Update...OMG.... my friend went to get a massage and told her she was too fat

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Posted 1/21/2013 by WorkingClassDog in NSBR Board
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gmcwife1
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Posted: 1/23/2013 4:13:05 PM

So if your friend says xxx Restaurant has crappy food don't eat there. You wouldn't believe her? You would go there and try it for yourself? When my friend says she got crappy service at xxx massage, would I go find out for myself? Nope I would take her word on it. That's what friends do.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I probably wouldn't eat at this restaurant, but I certainly wouldn't trash it on Yelp, Facebook or anywhere else based on second hand information.

The patron has every right to provide a review of the services THEY paid for or the treatment they received.

What I have a problem with is friends, family and strangers getting up in arms and leaving negative reviews for a place they've never patronized, and about a situation they did not witness personally.

I think THAT is unfair to the business owner.


I'm with you Redboots and several others. I would make the choice to not visit this place of business, but I would not feel it was my right to complain about them if I was never a customer of theirs.


~ Dori ~

smilesnpeacesigns
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Posted: 1/23/2013 6:36:57 PM

Not defending the actions of the owner in the least but it does make me wonder if she uses cheap-ass massage tables? Or not ones that are meant to withstand what the LMTs in this thread have said?



I'm only on page 3 but this one kind of got me if that is the case and it might be *I* would say

" I am so very sorry, I just started my business and my equipment is not as sturdy as it could be. When I get an equipment upgrade I would be glad to give you a free massage but as of right now you could get hurt and I would be responsible for it would a free session at a later date be OK with you?"

Now back to page 3.


Even with the snark, trolls and spelling police you are a great group of ladies!

shannoninkc
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Posted: 1/23/2013 8:44:33 PM
good golly miss molly,

I love when my musings are categorized as things that make people really sad. Do things strangers say on message boards about "did they trash the company without proof!??" really make you sad? I mean really?

I mean, there are people with cancer out there.

(ahhh, yes, I just snorted with laughter!)

redboots
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Posted: 1/23/2013 10:44:30 PM

good golly miss molly,

I love when my musings are categorized as things that make people really sad. Do things strangers say on message boards about "did they trash the company without proof!??" really make you sad? I mean really?

I mean, there are people with cancer out there.

(ahhh, yes, I just snorted with laughter!)


Sad? Am I missing something? Who said your musings make them sad?


not2peased
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Posted: 1/25/2013 9:38:27 AM

Yet I do remember a thread a couple of years ago about a store that wouldnt sell a wedding gown to a lesbian couple, and people from across the country were trashing the store in a very vigorous and death threat kind of way, an orchestrated campaign to destroy not just the person's livelihood but also the person. And nearly all the posters were proclaiming that they felt it was just fine to have people with no connection but sympathy joining in a vicious campaign against the store, and hoped the store closed forever. So really, an opposite sentiment to what I'm seeing on this thread.




I never joined in on publicly trashing that business-I probably wouldnt go to a business that I had good reason to think was bad (for various reasons--one of which being I felt they were bigoted)but I would never trash said business on social media based on someone else's experience

I take my livelohood very, very seriously and it would take a pretty crappy experience to make me go to social media to complain/trash, someone else's livelihood-and that would only be AFTER giving said business the right to make it better. I am trying to think of a single time I used what I would call the nuclear option and I can't recall any. a midly negative review? maybe. if I have a customer service issue I address it with the company 99% of the time. sometimes I don't bother complaining and will limit or end my patronage of said business, but that's it. I might tell a friend or family member of my negative experience but that's about it.

with the advent of social media and the internet people have tremendous power and influence and I think it's incumbent on us to take it very, very seriously and use great caution.

not everyone feels that way and I think it's a indicator of poor character.


-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

justalittletike
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Posted: 1/25/2013 11:14:12 AM
I have a hard time giving negative feedback on etsy or eBay until I have fully contacted the owner with explanation and/or reasoning. I have very very rarely done it and I give it full detail but is has to be very very bad.

Like this but I don't know I still feel really she gave her option to explain or apologize and now it has gone so far I think it would be hard to even know where to start.


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not2peased
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Posted: 1/25/2013 11:28:22 AM

Kerry, it's nice to have points of agreement with you.


let's enjoy it while it lasts



-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

Enough
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 1/25/2013 12:25:38 PM
Nightowl scrapper,
I think the person who experienced the bad service has every right to shout it from the rooftops, discuss it on Facebook, tell the Peas about it, call the media, tell everyone she knows until her dying day. Nobody would blame her. And anyone who hears about it has every right to decide from what they heard not to patronize that business. Nobody would blame them.

What I have a problem with is all the people here, who didn't experience or even witness the bad service, ruining the reputation of the business on their business page based on 3rd party info. They are giving reviews they have no right to give. Reviews they don't have the knowledge to give.

not2peased
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Posted: 1/25/2013 1:09:32 PM

A few years ago I would have agreed with you. But not now, because people aren't responsible users of information. Yes, you have the "right" to spread the news of being wronged, but I don't think it's responsible to be spreading it in areas where you have no control over the additional spread to strangers who may use the info in an irresponsible way. As I said before, the spread from word of mouth is a whole lot smaller than that of the internet. We can't pretend that information will not be broadcast exponentially on social media and it's just the same as letting your closest friends know that you had bad service of some wort. We now better, and it's ingenuous to throw up our hands and act innocent when our complaint posted on FB goes viral.





good point-even if you don't ask people to jump on the bandwagon they might... definitely something to consider before trashing a business



-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

Enough
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 1/25/2013 1:10:41 PM

but I don't think it's responsible to be spreading it in areas where you have no control over the additional spread to strangers who may use the info in an irresponsible way.


Good point.


crafty_al
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Posted: 2/18/2013 10:14:16 PM
I live in the Kansas City Metro and our news station just ran a story about your friend.


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luckywife
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Posted: 2/18/2013 10:16:17 PM
What was the jist of the news story? Did the salon owner have anything to say?


Mrs. Steven Rudy


texgirl842
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Posted: 2/19/2013 12:47:55 AM
I live in the Houston area and it was on our news tonight. They did not interview the owner, it was just a video and the local news anchors telling the story.


Joy







Susie Pea
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Posted: 2/19/2013 1:28:27 AM
In the story I watched, the reporter mentioned that the owner didn't want to be interviewed on camera.

redboots
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Posted: 2/19/2013 1:35:04 AM

In the story I watched, the reporter mentioned that the owner didn't want to be interviewed on camera.


Was there any statement provided by the owner, or did the news report simply state that she declined to be interviewed?

gar
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Posted: 2/19/2013 1:40:48 AM
Well, an 'update' with no info

We need to know how the tale presented!



Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


.Megan.
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Posted: 2/19/2013 1:57:39 AM
I'm on my phone so can't link easily, but is this your friend?

http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/national/woman-denied-massage-because-shes-fat


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lovetodigi
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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:52:22 AM
They showed it on the Atlanta news the other night.




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StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:09:12 AM
I saw it on my newsfed from a local news station here in Milwaukee yesterday on FB.

Annabella
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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:30:28 AM
Did you see this comment underneath the story:


I'm sorry lady, but I think you are fudging on your weight. I'm 6'2" and know what I weigh...you weigh much more than 250lbs if you are that size and 6'3"! I am on the side of the business owner...would the customer have been happy to pay for a new massage table if she broke it? She'd probably sue the owner for 'injuring' her!




I'm sorry the owner had no tact and her story is supicious since other massage therapists in this thread said a table will hold 500 lbs. But I still stand by my original comment, I asked repeatedly what your friend's weight was to get a full picture of the incident but you wouldn't say. The article says:


She's six-foot-three and had massages even before she'd lost 47 pounds to drop to about 250



As I assumed before, I myself could not tell the difference between 250 and 300 on a 6'3 woman, as I assumed was the same with the business owner.




basketlacey
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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:31:27 AM
Here is a quote from the article linked above


Penny Wells, the owner of Natural Healing Center, wouldn't talk on camera, but she says she called Smith large, not fat. And she worried a table might collapse because one had broken under a 165 pound man.

Read more: http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/national/woman-denied-massage-because-shes-fat#ixzz2LM71s171



I am baffled how a massage place stays in business if they only offer massages to people who weigh less than 165 lbs.




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Posted: 2/19/2013 10:25:22 AM
Thank you, Megan, for posting that link to the news article.

This seems to be a case of one person's word against the other. However, according to the news article, the business owner claimed that a table had previously broken under a 165 lb. man.

I used to weigh 168 lbs. at my heaviest. At no time was I ever in danger of ANY piece of furniture breaking under me, unless it had been previously and badly damaged somehow.

Therefore, it sounds to me as though the business owner is either blatently lying, or else she allowed a very, very cheaply made and damaged table to be used without proper repair. I just can't believe a normal and well maintained massage table could break under a 165 lb. man. If weight were a question as far as her equipment, then scales should have been available, along with a posted sign above the scales that said, "We sincerely regret not being able to accommodate you at present but are working toward being able to do so in the future."

IMO, that massage business was probably doomed to failure. You never know when a new/potential customer will prove to be one of your biggest spenders. If you treat your customers well, they will come back again and recommend you to their friends, boosting your business. If you treat any customer rudely, she will also let her friends know about her bad experience. I will not buy a certain make of car, or ever consider an in ground pool by a particular company, because I knew people who been extremely vocal about how bad their experience was with those companies. Customers can be your best advertising, or they can minimize or even sink your business down into a hole too deep to climb out.

Not everyone is cut out to be a business owner, especially if they don't understand the importance of good customer service.


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justalittletike
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Posted: 2/19/2013 11:45:46 AM
Maybe it is a typo?

165 should be 265 or 365


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Edgy Coolness
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Posted: 2/19/2013 11:54:19 AM
For those of you wanting linkys:

woman-denied-massage-because-shes-fat

Here is a Facebook page that should vindicate OP, the family of her friend and all those Peas especially our Massage Therapists:

ABC15 Arizona: Facebook Woman too fat for massage

I think for those peas who were defending the owner of the place and saying that those peas who posted her information and the name of the place, you are sadly mistaken IT IS a Freedom of Speech right to point out the bad behavior of a business owner if for no other reason than to protect others who would be similarly treated.

Point in fact, just yesterday there was a thread by a Pea whose husband obviously practiced gender discrimination against female employees which is against probably both the State and Federal law where they live and she deleted her post and booked it when she realized how easy it is for people to do a few clicks and find out everything they need to know to report their business or specifically help the female employee successfully sue her husband for his legal business practices.

So to be blunt about the matter, the world where it was OK to be prejudice and discriminate against women, the LGBTQ, fat people, someone "you just don't like" is rapidly becoming a thing of the past and business owners especially should realize that their negative practices or those of their employees will put them out of business no matter how "great" they think they are. "Those Kind of People" these terrible business owners treat badly will no longer slink away ashamed because of the Business Owners Bad Behavior but make them pay dearly for it with 'the blink of an eye" in social media simply because it is easier and non-confrontational and when I tell one friend, they tell two friends, etc...

In closing, considering that we are becoming nation of "Fatties", one day there will be more fat people than "norms" and it will be those who were hateful when they were "acceptable" turn to be discriminated against because like the old saying goes, "Be kind to the people you meet on the way up because they are very likely to be the ones you meet on your way back down."









Susie Pea
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Posted: 2/19/2013 12:06:39 PM

Maybe it is a typo?

165 should be 265 or 365


The reporter in the interview said 165. I thought for sure it was wrong when I read it. Crazy, huh? That shop must use some cheap tables.


shannoninkc
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Posted: 2/19/2013 12:22:48 PM
Well, given that her shop can't even handle a "skinny" 165 pound man, I'd say the marathon runner was spot on. As far as I can tell, that woman should not be in that business. Edgy Coolness said it better than me....

Annabella
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Posted: 2/19/2013 1:14:53 PM

Maybe it is a typo?

165 should be 265 or 365

Let's hope that's the case. I'm not defending the owner, but I just don't understand the wrath of the woman denied a massage because of her weight.




justalittletike
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Posted: 2/19/2013 1:22:36 PM
165 seems crazy to me, weird.

I just can't wrap around this one.


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WorkingClassDog
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Posted: 2/19/2013 1:43:03 PM
It was not a typo.. It was said to the reporter.



dreamerpea
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Posted: 2/19/2013 2:55:20 PM
I saw this story on HLN this morning with Robin Mead.

Wow! Hit the big time!



Enough
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Posted: 2/19/2013 3:05:06 PM

I think for those peas who were defending the owner of the place and saying that those peas who posted her information and the name of the place, you are sadly mistaken IT IS a Freedom of Speech right to point out the bad behavior of a business owner if for no other reason than to protect others who would be similarly treated.
Nobody had a problem with the woman who experienced it sharing her experience. It became a problem when OTHER people, based on hearing only one side of the story, started trashing the business. That is wrong. Period.



shannoninkc
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Posted: 2/19/2013 3:17:39 PM

Nobody had a problem with the woman who experienced it sharing her experience. It became a problem when OTHER people, based on hearing only one side of the story, starting trashing the business. That is wrong. Period.


Actually, IF I was a business owner, this would never be an issue. That is because I understand in this day and age, that if you act like a jerk, (weather she said large or fat...the damage was done, she has poor cs skills.) your jerkiness is going to get spilled all over the internet and to friends, who will spill it all over the internet.

This could have all been avoided had the owner simply picked up the phone and apologized. THAT is running a good business. Period. (Does saying period mean no one can argue with me?)

And for the record, it seems like the owner doesn't want to share her side. Which is completely stupid and making things worse. Big companies actually employ people to watch social networking sites to avoid just this thing. This is the world we live in. Period.

Period.

Enough
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 2/19/2013 3:30:52 PM
Shannon, nothing you said, has anything to do with what I said.



shannoninkc
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Posted: 2/19/2013 3:33:01 PM
Who said I was talking to you anyway? period.

Everything you said, enough, makes no sense. period.

period.

Miss Ang
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Posted: 2/19/2013 3:33:33 PM

I just don't understand the wrath of the woman denied a massage because of her weight.
The fact that she was denied a massage because of her weight is not the issue. The issue is how she was treated.

Would you want to be told you're too fat for a business to provide a service to you? Would you want to be told that you're too ugly to sit in our restaurant?

I'm sure this was a delicate situation for the business owner but perhaps she could have used more tact when addressing the customer. And when you go by the interview where they say a 165 lb. person broke the table(?). What are they using as a massage table? A card table?


-Angela

Enough
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 2/19/2013 3:35:21 PM

Who said I was talking to you anyway? period.
If you weren't talking to me, why quote me and then respond as if you were.

shannoninkc
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Posted: 2/19/2013 3:37:26 PM
Because I can. Because I want to. Cause I have nothing better to do. Period. Period. Period.

bellstar
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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:15:44 PM
I'm sorry to hear that this happened to your friend and I understand her being upset but I don't think or feel that it was necessary for this to go to the media. It wasn't like she paid for a service that she didn't get. Even in those situations some people just let it go and take their money and spend it somewhere else. I don't think it is fair to potentially ruin a business because of her isolated incident. If it happens often enough then the business will implode on itself naturally. Just because her experience was bad doesn't mean that everyone else will have a bad experience.

gar
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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:34:23 PM

Would you want to be told you're too fat for a business to provide a service to you? Would you want to be told that you're too ugly to sit in our restaurant?


Apples and oranges. Ugly is subjective and doesn't cause damage. Weight is a precise things and could cause the table to collapse.



Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


lucyg819
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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:45:45 PM
So we're going with the theory that this professional massage place uses massage tables that collapse under the weight of a below-average male??


LUCYG
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not2peased
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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:12:06 PM
edgy has a major comprehension issue. why dont you go back and read what people wrote????


also, no one thinks the person who said 165 could have misspoke? they could have meant to say something else, right?



-Kerry


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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:20:09 PM

So we're going with the theory that this professional massage place uses massage tables that collapse under the weight of a below-average male??



Odd that a massage business would reportedly use such inadequate equipment, isn't it?


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redboots
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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:35:22 PM
The only two people who know what truly happened are the OP's friend and the person she spoke with at the massage place. At this point, the business has been trashed publicly and the owner may feel that no good will come of anything she says.

The customer claims she was told that the reason they couldn't accommodate her was because she is "too fat," which is a claim that I doubt, quite frankly. What is more likely is that the massage therapist used an euphemism that embarrassed and hurt the customer ("large," "overweight," whatever), and that the customer embellished the story to others.

Why is so much being made of the fact that the owner said her table wouldn't accommodate this woman's size? It doesn't sound like this is the most high-end place, and I've found that you definitely get what you pay for with a spa experience. The bottom line is that the business owner has every right to refuse service to anyone, and she felt that it was not in her best interest to serve this particular customer.

The customer also has the right to tell her story (as much as I doubt it) to anyone who will listen. I have no issue with her doing so. She tried to pay for a service and had the intention of being a paying customer. She has personal experience with the place.

What I have found problematic from the beginning is the fact that she got her mommy and friends to publicly trash a business that they had never personally patronized.

ilovecookies
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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:41:43 PM

What is more likely is that the massage therapist used an euphemism that embarrassed and hurt the customer ("large," "overweight," whatever), and that the customer embellished the story to others.

Why is so much being made of the fact that the owner said her table wouldn't accommodate this woman's size? It doesn't sound like this is the most high-end place, and I've found that you definitely get what you pay for with a spa experience. The bottom line is that the business owner has every right to refuse service to anyone, and she felt that it was not in her best interest to serve this particular customer.

The customer also has the right to tell her story (as much as I doubt it) to anyone who will listen. I have no issue with her doing so. She tried to pay for a service and had the intention of being a paying customer. She has personal experience with the place.

What I have found problematic from the beginning is the fact that she got her mommy and friends to publicly trash a business that they had never personally patronized.


ITA.

ahiller
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Posted: 2/19/2013 7:10:37 PM
The story was on our local news here in the Detroit area this evening.

justalittletike
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Posted: 2/19/2013 7:20:53 PM
Not2pleased that is my vote.

Or

media quoted her wrong. That never happens.

I don't know who is getting the story straight if either BUT I don't believe the accounts of the OP's friend honestly. I am sure the owner probably did something wrong too but I am just not believing the way this is going down.


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Annabella
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Posted: 2/19/2013 7:32:14 PM

Would you want to be told you're too fat for a business to provide a service to you? Would you want to be told that you're too ugly to sit in our restaurant?



Apples and oranges. Ugly is subjective and doesn't cause damage. Weight is a precise things and could cause the table to collapse.

I already discussed on page 4 this with the examples of SW Airlines requiring obese people to buy 2 seats.




Enough
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 553,030
April 2012
Posts: 2,637
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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:34:43 PM

Because I can. Because I want to. Cause I have nothing better to do. Period. Period. Period.
Obviously.

Edgy Coolness
PeaFixture

PeaNut 365,853
March 2008
Posts: 3,514
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Loc: Dallas, Texas

Posted: 2/20/2013 12:18:01 AM


Enough
PeaNut
553,030
April 2012
Posts: 144
Layouts: 0


Posted: 2/19/2013 3:05:06 PM


I think for those peas who were defending the owner of the place and saying that those peas who posted her information and the name of the place, you are sadly mistaken IT IS a Freedom of Speech right to point out the bad behavior of a business owner if for no other reason than to protect others who would be similarly treated.


Nobody had a problem with the woman who experienced it sharing her experience. It became a problem when OTHER people, based on hearing only one side of the story, starting trashing the business. That is wrong. Period.



Actually, YOU DO and it is obvious that you are using your alt peaname to troll (and I don't believe you are Lauren) and have decided that whatever the consensus opinion is, you will take the opposite.

That said, the original post did not name the place of business or the owner and another pea asked so she could avoid them.

Should the OP or her friend posted the name of the business?

Yes, they have every single right to post it in order to let others know the negative and shaming experience the woman had. And it isn't as if the friend didn't give the woman every opportunity to apologize because she did CALL HER BACK to ask her again what the weight limit was. As far as other peas "trashing" the business, seriously? This is 2Pea NSBR and it is going to happen plus I don't believe any peas left a message on the Facebook page but if they did, they have that right too.

Also considering this owner is representing herself not only as a Doctor of Oriental Medicine, an Acupuncturist and purportedly has worked with some renowned organizations via her website, she should be using medical grade equipment designed to take even the largest patients and even children's medical beds are rated over 165lbs (the rating on one was 400lbs,)and I looked up a cheap massage bed from Sam's and it rated to 750lbs so I consider that to be a major lie or she is not using the proper equipment which would lead me to worry what other "shortcuts" she is taking because here listed on her website is the list of services given:

Natural Healing Center

Anyway, I believe that the owner obviously had some issue with the woman whether it was her size or something else but when you as a business owner offer the following without a written policy stating who they will refuse to treat:



Athletes:

Whether you are a weekend warrior or a dedicated athlete, it is essential to maintain optimum health in the soft tissues of the body. When muscles are too tight or if there is an imbalance you become more prone to injury. Even if you are still young and healthy, it is much easier to maintain health than to regain it once there is a problem. Massage can help by identifying and correcting imbalances either in strength or posture before any negative effects are noticed. It keeps muscles soft and flexible, tendons and ligaments elastic, and joints properly aligned. It also improves blood, oxygen, and nutrient flow to tissues and speeds recovery time from workouts. Specific massage is also available for pre and post event treatment to optimize muscle performance and recovery.



you damn well better have a good excuse why you can't offer the service you are soliciting other than "oh, your too large for our beds that only hold 165lbs" or find yourself out of business PDQ because people are going to use that as a reason not to recommend your establishment.










Enough
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 553,030
April 2012
Posts: 2,637
Layouts: 0

Posted: 2/20/2013 1:00:15 AM
I said: Nobody had a problem with the woman who actually experienced it, sharing her experience. It only became a problem when OTHER people, based only on hearing one side of the story
*and not having had the experience themselves or even having witnessed the experience started trashing the business. That is wrong. Period.



Actually, YOU DO... and have decided that whatever the consensus opinion is, you will take the opposite.


If that's what you think, then either you didn't read the entire thread and didn't read what I wrote, or you have a SERIOUS reading comprehension problem.


* ETA for help with comprehension of the issue I and MANY OTHERS have expressed having a problem with.




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