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wannaplay
PeaAddict
PeaNut 295,424
February 2007
Posts: 1,943
Layouts: 26
 |  Posted: 2/4/2013 10:18:20 PM
I'm sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I can offer a viable suggestion to help with her remains. Most states have an agency that will come get her through a mortuary. They will use her remains for science. They will then cremate her and return her cremains to you. All at no cost to you. My dad arranged for this to be done with his body while he was in hospice. When my mom died in a different state on her way to moving with us, we found a place that would do the same (she had talked about doing it like dad did). You have to be ok with the whole donation thing. As well as the cremation thing. But it is all done tastefully and they were so good to us and mom. And even though we lived in a different state, we had her cremains home with us about 3 weeks after she died. | |
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enjoytotheend
AncestralPea
PeaNut 359,333
January 2008
Posts: 4,034
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 10:51:42 AM
Thank you everyone. My cousin is currently not talking to me because he is mad that I am mad. Mind you I had to forgive much bigger things and deal with much bigger things (like when he admitted he molested his sister in laws). And yes he was prosecuted for that. I am mad that they are going to Disneyland instead of helping me with grandma. I will get her cremated. I know about the Science cremation but I didn't before she died so I don't know if that will work. He knows I am stressed about money but I guess that is more important to me. He said he would help with the cost but now that he is angry with me he doesn't want to. Forget that it is my grandma being buried not me.
Either way I will be okay I think. Worst case scenario my church helps with rent for a few months which I think they would be understanding about. Some people have sent money so I am grateful for that.
So far I also have one of my friends mad at me. I can't deal with it. I feel bad that they are upset that I am angry but I can't help it. I am not calling them names by any means they just are not use to me ever expressing anger. That is why my counselor said it's a huge break through for me. I also have endometriosis so I know hormones and pain are playing into everything too.
I can't fully rest until she is full at rest and I have her whole assisted living place to clean out. I didn't think I would process anger first but I had a bit of time to prepare for this death though nothing fully prepares you. I had accepted it and after seeing her suffer in pain and dehydration I knew it was time to let her go.
Thank you peas for being a safe place where I can vent. I am banning myself from facebook right now because so many people are getting offended. I have valid reasons for being upset with them but because I have never expressed anger they are getting upset about it. I have a feeling this healing process emotionally through counseling may change some of my friends and I am ok with that. | |
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Epeanymous
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 15,108
May 2001
Posts: 2,165
Layouts: 1
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 10:55:26 AM
Ugh. I have noticed that people who are hot-headed often get a pass when they express anger. "Oh, that's just Joe!" Whereas if you are a calm, chill person, your anger really unsettles people.
I am sorry you are dealing with both the things that are making you mad and the discomfort of other people who do not want to deal with you being mad. | |
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