If your boyfriend said this...would it upset you?

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Posted 2/19/2013 by reality_junkie in NSBR Board
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Simply_Lovely
AncestralPea

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Posted: 2/20/2013 8:10:33 AM
Clearly the only acceptable answer would be "Only if you died and after mourning the loss of you for 5 years I might consider it if I was drunk and lonely, but I'd be wishing she was you the whole time."




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Slower Joe
Probably doesn't belong here

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Posted: 2/20/2013 4:34:50 PM
Women.




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recap.pea
AncestralPea

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Posted: 2/20/2013 5:28:26 PM

When you ask a loaded question like that...be prepared for the answer.

I agree with ^^THAT^^ - you should never ask a question that you are not prepared to hear the answer to. I actually admire your BF for being honest. I doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about.

Reverse the roles....suppose you had never met your BF but you knew all his friends - are there any of his friends that you would consider? It doesn't mean you would act upon it and it sounds like your BF wouldn't but he just gave you an honest answer.

Would I like that answer - NO! But it wouldn't upset me that he told me the truth.

I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!

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Posted: 2/20/2013 5:44:44 PM

I wouldn't consider him marriage material as long as he feels this way...but at least you know what he's thinking...and how much character he has.


In that's true she has just lowered her chances of ever getting married!!

Shoot, even Jimmy Carter admitted to 'lusting in his heart' and I don't think he's been an untrustworthy husband.

Anyway, it was a dumb question that only an immature adult would ask, at least without being prepared for an honest answer.

Personally, I think Joe summed it up best.

Cinthy
PeaNut

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Posted: 2/20/2013 6:59:59 PM

When you ask a loaded question like that...be prepared for the answer.



Ditto!

dancerhelen2006
PeaNut

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Posted: 2/20/2013 8:10:46 PM
You wanted to know the answer and you got it.

That being said, if I asked that question knowing I might get a similar response, then I would be bothered by it. It'd be hard not to be.

mdoc
Peaing under the Radar

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Posted: 2/20/2013 8:23:20 PM
I would only be upset with myself - for asking that question.

Aggiemom92
PeaFixture

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Posted: 2/20/2013 8:27:32 PM

Women.


I swear this is exactly what went through my head when I read this.


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reality_junkie
PeaFixture

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Posted: 2/20/2013 8:29:46 PM
Thank you everyone for your responses. I know now that I shouldn't have asked and that my initial reaction of being hurt about it wasn't right. He wasn't saying he would do it now...only saying it if he was single and not specifically that specific friend.

Either way, we talked about it and it's all good.

This response though....is a little extreme..


YOU have sowed the seed of mistrust, and I think you should just let him go and let him find someone who trusts him and will not put him in an impossible position where he is tricked into giving a statement that makes him an infidelity suspect for no reason.

And you go find someone else, build a relationship of trust, and then be smart enought to cherish what you have instead of testing his love for you like you're in high school.


I totally trust him. I was just hurt by the comment and yeah my initial reaction was a smidge of doubt. But I'm not thinking he's secretly pining away for some female friend of his right now.

Lesson has been learned. LOL!


~Lisa

angelaspangela
PeaNut

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Posted: 2/20/2013 8:33:54 PM

This response though....is a little extreme..

YOU have sowed the seed of mistrust, and I think you should just let him go and let him find someone who trusts him and will not put him in an impossible position where he is tricked into giving a statement that makes him an infidelity suspect for no reason.

And you go find someone else, build a relationship of trust, and then be smart enought to cherish what you have instead of testing his love for you like you're in high school.


I totally trust him. I was just hurt by the comment and yeah my initial reaction was a smidge of doubt. But I'm not thinking he's secretly pining away for some female friend of his right now.


FWIW, I was telling myself the same thing when I started making a point of emphasizing the fact that I trusted my boyfriend and then I found out he was cheating on me with at least two different girls, that I know about.
So, I don't mean this in a condescending way, you might want to take a step back and just evaluate where you were coming from by asking him a question like that. Most people don't give themselves credit for how intuitive they can be when something isn't right with someone they're close with.

ETA: I dropped him like a bad habit a month after I realized I was deluding myself.

Aggiemom92
PeaFixture

PeaNut 90,200
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Posted: 2/20/2013 8:56:52 PM
"It is Doubt (so often experienced initially as weakness) that changes things."
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