, especially older women who have finally "bit the bullet" and booked a massage because they are desperate for relief, and have been so embarrassed to go for a massage that they have suffered unnecessarily for so many years.

As a professional- I don't care if you are 20 or 200 pounds over weight, I don't care about your stretch marks or your hairy legs. My ONLY concern is that together we can figure out a treatment plan that will make you feel better, physically and emotionally. Being critical and insensitive like this clinic is not how you treat people. Not clinically, and most certainly not as a person. I hate that this story will be one more reason that someone who needs treatment will be embarrassed to go and continue being in pain.

Honestly, I have never run across a client who exceeded my table weight. Any good table usually supports a stationary 450 pounds PLUS working weight. I think the table I have supports 750 combined. And yes, I have a few clients who are larger, and I lower the table for them, but that is to optimize on MY body mechanics as it's very hard to regulate your own pressure if you are working on a table that is too high. I've never really thought about what I would do if I had a client that I knew would actually exceed my table weight. I have mats that we do Thai massage on, and I guess I would work on them that way. What I would NEVER do? Send them away because they are *too fat*. As therapists, we make all kinds of accommodations for pregnant clients, clients with recent surgeries, heart problems, broken limbs. There is no reason at all for this woman's response.

I hope that people realize that not all therapists would treat someone like this.







.. .. ..

When I'm old, I don't want them to say of me, "She's so charming!", I want them to say, "Be careful, I think she's armed!" - G. Stoddart



peamac
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 340,335
October 2007
Posts: 6,352
Layouts: 3
Loc: Colorado

Posted: 1/21/2013 7:23:20 PM
You know, I can see how the OP's friend's height could be an issue. My BIL and his son are 6'6" and there are things they can't participate in because of their height- some amusement park rides are off-limits to them for that reason.

I could see if the massage tables weren't long enough that it could be a problem the owner would be concerned about (though I'd hope she explain it that way-- "too tall" is totally different than "too big".


PeaMac


Rainy_Day_Woman
AncestralPea

PeaNut 369,799
March 2008
Posts: 4,028
Layouts: 0
Loc: Canada

Posted: 1/21/2013 7:33:22 PM

You know, I can see how the OP's friend's height could be an issue. My BIL and his son are 6'6" and there are things they can't participate in because of their height- some amusement park rides are off-limits to them for that reason.

I could see if the massage tables weren't long enough that it could be a problem the owner would be concerned about (though I'd hope she explain it that way-- "too tall" is totally different than "too big"


I have a table extender and the only people I have ever had to use it on were 7' tall and up (I used to treat football players, so there were some really big guys!). I really doubt that's what they meant.

I would gladly treat her if she made her way up to me. It's just a long way to go for a massage.

deputydog
Chicks Dig Giant Robots

PeaNut 79,113
April 2003
Posts: 6,244
Layouts: 0
Loc: Pennsylvania Dutch country

Posted: 1/21/2013 7:41:01 PM
Another LMT here-- I'm shocked and appalled. I have never-- never-- in over seven years as a massage therapist known anyone who has done such a thing. Nobody that I know judges clients' bodies in that way. Nobody.

This is in no way representative of massage therapists, their attitudes, or their business practices. It's shameful.

Rainy Day Woman sums up my thoughts perfectly.

Margaret



luvmythree
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 223,222
September 2005
Posts: 2,894
Layouts: 47
Loc: Kansas

Posted: 1/21/2013 7:43:39 PM
Sorry they were so nasty to your friend. That's some shirty business practice and hopefully they change their attitude.


Kirsten mom to~
Alexandria 20
Ethan 10
Owen 8 CFC syndrome,cp 29.5 wk preemie
Expecting my first grandbaby May 2013!
Uploaded with iPhone client

nettieintx
PeaFixture

PeaNut 57,197
November 2002
Posts: 3,718
Layouts: 35
Loc: Living in Kim’s perfect world!!!

Posted: 1/21/2013 8:02:56 PM
If she was too tall they could have easily said I'm sorry but our tables are too short but let me give you a recommendation to so and so. I'm so sorry we hope to have longer tables in the future. Etc. I do love the LMTs discussing their appreciation for people and taking them as they are. That's awesome!!!!

TeamSteve
Don't shop...Adopt.

PeaNut 263,696
June 2006
Posts: 5,365
Layouts: 0
Loc: Home Sweet Home

Posted: 1/21/2013 8:06:43 PM
Wow, nothing like killing someones self esteem. That is just awful.



___________________________________________________________

While we may never
know the pain or
struggles of a rescue dog
the love they show
is unlike any other...

WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/21/2013 8:45:41 PM
I totally would have responded earlier but the board was acting up on me.. not sure if it was just me or what...

Rainy Day.. THANK you for that post...I would love to have you give me a massage!! and my friend of course..

Good news that another guy is going to treat her for free!! And also she is going to be on the news tomorrow night.. I will post it.

I just want to say yes this is coming from a second party. But I am not adding anything to the story. Those were her words, I didn't add my two cents. I have no reason to believe she is embellishing the story.

If the news is going to report it, I am sure they will contact this place for their side of the story.

I will update tomorrow!!



*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)

PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
Posts: 78,773
Layouts: 236
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*

Posted: 1/21/2013 9:07:50 PM
"The people who are trying to damage a business's reputation based on a third hand account and without hearing the other side of the story, should stop and think a minute. What if it was your business and the Peas were attacking your reputation without knowing ALL the facts. Because face it, you don't.
"

I didn't see any mention of the business name. Therefore the OP was not trying to damage someone business.

OP: I am disgusted with his your friend was treated. It breaks my heart and makes he insanely angry


Bethie
proud Fiskateer #269
{My Blog}
*My Scraproom*
Uploaded with iPhone client

SDeven
Love Letters Pea

PeaNut 65,852
January 2003
Posts: 29,505
Layouts: 385
Loc: Nashville, TN!

Posted: 1/21/2013 9:41:21 PM
Better look again, Bethie.






Enough
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 553,030
April 2012
Posts: 2,637
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/21/2013 9:47:33 PM

I didn't see any mention of the business name. Therefore the OP was not trying to damage someone business.

Yes she did mention their name and their FB page is loaded with nasty comments. Many possibly from here.

myshelly
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 471,001
June 2010
Posts: 9,109
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/21/2013 9:51:23 PM
I think the owner must not check her Facebook page very often.


Which makes her a pretty big idiot in my book.



scrapmaven
PEA-T-A-Mom's kitteh is a fraidy cat.

PeaNut 90,665
June 2003
Posts: 16,522
Layouts: 0
Loc: Wherever my little mind takes me

Posted: 1/21/2013 10:06:17 PM
Rainy Day Woman, I wish I could have you for a massage therapist. Great attitude!


_____________________________________________________

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Enough
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 553,030
April 2012
Posts: 2,637
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/21/2013 10:24:52 PM

I just want to say yes this is coming from a second party. But I am not adding anything to the story. Those were her words, I didn't add my two cents. I have no reason to believe she is embellishing the story.


WorkingClassDog, Not saying you added anything to the story or that your friend is embellishing.
But the truth is, none of the people responding on this thread or the people trashing the business on their business page were there. Without hearing both sides, they don't know enough to trash this person's reputation. Could it be true, of course. But until the business has a chance to be heard, this is insane. I'll be looking forward to seeing the news tomorrow.

scrappincolleen
PeaAddict

PeaNut 426,629
June 2009
Posts: 1,278
Layouts: 13
Loc: Kenosha, WI

Posted: 1/21/2013 11:45:41 PM
That's horrible. I'm so sorry for your friend!

And a brief hijack...


Justalittletyke, I think it would be close to impossible for a 350lb woman to run an entire half marathon. I doubt she's anywhere near that weight.


Erin...Actually it isn't impossible. I have run 2 1/2 marathons around the 350 lb mark. Granted, I ran them slow compared to most runners, but I ran them It takes a lot of hard work and dedication. I was about 450 lbs when I started running. My profile photo is me at the finish of my 1st 1/2 marathon.


My Race Tracker!

5K's - PR 44:51
10K's - PR 1 hr 37
10 Mile - PR 2 hrs 40 min set 6/18/11
1/2 Marathon - PR 3 hrs 40 min

I can't believe I'm actually a runner now!!!!

And even better...I'm a tri-athlete!!!

Kelli/Mom
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 21,316
September 2001
Posts: 2,757
Layouts: 29

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:52:15 AM
I know right where this place is. It is close to the house I grew up in and not all that far from where I live now.

Channel 9 News? It will be interesting to see the story.

I can't imagine how your friend feels!

And Rainy Day Woman, I want to hug you. I always feel self-conscious when I go for a massage. I am a very average woman, but there is something about stripping down to my panties and climbing on a table that makes me feel vulnerable even when I know that it is all therapeutic. Reading how you feel about your clients is assuring.

gar
Whoopea!

PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
Posts: 15,755
Layouts: 0
Loc: England UK

Posted: 1/22/2013 3:38:50 AM

So it's ok for the professional to wrongly assume a clients weight and instantly alienate her yet the client could still 'beg' for her to reconsider!!!

I don't think that version is conducive to a relaxing and successful treatment do you
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I think sometimes people make mistakes out of ignorance, misunderstanding,etc she could have genuinely thought the woman was too large for her table. that doesnt make her evil-it makes her ignorant. perfect opportunity to TALK about the situation

this woman's livelihood is being totally blown up over the third hand story of someone who didn't even try to communicate with the person in question to try and resolve the situation

just because her feelings were hurt doesnt absolve her of the responsibility of at least attempting to discuss the situation in an attempt to resolve. instead she went off half cocked and blew this up

way to handle your problems--of COURSE the woman HAD to be just a straight up bitch with a problem with fat people

she very well could be but the story the OP told was BULLSHIT-a lot of assumptions were made and I don't think that's very fair.

no wonder so many of you cant seem to go to frigging walmart without having some sort of altercation orn argument-you go off half cocked and make all kinds of assumptions. It's hard for me to believe that people actually conduct themselves in this manner on an everyday basis but I see the proof right here-day after day.


Yes, people make mistakes out of ignorance but it is in the salon owner's interests to handle this correctly, to welcome her client and NOT to alienate her by making guesses about her weight. If she had doubts about the woman's weight she should have taken her to a treatment room to discuss it politely and privately.

My point is that the onus in on the salon owner, not the client to initiate that conversation.

Having said all that, I agree, we don't know all the facts, none of us were there and the salon owner hasn't been able to tell her side of the story. WorkingClassDog, I don't mean to say that I don't believe you, just stating the facts.

And I've never had an altercation in Walmart



Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!

PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
Posts: 20,385
Layouts: 0
Loc: California, NY & Orlando

Posted: 1/22/2013 3:56:14 AM
Looks like they removed their FB page.

I'm sorry your friend had that experience. Nobody deserves that.

5kids4me
PeaNut

PeaNut 91,167
June 2003
Posts: 196
Layouts: 2

Posted: 1/22/2013 7:49:04 AM
Rainy Day Woman....you are awesome!!! What a wonderful and caring attitude!! Wished there were more people like you in the world!

redboots
BucketHead

PeaNut 399,301
November 2008
Posts: 915
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/22/2013 8:27:24 AM
What, exactly, was said to your friend?

I am not willing to get up in arms (or publicly trash an establishment I have not personally patronized) without knowing exactly what was said.

To me, there is a huge difference between being told a facility is unable to accommodate someone due to their size and that same facility saying, "you're too fat for us to handle."

My guess is that your friend was embarrassed by what she was told, which makes it likely that she is reporting what she felt was said rather than what was actually said.
Uploaded with iPhone client

WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/22/2013 9:49:57 AM

What, exactly, was said to your friend?


I posted exactly what she told me in the opening. I don't know more than that. I am assuming we will find out tonight.

Also (for any local pea watching) it will be on Fox 31.. not KUSA Channel 9. Sorry if that was confusing. I believe both stations were contacted and 31 is the one that responded to her.

I know there is debate about "trashing" this company. My friend was told she was too fat for their tables, for me that is not a behavior from a business that I find acceptable. When my friend left the store in tears there is something wrong. I hope to hear what the owner has to say if she makes a comment. You just don't treat people that way.



KittenOnTheKeys
PeaFixture

PeaNut 498,237
February 2011
Posts: 3,407
Layouts: 0
Loc: SW

Posted: 1/22/2013 10:18:19 AM
I would love to hear how the owner responds to this.



WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/22/2013 10:26:31 AM
See by now if I was the owner of a store and knew someone got upset with something that happened like that, I would be contacting the client (I would assume she has her phone number since it is a set appointment) and telling her that I was sorry and try to make-up over what happened and not let it get this far in the first place. When my friend called the store back is where the owner (IMO) should have done something. (Then again, she might not think she did anything wrong either)...



ArmyWife0212
PeaWee

PeaNut 578,206
January 2013
Posts: 4
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/22/2013 11:12:39 AM
Hello. I am the person that was told I was ” too fat and would risk breaking a table.” Exact words. It was the owner that told me this. I was horrified. I am a bigger girl but not anywhere near the limit I was told their tables could hold. I left there crying. After I got home, I called back and asked what the weight limit is and was told 350-400. I am no where near 400! I was not asked how much I weigh either by the owner nor was it asked on the intake form I filled out. My mission isn't to ruin a business. I just want to keep it from happening to someone else. As of right now, I have NOT been contacted by anyone from this massage place. That speaks volumes to me, especially now that they've deleted their fb page, so they onviously know.

Jillsie Pea
We Will Never Forget

PeaNut 226,757
October 2005
Posts: 911
Layouts: 0
Loc: SouthPark

Posted: 1/22/2013 11:20:58 AM

Hello. I am the person that was told I was ” too fat and would risk breaking a table.” Exact words.


Why do special characters show up in this?

WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/22/2013 11:23:41 AM

ArmyWife0212


L... you found me over here!! I hope you don't mind me posting. I have been on here for years and years and shared your story...... hope I kept all the information correct....



Annabella
Leads a Charmed Life

PeaNut 43,843
July 2002
Posts: 44,159
Layouts: 46
Loc: East Coast

Posted: 1/22/2013 11:31:03 AM
How much do you weigh? As someone else said since your tall, your weight may not be guessed correctly by someone else.




WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/22/2013 11:31:53 AM

Why do special characters show up in this?


I think if you type your answer (like in Word) or copy it..sometimes the characters show up funny.



WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/22/2013 11:38:43 AM
Annabella.... if you were asking me how much I weighed I wouldn't be telling on a message board or to anyone else. I don't like to tell people my weight.

I will say for my friend (and since she has posted she can answer if she wants) but she doesn't have to answer that. I wouldn't.. Yikes I never reveal my weight to anyone even when I was skinny minny... which I am on my way back to.

But she isn't near the weight the owner said....



not2peased
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 260,865
May 2006
Posts: 13,518
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northeast

Posted: 1/22/2013 11:49:19 AM

Hello. I am the person that was told I was ” too fat and would risk breaking a table.” Exact words. It was the owner that told me this. I was horrified. I am a bigger girl but not anywhere near the limit I was told their tables could hold. I left there crying. After I got home, I called back and asked what the weight limit is and was told 350-400. I am no where near 400! I was not asked how much I weigh either by the owner nor was it asked on the intake form I filled out. My mission isn't to ruin a business. I just want to keep it from happening to someone else. As of right now, I have NOT been contacted by anyone from this massage place. That speaks volumes to me, especially now that they've deleted their fb page, so they onviously know.


did you cut and paste your post from word???

you had a responsibility to COMMUNICATE in an attempt to resolve the problem BEFORE you attempted to torch their livelihood

sounds like the business owner could have handled the situation a helluva lot better but just because YOU don't feel you look anywhere near 350lbs doesnt mean that the salon owner could have genuinely thought you did. this person COULD be a total bitch that hates fat people but you certainly didnt give her any opportunity to talk about the problem. if she had asked you to step on a scale before the appt no doubt folks would be up in arms about that. liability is a very real business concern and IMO, you can't blame someone for being concerned and erring on the side of caution.

and for the record, I am very, very sorry if you were indeed called "fat"-I am sure it was very hurtful but you handled it very badly yourself. two wrongs don't make a right, IMO.


-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/22/2013 11:58:47 AM
not2peased... you are on an agenda okay, fine, but why are you so cruel? There is obviously a situation that wasn't resolved. But you are bending over backwards to make this the client's fault.

Armywife... there are 'trolls' around here so basically ignore her because from the get go of this thread, she has not done nothing but make this your fault.

The owner has not responded once to her, shut down her Facebook page or said anything to anyone we know at this point. WHY is that? Why not call or email the client? Even to defend yourself. We are all waiting for it.



ePEAcenter
BucketHead

PeaNut 364,981
February 2008
Posts: 695
Layouts: 2
Loc: Texas Hill Country

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:01:54 PM
All we need is for the salon owner to show up here next and I'm going to make some popcorn...

Annabella
Leads a Charmed Life

PeaNut 43,843
July 2002
Posts: 44,159
Layouts: 46
Loc: East Coast

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:01:57 PM
WorkingClassDog - your friend is anonymous here, not a pea and no photo so I don't see the problem asking.




myshelly
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 471,001
June 2010
Posts: 9,109
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:05:42 PM

you had a responsibility to COMMUNICATE in an attempt to resolve the problem BEFORE you attempted to torch their livelihood




I don't understand why you feel like this responsibility is on the customer, not the business owner?






not2peased
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 260,865
May 2006
Posts: 13,518
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northeast

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:08:54 PM

not2peased... you are on an agenda okay, fine, but why are you so cruel? There is obviously a situation that wasn't resolved. But you are bending over backwards to make this the client's fault.

Armywife... there are 'trolls' around here so basically ignore her because from the get go of this thread, she has not done nothing but make this your fault.

The owner has not responded once to her, shut down her Facebook page or said anything to anyone we know at this point. WHY is that? Why not call or email the client? Even to defend yourself. We are all waiting for it.


I have an AGENDA?

the people who went off with no details and without hearing the whole story and tried to put this woman out of busines have the agenda here. certainly not me.

I said I was very sorry her feelings were hurt and I am genuinely sorry about that. however, grownups handle things in a grown up manner and use their communication skills to resolve conflicts and misunderstandings BEFORE they contact the news media and BEFORE they try to put someone out of business.

this could have been a badly worded misunderstanding but instead the court of two peas has determined this woman is guilty of fat bias and she couldnt possibly have had a good reason to deny the woman access to a massage. judge, jury and executioners, all with the flimsiest of "evidence" I agree this woman could be a complete asshole but NO ONE has proven that she is-yet so many of you found it necessary to try and destroy her fricking livelihood without a full understanding of the situation? without even discussing it with the person in question? who the FRIG operates their life this way?

it's appalling behavior and I'd be ashamed to act that way. it shows a decided lack of character. the same lack of character you are accusing this business owner of





-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!

PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
Posts: 20,385
Layouts: 0
Loc: California, NY & Orlando

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:10:06 PM

you had a responsibility to COMMUNICATE in an attempt to resolve the problem BEFORE you attempted to torch their livelihood


OK, I didn't see any of the comments on the FB page, and I'm not big on trashing someone's business, BUT....I'm not sure how much of an obligation this person (The offended party) had to resolve the issue. She had an appointment, for a massage, with a business entity. She was not asked her height and weight before the appointment, nor was she asked when she showed up for her appointment.

If you own a business that specializes in health and wellness, you ought to expect you are going to get some clients who are on the road to recovery, and some of them will be overweight. It is the business owner's responsibility to make sure her client is accommodated with the services advertised.

If the owner felt she could not accommodate the client for whatever reason, in this case, being overweight, then it's her JOB to inform the client in a manner that will not be harmful to the client's self esteem. At least if she values her business, she should handle it in an appropriate manner.

I'm not sure why a person, who is that rude and uncaring about her clientele, is even in the massage business. If she treats other clients like this, she doesn't deserve to be in business at all...but I don't think the insulted client has any obligation to resolve anything with the owner. If she had a bad experience there, there's nothing to stop her telling people about her experience. Savvy business owners are well aware of how much damage an unhappy client can do via the internet, and try very hard to avoid that kind of thing. Telling an overweight client she is fat and will break the massage table is just asking, no, it's begging for trouble.

ArmyWife0212
PeaWee

PeaNut 578,206
January 2013
Posts: 4
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:13:23 PM
How is it MY job to continue trying to communicate with someone that humiliated me? I called back to ask how much the tables can support. That would have been a great opportunity for them to apologize for this. But they didnt. Am I supposed to harrass them until they apologize? For the record, I typed the first post from my phone, sorry for the weird characters. Not sure why you care so much about the weird characters but there's your response.

Rhondito
MississiPEA

PeaNut 40,147
June 2002
Posts: 24,330
Layouts: 2
Loc: Flowood, Mississippi

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:18:15 PM

you had a responsibility to COMMUNICATE in an attempt to resolve the problem BEFORE you attempted to torch their livelihood


But she did try to communicate. She called the business back and asked about the weight limits. The person she spoke to surely knew who was on the other end of the telephone and she still did nothing to rectify the situation.

Also, I'm not sure how you think she is trying to torch their livelihood? Her friend (OP) is the one who posted the business name and location, therefore sending people to their FB page.
Unless you mean by going to the media?


Rhonda



Grate
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 156,877
July 2004
Posts: 2,840
Layouts: 0
Loc: NY'er now living in Europe

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:18:31 PM
how horrible for your friend. I hope she can find a way to not let it hurt her too deeply

Kelpea
Owner of "best tacky invitation" thread EVER

PeaNut 176,832
November 2004
Posts: 14,039
Layouts: 2
Loc: Stalking Dave Gahan

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:23:10 PM

OK, I didn't see any of the comments on the FB page, and I'm not big on trashing someone's business, BUT....I'm not sure how much of an obligation this person (The offended party) had to resolve the issue.


I'm sorry but I have to DISagree with this statement in this instance...if that had happened to me, I would have been in tears, shaking from either anger or mortification, or both, and NOT been able to have had a conversation with the owner in view of the fact that I was humiliated. The damage was horrific and frankly, I don't know many people who would have had the wherewithal to have conducted a rational conversation in the heat of the moment.



justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,506
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:23:11 PM
maybe I am a little skeptical or maybe I take phone calls from people that "change" there story from the time I take it to the time officers get there to "not exactly just like that but that is what they meant"


Army- she said exacty "too fat" to you? not anything else or something similar or that is what she meant... she said those exact words in that exact context?

just to straighten it out for everyone? and then you promptly left upset without clarifying why?

I am not saying you have to justify yourself or explain yourself. I would just like to be sure that is exactly what was said to you in those words and not something round about or similar and that was how you took it.



lucyg819
pearl-clutching nitpicker

PeaNut 201,774
April 2005
Posts: 16,721
Layouts: 15
Loc: gone to chemo with BethAnne

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:23:53 PM

did you cut and paste your post from word???

you had a responsibility to COMMUNICATE in an attempt to resolve the problem BEFORE you attempted to torch their livelihood

sounds like the business owner could have handled the situation a helluva lot better but just because YOU don't feel you look anywhere near 350lbs doesnt mean that the salon owner could have genuinely thought you did. this person COULD be a total bitch that hates fat people but you certainly didnt give her any opportunity to talk about the problem. if she had asked you to step on a scale before the appt no doubt folks would be up in arms about that. liability is a very real business concern and IMO, you can't blame someone for being concerned and erring on the side of caution.

and for the record, I am very, very sorry if you were indeed called "fat"-I am sure it was very hurtful but you handled it very badly yourself. two wrongs don't make a right, IMO.

none2peased, you cop an attitude like this every single time there's a weight-related thread.

No fewer than three professional massage therapists have posted on this thread that massage tables are sturdier than presented by the spa owner, and that they always look for other options that will work for the client if need be. You have chosen to completely ignore them.

If the facts are as presented by the OP and her friend, the friend did nothing wrong. She contacted the spa after the initial situation. The owner had every opportunity to put things right with her and chose not to. ETA It's the business owner's responsibility to at least pretend to be interested in the needs of the client and not vice versa. Otherwise, she leaves herself open to, yeah, complaints about how she runs her business.

You have no rational reason to side with the spa owner based on what we know than with the OP, and yet you always choose to come down hard on anyone you see as "fat."


LUCYG
northern california

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."
--Bertrand Russell



Annabella
Leads a Charmed Life

PeaNut 43,843
July 2002
Posts: 44,159
Layouts: 46
Loc: East Coast

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:26:56 PM
Are you calling not2peased a troll? simply because she doesn't believe the tale of someone online? She's a regular poster here, not a nasty one, and I thought her posts were fair in this thread.

ETA

No fewer than three professional massage therapists have posted on this thread that massage tables are sturdier than presented by the spa owner, and that they always look for other options that will work for the client if need be. You have chosen to completely ignore them.



No she didn't, she said there's a chance the owner just doesn't like fat people. She felt directing us to their facebook page to write nasty comments wasn't fair.




WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:27:01 PM
I-95 I couldn't have said it better.

So ditto.

I will say maybe it was wrong of me to post the name of the business. Someone asked, I posted. Wrong or right it's what I did.




Rhondito
MississiPEA

PeaNut 40,147
June 2002
Posts: 24,330
Layouts: 2
Loc: Flowood, Mississippi

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:27:37 PM

Army- she said exacty "too fat" to you? not anything else or something similar or that is what she meant... she said those exact words in that exact context?

just to straighten it out for everyone? and then you promptly left upset without clarifying why?


Because saying "you're too large", or "you weigh too much", or "you exceed our table weight limits" would have made it okay?


Rhonda



justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,506
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:27:56 PM
and just to be said, I would have left too but I would have jumped her ass in the store first



WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie

PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 16,052
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:31:23 PM
Anna... maybe troll was the wrong word. I am very familiar with her and her posts and from what I can remember she isn't always the nicest pea in the bunch. Correct me if I am wrong.



justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,506
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:33:00 PM
no Rhondito but all of those other options are much better than "too fat" and if in fact that is a true statement on the owners part or she believed it to be then yes those options would have been better. I think also a lot easier for her to defend herself had she chosen one of those options as well because there really is no polite way to say that to someone if they already have a weight issue and you are a buisness owner trying to break that news.

I don't like to hear weight words either but there are some words less harsh than others.



*Kath*
Official Time Clock of 2Ps

PeaNut 2,739
February 2000
Posts: 10,072
Layouts: 0
Loc: On a cruise ship fighting zombies

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:34:25 PM
ArmyWife, Congrats on your 1st 1/2 marathon. That's awesome!!


Welcome to the board.





--------------------
Welcome to Hotel California, the Green Room, where the laws of physics don't apply, effect determines cause, Deja Vu is Master, and the white rabbit runs free.

Your punch-in has been duly noted.



Rhondito
MississiPEA

PeaNut 40,147
June 2002
Posts: 24,330
Layouts: 2
Loc: Flowood, Mississippi

Posted: 1/22/2013 12:35:38 PM
Ah, okay. I see what you mean now.


Rhonda


< 1 2 3 4 5 6 >
Show/Hide Icons . Show/Hide Signatures
Hide
{{ title }}
{{ icon }}
{{ body }}
{{ footer }}