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nighthawk
PeaFixture
PeaNut 118,730
December 2003
Posts: 3,445
Layouts: 0
 |  Posted: 2/16/2013 2:33:13 PM
I have interest I just can't keep up with it all. | |
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redboots
BucketHead
PeaNut 399,301
November 2008
Posts: 908
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 2/16/2013 3:10:35 PM
My mother had a DISEASE you MORON. She did not choose it, it was given to her at birth, she fought it, and she lost time after time after time.
I am not trying to beat you up, Lynlam. I know how painful your mother's passing has been for you and hope you are finding some peace.
However, I disagree greatly with your assertion that alcoholism is a disease and that your mother had no control over her choice to drink.
Cancer is a disease. ALS is a disease. People do not choose to pick up a bottle of cancer and drink it every day. Likewise with people who suffer from a myriad of diseases, many of them terminal and life-threatening.
People with life-threatening and terminal illnesses don't have the option of just stopping the behavior that causes their disease. Addicts always have that choice. They may not be strong enough to make that choice, but that does not discount the fact that the choice exists.
Comparing alcoholism to cancer is apples to oranges, IMO. | |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,061
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
 | Posted: 2/16/2013 5:12:04 PM
Really? You don't think anyone with alcoholism can choose to not drink and get better?
You read more into my response than intended. I never meant to imply alcoholics could never ever choose not to drink again. I know of a few people who are sober for years after battling alcoholism. But it's not a simple choice or a quick fix. It's a lifelong battle and a choice day after day and some days it's moment by moment. It's a health issue that doesn't go away and it has long-lasting consequences. It also impacts people around them. Maybe not always physically, but in many long lasting ways. I do agree people can overcome alcoholism and it does take a choice not to drink- Every. Single. Day. | |
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lynlam
Don'tcha wish your girlfriend had spurs like mine?
PeaNut 46,248
August 2002
Posts: 6,366
Layouts: 41
Loc: Ohio
 | Posted: 2/16/2013 5:27:07 PM
"And what did you do to piss off Maddiesmom? Jeez, I almost NEVER agree with you on anything, but we manage to disagree without calling each other morons...oh wait, I forgot, I'm a grown up!!"
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I dared to have my own thoughts that didn't align with hers, that's what. Such a pity, she can't play with the big girls.
I've always liked you, ftr. Though that may damage your street cred around these parts. Sorry bout that.  |
 
"We demand entire freedom of action and then expect the government in some miraculous way to save us from the consequences of our own acts... Self-government means self-reliance." Calvin Coolidge
Lynlam, the second-tier Pea, paid (except it appears she is not) political shill. | |
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lynlam
Don'tcha wish your girlfriend had spurs like mine?
PeaNut 46,248
August 2002
Posts: 6,366
Layouts: 41
Loc: Ohio
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lynlam
Don'tcha wish your girlfriend had spurs like mine?
PeaNut 46,248
August 2002
Posts: 6,366
Layouts: 41
Loc: Ohio
| Posted: 2/16/2013 5:40:42 PM
"Don't you ever compare your mother's alcoholism (her choice to start and/or stop drinking) to my mother's cancer. Ever."
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Well, I forgot that the app doesn't adhere to the ignore lists.
Go eff yourself you rotten no good selfish shallow thin skinned nasty mouthed cretin, you.
I will compare whatever I want whenever I want, got it?!
My mother battled her disease, which also was accompanied by mental health issues, and diabetes For more than 20 years. I guarantee you it was no less damaging and traumatic for those of us that loved her than your own mothers battle was. Just like some people can fight and beat cancer, some can with alcoholism. But some can't. Treatment works for some, but not for others. Implying that its a simple choice is naive and ignorant. Tho I do understand and have struggled with the distinction myself over the years. But I have seen far too many of those I love fall to this disease to think that it is all a matter of choice. It isn't. Period. There is no disputing that. If you haven't lived it, then you, maddiesmum, can shut your damn mouth, and try to learn a little compassion for others. But I suspect that is beyond your capabilities. |
"We demand entire freedom of action and then expect the government in some miraculous way to save us from the consequences of our own acts... Self-government means self-reliance." Calvin Coolidge
Lynlam, the second-tier Pea, paid (except it appears she is not) political shill. | |
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lynlam
Don'tcha wish your girlfriend had spurs like mine?
PeaNut 46,248
August 2002
Posts: 6,366
Layouts: 41
Loc: Ohio
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maddiesmum
PeaNut
PeaNut 574,034
December 2012
Posts: 362
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/17/2013 1:17:10 PM
I dared to have my own thoughts that didn't align with hers, that's what. Such a pity, she can't play with the big girls.
Thoughts that didn't align with mine? No, you had the unmitigated gall to compare your mother's death from her addiction to my mother's death from cancer caused by second hand smoke. The fact that you think that your mother didn't cause her own death by drinking and that my mother did by choosing to breathing the cigarette smoke of others is quite possibly the most idiotic thing I've ever heard.
You're a hateful monster to speak of my mother like that. You are disgusting and vile and I hope you don't pass your hatefulness on to your children. | |
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maddiesmum
PeaNut
PeaNut 574,034
December 2012
Posts: 362
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/17/2013 1:19:25 PM
Infirmly believe there are genetic alcoholics, and there are behavioral alcoholics. The genetic alcoholics have a much much much harder time overcoming their addiction than the behavioral alcoholics do.
Really? That's ridiculous. What kind of education do you have to come to this asinine conclusion? 
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ePEAcenter
BucketHead
PeaNut 364,981
February 2008
Posts: 639
Layouts: 2
Loc: Texas Hill Country
 | Posted: 2/17/2013 1:38:36 PM
Farm subsidies have a long and varied history in the US and to over-simplify them: the intent is to protect farmers from market fluctuations in pricing that can impact the ability of farmers to replant for the following season and increase volatility in the marketplace. This was true for tobacco as well. In other words, the price controls and subsidies do not exist to protect the "tobacco industry" (i.e. manufacturers), they exist to protect farmers and to encourage those same farmers to "transition" to other crops.
As is the case with most government involvement with free markets, it's messy, ineffective and distorts the market from effective valuation and normalization of trade and activity. However, labeling tobacco price controls and farm subsidies as "tobacco industry" support by the federal government is laughably naive. | |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,061
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 2/17/2013 1:52:43 PM
You're a hateful monster to speak of my mother like that. You are disgusting and vile and I hope you don't pass your hatefulness on to your children.
You have made both your mothers' diseases and deaths a pissing match on a message board. You both should be ashamed of yourselves. You both lost your mothers to diseases and neither if you have a right to discredit or call the other names. Seriously, you both are acting hateful. Pot and kettle.
Alcoholism is absolutely a disease and it is hereditary. Watching a loved one struggle a lifetime with alcoholism is painful and horrible.
Cancer of any kind is horrible and it is painful to watch a loved one fight cancer regardless of if it comes from second hand smoke or heredity.
Stop comparing your mothers' illnesses and deaths and maybe extend a little compassion towards one another for what you each have lost. | |
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maddiesmum
PeaNut
PeaNut 574,034
December 2012
Posts: 362
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/17/2013 2:00:45 PM
My mother died because of other people's disgusting habits. Lynlam's addict mother died from drinking - her choice. She could have stopped and sought treatment and changed her outcome; my mother could not.
Why don't you jam your self-righteous BS up your a$$, Mrs_Tyler. I've seen you spew your nonsense here enough to know that people who live in glass houses like you shouldn't throw stones.
You and Lynlam are too self-centered and ridiculous to call anyone else out on the same thing. Give me a break, already!  | |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,061
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 2/17/2013 2:10:06 PM
My mother died because of other people's disgusting habits. Lynlam's addict mother died from drinking - her choice. She could have stopped and sought treatment and changed her outcome; my mother could not.
Do you think her mother asked to struggle with alcohol addiction? Some people are born with that addictive trait.
Did your mother choose to be around people who smoked? Or was she trapped in a closet forced with no other choice to suck in second hand smoke? Sometimes our choices in who we spend time with impacts our health. I quit waitressing because I didn't want to be serving food to the smoking section and I wasn't allowed to request non-smoking. Even though every other server in the restaurant smoked and I didn't they always assigned me to the bar and smoking section. I knew it would probably impact my health so I made the choice to quit.
I was trying to defend your feelings but apparently you've lost your ability to reason. Why don't you go spew your bitter and hateful lecture to the mirror because you are acting like a complete hypocrite. | |
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maddiesmum
PeaNut
PeaNut 574,034
December 2012
Posts: 362
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/17/2013 2:28:40 PM
Did your mother choose to be around people who smoked? Or was she trapped in a closet forced with no other choice to suck in second hand smoke? Sometimes our choices in who we spend time with impacts our health.
You are just as vile and disgusting as lynlam. I can only hope that, for both you and she, karma catches up to you and gives you EXACTLY what you both deserve. I'll be watching closely to see with delight. | |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,061
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 2/17/2013 2:36:50 PM
You are just as vile and disgusting as lynlam. I can only hope that,for both you and she, karma catches up to you and gives you EXACTLY what you both deserve. I'll be watching closely to see with delight.
Really! I asked you a question because you insist your mother had zero choice in her health struggles. And then you go wishing ill on me and Lynlam and promise to delight in someone else's misfortune. Again, you need a good look in the mirror.
I'm sorry your mother battled cancer. It is horrible and painful and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
I've lost loved ones to cancer and other illnesses outside if their control and it hurts and it sucks and I'm sorry you went through that. And I'm sorry that Lynlam belittled you for that experience.
Lynlam, I'm sorry your mother battled mental illness and alcoholism. It is horrible and painful and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I've watched loved ones battle alcoholism and drug addiction and deal with mental health issues that put these addictions outside if their personal control. It sucks and it hurts to watch them live with that illness. And I'm sorry maddiesmum belittled you for your experience. | |
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maddiesmum
PeaNut
PeaNut 574,034
December 2012
Posts: 362
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/17/2013 2:40:01 PM
I'm sorry your mother battled cancer. It is horrible and painful and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
I've lost loved ones to cancer and other illnesses outside if their control and it hurts and it sucks and I'm sorry you went through that. And I'm sorry that Lynlam belittled you for that experience.
Thank you for that. I'm sorry for my terrible words towards you.
ETA: I did not belittle Lynlam for her experience. | |
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Krazyscrapper
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 131,612
February 2004
Posts: 2,060
Layouts: 0
Loc: Sonoma County
| Posted: 2/17/2013 2:40:22 PM
Did your mother choose to be around people who smoked? Or was she trapped in a closet forced with no other choice to suck in second hand smoke?
Are you really this dumb?
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,061
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 2/17/2013 3:07:42 PM
Krazy, it's not dumb to recognize that everyday choices like who we date, marry, and spend time with can impact our own health.
If maddiesmum wants to try to make her mother's battle with cancer more tragic than lynlam's mother's battle with alcoholism and mental illness, then it's fair to ask the question regarding her mother's health choices. Alcoholism is a disease that nobody asks for or chooses. Just like cancer is a disease that nobody asks for or chooses. But in both situations there are personal choices that can be made to reduce our risks for these diseases.
Maddiesmum, thank you for the apology. I do hope you also consider lynlam's loss and realize hers is just as painful as your own. It's not a contest to see whose loss is greater. Neither of you deserved to lose your moms to diseases. | |
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Enough
PeaNut
PeaNut 553,030
April 2012
Posts: 447
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 2/17/2013 3:15:27 PM
I was trying to defend your feelings but apparently you've lost your ability to reason. Why don't you go spew your bitter and hateful lecture to the mirror because you are acting like a complete hypocrite.
Mrs Tyler, it's not about outrage over Lynlam talking about her mother. This sort of hate filled trolling is maddiesmum's MO. She's always battling someone.
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Kelpea
In a HapPea Place
PeaNut 176,832
November 2004
Posts: 12,209
Layouts: 2
Loc: gone to chemo with BethAnne
| Posted: 2/17/2013 3:17:16 PM
I will respectfully say that both smoking and drinking can be addictive. That's an illness, in my book. And my doctor's book as well.
Certain personalities cannot handle even the first taste of a cig or a drink; plenty of other people can.
No one can judge what another's illnesses are. And after watching my mom struggle with cigarettes her entire life, and my FIL struggle with his drinking HIS entire life, I can assure you this was not their choice to have these addictions. |
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maddiesmum
PeaNut
PeaNut 574,034
December 2012
Posts: 362
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/17/2013 3:31:25 PM
Mrs Tyler, it's not about outrage over Lynlam talking about her mother. This sort of hate filled trolling is maddiesmum's MO. She's always battling someone.
I'M the troll? Please don't make me use the pot calling the kettle black analogy here.  | |
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Enough
PeaNut
PeaNut 553,030
April 2012
Posts: 447
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/17/2013 3:39:51 PM
I'M the troll? Please don't make me use the pot calling the kettle black analogy here.
I'm not the one that started spewing obscenities & calling people names. This is not a pot/kettle situation.
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WannaPea
No Peas for you ! Come back one year!
PeaNut 151,172
June 2004
Posts: 26,832
Layouts: 175
Loc: In my PJ's
| Posted: 2/17/2013 3:42:02 PM
Do you think her mother asked to struggle with alcohol addiction? Some people are born with that addictive trait.
Did your mother choose to be around people who smoked? Or was she trapped in a closet forced with no other choice to suck in second hand smoke? Sometimes our choices in who we spend time with impacts our health. I quit waitressing because I didn't want to be serving food to the smoking section and I wasn't allowed to request non-smoking. Even though every other server in the restaurant smoked and I didn't they always assigned me to the bar and smoking section. I knew it would probably impact my health so I made the choice to quit.
Wow. And you were admonishing them to be a little more compassionate. Unbelievable. |
Cop's wife - Mom to one
"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." ~ Delos B. McKown
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,061
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 2/17/2013 3:49:58 PM
Wannapea, if she insists her mother had no choice in being exposed to second hand smoke, the question is not out of line. I was only pointing out that our choices every day can knowingly or unknowingly put our health at risk. It was mean to help her see another perspective. I never said her mother deserved cancer because she was raised by and married to smokers. Simply that her adult choices made an impact on her health just like lynlam's mother's choices with her battle with alcoholism. | |
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WannaPea
No Peas for you ! Come back one year!
PeaNut 151,172
June 2004
Posts: 26,832
Layouts: 175
Loc: In my PJ's
| Posted: 2/17/2013 3:56:07 PM
It was mean to help her see another perspective.
You're right-it was mean .
Now, if you're saying it was meant to help , well, I'm sorry to call bullshit on that one.
You go from calling for more compassion to saying something like that about one's mother. All under the guise of helping??!
Please. You jabbed a barb. Just nut up and stop pretending like you were helping. |
Cop's wife - Mom to one
"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." ~ Delos B. McKown
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Krazyscrapper
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 131,612
February 2004
Posts: 2,060
Layouts: 0
Loc: Sonoma County
| Posted: 2/17/2013 4:40:51 PM
Krazy, it's not dumb to recognize that everyday choices like who we date, marry, and spend time with can impact our own health.
See that is the problem Mrs. Tyler. You're assuming that people have a choice when it comes to second hand smoke. As long as people continue to smoke one is always going to come in contact with second hand smoke on a daily basis no matter how much they try to avoid it.
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I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!
PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
Posts: 19,528
Layouts: 0
Loc: California, NY & Orlando
| Posted: 2/17/2013 4:46:00 PM
I've always liked you, ftr. Though that may damage your street cred around these parts. Sorry bout that
O.M.G.
I'm totally ruined. My street cred in shreds. Nobody will ever take me seriously again. Oh well... | |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,061
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 2/17/2013 4:49:45 PM
See that is the problem Mrs. Tyler. You're assuming that people have a choice when it comes to second hand smoke. As long as people continue to smoke one is always going to come in contact with second hand smoke on a daily basis no matter how much they try to avoid it.
I asked if her mom chose to spend time with smokers. I didn't assume, I know first hand the reality that sometimes we can't choose to not be in e same room as smokers. But there are times when we can and should and that was all I meant in my post.
Yes, Wannapea's, I meant "meant" and not "mean". If you want to comment about someone being mean, you're looking at the wrong pea. | |
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Krazyscrapper
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 131,612
February 2004
Posts: 2,060
Layouts: 0
Loc: Sonoma County
| Posted: 2/17/2013 5:11:27 PM
Or was she trapped in a closet forced with no other choice to suck in second hand smoke?
Lets look closer at your comment again Mrs. Tyler. Based on your comment you're assuming this lady had a choice or that anyone who comes in contact with second hand smoke has a choice. We don't.
So own up to your comment instead of trying squirm out of it. | |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,061
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 2/17/2013 5:30:17 PM
Krazy, I disagree with your interpretation of my statement. You'll have to live with that. I made that statement to be blunt about the fact that SOMETIMES we do have a choice in our exposure to 2nd hand smoke. I know first hand about situations where there isn't a choice. Like when I would be trapped in my grandparents' car and my grandpa was smoking. My cousin has allergies and asthma and had problems breathing. I was sick and coughing. I already knew grandma couldn't smell or taste much because of his smoking. But as a kid, I couldn't take a different vehicle. I was trapped. And I hated it.
As an adult, I made choices because of that experience. I chose not to date guys who smoked. I chose to quit waitressing at a restaurant that only assigned me, the only non smoking waitress, to the smoking section. I stopped hanging out with kids in school who picked up smoking. I hate cigarettes and I hate 2nd hand smoke. I know there are times when we can choose to stay clear of it for our health and that sometimes we don't have that choice (but that tends to be when we aren't yet adults). | |
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Krazyscrapper
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 131,612
February 2004
Posts: 2,060
Layouts: 0
Loc: Sonoma County
| Posted: 2/17/2013 5:36:20 PM
Krazy, I disagree with your interpretation of my statement [/quote
Your statement was pretty clear. Continue to squirm on..... | |
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Edgy Coolness
PeaFixture
PeaNut 365,853
March 2008
Posts: 3,514
Layouts: 0
Loc: Dallas, Texas
| Posted: 2/17/2013 7:16:09 PM
WannaPea
No Peas for you ! Come back one year!
PeaNut 151,172
June 2004
Posts: 26,626
Layouts: 175
Loc: In my PJ's
Posted: 2/17/2013 3:42:02 PM
Do you think her mother asked to struggle with alcohol addiction? Some people are born with that addictive trait.
Did your mother choose to be around people who smoked? Or was she trapped in a closet forced with no other choice to suck in second hand smoke? Sometimes our choices in who we spend time with impacts our health. I quit waitressing because I didn't want to be serving food to the smoking section and I wasn't allowed to request non-smoking. Even though every other server in the restaurant smoked and I didn't they always assigned me to the bar and smoking section. I knew it would probably impact my health so I made the choice to quit.
Wow. And you were admonishing them to be a little more compassionate. Unbelievable.
No big surprise or lie there. Obviously her limited life experiences are shown in her posts. And isn't it convenient that as a college student she was able to quit working because she couldn't request the non-smoking section exclusively (how her co-workers must have loved that constant WHINE from the uber Krit-shun having to work in a smoky bar no less and I'm sure it was more about the crummy tips than having to be around booze and cigarette smoke, since most people order at the bar and take it to the final tab.)
But to answer her rather obtuse question about Maddiesmum "being" trapped and she could have gotten another job, it just shows how clueless this "Masters Degree History/Social Studies Teacher" is because it wasn't until the mid-90s (probably around the time she was working that waitress job ) that businesses started making their guests and more importantly employees smoke in designated areas and since she is so oblivious, SOME people actually have to work a job to support themselves and their children no matter what the environment which is why the concept of NO SMOKING in Public Spaces was instituted and is now seen as "normal."
And I evidently have worked so long that I can also remember when M.D. Anderson became "Smoke Free" in 1999 or 2000 (when I went to work there they had designated smoking areas for staff and patients) and it is a hospital dedicated to the research and treatment of cancer including Lung Cancer from smoking (one of the research doctorate candidates was doing a study on smoking and I forget the protein/enzyme that I worked with outside of my regular duties.)
Anyway in my own personal work history I have to say that at every job I had after high school(the owner of the company where my Mom worked set up a 'smoke free' environment for me because my Mom went to work for him a month after I had to have an emergency appendectomy and he wanted to protect my "fragile" health when I worked there as a teenager -- he died from complications of lung cancer also) and post-college from working at the VA to working at Private labs during the late 80s to probably the mid-1990s allowed people to smoke while working, even encouraged it because they were at their desks and smoking while doing "work." I would also say nearly all of the Accessioning Lab Assistants smoked at the VA and probably 90% of my co-workers as well including the crazy Pathologist whose office could have been a source for raw nicotine as well.
Oh and just to make an obvious comment, I think dying in general but specifically from complications of any cancer is horrible because my Uncle died 10 years to the day of a massive heart attack (complications of treatment) with just one lung because he lost the other to lung cancer (he never stopped smoking either and his cancer had returned) and it took 8 months from his diagnosis for a friend's brother who worked in the music business (many of the 90s Country Stars from Texas have him as a session artist on their albums) to die from alcohol related liver cancer and he continued to drink the whole time (his was not only a familial addiction, their father was a mean drunk that beat and abused them but he was especially physically abusive to that particular brother and he drank to forget it.)
As far as the mental illness associated with Alcoholism is concerned, I am highly thankful that God chose not to make my mentally ill brother also a drug addict or alcoholic because it is enough just to deal with his Anxiety/OCD mental illness issues though it seems people are more "forgiving" of the crazy substance abuser than they are of the "just crazy" because I guess they think the substance abuse is driving the crazy and not the other way round which is why you have seen me post "self-medicating substance abusers" when talking about legalizing POT.
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rahopkinsiii
My avatar is non-caucasian & my dog is Brown
PeaNut 118,141
December 2003
Posts: 9,691
Layouts: 5
Loc: right near the edge or reason, close to reality
| Posted: 2/17/2013 8:02:35 PM
Why do we allow Lobby groups to push agendas for Federal Education, Labor Unions, Tobacco, guns, Alcohol, big banks.
Because they give people in power money and those people don't care about the overall budget items that don't benefit them or their state and special interest groups. |
| business in the front, party in the back. | |
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LBrock44
Equality for ALL
PeaNut 40,268
June 2002
Posts: 11,849
Layouts: 57
Loc: Southern California
| Posted: 2/17/2013 8:13:48 PM
Lynlam and Maddiesmom, I am sorry for the losses of your mothers. Losing a mom, no matter how they die, is something that one cannot understand until they go through it. I wish you both the best. |
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We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr. | |
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