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Really Red
Pea-ceful and Hap-pea
PeaNut 24,951
November 2001
Posts: 8,176
Layouts: 1
 |  Posted: 1/26/2013 8:53:48 PM
Oh my lord. Or can't I say that either?
Liberal atheist here. Absolutely ridiculous. I don't mind when people say they are praying for me (when apparently I need prayers!) and when people say phrases that just do not have mean meanings to them. No one means to be rude/ugly or anything of the sort when they say "bless you" and funnily enough, I just sneezed and I heard my daughter yell "BLESS YOU" from her room. Forgot my allergy pills today! |
Andrea
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller | |
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NAKscrap
PeaFixture
PeaNut 76,298
March 2003
Posts: 3,312
Layouts: 344
Loc: California
 | Posted: 1/26/2013 10:38:55 PM
How about "science bless you"? I pinned that funny one last week. ; ) |
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AmeliaBloomer
BucketHead
PeaNut 509,476
May 2011
Posts: 521
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 1/26/2013 11:00:30 PM
For the record, I think the boss's rule is odd, and reactionary.
But...I've always thought the sneezing-acknowledgement ritual is just plain weird. You sneeze. A total stranger wishes God's blessings on you. Then you thank the stranger.
It's a sneeze. An unremarkable SNEEZE. And I'm a frequent-sneezer. (So a frequent, though reluctant, thanker - at least in public.)
However, after many years of marriage, my husband told me I was impolite for not saying "Bless you" to him, and for not thanking him for saying it to me. IN OUR HOME.
So now we holler it back and forth from two rooms away. Seriously.
I just don't get it.
ETA: And for the record, I'm a wholehearted proponent of the language of manners if the expression serves a purpose, like "Please" or "Thank you" or "Excuse me."
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LauraBadora
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 400,215
November 2008
Posts: 2,018
Layouts: 2
 | Posted: 1/26/2013 11:42:28 PM
I'm an atheist but I do say bless you out of old habit, I guess. Drives my (atheist) husband crazy! I jokingly told him once that I'd start saying "hail Satan" instead. And it stuck, so now its habit for me to say "hail Satan" to him when he sneezes  | |
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Nightowl scrapper
Intl Assoc of Epic Length Posters - USA Chapter
PeaNut 103,889
August 2003
Posts: 24,788
Layouts: 0
Loc: Colorado
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 12:55:23 AM
Well, hopefully he also forbids the exclamations like "Oh my G_d" and "J___C____!" and "G_d d___t"
As long as we're forbidding religious references and all from the workplace  |
"Until you put a thought into words, clearly and precisely, it is not a thought at all. It is a kind of fog rolling around inside the skull."
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IleneTell
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 434,842
August 2009
Posts: 2,427
Layouts: 635
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 12:57:14 AM
Is OMG still allowed, in that case? |
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*Cecilia*
baseball is love.
PeaNut 154,126
June 2004
Posts: 15,129
Layouts: 211
Loc: Arkansas
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 1:20:43 AM
I don't say God bless you, but simply "Bless you".
Christians don't have the corner on being blessed. Being blessed isn't specific to any one religion. I'd continue to say it and not worry about if my kindness and polite regard after a sneeze isn't accepted well. Seriously, everything could be turned into a reason to get offended
I have to go with Mrs. Tyler on this. And I loved Mary Mary's response! |
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formerly alwaysa4hmember
No Fear. No Regret.
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Fraidyscrapper
Serious Interlocutor
PeaNut 38,100
May 2002
Posts: 12,480
Layouts: 0
Loc: Jersey Strong
| Posted: 1/27/2013 5:11:49 AM
I hope your dh said to you, not to your son, that the boss was "out of line."
Because he wasn't.
It might be silly or baseless, but the boss can make rules for his workplace.
I just think that's a hard message for you to be sending your son given the common complaints about young people's difficulties in accepting hierarchies in the workplace, and parents' willingness to intervene on their adult-children's behalf. |
| "The sharpest criticism often goes hand in hand with the deepest idealism and love of country." - Robert F. Kennedy | |
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Peabay
Happy now?
PeaNut 156,993
July 2004
Posts: 44,673
Layouts: 13
Loc: Connecticut
| Posted: 1/27/2013 5:25:40 AM
Now that's just silly. |
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JoanneW
BucketHead
PeaNut 81,992
April 2003
Posts: 680
Layouts: 21
Loc: Jersey
| Posted: 1/27/2013 6:26:35 AM
I wouldn't say something if I knew it was going to offend someone, but I have to say this is the first time I have heard reference to it being an offensive term.
My colleagues know not to talk about icky stuff when I am around because I am extremely squeamish, by not doing so they are respecting me, they don't need to understand it. | |
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Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!
PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,525
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 7:28:17 AM
That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! |
Dog people are a special breed! | |
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julieberg
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 160,179
July 2004
Posts: 6,447
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 1/27/2013 9:12:45 AM
I hope your dh said to you, not to your son, that the boss was "out of line."
Because he wasn't.
It might be silly or baseless, but the boss can make rules for his workplace.
I just think that's a hard message for you to be sending your son given the common complaints about young people's difficulties in accepting hierarchies in the workplace, and parents' willingness to intervene on their adult-children's behalf.
Yes, dh said this to me when we got home. DS was not around. DS said he told boss that he understood what boss was saying and left it at that. Boss really couldn't give son a direct reason other than "it's religious and you can't say it". My opinion is freedom of religion and boss is way out of line.
BTW - this "boss" is 25 yo (ds is 23 - first job out of college). The boss is a control freak. He hides things (manuels) in his office so colleagues have to come to him to figure out a problem that they can do on their own.
DS had worked for 9 years as a caddy, so he has dealt with a ton of a-holes. He has learned to be very patient.  | |
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scrappower
Allons-y Alonso
PeaNut 174,150
October 2004
Posts: 13,006
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 1/27/2013 9:18:11 AM
My opinion is freedom of religion and boss is way out of line.
That is not what freedom of religion means for the record. And yes it might seem arbitrary, but a boss sets the rules.
I agree it is ridiculous, but I would follow it. |
 
Blessed Be! | |
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julieberg
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 160,179
July 2004
Posts: 6,447
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 1/27/2013 9:27:55 AM
That is not what freedom of religion means for the record. And yes it might seem arbitrary, but a boss sets the rules.
Freedom of religion includes tolerance. Do I have the right to not listen to someone's rant about religion - yes. But they have the right to say what they want. So maybe Freedom of Speech??
I would be curious to know if this is coming from the boss as a control issue or the higher-ups. I'm thinking it is a control thing.
Again - DS said he won't say it again in the work place. He is not one to ruffle feathers. | |
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doesitmatter?
AncestralPea
PeaNut 509,811
May 2011
Posts: 4,854
Layouts: 21
| Posted: 1/27/2013 9:40:21 AM
That is.... Ugh.... Another example of how being politically correct is out of control.
Btw did he say "God bless you" or just "bless you"? I say and like both but maybe the boss is an atheist?
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| Child of God, follower of Jesus, and so thankful for His presence in my life <>< | |
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sweetpea4Utoo
PeaAddict
PeaNut 396,462
October 2008
Posts: 1,091
Layouts: 20
Loc: Maine
| Posted: 1/27/2013 9:43:25 PM
My 25 year old DS is an athiest, and he said to me once..."Please don't 'Bless me' when I sneeze. It's not like my soul is escaping my body." LOL
So, I just ignore it when anyone sneezes, but I still say 'Thank you' when someone says 'Bless you' to me.
How about "science bless you"
Ha! I think I will use this next time my son sneezes  |
"I tell my husband there can only be one batman, someone has to be robin. Sometimes it's my husbands turn to batman and sometimes it's mine. Quite frankly, if I had to be batman all the time I would find it draining." *maureen* on the 'The Boss of the House' thread 01.21.2010
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redboots
BucketHead
PeaNut 399,301
November 2008
Posts: 908
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 1/27/2013 9:47:04 PM
I have a friend who went through this really obnoxious phase when she first began exploring atheism. We were all at lunch, she sneezed and a friend said "bless you." This lady flipped out, shouting, "don't f***ing pray on me!" The friend who had the audacity to bless her isn't even religious - she said it more because she considered it a social nicety than anything else.
The lady who flipped out about being "blessed" now acknowledges that she was really over the top with her response and has since apologized to our other friend.
I think that 99% of the times "bless you" is used out of politeness and not in any religious sense.
That said, if your son's company has policies against that, or any other phrase, he needs to respect them. If it's only his boss and not a company policy, I'd advise him to watch his words around the boss. | |
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CountryHam
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 335,105
August 2007
Posts: 2,875
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 10:22:21 PM
BTW - this "boss" is 25 yo (ds is 23 - first job out of college). The boss is a control freak. He hides things (manuels) in his office so colleagues have to come to him to figure out a problem that they can do on their own.
I lost my reply. Trying again.
What does his age have to do with it? So what if it's
his first job. I have had bosses older and gasp, younger then me.
I don't get what the relevance is.
I also worked in places where the employee manuals were kept
in the bosses office as well. Nothing strange there. | |
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Nightowl scrapper
Intl Assoc of Epic Length Posters - USA Chapter
PeaNut 103,889
August 2003
Posts: 24,788
Layouts: 0
Loc: Colorado
| Posted: 1/27/2013 10:47:53 PM
BTW - this "boss" is 25 yo (ds is 23 - first job out of college). The boss is a control freak. He hides things (manuels) in his office so colleagues have to come to him to figure out a problem that they can do on their own.
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I lost my reply. Trying again.
What does his age have to do with it? So what if it's
his first job. I have had bosses older and gasp, younger then me.
I don't get what the relevance is.
I also worked in places where the employee manuals were kept
in the bosses office as well. Nothing strange there.
I'd guess her point about the age is that the boss is young. He's not learned that trying to control something like this is going to cost you more in respect than it will help make a positive workplace. He may have a personal issue with it, but he's not old enough to understand that good bosses don't impose their idiosyncracies on their staff. I think the fact the boss is 25 says a great deal about this kind of silliness.
As for the manuals - no it is not good management to make the manuals difficult for the rest of the staff to locate and insist they wander into your office to ask or search for them. Whether people you worked for did it or not, it's not an efficient use of your employees' time or yours to make them disrupt you when they need to look something up.
It does sound like the guy is controlling, and control freaks don't make good managers and in a good organization do not climb the ladder to the extent they would like. they don't get the best work out of their employees and they risk high turnover.
It sounds like the OP's son is on his first 'real' professional job, and the best he can do is do his job well, adjust to the boss's immaturity, and learn all he can about both his industry and how NOT to manage people, and he'll do well. |
"Until you put a thought into words, clearly and precisely, it is not a thought at all. It is a kind of fog rolling around inside the skull."
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julieberg
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 160,179
July 2004
Posts: 6,447
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 1/28/2013 6:30:32 PM
What does his age have to do with it? So what if it's
his first job. I have had bosses older and gasp, younger then me.
I don't get what the relevance is.
I also worked in places where the employee manuals were kept
in the bosses office as well. Nothing strange there.
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I'd guess her point about the age is that the boss is young. He's not learned that trying to control something like this is going to cost you more in respect than it will help make a positive workplace. He may have a personal issue with it, but he's not old enough to understand that good bosses don't impose their idiosyncracies on their staff. I think the fact the boss is 25 says a great deal about this kind of silliness.
As for the manuals - no it is not good management to make the manuals difficult for the rest of the staff to locate and insist they wander into your office to ask or search for them. Whether people you worked for did it or not, it's not an efficient use of your employees' time or yours to make them disrupt you when they need to look something up.
Well said. Exactly my point. | |
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2peafaithful
People not perfection
PeaNut 35,457
April 2002
Posts: 27,840
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right where I should be
| Posted: 1/28/2013 6:37:48 PM
This reminds me of something I read on this board years ago.
Don't be so open minded that your brain falls out!
This is a perfect example of that. Good grief that is stupid. | |
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blondiek237
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 70,239
February 2003
Posts: 2,855
Layouts: 8
Loc: Massachusetts
| Posted: 1/28/2013 7:00:06 PM
I specifically say bless you not God bless you because of the religious overtones. But if someone told me I could not say bless you, I would like to think I would listen, but I probably wouldn't. I am not going to change my niceties just to not offend you. If you are offended by someone else's niceties then that is on you not me. | |
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blondiek237
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 70,239
February 2003
Posts: 2,855
Layouts: 8
Loc: Massachusetts
| Posted: 1/28/2013 7:02:21 PM
Tell him to say Fuck off next time the boss sneezes, see if that is better for him. Sorry all this we can't have ANY religious overtones in anything we say or do around some people is ridiculous.
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michele st
PeaNut
PeaNut 371,154
April 2008
Posts: 129
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 1/28/2013 7:32:59 PM
He should find out if his co workers know that the boss said this and what they think of it. | |
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Simply_Lovely
PeaFixture
PeaNut 463,295
April 2010
Posts: 3,294
Layouts: 3
Loc: New York City
| Posted: 1/28/2013 8:03:09 PM
Maybe he could say " Stay back. I'm offended by your bodily function." or "Gezhuntite". That's being multilingually fair. I'm sure I offended someone by spelling that wrong, sorry!
Not only am I offended by the misspelling of Gesundheit, I am also offended by the use of the word. This is Amurrikah, we speak English here!!
IPeaFreely, who the hell peed in your cornflakes this morning? A number of atheist peas told you they don't even think it's religious and they use it, and yet you think it's some Christian propaganda? When someone says 'damn it" do you also think they are damning you to hell?? I have flipped on people who said they'll pray for me and the like, but bless you is not even a blip on my radar. |
 
Meow! | |
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