Paci's and strong willed children
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 1/28/2013 by justalittletike in NSBR Board
1 2 >
 

justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/28/2013 12:44:19 PM
My oldest is 2.5. I have gotten the paci down to nap and bedtime.

How do I get him off it? I don't think cutting it will make the transition easier and I've tried talking to him. I asked him to donate them to a baby or his 3 month old brother who he adores, he says "no bubba's, I NEED it!"

Now what? I would just take it away but DH aka captain softy is the problem and complains because he has to go to work... Well gee I got my own up all night and day issues (as stated above we have a 3 month old) and I work weekends for a police department!

A CUTE UPDATE-

just so we know who we are talking about here...

"Boston" 2.5 years old


and his brother "Easton aka EC" as brother calls him - 3 months


Uploaded with iPhone client

liasmommy2000
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 80,815
April 2003
Posts: 8,799
Layouts: 7
Loc: The mitten state

Posted: 1/28/2013 12:47:38 PM
Er....good luck!

Sorry, that's all I got. It's just hard no matter what IME. And it's been quite a few years here lol.


Laurie

Mom to Lia Grace age 13

http://www.jdrf.org/index.cfm?page_id=101310

justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/28/2013 12:49:13 PM
Haha thanks I think I'm going to need it. Maybe I should take the paci myself!


Uploaded with iPhone client

SmartyPants71
MTB Pea

PeaNut 53,328
October 2002
Posts: 6,186
Layouts: 2
Loc: Bellaire, TX

Posted: 1/28/2013 12:52:39 PM
What my pediatrician told us was to only allow ds to have his pacifier while he was in his room. Eventually, he lost interest in the pacifier because he would prefer to spend time with us outside of his room. I think it took less than a week.

bear_mom
PeaFixture

PeaNut 142,661
April 2004
Posts: 3,206
Layouts: 3

Posted: 1/28/2013 12:54:51 PM
My dds are 31 months apart and I waited until older dd was 3 before I tried to take it away, I felt like if she needed the extra comfort while adjusting to her younger sister then she could have it for awhile.

What worked for us was a sticker chart (really it worked for many, many other things too). If she went to nap or bed without her binky and she didn't throw a fit then she could add a sticker. Once she got to 30 stickers she got to choose someplace to go (she choose the zoo).

Emily

MergeLeft
Typical Liberal

PeaNut 221,236
August 2005
Posts: 21,058
Layouts: 67
Loc: Houston

Posted: 1/28/2013 12:58:03 PM
I got nuthin'. My very strong-willed oldest dd used hers until she was 4. We just about had her off of it at 2, and then I had another baby who also used a paci and we started all over again.

At the end we had the "binky fairy" come and take all the binkies away when they were two and four and they each got a present from the fairy in return.

Eta: past the age of two, binkies were for naps and bed time only.



justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:02:48 PM
Funny though my baby won't even take a paci at all.

I'm actually really glad about that.


Uploaded with iPhone client

justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:04:36 PM
Bear- I really like the sticker idea. He loves stickers.


Uploaded with iPhone client

BethAnneM
Hermetically sealed for your protection

PeaNut 95,504
July 2003
Posts: 8,197
Layouts: 0
Loc: Cali Baby

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:05:09 PM
Take it away. Strong willed or not (ALL kids are strong willed about something) no child needs a pacifier at 2.5 years old.

But I was the parent that was done with bottles and pacifiers by the time my children hit their first birthdays.



*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)

PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
Posts: 78,283
Layouts: 236
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:06:31 PM
Tie it to a balloon and set of free.
Seriously. Send it to heaven for a baby that needs it.

I have several friends that god this and it worked great


Bethie
proud Fiskateer #269
{My Blog}
*My Scraproom*
Uploaded with iPhone client

Bridget in MD
PeaAddict

PeaNut 8,619
December 2000
Posts: 1,988
Layouts: 14
Loc: St. Mary's Co., Maryland

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:09:49 PM
we had to go cold turkey on my DD when she was 3. She got a beanie baby kitty (Binky) but... it was the worst 3 days of our lives! Sometimes you just have to rip that bandaid off...


Bridget =)

Keep up with the Arnolds at
The Arnold Family

KatieBPea
AncestralPea

PeaNut 30,940
February 2002
Posts: 4,717
Layouts: 0
Loc: NJ

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:14:08 PM
I just went through this with our youngest, is pretty strong-willed. I did cold turkey with a little prep beforehand.

She was only using a pacifier during bedtime and the occasional nap for the past year, but it was becoming an issue to be sure to put it away somewhere where she couldn't find it during the day, and then remember where it was at bedtime.

A few weeks before her third birthday, I started talking to her about what big girls do: for her, big girls don't wear diapers, they go to school, they sleep in a big girl bed. Pacifiers are for babies. After her birthday there would be no more pacifier. I said all of this simply and matter-of-factly.

She asked for it (but didn't cry) for the first three nights. She stopped asking after that and the only time he comes up now is when we see a baby with one out in public and she'll look at me and tell me pacifiers are for babies.



justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:14:09 PM
Beth- I can agree with somethings but somethings I can't and that is one of them. We got him off a bottle before one but he has severe allergies (like epi pen) and eczema so bad at night he screams... Some kids just need a little extra help. He is old enough now though to regulate his pain. A year ago or even 6 months ago, developmentally I don't think he was ready and seasonally it wasn't the right time.

Haha now though I need help


Uploaded with iPhone client

Oliquig
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 210,654
June 2005
Posts: 5,135
Layouts: 204
Loc: Connecticut

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:15:19 PM
We "forgot" them when we went on vacation. A little tears, but she was having a lot of fun. I had hidden all of them before we left, but she never really mentioned them again.


-Rachel

I just don't see why people think I'm too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they were stupid.)






BethAnneM
Hermetically sealed for your protection

PeaNut 95,504
July 2003
Posts: 8,197
Layouts: 0
Loc: Cali Baby

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:15:59 PM

I remember someone told me once (as I worrying about getting rid of it at the 'right' age) "don't worry, she won't walk down the aisle with it in her mouth, mom".


I don't know about this one. My step daughter is TWENTY-ONE years old and married and still sucks her thumb every single night. She has a "silkie" that she holds while she sucks her thumb and watches TV in the evenings. I find it revolting.



h&hmommy
PeaAddict

PeaNut 337,614
September 2007
Posts: 1,580
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:16:14 PM
When my son turned 3, we had a one week countdown on the calendar. Each day we would say, "7 (or whatever) days until the pacis go to the babies. Really play it up. Then, on the last day, you gather up all the pacis and he leaves them under his pillow. In the morning, pacis are gone and there is a nice gift from the "babies" to say thank you for being such a big boy. Worked like a charm with DS and four years later with DD.

Make sure you gather ALL the pacis because you would hate to go through all that and have them find one under the bed, in the car, in their toy box, etc...

Peabay
Happy now?

PeaNut 156,993
July 2004
Posts: 46,280
Layouts: 13
Loc: Connecticut

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:17:31 PM
We talked and talked about how on their 3rd birthday it was "bye bye pacifier." We even had a book about it we read every night (I think it was a Muppet Babies book called "Bye Bye Pacifier."

And on their third birthday, they were gone. You'll have a couple of rough nights, but hang tough. And make sure every single one is gone. We were always finding one a month later in a toy box or a diaper bag.

Good luck! I did it four times. I promise you, it's doable.



ahiller
*Fingers crossed*

PeaNut 48,862
September 2002
Posts: 7,307
Layouts: 252
Loc: MI

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:19:45 PM
We're facing the same thing with our almost-3 year old DD. We're down to only having one left in the house and we told her that if she loses it, it's gone. We've also talked about how when she turns 3, the pay-pay (that's what she calls them!) fairy is coming and leaving her a toy. I know it's going to suck for the first few days (she would use that thing from sun up to sun down, if we'd let her) but I am hoping that by talking about it ahead of time, etc., she'll be a little more prepared for it.

I have an 8-month old who couldn't care less about them. He actually refuses to take a bottle too.

justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:20:49 PM
Ok so I have learned so far...

Find all stray pacis
Put on big girl panties
Tell DH get over it
And stick with it I will survive

Oh gee!


Uploaded with iPhone client

TheSeabee&Me
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 411,280
February 2009
Posts: 2,239
Layouts: 0
Loc: you can take the girl out of the country...

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:30:40 PM
I'm glad you asked this. YDS will be 2 in April. We've restricted the paci to just nap and bedtime since 9 months. But, he is still quite attached to it at those times. I'm ready for it to be gone but haven't been able to get it done. I'm the softy in our house when it comes to him. He owns me with one chubby little hand on my cheek when I go in to comfort him. Wimp.

*maureen*
Bad Wolf

PeaNut 191,892
February 2005
Posts: 6,008
Layouts: 0
Loc: Wheaton

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:30:49 PM

Ok so I have learned so far...

Find all stray pacis
Put on big girl panties
Tell DH get over it
And stick with it I will survive


Good Luck and G-d Speed.


MXJSmith
PeaAddict

PeaNut 147,319
May 2004
Posts: 1,834
Layouts: 0
Loc: Chicago, IL

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:34:32 PM
My sister's kids had theirs until age 3.5. My BIL took them to Target and they got to "buy" a toy with their pacifier. The check out ladies were happy to play along.

As an aside, one of the best parenting tips that I ever got was that we often expect children to do what adults cannot/will not (i.e. many adults won't just give up their morning coffee, cigarettes, etc. cold turkey or with no incentive). Just helps me put things in perspective sometimes.

Also, sometimes we worry too much. I was worried about my DD giving hers up, but we forgot it when we went on a trip. She had stayed up late and slept without it. We just never gave it back and she was fine... asked a couple of times, but that's it. Best of luck to you!!

peapermint
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 9,321
January 2001
Posts: 9,433
Layouts: 0
Loc: all up in your business

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:36:56 PM
Unless it is hurting the teeth growth or some other "real" issue, I don't see the problem with letting him have it at nap or bedtime.

Just because he's "too old" seems really arbitrary to me. And I'm someone who cringes a bit seeing a 4-year-old at the supermarket sucking a paci. But at home in bed is different.

My kid never took to one; I was a little disappointed at the time but at least we avoided having to quit it Now, talk about quitting breastfeeding -- THAT was interesting.

justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:38:52 PM
This child potty trained himself literally.

He demands where you specifically place his sippy cup at night. He wants his covers a certain way. He has to count to ten at night while you scratch his back... He is goofy like that and a little controlling. But we pick our battles with him.

An interesting mix of the two of us. I am his glad I'm not afraid of routine or discipline and Dh backs me 95% of the time when he sees it works. The other 5% I sometimes have to realize it is ok to let some things go


Uploaded with iPhone client

Darkangel090260
PeaFixture

PeaNut 308,882
April 2007
Posts: 3,457
Layouts: 15

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:55:43 PM
Since pacifier help reduces the risk of SIDS. I let my youngest keep it until she got sick of it. Sorry but I will pretty much do anything to help lower the risk of SIDS this is coming from a person who can not stand Pacifier or thumb sucking.


I have quite a few learing disabilitys that effect my spelling a grammer. I do know my grammer and spelling suck. I have been working on this problem all my adult life.

**Bran**
AncestralPea

PeaNut 257,257
April 2006
Posts: 4,319
Layouts: 24

Posted: 1/28/2013 1:56:33 PM
Very similar to my child. I was going to get rid of it at 2 but we moved when she was 22 months and then had a baby when she was 25 months. Didn't think that was the right time. In the new house she could only have it at naps and bedtime. She is, still, extremely strong-willed and also potty trained herself in a day. Most things, if at all possible, just need to be her decision.

When she turned three she gave it to 'the babies' that needed it and got a new Polly Pocket in return. She asked for it for about two or three days at bedtime, it wasn't damaging and she didn't cry. At that point she didn't need it any more, it was a habit and was comforting but it wasn't necessary for her. If she had cried about it and kept asking for it for several days I probably would have given it back to her but basically once it was gone, that was it.

To be fair, she is almost nine and still has the same blanket she's had since she was an infant. She cannot sleep without 'yellow blankie' and it does go to camp and sleepovers with her. I would never make her get rid of that, but the pacifier annoyed me and it started impacting her speech because she would hold it in her teeth while she spoke. It had to go. I think talking about it beforehand, setting a deadline, then sticking to it will help.


Brandi

KristinL16
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 142,870
April 2004
Posts: 13,107
Layouts: 102
Loc: MN

Posted: 1/28/2013 2:01:40 PM
My older two used a paci. We took it away from both at the same time. Oldest was four (or close to it) and the second was about two. I think they were both ready as it wasn't a big deal (although we had tried with oldest before that with lots of protest). Third son didn't use a paci but my 15 month old does do we wil have to see how hard it I'd to get rid of. That being said, I am more of a softy and didn't want it to be a huge struggle to lose the paci. If you are dead set on doing it now and have tried the other methods you stated you are just going to have to take it and be firm and hope e gets over it quickly.


Uploaded with iPhone client

justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/28/2013 2:11:00 PM
My biggest issue is he uses it as habit to go back to sleep now and thinks he needs it so when he wakes up if it has fallen where he cant get it he cries until i get it for him. It is more an association rather than really "needing" it.

I think I will do it one night and if it doesn't get better by night 2 he isn't ready and we will wait a month or so and try again. Is that too traumatic? Should I just do it?

Which is another thing. He is still in his bed as a crib and has no desire of getting out. Haha should I worry about that? I took the rail off and he told me "no mommy put it back on!"


Uploaded with iPhone client

Mely
Right you are Ken

PeaNut 31,465
March 2002
Posts: 23,345
Layouts: 12
Loc: So Cal

Posted: 1/28/2013 2:13:43 PM
My daughter took a pacifier until she was 3 1/2. It was what she needed to self soothe. After she gave it up (have it to the Easter bunny at the mall - still have issues with that lol) she started sucking her fingers to comfort herself. My youngest is a thumb sucker. He's almost given it up except for nap times. He's 5 and we have explained that there are germs- that he's getting too big- the whole gamut of reasons and he's not quite ready to quit- but almost.


~~~~ end of message ~~~~


Mom to James, Ryan, Dani and Mikey
Uploaded with iPhone client

Maite
There is no secret ingredient

PeaNut 50,756
October 2002
Posts: 25,327
Layouts: 418
Loc: NC

Posted: 1/28/2013 2:15:26 PM
That was not a hill that I was going to die on. Dd had a paci until she was 2.5. She let it go one day and that was that. Ds #1 had it until he was one, and it was no trouble to get it away from him. Ds #2 barely made it to 6 months. He wasn't as keen on the paci as his sister was.

If he needs it, what is the harm on having it a little longer?


Maite

A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway.

my blog

Newbie2
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 178,513
November 2004
Posts: 2,351
Layouts: 1
Loc: New England

Posted: 1/28/2013 2:25:25 PM

Take it away. Strong willed or not (ALL kids are strong willed about something) no child needs a pacifier at 2.5 years old.


And you know this how?


As an aside, one of the best parenting tips that I ever got was that we often expect children to do what adults cannot/will not (i.e. many adults won't just give up their morning coffee, cigarettes, etc. cold turkey or with no incentive). Just helps me put things in perspective sometimes.


^^I completely agree with this. If it's not hurting the child, why force them to get rid of it?? So many adults have something they 'need', so why can't we let our little ones have something?

My DD only had hers at bedtime and naptime until age 4. We told her the day after her birthday, the pacifier (she had her own name for it) fairy comes and leaves a gift. She NEVER asked for it again - no tears at all.

And, she has beautiful teeth

snugglebutter
dedicated chocoholic

PeaNut 55,649
November 2002
Posts: 7,141
Layouts: 3
Loc: TX

Posted: 1/28/2013 2:30:47 PM
With just nap and night time use, I would not be concerned at all about letting it go a little longer. Our kids have been a little over 3 when we got them off of paci's at night. (They got a fun surprise the next morning)

You still have a little baby too and your sleep is precious right now. I wouldn't battle the paci or crib at all with your toddler right now.



Sara


writermom1
Thrift Whisperer

PeaNut 114,407
November 2003
Posts: 22,729
Layouts: 66
Loc: At the intersection of Hooterville and Stars Hollow

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:31:58 PM
My son was just around 3 when he gave his up.

He didn't take them to school and his mouth is beautiful.

When we finally took it away at sleep time he cried very little and then fell asleep.



Uploaded with iPhone client

tania7424
Who am I kidding? Too tired to drink tequila

PeaNut 110,613
October 2003
Posts: 13,846
Layouts: 28
Loc: Port Coquitlam, BC

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:36:52 PM
My youngest is happily napping with his paci right now. He'll be 3 on the 22nd. He loves that thing. I really try not to let him have it around the house or in public. He has a secret stash somewhere I think. DS1 traded his in for big boy Legos when he was 3.5.




bizzymumma
I sense impending mayhem.

PeaNut 51,520
October 2002
Posts: 19,645
Layouts: 47
Loc: Beautiful BC

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:41:01 PM
If he feels that strongly he "needs" it, and he only uses it for sleep, I sure wouldn't worry about it! I wouldn't let him have it outside his bedroom, but there's so much else going on at that age, why not let him have his comfort item? C'mon mom.

PS. Make sure he knows if he can't find it at night, he's old enough to get up and find it himself!


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Laurie

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."
Doug Firebaugh


kimberly38
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 198,401
March 2005
Posts: 6,712
Layouts: 0
Loc: Wernersville, PA

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:45:54 PM
Why must the child give up his paci?

Granted I am the mom of 3, (ages 24, 21 and 14), and I was very lucky in that my kids did not take one or gave them up easily and early.

By the time I had my youngest, she used a sippie cup for many years. She has always loved chocolate milk in the mornings and because of mess, it was given in a sippy cup. I would say she actually did this until just a few years ago. Now, she gets it in a regular cup with a straw.

But, I guess I just don't understand the battle of making a child give up his paci. Is it that really big of a deal? Will the kid be scarred for life if they use one for a couple of more years?

Soon, he will be giving up naps. No more paci. Eventually, he will not need it for bedtime or as he gets older, you will be able to work him more on saying, no more paci or why don't we do this? At 2.5, they are too young to understand donating to a baby.

It may be also that you do have a younger child right now who is using one and he sees this and feels that he needs one too.

I would let it go for a little longer and try again.

I found that as I got older and knew my kids better, certain things were easier to do and I knew what to let slide and what to push. My youngest did not want to be potty trained at around 3. I tried a few times, did not push real hard, etc. Finally, at about 3 1/2, I said it is time. (her birthday is in Nov., this was approx. the end of April, when it was warm out). It was so easy because she was ready. We started on a Sat., she was up and on her own Monday am. She did not even watn to use a kiddie potty, but used the regular toilet. Now, I could have pushed her earlier and got it done, by why go thru that hassle when it was so much easier when she was ready, willing and able?

Ariana_T
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 323,005
June 2007
Posts: 2,571
Layouts: 0
Loc: Melting in the Sonoran Desert

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:48:32 PM
Reading about your child, I would let him keep it. My children have all been so SO much different as three years old than 2 1/2 year olds. My two and a half year olds needed binkies/bottles/lovies SO much more than when each of them turned three! In those few months a lot changes in their brains and behavior.

Being strong willed and very particular and especially having a new little sibling, I think it's an important time in his life to keep something that soothes him.

I say this as a mom to four kids, all but one out of that toddler phase, one currently your son's age. All of my kids gave up their binkies or bottles really easily when I waited until they seemed ready rather than force it.

One of my children was very similar to your son, looking back I would've been a lot "softer" with her. Let her have her preferences when I could, let her hold on to things longer. Taking things away and setting up strict boundaries didn't help her, it just hurt our relationship.

I'd let as much go as possible with a strong willed kid. Have certain things you'll take a strong stand on, absolutely, but if you don't have to make it a battle, I wouldn't!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ariana~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife to Allan, mommy to Brooklyn, Sierra, Payson, Ember, and Everett!
My Blog (or click image below)




AussieMeg
How about you, Lash LaRue?

PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
Posts: 7,631
Layouts: 16
Loc: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:50:04 PM

My biggest issue is he uses it as habit to go back to sleep now and thinks he needs it so when he wakes up if it has fallen where he cant get it he cries until i get it for him. It is more an association rather than really "needing" it.


And that is exactly why sleep consultants recommend that you don't give a baby a paci at all, right from from the start. They need to be able to self settle.

We weaned DS off his when he was 9 months old, on the advice of a sleep consultant. It was actually really easy, and he started sleeping through the night immediately. It was a different story with his night time bottle however. That took 3 nights of crying crying crying, but then he was fine. Short term pain for long term gain!

However having said all that, I do agree with Nightowl.

NativeNewYorker
black eyed pea with soul!

PeaNut 15,878
May 2001
Posts: 25,898
Layouts: 71
Loc: LI, NY

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:50:23 PM
My son only took the paci from the NICU. The nurses were really nice and sent me home with a few. Then I ordered some. After awhile, Ross-Similac discontinued that particular paci. I told my son if he bit the paci it would go in the garbage. He bit a hole in the last one. (He was nineteen months old and fully potty trained.) It was rough for about three or four days. He pulled out his scrapbook and would cry when he saw a picture of him with a paci. (There were a lot!) "Oh, my paci!" Boohoohoo. I thought I was going to have to send him to rehab for it. He was pretty much okay by the fifth day.


Staci
original pea number #3450
This Black Butterfly

gar
Whoopea!

PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
Posts: 15,219
Layouts: 0
Loc: England UK

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:50:57 PM
I think kids sometimes need a nudge to give up things like a dummy/paci. Smoking etc is a chemically induced addiction but sucking a paci is just a habit really. It's not a huge deal but often they will give it up easily with a nudge so I don't think it's necessarily traumatic for them.



"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

Stephen Roberts


*~*amanda*~*
...

PeaNut 393,905
October 2008
Posts: 7,415
Layouts: 0
Loc: Illinois

Posted: 1/28/2013 3:56:40 PM
I have to say that I agree with Nightowl on this one.

I think it is appropriate to put restrictions on the paci use, such as at nap/bedtime, or if he wants his paci he can have it in his room but not anywhere else.

My oldest was 4 YEARS OLD before he gave his up! I think that's old for one, honestly! He only used it at night time by that point but he HAD to have it.

I was going to take it away when he turned 3 but we moved out of state on his 3rd bday and I didn't want to move him away and take the paci away from him. So it stayed.

When I decided it was time to be done I tried taking it away cold turkey and he screamed and cried for 4 nights and then I just gave him the dang thing back.

I tried to convince him that the new baby (I was pregnant at the time) would need pacis and we should give his to the new baby. He wouldn't stand for that.

I tried poking a hole in the n!ppl@ and cutting the whole thing right off. DS didn't mind at all and still got that thing to stick in his mouth.

I read somewhere (I think it was here actually!) about the Paci Fairy. So we had a Paci Party. We baked a cake and decorated it all fancy. We went to the party store and bought a balloon for each paci he still had. We went home and tied 1 balloon to each paci and took them outside and left them along a walking trail close to our home. The Paci Fairy would then see the balloons and come get the pacis later that evening. We went back home to have the cake we made and found that the Paci Fairy left ds a gift.....a set of Hulk Smash Hands.

Ds was fine with not having the paci after that. He asked where it was at bed that night and I reminded him that we had left them for the Paci Fairy and he was ok with it.

My other 2 never were interested in pacifiers so I never had to deal with it from them...but #1 sure was an addict!

He will be 14 this summer and he STILL chews on everything he can get his hands on. I truly believe that he had some kind of 'need' for that sucking/chewing.

I don't think there is any need for a kid that old to be walking around all day with a paci but to have one at night or nap time I don't think is a big deal. Looking back on it, if I could do it again with my ds, I would have just let the kid have it until he was done.


I think I will do it one night and if it doesn't get better by night 2 he isn't ready and we will wait a month or so and try again.

No, no, no!
If you take it away then keep it away. The back and forth is not good for your ds. It will just confuse him.



pretzels
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 479,777
August 2010
Posts: 5,360
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/28/2013 4:17:12 PM
At a certain point, ours were only allowed the paci when they were going to sleep, whether it was a nap or bedtime. They had to hand it over to me when I got them out of the baby bed. And my oldest was pretty persistent about asking for it, but I just told him over and over again that he could only have it if he was going to take a nap, did he want to take a nap? The answer was typically no -- he was 2 or so and not big on naps anyway.

camanddanismom
Manic Mom of 2

PeaNut 274,243
August 2006
Posts: 11,389
Layouts: 461
Loc: Northeast

Posted: 1/28/2013 10:11:12 PM
We let ds use his until the last one wore out (he was almost 3). He was finally down to two and we would discuss it often how when his binkies were broken there wouldn't be any new ones and he could pick out a special big boy gift to celebrate. When he woke up one morning with a big hole in the nipple he cried so hard and then after a while said "I want a stop light for my Thomas can we go to the toy store now?"...good luck!!!


Uploaded with iPhone client

Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!

PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,838
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here

Posted: 1/29/2013 7:38:06 AM
I am a fan of just saying NO. You'll have to do it many times as your child grows and this is good training. It will of course be tougher as you will still have pacifiers around for your baby.

For your younger child, let me recommend that you take the pacifier away by the time they are 9 months old. Which is a much easier time to simply have the device disappear and redirect.

Good luck-it sounds like you have a few sleepless nights, but then it will all be better!



Dog people are a special breed!

CountryHam
PeaFixture

PeaNut 335,105
August 2007
Posts: 3,586
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/29/2013 8:11:03 AM
I would just throw them away.
I wouldn't give one to the 3 month old either.

Unless a baby is quite premature and needs
a paci to help with their sucking reflex
they do not need a paci.


sugarcoated
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 140,176
April 2004
Posts: 2,227
Layouts: 0
Loc: At Work

Posted: 1/29/2013 8:27:47 AM
If your child is down to naptime and bedtime, what is the big deal? You're just a parent needing to exert your power for some add ass reason. He's a 2.5 year old with a baby in the house. Let him be. Maybe at three, tell him he's on his last one and you won't be buying anymore. He'll be a tad older and more used to being outplaced by the baby - i.e., better at dealing with the loss of something that brings him great comfort and security.


CreativeEngineer
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 134,808
March 2004
Posts: 6,419
Layouts: 4
Loc: East Coast

Posted: 1/29/2013 8:46:39 AM
We broke the paci and thumb habits early because my good friend who's an orthodontist and my niece who was in dental school (she's been a dentist for 3 years now) recommended it. They both said it was bad for the teeth and the developing palate.

I know not everyone agrees with this, but these two professionals believe it, so we did it. The promise of a long-desired toy and a few gentle reminders did the trick for us. DS was a thumb sucker and the hardest as you cannot take away a thumb. But he stopped almost cold turkey when we "traded" it for the Red fire engine from Cars.

I wasn't on a parental power trip. I was just following professional dental advice.





justalittletike
AncestralPea

PeaNut 434,313
August 2009
Posts: 4,503
Layouts: 26

Posted: 1/29/2013 9:08:31 AM

You're just a parent needing to exert your power for some add ass reason


I think this is down right hateful since you know nothing about me and that is the LAST thing I am trying to do with HIM! It is not about power or control over it. I already said he gets it at night. I get up already and give him water when ever he asks which can be 1 to 3 times a night. I want him to be able to sleep without needing it and he can go all day with out it anyway. I think for him it is about control anyway. I stated before he is all about control from how the blankets are to a specific location of his sippy cup... holding two paci's in his hands I think is just something else to control for him. I just don't want to damage him if he is self soothing.

I think you are being rude!

I can understand others point of view and I will probably wait and allow him to have it at bed time and nap time for a while longer. The baby already doesn't have a paci so that isn't an issue, he doesn't want one. I don't think my 2.5 year old really is interested in what the baby is doing though he doesn't seem to really care about him other than helping me feed him or giving me updates on what he is doing. I am glad though he doesn't have a paci to compete on that.


and just for the record... he potty trained himself SINCE his brother has been home. He has shown no signs of crazy or out of line behavior that indicates he has been affected by him either. In fact he looks for him every morning when he wakes up and gives me updates on him... EC is sleeping, EC is happy, ect.... I really don't think it has been a huge adjustment for him in that aspect but he has a whole lot of cousins in his age range and younger that are constantly with him.



writermom1
Thrift Whisperer

PeaNut 114,407
November 2003
Posts: 22,729
Layouts: 66
Loc: At the intersection of Hooterville and Stars Hollow

Posted: 1/29/2013 9:18:42 AM

Unless a baby is quite premature and needs
a paci to help with their sucking reflex
they do not need a paci.


:eye roll:

Says Countryham MD?




Uploaded with iPhone client

deputydog
Chicks Dig Giant Robots

PeaNut 79,113
April 2003
Posts: 6,211
Layouts: 0
Loc: Pennsylvania Dutch country

Posted: 1/29/2013 9:25:58 AM
I'm another one who wouldn't force the issue.

I know you say he's controlling, and of course you know him and I don't, but to me he sounds fearful. And who wouldn't be, if they were so young and had allergies severe enough to need an epi pen and painful eczema? I can imagine just those two things would feel pretty overwhelming and scary to a little guy, and certainly they are uncontrollable.

If he has these kinds of unpredictable and uncontrollable (i.e., he can't make it happen, he can only react to a scary or painful event) things going on it makes sense to me that he could be very particular about where his sippy cup goes, the placement of his blanket, counting to ten when someone rubs his back, etc. These are things he CAN control.

I can totally see a kid wanting the security of a raised crib rail or a pacifier, especially if they're dealing with these issues.

I would leave it for a while yet.

Margaret


1 2 >
Post Reply . Post New TopicShow/Hide Icons . Show/Hide Signatures
Hide
{{ title }}
{{ icon }}
{{ body }}
{{ footer }}