Would you find this rude?
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 2/18/2013 by Kinley-pea in NSBR Board
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Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 2:59:31 PM
My husband works with someone that he has known I think for about 10 years or more.

This guy got into a relationship about a year ago and we are looking for couple friends. So,DH invited them over a few weekends ago, we had dinner. Had a nice time. (they cooked that time because the guy raves about his pork chops, so he offered to make them)

This weekend we invited them over again for dinner and then we all planned to go out to Karokee. We told them I was making chicken fajitas in the crock pot (which are amazing by the way). My husband raved about them at work for days.

Well DH says to friend "I told you about these right?" friend says "No", Dh says you are going to get me into trouble here jokingly. Guy said well maybe you did, I don't remember, that part was no big. I am sure DH raved, this guy just wasn't listening. No worries.

Well fajitas are made with veggies, everyone knows that. We told them that's what we were making. The fajitas get done and its time for dinner and DH's friend says, sorry "I don't like vegetables, I can't eat those". Sorry! (to me) this was after he made salsa that guess what? has veggies in it. I was insulted, I just would never do that. If I didn't like something I would still eat it ( a smaller portion) etc. He says "I'll just get something at the bar". to add even more insult he starts raving about his gf's this and that, that she makes.

Then later we are sitting outside and he tells me "you know I didn't like you when we first met, because of XYZ"! Um WTH? I would never tell someone that, unless we were one on one.

If you didn't like me, that's info I don't need to know. What does it accomplish? and to be said in front of everyone was insulting and embarrassing.

So would you find those two things rude?

I can tell you, my feelings were hurt. We are trying to make new friends that are couples, because while we like our single friends. We want to hang with more people that have common goals like us.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:01:57 PM
Not the kind of person I would want to be friends with. He's showing you his true colors.

melodyesch
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:03:46 PM
Uh, yeah, that would be the end of couples night with them. He is an a$$ and I wouldn't want to be around him.

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StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:04:03 PM
Yes that is rude.

Christine58
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:05:25 PM
You need new friends...this guy seems immature.



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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:05:52 PM
For sure rude! Guy sounds like an ass!

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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:07:50 PM
Well, of course that's rude!


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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:08:15 PM
Yes I find that rude. I would have felt bad too.
Some people have no tact.....I did not give up on a friendship with the wife of a good friend of DH. She will make comments like you described. It's been 10 years and I find that I really enjoy her company, even if she can be a little off the wall.
Good luck.

mishkismom
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:08:19 PM
The food thing.... onions give me migraines and because I figured that out after eating an italian sandwhich I can't eat mushrooms or peppers because I kind of relate them all together. That said I would ask and/or mention it to my host long before the dinner date.
The "I didn't like you because" thing? Sounds like things my friends and I used to say in middle school!
I think that would be my last gathering with them.


Jan *********************************************

Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:09:20 PM
He is 31 and this was only the second time we had them over, the first time all went well. He is a hard reliable worker at work but I guess a bit of a pompous ass.

Ya after that DH said "never again". I said that would be too soon, lol.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

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Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:14:51 PM
There have been people I didn't like at first, but to tell them when I barely know them "Hey I didn't like you when..." is just something I would never think to do.

What was I supposed to say back to that? "Uh, thank you"?

and yes, he had plenty of time to say, he couldn't eat what I made. DH and him even went to the store for items for the salsa and he could have gotten himself something then. No manners. There has been plenty a time when I have eaten something that I didn't like or knew I wouldn't like. I just took a smaller portion. The pork chops he made, I didn't like but I still thanked him and said they were great.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:15:10 PM
What a jerk. That would be the last time I had anything to do with that couple.



Miss Ang
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:17:27 PM

We want to hang with more people that have common goals like us.
Well, if one of your goals is to be nice, I would say you do not have common goals. The guy sounds like an ass and not someone I would want to spend much time with.

ETA: I admit though, I don't like fish and there is no way I would eat it; not even a small portion. I wouldn't ANNOUNCE that I didn't like it but I would just skip having that. I'm sure he could have picked around the vegetables without making a big to-do about it.

I don't think not eating something is rude, but being a whiny baby and criticizing someone is rude.


-Angela

Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:18:34 PM

Well, if one of your goals is to be nice, I would say you do not have common goals.The guy sounds like an ass and not someone I would want to spend much time with.



Believe me, we will never invite them over again. That was it for me and DH.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:24:05 PM

Believe me, we will never invite them over again. That was it for me and DH.


Good! That guy is obnoxious!!

recap.pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:27:38 PM

So would you find those two things rude?

Yes! Both things were rude. I'm with you about the food, if you didn't want it, make a small attempt - eat the meat part and the tortillas - you don't tell the hostess that you "don't like" what she prepared.

finally~a~mama
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:48:11 PM
Yes, quite rude. He sounds like a jerk.




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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:54:01 PM
And when he said "you know, I didn't like you when we first met...", my response would have been -

"That's ok because I don't like you NOW. So, we are even!" And I would have smiled really big!





IleneTell
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:54:56 PM
The food thing I could get past, but the I didn't like you thing was rude. He's not a good candidate for a new couples friend.



Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:56:46 PM
Ya I was more offended by the " I didn't like you" thing. I wonder what DH would have done if he had been out there when he said that. DH was the only one not out there at that moment, go figure.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Scrapalotomous
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:58:09 PM
Sounds like he is a total wanker to me.

The meal thing wouldn't have worried me, personally, too much but I can certainly understand why it would for others.

The "I didn't like you..." comment makes him sound rude and offensive. I don't blame you for keeping your distance from them.


Sally

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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:58:17 PM


Very rude. Stop hanging out with them!!

petesmom
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Posted: 2/18/2013 3:59:52 PM
He's rude. Dump them.

But. I wouldn't eat your crock pot food either. IMO all crock food tastes the same and has a rather weird texture. That's just for me, personally. I'd certainly tell you ahead of time though.

Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:02:36 PM
petesmom

Really? I don't know, never tastes weird to me. I usually only do soups, and roasts in the crock pot but wanted to try this. My kids who won't eat anything devoured it.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:20:02 PM
Yes, I find him rude. Sorry you had to deal with someone with such little tact.


Well Peas, I believe this thread has gone Thrusday.
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:24:47 PM
Yes, very rude.

Now, share that recipe. Lol!


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sacteach
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:25:03 PM
I definitely think he was rude. The food thing didn't bother me much, but his comments were definitely not appropriate. I do have a question about this part though:

We are trying to make new friends that are couples, because while we like our single friends. We want to hang with more people that have common goals like us.

As a single person, I'm curious what "common goals" you are talking about? I have many common interests with my friends that are married or single, and I usually don't differentiate between them, but what goals are you talking about that you and your husband have that you think that your single friends don't have?

Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:28:06 PM
LOL

fajitas

I use white corn tortillas (small) and then I cook them in a little oil in a pan to make them a little crispy. So good.

I also added a little cayenne pepper to the meal.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

petesmom
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:29:48 PM

petesmom

Really? I don't know, never tastes weird to me. I usually only do soups, and roasts in the crock pot but wanted to try this. My kids who won't eat anything devoured it.



Perhaps not to you. It does to me though. It's just a personal thing. I'm sure it was delicious!

Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:33:40 PM

As a single person, I'm curious what "common goals" you are talking about? I have many common interests with my friends that are married or single, and I usually don't differentiate between them, but what goals are you talking about that you and your husband have that you think that your single friends don't have?


No offense meant by this.

Don't feel like explaining.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

fishwitch
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:38:55 PM
I think they've shown you the kind of people that they are and you should believe them. They're rude and self absorbed. I'd take a big fat pass on pursuing a friendship with them.


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Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:39:41 PM
Actually sorry, I will explain.

Only one of our single friends has kids, so she is pretty settled down like us.

Our other single friends do not have kids, SO or anything so they are still in the "partying" stage. We just aren't.

We love our single friends, we just want more couple friends that like to do the same things as us etc.









Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:39:54 PM
The recipe looks great. I will be cooking this tomorrow night. Thanks for posting it!

As for crock pot food tasting funny, well, my ex-MIL could absolutely ruin ANYTHING in a crock pot. Every single thing she put it immediately got covered to the top with water "so she wouldn't burn the house down"!


Took me a very long time to risk learning to use my crock pot properly, because of so many horrible food experiences at her little Sunday dinners!



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Kinley-pea
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Posted: 2/18/2013 4:42:56 PM

Perhaps not to you. It does to me though. It's just a personal thing. I'm sure it was delicious!


I hear you. I didn't use to like crock pot food.








Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Posted: 2/18/2013 8:25:56 PM


Steer clear!

Christine58
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Posted: 2/18/2013 8:30:08 PM
That recipe looks awesome...




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Belia
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Posted: 2/18/2013 8:33:58 PM
What adult won't eat vegetables?

Like, ANY vegetables?

There are, like, a zillion different types of vegetables out there. And he doesn't just prefer one vegetable over another, but won't eat ANY OF THEM? None?

What the hell kind of adult does that?

And I'm sorry, but fajitas would be one of the easiest things in the world to pick the vegetables out of.


That's what would be the deal killer for me. Sounds like a high maintenance asshat with no common social sense.

ETA: I just printed out that recipe- looking forward to trying it. And FTR, I don't like kidney beans (or any of the dense legumes like that, really). But if you were serving me dinner I would eat them with no problem because, you know, I'm a grown up and it's just one meal.

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Posted: 2/18/2013 8:38:10 PM
See, to me that's not a fajita recipe. Fajita's are suppose to be grilled, smokey tasting. NOT crockpot mushy cooked all together. SO I can see where he probaby thought it was going to be ok..but then when he actually saw it..KWIM? I think alot of people are picky about things like that. I don't think he should have said the I didn't like you at first comment either. Was he drinking?






Miss Lerins Momma
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Posted: 2/18/2013 8:54:14 PM
Way rude!!!

To tell you he didn't like you to your face like that, is super rude and to refuse to eat your food, that's even worse. Why couldn't he just pick out some chicken? DH isn't big on veggies but he would have eaten something.








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Posted: 2/18/2013 8:56:32 PM
He sounds like a jerk that doesn't have a lot of tact.

But, as an Arizona girl who has ready access to incredible Mexican food restaurants, that recipe does not equal fajitas!

No kidney beans. Ever.


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StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 2/18/2013 8:58:46 PM
I wouldn't consider the food thing that big of a deal - I like salsa but not the veggies in Fajitas so I can understand. I'm personally not a fajita fan.

The other thing is a little weird and rude, doesn't sound like someone I'd like to hang out with going forward.




pennyring
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Posted: 2/18/2013 8:59:37 PM
We have a friend who doesn't eat vegetables, but I'm sure he would find a way to pick them out. No big deal.

This guy sounds like an ass. Don't hang out again.

I'm kind of bummed you decided to explain your common goals... because I was going with "they're swingers" until you explained it.




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Posted: 2/18/2013 9:02:24 PM
He was rude. I've never heard of doing fajitas in a crockpot and you really wouldn't be able to just pick out the chicken the way this was prepared. This is more like a shredded chicken with vegetables dish. I'm sure if you served it to me I'd like it just fine, but when I think fajitas I think of something grilled sizzling on my plate.



Ellen

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Posted: 2/19/2013 12:12:41 AM
Totally rude!!! I would NOT be socialising with them ever again.


Then later we are sitting outside and he tells me "you know I didn't like you when we first met, because of XYZ"! Um WTH? I would never tell someone that, unless we were one on one.


WTH indeed! I have been in that situation once before with a woman I used to work with. But by the time we admitted this to each other we had become good friends and we could laugh about it! But to say it to someone you'd pretty much only just met once or twice, and in front of other people? The guy is an ass.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 12:44:57 AM

We have a friend that has a weird allergy of not being able to eat cooked peppers and onions together, but he can eat them raw together??? but he never ever makes a big deal about it.


He is a jerk and I hope that the girlfriend notice.


and to hijack just a bit. Petesmom try the recipe for brisket done in the crockpot from America's test kitchen. You might be surprised.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 3:57:29 AM
Just chiming in to agree those aren't fajitas. Maybe a fajita like recipe that is good, but THERE ARE NO BEANS IN FAJITAS!!!!

I feel better now.



ashazamm
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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:49:46 AM
This 31 year old man sounds a lot to me like a 14 year old girl. Very odd and I'd never have him back again. Good thing your DH is on your side.

petesmom
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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:07:39 AM

ust chiming in to agree those aren't fajitas. Maybe a fajita like recipe that is good, but THERE ARE NO BEANS IN FAJITAS!!!!



OMG, I totally agree. those are NOT fajitas. Fajitas a grilled vegetables and meats with a spicy sauce and served sizzling.



and to hijack just a bit. Petesmom try the recipe for brisket done in the crockpot from America's test kitchen. You might be surprised.



I'll give it a whirl. Thanks!

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Posted: 2/19/2013 7:46:07 AM
I would find it rude, but more importantly, I would cease any relationship outside of work. I understand your husband has to work with him, but that is where I would have it end.



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obliolait
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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:07:09 AM
there's no way that chicken fajitas made in a crockpot are good

in a crockpot, chicken dries out and vegetables become limp. you have no taste buds.
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