I am having a good old fashioned cry today....

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Posted 2/4/2013 by BelleMagic in NSBR Board
 

BelleMagic
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Posted: 2/4/2013 12:32:14 PM
My grandfather had to be admitted to a nursing home...if that isn't bad enough we had to find a new home for his sweet little dog who has been his best friend since my grandmothers death. Sigh... The dog is in a fantastic new home but it just completely sucks because he is asking about her everyday and wants to go home to her.

megmc
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Posted: 2/4/2013 12:35:06 PM
Can they bring the dog into visit him?

peaname
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Posted: 2/4/2013 12:35:07 PM
I'm sorry. That sounds heartbreaking. Man should not have to be separated from his best friend!


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auntkelly
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Posted: 2/4/2013 12:36:05 PM
I'm so sorry. I'm sure your family has done what is best for your grandfather, but it's never easy.


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BelleMagic
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Posted: 2/4/2013 12:36:52 PM

Can they bring the dog into visit him?


We thought about this but we all agree it would be very confusing for both of them.

maddiesmum
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Posted: 2/4/2013 12:39:14 PM
*giant hugs* I don't think bringing the dog to visit is a bad idea. They'd both like it.

recap.pea
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Posted: 2/4/2013 12:52:48 PM
That is so sad. I am glad you found a good home for her but I can imagine how hard it is for him. My dad's dog was his WORLD. If he would have had to be separated, it would have been so upsetting. That has to be really hard for your grandfather and for you.

I take it that he has no idea that she has been re-homed? Do you have photos that you can take up to him, maybe it will help.


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BelleMagic
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Posted: 2/4/2013 12:58:32 PM

I take it that he has no idea that she has been re-homed?


He is aware that she is in a new home. We told him because he was worried that she would be put to sleep. However he is starting to experience sundowning and gets confused in the evenings.

TeamSteve
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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:08:00 PM
I am so so sorry for your family. It must be so hard. Sending some good thoughts your way.



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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:09:56 PM
Did the nursing staff agree that it might be too confusing for him for the dog to visit? If you haven't consulted with them about this, I would recommend it. It can actually be a very beneficial thing, both cognitively and emotionally.

I'm sorry for all you are going through right now.

BEF2008
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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:10:45 PM
Are there other dogs that could come visit him? Any therapy dogs that work in the area? I know it's not the same but it's so uplifting to be with a good animal, even when it's not your own. And you could ask for visits to be first thing in the morning when he is most able to understand.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Hugs.

Pamelou
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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:16:04 PM
I'm sorry that your grandfather and his dog had to be separated and I am sorry that your family had to make the difficult decision to place your grandfather in a nursing home. {Hugs}

Mystie
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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:17:14 PM
Oh, that makes me want to cry, too. I am sorry. I hope you can either figure out a way to have the dog visit, or have the nursing home bring in therapy dogs.


Janelle



ScrappinMyLife
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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:34:27 PM
I disagree with not having Grandpa and dog visits. Grandpa's transition and confusion is probably hard enough, then add in the loss of his best friend aka dog.
I think having the adoptive family stop by with the dog once in awhile would be very beneficial. He can see the dog/his best friend, and the family can assure him the dog is well taken care of, and they can tell Grandpa...they are waiting for him to get well and come and get the dog(even if that's never going to happen, it could inspire Grandpa).

I think it very sad, that your family his withholding Grandpa's best friend from him, because you think it's "what's best". One's heart and soul thrives, from the love and companionship of a pet.

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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:37:06 PM
I'm so sorry.


We thought about this but we all agree it would be very confusing for both of them.
Is your grandfather not able to care for his dog at all? Or does the nursing not allow pets?

If it is at all possible, I would find a way to have the dog visit as much as possible, that is just heartbreaking.



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Madi & Me
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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:42:59 PM

Did the nursing staff agree that it might be too confusing for him for the dog to visit? If you haven't consulted with them about this, I would recommend it. It can actually be a very beneficial thing, both cognitively and emotionally.


ITA... Your grandfather's relocation to an entirely new and different living situation is already an incredibly confusing and stressful thing for him. I'd check with his doctor and nursing staff to see what advice they have to offer. Visits with his dog may very well be therapeutic for him in countless ways. Whenever my patients get a surprise visit from their pet, they light up with joy and the positive effects are long lasting.

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this tough time right now. I wish you all the best.

jjpswife
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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:43:55 PM
I am so so sorry. That just breaks my heart for you, your family, your grandfather and his sweet pup. I wish I could give you all a hug.



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Posted: 2/4/2013 1:46:53 PM

Did the nursing staff agree that it might be too confusing for him for the dog to visit? If you haven't consulted with them about this, I would recommend it. It can actually be a very beneficial thing, both cognitively and emotionally.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



ITA... Your grandfather's relocation to an entirely new and different living situation is already an incredibly confusing and stressful thing for him. I'd check with his doctor and nursing staff to see what advice they have to offer. Visits with his dog may very well be therapeutic for him in countless ways. Whenever my patients get a surprise visit from their pet, they light up with joy and the positive effects are long lasting.

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this tough time right now. I wish you all the best.
Absolutely agree.
And question--why on earth did you not keep his dog? Why rehome him or her?



Dog people are a special breed!

MetalDancer
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Posted: 2/4/2013 2:03:46 PM
I agree with the other posters who suggested checking with the adoptive family about letting the dog visit. I bet it would do them both a world of good. When my Daddy was in assisted living, he was allowed to have his cats with him. He LOVED those cats - raised them both from kittens - and to hear him tell it, they were his saving grace. He's passed away now and his cats run my house!
Check with the staff and see what their policy is.


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BelleMagic
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Posted: 2/4/2013 2:06:18 PM
Thank you to everyone who offered their support. To those of you that are wondering why we did not keep the dog ...I totally understand that question.
She is a sweet wonderful dog however she did not get along well with the other pets in our home.
We found a person who absolutely adores her, has the time for her and could not love her more. It is a great match. I have known her for years.

As far as the dog visiting my grandfather I understand what you all are saying ( no matter how harshley....wow..)
The staff has been consulted. The facility he is in does not allow animals so we would have to take him out and that is what I meant by it being confusing for him. He is not well and we are doing our best to hold it all together.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words. I hope you all never have to make such heart wretching decisions in your life.

Luvmygirls
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Posted: 2/4/2013 2:17:41 PM
I'm sorry you are going through this, it must be really hard on not only Grandpa but the entire family. How about getting some pictures of the dog with the new family and show it to Grandpa, just to let him know he/she is doing great with a new loving family. This must have been so hard for him to let go of everything including his independence and his best friend. Maybe a picture of the dog with the new family will reassure him that his best friend is OK and he can now get some rest. I know if this was me it would be helpful to have a picture of my best friend near by.

Big hugs to everyone involved.

scrappower
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Posted: 2/4/2013 2:19:20 PM

And question--why on earth did you not keep his dog? Why rehome him or her?


Wow, do you have to be such a bitch?

To the OP, big hugs to you, what a tough situation.



SuPeaNatural
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:20:57 PM
I'm sorry about your grandpa, it's such a hard time for everyone. I had posted that I agree with letting the dog visit but I hadn't read your post just above (slapping own hand), so I've edited. If dogs are not allowed at the hime and it's too confusing for grandpa to be taken out, there isn't much you can do.

I like the photo idea, that might make him feel better knowing his mate is in a happy home. (((hugs))) to you and grandpa at such a difficult time.



SabrinaP
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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:58:05 PM
I'm so sorry OP. I'm tearing up too! I hope your grandfather is able to make this transition well. Hugs.



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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:00:36 PM
Cry all you want, belle. I'm sorry. I really like the suggestion of having the dog visit if possible. I bet it would be a huge boon to your grandpa's spirits.

Sending you many hugs today.

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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:03:28 PM
Completely understand the need to re-home the dog. Some dogs need to be in a single- dog home and it sounds like you found a great home for her.

Reassure your grandfather that she is well loved and cared for to ease his mind. Maybe when he is stable and you take take him for a visit they can have a reunion - so they both know each other is doing ok.

Hugs to you!

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Posted: 2/4/2013 7:29:28 PM
These are the types of situations where a good cry is in order. I'm sorry about your grandpa. My husband's aunt had a terrible time going into a nursing home and a lot of it had to do with her dogs. The dogs couldn't go in to visit her either. It was sad.


Ellen

obsidian
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Posted: 2/4/2013 7:32:42 PM
I agree it is extremely beneficial for a dog to visit it's owner in a rest home.

My father was stage three before he went into a rest-home. He loved having the visits from his dog.

CraftChickaPowPow
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Posted: 2/4/2013 7:38:04 PM
I am so sad for him.


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enjoytotheend
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Posted: 2/4/2013 7:38:09 PM
My heart hurts for you. Especially after my grandma just passing. She was in an assisted living home for a little over a year. Let yourself cry. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself feel what you need to feel. If you ever need to vent peamail me. I have been before you and know what it feels like somewhat.

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Posted: 2/4/2013 7:44:41 PM
I'm so sorry. ((((hugs))))





scrappintoee
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Posted: 2/4/2013 8:48:21 PM
So sorry to hear this!!! Saying prayers and sending ((( hugs ))) to you and and your Grandfather.

I read all your replies that they don't allow animals, but I hope they *might* have therapy dogs come and visit? At least he would be able to see/ pet/ enjoy another doggie (I know it's not the same, though.)

I have taken my pupp to a nursing home for visits, and it is SO wonderful to see the looks/responses on the residents' faces!!! I pray they will have that program where your Grandfather is!!!

scrappin jen
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Posted: 2/4/2013 8:55:23 PM
I am so sorry your heart is hurting. My grandmother was in the same scenario not long ago. We were able to take her to sit outside the front door of the nursing home-she lives in Florida- and brought her dog in to visit her. Nothing made her happier and more on task than when she was with him. I wish your grandfather's facility would see the value in that relationship. It is so hard to see them start to slip away and not be able to make it better for them.

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Posted: 2/4/2013 10:32:17 PM
I wish you could do like scrappingjen's family was able to do. I think it would do more good than harm. Does the place have a somewhere just outside the door where you could take your grandfather to visit with his dog?

If nothing else, one or two visits would set his mind at rest that she REALLY is ok. Deep down, he may really be worried that she was put down and not in a new home. I come from this point of view because of someone I knew in the past was afraid that they were being lied too and were much better when they KNEW things were ok AND still alive and well.


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scrappintoee
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Posted: 2/6/2013 8:04:26 PM
I've also heard of healthcare facilities that will allow pets to visit their owners *outside*.....I hope this can happen for your grandpa!!!
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