S/o crazy spelled names... Anyone have a child they call by their middle name?
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 2/19/2013 by cdnstorelady in NSBR Board
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mnm_y2
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Posted: 2/19/2013 10:55:30 PM
This is common in my family. Lots of cousins and other family members go by their middle name. In my case, all my family calls me by a nickname of my middle name and many of the younger relatives don't even realize what my first name is.

My brother, his son and his step son all have the same first name. and my brother is the only one that uses his first name, but for family, we call him by a nick name as well.

I don't really see the issues. It's fairly common.


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Posted: 2/20/2013 2:47:56 AM
Dh's name is William Ryan and goes by his middle name. Hasn't really been an issue while we've been together (21 yrs) but not sure what he went through growing up. We laugh about it since we can tell telemarketers from friends and family right away ("Hi, is BILL home?" Who is that??? lol).

Plus, it's a family name. His father is William Lawrence (Bill) and his uncle is William Robert (Bo. If/when we have a son, we would like to carry on the tradition.


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pjaye
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Posted: 2/20/2013 3:18:39 AM
Why don't some of you just change it legally?
Is it hard to do in the USA?

My father isn't my biological father, my mother married him when I was 3. I used his last name all of my life but when I turned 18 it became harder as I started to need documents with my legal name on them.
I just went down to the office where they did that stuff, filled out a form, paid a small fee and it was all legal a few weeks later.
Now if I need to show my birth certificate for anything, I just saw them the change of name document as well. It's never been a problem, including getting a passport.

If it's a family name and you don't want to get rid of it totally, just switch first and middle names.

MerryMom937
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Posted: 2/20/2013 6:58:43 AM
My 61 yo husband has always been called by his middle name.

For legal, professional, or financial information, he is always listed by his full name (like utility bills, his FF/EMS certifications, DL, etc.). That avoids any problems.

Socially, he goes by his middle name. Most people don't even know his first name.

When someone calls and asks for "first name", we always know it is a phone sales call. ha ha


TREZmom
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Posted: 2/20/2013 7:24:30 AM
My oldest DS goes by his middle name. It's never been a problem. Geez, I didn't know I was setting him up for a life of failure, by doing this.

Mallie
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Posted: 2/20/2013 7:37:28 AM
I know a family with 12 daughters. All of the daughters were named Mary. They all go by their middle names. It's caused no end of problems with legal and financial documents, credit, etc. Most of them changed their first names legally at some point as adults. In fact, I think only the oldest daughter kept Mary as her legal first name, although she never uses it.

dillydally
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Posted: 2/20/2013 7:46:27 AM

I go by my middle name, always have. In college, I put my first initial and then my full middle name. When I got married, I dropped my first name, moved the middle to the first spot, my maiden to the middle and added my new last name.


That's what my best friend did. Just totally ditched her first name once she got married.


Me too. No biggie. Just like a nickname. "Hi, my name is William. Call me Bill."



It is funny how different folks perceive things. I go by a nickname that has different spellings. After years of answering to my full name and saying "but I go by ...." and then explaining how to spell it, I got tired of it, so my kids have easy to spell, no nickname names. And go figure, my son's middle name is William, and he is dying to
be "Will"

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Posted: 2/20/2013 8:10:12 AM
I have never ever used my first name as a 'first' name. I have always been called by a shortened version of my middle name and use it with my 'first' name as a middle name

So Mary Katlin is used as Kate Mary (names are changed to protect the guilty )

The only place my "real' name appears is on my birth certificate and I have never had a problem. Even when dealing with the IRS and SS


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Posted: 2/20/2013 9:01:17 AM
My brothers name is Oscar Ray Lastname and has been called Ray his whole life, never been a problem BUT he was asked in school what name he goes by and he has always just said when he is introduced "Hi, my name is Oscar but call me Ray", not a big deal really. he signs his name Oscar R Lastname though....


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Darcy_Collins
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Posted: 2/20/2013 9:27:51 AM

I know a family with 12 daughters. All of the daughters were named Mary. They all go by their middle names. It's caused no end of problems with legal and financial documents, credit, etc. Most of them changed their first names legally at some point as adults. In fact, I think only the oldest daughter kept Mary as her legal first name, although she never uses it.


Change Mary to Maria and you have one branch of my family. It makes genealogy a PITA!!! Especially as it was extremely common in New Mexico. There are pages and pages of census records where everyone is Maria or Jose.


Jo_boyce23
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Posted: 2/20/2013 9:53:33 AM
My mom calls my sister by her middle name which is love. She hates her first name because she was named after her dad. Lol


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Annabella
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Posted: 2/20/2013 10:03:42 AM

I think using an initial then middle name and last name works better for guys than girls, but that's just my opinion. I had a friend in college who went by K. Olivia Lastname. Always seemed odd to me.



I always think that looks silly now a days for both men and women. At work when you start you can ask HR to set your email to your middle name. Your credit card can be under your middle name as well as your checkbook. Really the only place you need to write your first name is on your taxes.




peaname
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Posted: 2/20/2013 12:02:35 PM
My DH's first name is James. He goes by his middle name because his father is also named James. It is so confusing, especially when telemarketers call and ask for Jim. If you call him Jim youclearly do not know him!



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peamac
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Posted: 2/20/2013 12:06:36 PM
My sister and BIL named their son after my BIL's father (unusual and not too popular name) who had died a few years previously. They call my nephew by his middle name (normal name).


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scrappygirlnextdoor
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Posted: 2/20/2013 2:59:19 PM
We did this with my youngest son. He goes by his middle name. It's only a problem at dr office and school applications, etc. Wouldn't change it though, it just sounds better this way.


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Posted: 2/20/2013 3:07:57 PM
My nephew does. He is the 4th. He, his father, and his grandfather all go by their middle names, which is an unusual name. (Their first name, ironically enough, is DH's first name.)







twinsmom-fla99
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Posted: 2/20/2013 3:08:09 PM
My youngest brother's middle name is Edward. We called him "Eddie" as a child, and that is the name he used in public until high school when he got the nickname "Skip".

When he went to college, he just went with his first name b/c it was easier. Now his college and adult friends call him by his first name. His high school friends call him Skip. And his family still calls him Ed.

He says it really isn't a big deal, but then he's pretty easy-going about things like that.

twinsmom-fla99
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Posted: 2/20/2013 3:08:09 PM
My youngest brother's middle name is Edward. We called him "Eddie" as a child, and that is the name he used in public until high school when he got the nickname "Skip".

When he went to college, he just went with his first name b/c it was easier. Now his college and adult friends call him by his first name. His high school friends call him Skip. And his family still calls him Ed.

He says it really isn't a big deal, but then he's pretty easy-going about things like that.

ETA: My middle name is Louise. There was never any chance that I was going by my middle name LOL! In fact, I dropped my middle name completely and now go by First Maiden Married name instead of First Middle Married name.

eebud
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Posted: 2/20/2013 3:13:00 PM

My husband is even worse, he goes by a nickname of his middle name.

Same with DH. Any time there is a call and they ask for him by his first name, we know it isn't anyone he knows. He is dealing with a doctor's office right now because he is having surgery next week. Sometimes, when they need to reach him at work, they ask for him by his first name. His office has no idea who they want to talk to.

My middle name is a family last name. It is not a name to be called by. I also do not use any of the many nicknames available for my name. When I was born, my mother wanted to name me Elizabeth (family name). My dad said that was fine as long as I was called Elizabeth. No Liz, no Betty, no Betsy, no Lizbeth, no Beth, etc. etc.





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bunnylady
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Posted: 2/20/2013 4:02:58 PM
My husband goes by his middle name and we like that. It's very easy to tell if someone knows him or not. If they call him by his first name, then we know they don't know him.

I would not do that to my own kid because I'm way too anal retentive. But that's my issue, not the rest of the world's, lol.


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fruitysuet
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Posted: 2/20/2013 4:05:11 PM
My DH has a different first name than his known name. Same as his own father. They were Francis Lionel and Francis Charles. Both known by their middle names (or derivative of).

DH wanted DS to follow suit. I'm not fond of the Francis but understood the family connection so we compromised that DS would be James Francis.

Much easier with forms etc.

However, big advantage of having a different first name than the one you are known by is that those pesky sales and marketing calls and junk mail are so easy to spot and get rid of! On calls if someone asks for Francis I know it's a spam call so don't even have to get into a conversation of asking who's calling to determine if we want to speak to them or not.





CnBsmommy
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Posted: 2/20/2013 4:12:32 PM
my brother & I both go by our middle names as does my DH. There was NO way I was doing that to a child. My drivers license has my middle name, not the first name. My passport, obviously, is the first name.

sues
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Posted: 2/20/2013 5:42:37 PM

If I liked the middle name more, I would use that as a first name.
It's not always that simple. Sometimes people want to use family names without the hassle of calling multiple family members by the same name.

My husband wanted his son named after him- but didn't want to use the name every day (long story). We settled on a middle name we both liked and called him by that name. It was never a big deal. It's not like we forgot his legal name when we went to the dr. or school. It's not like he ever forgot his legal name either.

Our plan was to use his first name as an initial. I have always liked that. It's not silly or stupid- it's just a different choice. When he got to be older, he decided to go by his first name (which we knew might happen). The year we moved and he switched schools, he just started fresh. Family still calls him by his middle name though....and pre-2004 friends, too.



renee_elp
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Posted: 2/20/2013 6:29:44 PM
My grandmother did not approve of my first name as I "should" have been named for her.

She always called me by my middle name; I always acted like I didn't know who she was yelling for.

Problem was between her and my mother; don't drag me into it.

msntlm
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Posted: 2/21/2013 8:40:12 AM
My grandmother always went by her middle name (I was a teen before I learned that the name she went by was a middle). When she passed away last month I was really glad they wrote Initial. Middle Last on the gravestone. Nobody would've known whose it was otherwise!

Tammy is a nickname for my legal Tamara. My parents wanted Tammy but my grandma (same one, lol) wanted me to have a "proper name" for when I'm "old and in the nursing home". I've never once gone by it and haven't had any troubles. I only use the legal name on legal/govt documents, and even then I sign Tammy.
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melanell
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Posted: 2/21/2013 9:41:40 AM
My grandfather went by his middle name and used his first initial as his middle initial. I don't know that he ever legally changed it. I think that he just never filled anything legal out with his original name.


So in other words, if his name was actually Gordon John Jones, he has always been called "John" and he has always filled out forms as John G. Jones. He really hated the name "Gordon".


My dad was another who didn't answer to the teacher when he went to school. Say he is "William", but was always called Bill or Billy as a small boy. So he had no idea his name was William and he didn't answer to it. The teacher wrote a note to my grandmother telling her to start calling my father by his correct name and they did! Both grandparents started calling him William, and his younger sister who came along later called him that, too.

But my dad still introduces himself as "Bill" and if I am writing his name or introducing him, I write/say Bill.



melanell
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Posted: 2/21/2013 9:47:38 AM
I went to school with someone who used their middle name.

His last name was a toughie if you didn't already know it, so that typically gave a teacher pause anyway, so he'd simply pronounce the last name and say "I prefer "middle name" please." all at once and he was good for the year.



firepaws
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Posted: 2/21/2013 10:55:06 AM
Not here but my sister always went by her middle name. Some people call her by her first name and it really sounds weird. I told a few people there was nobody by that name when she started getting calls asking for her by her first name...
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