My heart is breaking for an old friend (warning - involves loss of child)

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Posted 1/28/2013 by yivit in NSBR Board

I thought this was an autonomous collective

PeaNut 159,210
July 2004
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Posted: 1/28/2013 11:13:38 PM
I dated Alan in HS and college, thought he was 'the one' but things didn't work out. We've remained friends for over 3 decades. He got married in Nov 2011 to a wonderful lady with 3 older kids, and retired this past September from his govt job in Bakersfield CA and he and his family moved to rural MO (where his wife has family). Their home caught fire Thursday morning (likely the wood-burning stove, but they may never know) and burned to the ground in an extremely short amount of time. Their 16-year-old autistic son was trapped on the 2nd floor and Alan tried to get a ladder to him, but couldn't. Ian made it onto the roof but then it collapsed, and he fell into the hot spot of the fire and died. His wife, the younger son and a cousin of the boys had left a few minutes earlier to catch the school bus.

Friends from back in CA have set up a remembrance site and a fundrazr site for friends to help out. The Red Cross is helping with immediate needs for now and they started the search for an apartment today.

Please keep Alan, Danielle and their family in your thoughts. They're good people who have always helped those in need.

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PeaNut 24,951
November 2001
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Posted: 1/28/2013 11:15:34 PM
I hate stories like this. I am sorry for your friend's enormous and heartbreaking loss.


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Texan Peain In Minnesota

PeaNut 106,301
September 2003
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Posted: 1/28/2013 11:31:46 PM
I'm so sorry for your friend's loss . Prayers being said for the family.

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PeaNut 86,755
May 2003
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Posted: 1/28/2013 11:44:44 PM
I am so sorry for their loss. What a sad story.
I will keep them in my prayers.



PeaNut 87,007
May 2003
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Posted: 1/29/2013 12:33:59 AM
I'm so sorry about the loss of Ian. How awful to be unable to save him. My thoughts are with everyone involved, especially Alan and Danielle.


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PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
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Posted: 1/29/2013 4:30:04 AM
Oh my goodness, how heartbreaking!

I just can't imagine......

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PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
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Posted: 1/29/2013 5:12:05 AM
How absolutely heartbreaking!

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PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
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Posted: 1/29/2013 6:09:08 AM
I'm so very sorry. The family must be devastated. I cannot even imagine the pain and anguish they will be feeling at this time. I will keep them in my thoughts and wish them peace. Via con Dios.

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PeaNut 88,667
May 2003
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Posted: 1/29/2013 7:58:44 AM
I'm so very sorry. Praying for your friend and his family.


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PeaNut 183,518
January 2005
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Posted: 1/29/2013 8:07:15 AM
How horrible for everyone. I'll be sending prayers for you friend has he navigates this long dark road. I'm so sorry for their loss.

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PeaNut 41,743
July 2002
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Posted: 1/29/2013 8:15:48 AM
Devastating. I can't even begin to imagine the pain they must be feeling. I'll absolutely keep the family in my prayers.

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PeaNut 142,266
April 2004
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Posted: 1/29/2013 10:06:47 AM
What a sad, sad story. I will keep the family in my thoughts and prayers.



PeaNut 104,457
September 2003
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Posted: 1/29/2013 10:19:11 AM
I have a 16 year old son with autism so this really hits me in the gut. So sorry for the loss of Ian.


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PeaNut 163,728
August 2004
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Posted: 1/29/2013 10:21:47 AM
There have been so many fires lately. Two little girls passes here in CT last week while their pregnant mom was taken to the hospital.
I will keep his family in my thoughts.

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PeaNut 114,614
November 2003
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Posted: 1/29/2013 10:23:22 AM
How horrible. Truly, truly awful.

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PeaNut 32,477
March 2002
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Posted: 1/29/2013 10:30:06 AM
oh how horrible

i heard about this - texas county.

i can not imagine ....and am profoundly sorry for their family


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PeaNut 256,623
April 2006
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Posted: 1/29/2013 10:40:38 AM
I can't imagine...I'll be praying for them too.

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I thought this was an autonomous collective

PeaNut 159,210
July 2004
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Loc: Houston

Posted: 1/29/2013 12:17:04 PM
Thanks everyone. Gina - yes that's the story. Alan was injured (but not badly) trying to get Ian out. He can't drive right now because he has to wear his old glasses that aren't strong enough - his current rx was damaged (melted). The Red Cross is helping with those but it's such an unusual rx that it will take a couple of weeks for them to be made. He went to get a haircut on Saturday (his hair was singed) and the stylist refused payment. They are looking for an apartment in Cabool (the town where they are staying right now) .

Here is the article from the Bakersfield Californian: link

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

I thought this was an autonomous collective

PeaNut 159,210
July 2004
Posts: 10,482
Layouts: 3
Loc: Houston

Posted: 1/29/2013 6:43:16 PM
Small update:

Alan and Danielle found a small house today and they can move in tomorrow. He said it's small, but will work for now. It has central air and heat (so no fireplace or wood-burning stove) and is close to the school. Also, his glasses should be ready in a week (I guess Red Cross found someone who could put a rush on them) instead of at least two weeks.

They have friends who are going to move their stuff from the storage building on their property to the house, so they don't have to go back out there just yet. He also came into a small amount of unexpected money recently from his mother's life insurance policy (she passed away Dec 2011) that they were going to use for improvements at the old house. They'll have that extra cushion to help out in replacing things that they need right away.

He also was able to get new ID because his birth certificate (which his ex had sent him a couple of weeks ago) had never made it out of the glove compartment and into the house.

All in all, there have been several small blessings in the midst of this tragedy. Thanks for your continued thoughts for this family.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

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PeaNut 509,811
May 2011
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Posted: 1/29/2013 8:27:50 PM
Heartbreaking. Praying for all. I'm so sorry.

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PeaNut 263,696
June 2006
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Posted: 1/29/2013 8:37:06 PM
Having survived a major house fire my heart breaks for this family. They will definitely be in my thoughts.


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PeaNut 328,901
July 2007
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Posted: 1/29/2013 9:41:31 PM
And I thought I was having a heartbreaking week...this just took my breath away. I'm so very sorry for your friend and his family. I will be praying for all of them, and you too.

Lisa =^..^=

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PeaNut 91,898
June 2003
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Loc: PA

Posted: 1/29/2013 10:50:31 PM
Oh so sorry for your friends loss will keep them all in my prayers cant imagine how he is feeling and how hard it would be to watch your child and not be able to help them

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PeaNut 226,011
October 2005
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Posted: 1/29/2013 10:51:22 PM
OMG that's horrible. So sorry for your friend!

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