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SDeven
Love Letters Pea
PeaNut 65,852
January 2003
Posts: 28,195
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Loc: Nashville, TN!
 |  Posted: 2/22/2013 8:55:08 PM
Like say in a restaurant, a patron tells your child to sit down...how do you expect your child would react? |
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momof1child
BucketHead
PeaNut 542,144
February 2012
Posts: 850
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 |  Posted: 2/22/2013 8:57:06 PM
I wouldn't talk to the child.
I would take to the mangement of the restaurant. | |
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_Betsy_
AncestralPea
PeaNut 153,004
June 2004
Posts: 4,058
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 | Posted: 2/22/2013 8:57:57 PM
I would hope that my children are not so poorly behaved that strangers feel the need to comment on it.
That said, if my kids (little, 6 and 4) were told to do something, they would probably tell me what the adult said while doing it, if it was something they should be doing in the first place.
My 6 year old would feel like she had to comply, my 4 year old would probably be oblivious.
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lovestorun
PeaNut 90,754
June 2003
Posts: 6,971
Layouts: 38
Loc: So Cal
 | Posted: 2/22/2013 9:00:33 PM
I would expect the child would go sit down.
If I were the kid, I would be scared of getting in trouble with my parents, so I would have complied.
Then again, as a child, I wouldn't be running around a restaurant disturbing someone to the point where a stranger had to tell me how to behave.
I think it depends on the situation. | |
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Steph (D)Rebel
I'm what the *buzz* is all about!
PeaNut 69,964
February 2003
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Loc: South Centralish Ohio
| Posted: 2/22/2013 9:01:21 PM
My mind instantly thought they'd be telling them to sit down because they were out of their seats during dinner.
I wouldn't expect my children to act in a way that a stranger would need to tell them to sit down. There is a very VERY good chance that by the time that happened I would've already swatted them on the rear end and yanked them out of the restaurant.
If it was just random 'hey can you sit down' for a decent reason they'd be expected to be respectful of the adult who is asking and as long as it's not a seriously creepy situation/request they'd more than likely comply.
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bugluver
PeaAddict
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April 2008
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 | Posted: 2/22/2013 9:01:38 PM
When he was younger he would have probably come and climbed in my lap or hung on my arm scared of the stranger. He is 14 now so if this happened he would just come back and sit down. I have always been pretty tough especially in public so while he is not perfect misbehaving while out rarely happened. | |
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DastardlyBoo
pea long and prosper
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April 2003
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alittleintrepid
PeaAddict
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November 2007
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| Posted: 2/22/2013 9:03:05 PM
If my children were asked to sit in a restaurant, they may or may not comply at first but you can be damn sure that I would be mortified and would make them comply.
I should point out that it would never have reached that stage as kids getting up from the table during the meal is a huge pet peeve in these parts.
I think that my DS would likely follow a simple direction from a stranger such as "tie your shoe" but my dd wouldn't. | |
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moveablefeast
do justice, love mercy
PeaNut 265,707
June 2006
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Loc: Northern Virginia
 | Posted: 2/22/2013 9:07:57 PM
Just going to be honest here... I have high expectations of my child's behavior, especially in public, but heck no I don't expect her to comply with strangers' direction.
If I have put you in charge of my child, then you have the authority to tell her what to do and I do expect her compliance with your appropriate directions. If I have not put you in charge of my child, then frankly, I'm not interested in 99% of what you might have to say about her behavior. If she needs to sit down or be quieter, I've already told her that, and I'm already working on it - I've got it under control.
Moreover, I want her to have an instant skepticism about a stranger's command. I want her to immediately think, "I don't know this person, and they are telling me what to do. Is this right or wrong?" We don't talk "stranger danger" in our house, but we sure do talk about what you should do if someone you don't know talks to you.
I absolutely do not offer direction to a stranger's child unless I suspect the child is in danger. The day we found a small child of maybe four at most walking around in the mall alone - you bet we asked "Where's your mommy?" But beyond matters of safety, I don't offer my input. I assume it is unwelcome, and it's not my place.
* ETA: except the time a child at the inside playground was spitting on my daughter, and there was no parent to be found. I intervened at that moment too, and without apology. | |
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cindosha
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 1,202
August 1999
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Loc: Grand Blanc, MI
 | Posted: 2/22/2013 10:34:28 PM
My child would not be running around in a restaurant. Period. They always knew what the expectations were in public places because I taught them manners and respect.
Cindy |
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eversograceful1
Feeling Spaztastic!
PeaNut 69,237
February 2003
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| Posted: 2/22/2013 10:45:21 PM
"I absolutely do not offer direction to a stranger's child unless I suspect the child is in danger."
This * |
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CnBsmommy
PeaAddict
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April 2007
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| Posted: 2/22/2013 10:57:25 PM
yes, my children would listen. but they would listen because they've been taught to respect authority. my kids wouldn't have had to be told that in a restaurant though because they listen to me. the one time a stranger did tell them something it was during a field trip. they came to me immediately & told me what happened....they were tossing rocks down a well at a historical site. I then took the kids back to the adult to have them apologize. As this happened I learned that it wasn't even my kid or the other one who came to me...it was another boy in the group, who mine & his friend were with. The other boy ran & hid, he was 5th grade and known for very bad behavior. My son & his friend were with him so they got "the lecture" from the lady. My son & his friend were not even upset. | |
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amblet
Jeepers PEApers
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April 2003
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| Posted: 2/22/2013 11:06:39 PM
I would hope that my children would not need to be told to sit down in a restaurant by some random stranger. When we were little and they acted that way we would already be walking out the door. That being said I never expect my children to do something just because an adult says so. They are not allowed to be out of control or snotty about it but no random stranger has the right to tell my children what to do. I also never taught them that just because somebody was an adult they were smarter than they were.
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ScrampingMomof3
PeaAddict
PeaNut 154,784
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| Posted: 2/22/2013 11:13:47 PM
If it was in the midst of my child acting disrespectfully, then yes.
For the most part, they save their disrespectful behavior for me at home (yea me).
I have told children "excuse me" when they are running around a clothing rack or display near me in a store. I usually try to wait to let the parent redirect their behavior but if I don't I try to say just a few words to communicate that their behavior needs to be adjusted.
We don't eat out very often, but lately, I have noticed that parents will let children run around in stores -- acting like it was a playground -- through racks, up and down aisles, climbing in and out of shopping carts. Running and screaming most of the time!
The parents are usually close by and say nothing or are no where to be seen. We have witnessed at least 2 times when unattended children have tipped over shopping carts while in/on them. It was one of those things that seemed to happen in slow motion and just far away enough to not stop it from happening.
Our children were of the age where they wanted to playing around in/on the cart and got a very clear lesson on why we didn't allow them to do that! | |
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SuPeaNatural
PeaAddict
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Loc: Queensland, Australia
 | Posted: 2/22/2013 11:51:04 PM
Strangers never had to say anything to my child\ren because...
My child would not be running around in a restaurant. Period. They always knew what the expectations were in public places because I taught them manners and respect.
If a child was running riot in a restaurant and disturbing me, I would talk to the manager and get him to deal with it. These days you never know how people will react if you approach them directly. I don't want to be a victim of "restaurant rage".  |
They're all crazy. They're all crazy except you and me. Sometimes I have my doubts about you! Martin - Dracula, 1931 | |
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Mary Kay Lady
Jeepers PEApers
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| Posted: 2/22/2013 11:51:31 PM
When my children were younger I never allowed them to climb all over the place in a restuant. They were taught that they were to sit quietly at the table and use an "inside voice."
That said, if my child was out of their seat and was asked to go sit down by another adult I would expect them to politely comply.
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recap.pea
StuckOnPeas
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December 2006
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 12:00:43 AM
Like say in a restaurant, a patron tells your child to sit down...how do you expect your child would react?
I would expect the child to sit down - children should respect adults and be mindful.
That said...I don't think strangers should be telling someone else's child what to do - unless it is a dangerous or very disruptive situation. For instance, if a child was climbing a large tree, I would tell the child to get down (safety reasons). If a child came over and was crawling under my table and my feet, I would tell the child to get out from under the table. But it would be extreme cases - I wouldn't tell a strange child what to do under usual circumstances. | |
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*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)
PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 12:32:51 AM
Uh, no.
I would be telling my kids to sit down before anyone else could if they needed to because I don't put up with misbehaving kids in public places |
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SueSume
AncestralPea
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May 2006
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 12:48:22 AM
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~KimPea~
StuckOnPeas
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 1:26:16 AM
Just going to be honest here... I have high expectations of my child's behavior, especially in public, but heck no I don't expect her to comply with strangers' direction.
If I have put you in charge of my child, then you have the authority to tell her what to do and I do expect her compliance with your appropriate directions. If I have not put you in charge of my child, then frankly, I'm not interested in 99% of what you might have to say about her behavior. If she needs to sit down or be quieter, I've already told her that, and I'm already working on it - I've got it under control.
Moreover, I want her to have an instant skepticism about a stranger's command. I want her to immediately think, "I don't know this person, and they are telling me what to do. Is this right or wrong?" We don't talk "stranger danger" in our house, but we sure do talk about what you should do if someone you don't know talks to you.
This. I don't leave my kids unattended, and if they have behavior that needs addressed I'm already handling it. I can correct the situation just fine without needing a stranger to chime in.
We teach our kids to be respectful of adults but at the same time I want them to not be afraid to question authority. If a stranger tells them to do something I want their first thoughts to be 'who is this person and why do they think they can tell me what to do?' I don't tolerate my kids being disruptive to others. I also don't tolerate strangers pushing their expectations for behavior onto my kids.
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gar
Whoopea!
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October 2004
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 2:53:01 AM
Their instinctive belief that adults are in charge would probably mean that they would comply but it never happened so I'm just guessing.
Care to give us more info?
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"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
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P8onsmommy
PeaNut
PeaNut 471,308
June 2010
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 | Posted: 2/23/2013 2:54:17 AM
My SIL has three kids. Each with their own story, but the youngest will be two in March. He will NOT sit still anywhere. He runs crazy through the entire place and no one says anything. My SIL sends her husband chasing him but even if the little one is at the table, he is standing up getting fed. It drives me crazy! I hate going to eat with them because I'm embarrassed. ( autocorrect)
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dottyscrapper
PeaAddict
PeaNut 311,985
April 2007
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 3:15:11 AM
I would expect them to but I don't really know as it's never been an issue. I don't accept bad behaviour anywhere public or at home.
I, on the other hand would have no hesistation in telling someone else's child to go and sit down if he/she was misbehaving and bothering me/the family while we was eating a meal.
I've done this in the past when an obnoxious kid was at the help yourself salad bar and eating bits from all the different dishes I told him to go back and sit with his parents and I also told the waitress what was happening!
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lindywholoveskids
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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September 2004
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Loc: Northern California
| Posted: 2/23/2013 6:22:23 AM
I have witnessed abuse in stores, and I was a mandated reporter. I made the mistake of talking to the parent- once.
Now I realize that there is a huge difference between ignoring out of control behavior and hitting children.
So, I always go to the management , or if it's serious - ill call the police/ cps.
If I saw shopping carts being tipped over, I would go immediately to the store manager because that child is in physical danger.
I still don't get the standing up in chairs/ boosters,etc restaurants thing. We have a family member that ad a 2yr old fall out of their high chair. He's got huge brain damage, and is paralyzed.
Also, we may be talking about two things that relate
1- basic safety
2- neglect on the part of parents. | |
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lindywholoveskids
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 168,696
September 2004
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 6:26:11 AM
Oh, our grandson would comply, and be freaked out if a stranger corrected him. Good thing his parents are great at making sure he's safe and polite. He's 2&1/2, so he can be a bit challenging at times. | |
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KittenOnTheKeys
PeaFixture
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February 2011
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 6:52:04 AM
That is hard to say.
My kids behave in public. I have a couple very short kids who often get mistaken for 3-4 years below their age and get raves on their behavior.  Occasionally we get the rare cranky older person where the mere sight of a child sets them off. If it is one of these, my kids do what they need to do then come back.
Now we did have an incident we still laugh about. We were at this place and I let my gluten free kid have some ice cream in a special little cup for the gf. He was holding it up licking it as one would eat an ice cream cone. It is nowhere close to being a fancy place, so I didn't choose that as an issue to deal with - let him pretend he is eating a real ice cream cone. Some lady walks by and hands him a spoon. The look on his face was priceless. We all start laughing because of the way he is reacting. He did choose to use the spoon after that but it was not expected of him. |
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Julee
=)
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October 2004
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 7:17:02 AM
yes, my children would listen. but they would listen because they've been taught to respect authority
Respectfully asking, what does this mean? Did you list all figures of authrity or does that include any random adult speaking to your child?
I do not want my child to think any adult can or should be telling her what to do. I don't want her getting into some stranger's car, etc. Because she feels she must respect authority. Age and size, or being in the same restaurant or park, does not give that person authority over a child.
And I agree with not speaking to a random child with what I want them to do outside of matters of safety. But I truly see few situations like what has been described here. Mostly I see parents right there, who just seem powerless or clueless with what to do with their snowflake. |
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writermom1
Thrift Whisperer
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November 2003
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 7:34:54 AM
If the adult has authority in that venue certainly.
A store employee, wait staff, etc. monitoring safety and venue standards is to be respected.
Random older person? When they are old enough to be autonomous enough that this arises I have taught discretion.
The argument that to teach children to respect authority of adults makes them prey doesn't hold water with me. You can teach a child to respect a lifeguard or other adult and discern reasonable behavior requests as applied to a venue without them leaping into the first car that comes along.
The "your not the boss of me" kids aren't safer - they're just brats.
I feel the same about the sit down scenario. Adults can be bratty too.  |
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Julee
=)
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October 2004
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 7:45:42 AM
That's why I asked what "taught to respect authority" meant. A random restaurant patron is not in authority. A young child especially may not be able to discern who is in charge at a park. I just bristle at the statement that "my child is taught to respect authority." It comes across as very black and white to me. It doesn't sound situational or judicious to me at all.
ETA - and I was thinking younger children while reading this thread. Ones who would be running in a restaurant, etc. |
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Maryland
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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May 2003
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 7:55:50 AM
I would make sure that my kid wasn't behaving so badly that a stranger felt the need to discipline her. If they did, it would be more embarrassing to me that I can't control my child. If my daughters were behaving badly, I would have no problem with a stranger correcting them. My kids are told to respect authority, so they would listen. But as I said, I wouldn't let it get that far because I should be the one to make them behave, not a stranger.
I have never seen others correct someone elses kid. I would never do it, if they were that bad I would talk to the restauirant manager, not to the child. IF the kid is that bad, the parent is probably worse. But my husband and I will complain to each other about it, just not to the child.
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moveablefeast
do justice, love mercy
PeaNut 265,707
June 2006
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Loc: Northern Virginia
| Posted: 2/23/2013 8:10:46 AM
You can teach a child to respect a lifeguard or other adult and discern reasonable behavior requests as applied to a venue without them leaping into the first car that comes along.
In our house, when we go to the pool, it is said, "The lifeguard is in charge because they are responsible for keeping everyone safe. You do what they tell you to do, and if you think it's wrong, you come ask me immediately." When we go to a drop-off birthday party at the bounce house, it is "You listen to what you are told to do. Birthday kid's mom is in charge, and the people who work here are in charge too. You do what they tell you to do, and if you need something, you find a person in the uniform or you go to birthday kid's mom for help."
We very much believe in authority and respect, but, for example, we were at a playground in the fall with a friend. The tot lot is open to a large grassy field (it is kept mowed and is not fenced - it is common space in the development). The kids had a big bouncy ball and were playing with it in the grassy area. A random person walking down the sidewalk decided to tell the children to go back to the tot lot. I didn't expect them to listen to that. I was 30 feet away, they were fine, we were not trespassing, and the person was not a neighborhood official, a police officer, or really anything but a busybody. So no, I didn't expect the kids to listen to that. I felt it was appropriate for them to question that authority - respectfully of course - they don't need to snarl "You're not the boss of me" but they can certainly say "Excuse me ma'am, but I don't think we are doing anything wrong." in that case they were not, and I didn't expect them to obey that individual.
Oh! Oh! And then there was the total stranger who came out to the tot lot close to my house and started demanding that the children tell her where they lived, and then told them they couldn't be on the tot lot because they were "disturbing the neighbors". At 11:30 on a summer weekday morning. I don't EVEN think so. I was sitting right there, on a bench not ten feet from the play structure, and they were doing absolutely nothing wrong. And to walk up to the children and start reprimanding them for being on their own neighborhood playground at an appropriate hour, while completely bypassing the adults sitting there watching the children play? Yeah, no, not so much. I would have overlooked a well-timed "You're not the boss of me" on that one.
Another example - I was at the mall with my then maybe 3 year old, buying a birthday present for someone else. She got pissed in PBK when she saw something she just had to have, I said no, and she had a fit. I literally picked her up and carried her out kicking and screaming. Along the way a woman sneered at us and said, "You should get that child under control - that's no way to behave." Well, no kidding, lady - I'm carrying her out of the mall and to the car. I'm dealing with it, and your input is unwelcome. | |
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PeaFixture
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 8:20:30 AM
I would not interact with a stranger's child unless some kind of harm could come to them.
In the case of the restaurant I might say something to the parents or go to restaurant management.
When DH was small he did not act inappropriately in public because it just wasn't permitted. If he got fussy in a restaurant DH or I would take him outside or to a lobby/waiting area so we would't ruin someone else's dining experience.
I would expect my child to ignore a stranger and we taught him the stranger danger safety rules | |
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Sue_Pea
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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 | Posted: 2/23/2013 9:33:35 AM
I was trying to figure out why a child would be standing up in a restaurant. I honestly can't come up with anything. |
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Sue_Pea
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 9:40:18 AM
A long time ago, I was a manager of a children's area in a department store. A small child climbed onto a display. I told him to get down. He did. It was for his own safety- and I worked there, so yeah, he needed to listen to me.
Do I go around correcting kids in general? Nope. I might make snarky comments to my friends about their behavior, but it's not my job to correct children in public. |
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I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!
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July 2003
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 10:39:55 AM
I would expect my child to sit down.
I think it takes a lot for *most* people (strangers) to tell someone else's child to behave, so if someone told my child to sit down in a restaurant, I would have to think my child had disturbed their desire to have a quiet dinner....and I'd be mortified.
When he was little, but old enough to go to the bathroom by himself at a restaurant, I would have to watch him like a hawk...on his way back his natural exuberance would sometimes get the better of him and he'd start running. We had lots of long talks about running in a restaurant/store/public building, but even when he did burst into a sprint, I would stop him before he disrupted anyone. | |
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benem
Yo, that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt.
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October 2011
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 11:04:24 AM
I had this situation recently and posted about it. There were 3 kids in the 10-11 range who decided to cross the train tracks, at night, when the gates were down and the lights were flashing and a train was at the station. One of them, the boy, thought it was funny to stop on the tracks and dance around like a moron. I saw they were looking to go and I thought about stopping them but there was a woman with them who was either a parent or caretaker and it was her job to do that. Which she didn't.
It still bugs me that I didn't step in. I did speak sharply to her about allowing that but she just gave me this weird look like she didn't understand English or something. |
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--SueSume, 3/21/13
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BuckeyeSandy
Old Dogs are Best!
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June 2003
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 11:18:51 AM
Safety issue - yes
And most of the "corrections from strangers" I have ever received or witnessed were safety related.
"Please don't climb/go there"
Type of stuff, and more than once warnings like "stop there!" at Costco or a big box hardware store. |
Sandy
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"Retired" after 22 years of an Air Force Career
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KristinL16
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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April 2004
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| Posted: 2/23/2013 11:26:59 AM
In most situations I would expect them to listen. If I am standing right there and someone corrected my child I would be irritated. But if I was out of sight it would be different.
We were at a mcDonalds with a large play gym last week. There was a little boy was about 4 that pushed my one year old over on purpose. The first time I didn't say anything but when I realized that the woman I thought was his mom was not with him, I said something the next time ( he had also pushed another little girl in the meantime). I told him "No pushing" as he started to push DS again. He had a look like he was upset and then his dad came over. I think he saw the push that time but didn't say anything to me. I felt bad for saying something but was not going to sit there and let him push my son with no intervention. |
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SDeven
Love Letters Pea
PeaNut 65,852
January 2003
Posts: 28,195
Layouts: 380
Loc: Nashville, TN!
| Posted: 2/23/2013 11:55:24 AM
Do not want my child to think any adult can or should be telling her what to do. I don't want her getting into some stranger's car, etc. Because she feels she must respect authority. Age and size, or being in the same restaurant or park, does not give that person authority over a child.
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This is how I feel too.
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CnBsmommy
PeaAddict
PeaNut 308,331
April 2007
Posts: 1,098
Layouts: 0
Loc: Southwest
| Posted: 2/23/2013 12:04:19 PM
while teaching children to respect authority, it's common to teach them that they don't get into cars with strangers, go places with strangers, what is appropriate & inappropriate behavior, etc... If an adult asked them to stop a behavior, there's generally a logical & good reason. A child, even young ones, know when they are misbehaving.
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melanell
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 26,836
January 2002
Posts: 14,446
Layouts: 86
| Posted: 2/23/2013 12:13:49 PM
If my kid wouldn't sit down I would have removed their little butt from the restaurant before anyone else could ever say anything to them.
When we're at a restaurant I am all over my kids' cases to ensure optimal behavior. They know darn well they will leave if they don't act appropriately while we are there.
Which is why I hate taking DS #2 to a restaurant.....I wind up leaving with him at least 25% of the time, which is no fun for me at all. |
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KateMarie
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 165,323
August 2004
Posts: 5,081
Layouts: 0
Loc: Just outside of Boston, Ma.
| Posted: 2/23/2013 12:17:05 PM
My mind instantly thought they'd be telling them to sit down because they were out of their seats during dinner.
I wouldn't expect my children to act in a way that a stranger would need to tell them to sit down. There is a very VERY good chance that by the time that happened I would've already swatted them on the rear end and yanked them out of the restaurant.
If it was just random 'hey can you sit down' for a decent reason they'd be expected to be respectful of the adult who is asking and as long as it's not a seriously creepy situation/request they'd more than likely comply.
This sums it up for me. |
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scrap4maddie
Sometimes you harm the cause more than you help.
PeaNut 175,985
November 2004
Posts: 12,490
Layouts: 33
Loc: Buffalo NY
| Posted: 2/23/2013 12:37:22 PM
I closely watch my children and make them behave so that wouldn't be an issue.
If you don't want someone to speak to your children then watch them and don't let them be disruptive to others.
I don't know why we have to keep going over this? |
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KristinL16
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 142,870
April 2004
Posts: 12,258
Layouts: 102
Loc: MN
| Posted: 2/23/2013 12:44:13 PM
Do not want my child to think any adult can or should be telling her what to do. I don't want her getting into some stranger's car, etc. Because she feels she must respect authority. Age and size, or being in the same restaurant or park, does not give that person authority over a child.
Seems like this line of thinking, while having good intentions, could be part of the reason why there is such a lack of authority and disrespectful behavior in this country (according to many peas). There is a big difference between children being taught to respect authority, especially when you are misbehaving, and not getting into a car with a stranger.
A few years ago I posted about a child who was in our neighborhood who was always at the playground without a parent. He was probably about 5. He would often do dangerous things like climb on the top of the slide or walk on the beams. When I told him not to do that he repeatedly told me "I don't have to listen to you because you aren't my mom". I have no doubts in that situation that if he had fallen his mom would have asked why I didn't say anything. |
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BudgetMama
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 138,670
March 2004
Posts: 2,156
Layouts: 2
Loc: Oregon
| Posted: 2/23/2013 1:03:21 PM
I'm sure in church both my kids have been told to not run or yell - after service the kids get a bit wound up sometimes. But I consider that community and almost EXPECT others to correct my kids if I'm not there to do it myself.
I don't think a stranger had ever corrected my kids in public except for one store I go to every week that has flat carts (it's a bulk store) that told my son many many times to not be on the cart. They don't any more. He's more danger loose than he is sitting nicely "criss cross applesauce" on the cart. | |
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pynk E
PeaNut 48,314
September 2002
Posts: 13,259
Layouts: 295
| Posted: 2/23/2013 1:04:07 PM
It takes a village to raise a child. If my child was misbehaving and a stranger redirected him I expect my child to comply and I would apologize to the stranger for my child disrupting their dinner. I hope my child was never be 'that child' but I am not so blind to think he couldn't of been. My boys are now past that age however in the early years I'm sure they had a moment or two while we weren't looking.
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SabrinaM
Proud Member of THE MOB
PeaNut 5,735
August 2000
Posts: 24,759
Layouts: 2
 | Posted: 2/23/2013 1:25:49 PM
My children have never been called down in public by a stranger. In school, when they're given a direction I expect them to behave accordingly and respect authority. Honestly, from what I understand, my children are "model students" and are rarely off task or out of line.  |
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Sabrina
Recession: When your neighbor loses his job
Depression: When you lose yours
Recovery: When Obama loses his
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Julee
=)
PeaNut 171,562
October 2004
Posts: 10,040
Layouts: 0
Loc: The 'Nati
| Posted: 2/23/2013 3:25:15 PM
I think there is vast amount of ground in between "if a stranger told my child what to do, they would, because they've been taught to respect authority" and the "you're not the boss of me brats who are running roughshod through restaurants and stores" and are all that is wrong with the direction the country is going. I think it's a great question and a valuable discussion. Most people who post here will say their child does not behave like this in public or they would get to them first so they wouldn't have to ever listen to someone else tell them what to do in public.
I'm coming from somewhere in the middle of the two extremes above. By God-given personality, my daughter is the most compliant child I've ever known. Raising her has been frustrating and even scary. I might jump for joy if she ever told someone else that they weren't the boss of her. Teaching her about people in authority in certain venues and random strangers at parks, etc. has been like pulling teeth. The lifeguard and the stranger were all the same to her. She would have been the child climbing into someone's car. Not because she's stupid or hasn't been talked to ad nauseum about various situations, but because she is just wired to listen to what people tell her. Any person. She's almost 11 now and has matured to the point of understanding people and situations better, but she still is very slow to use her voice and still extremely compliant. Very scary.
So, anyway, just because I have not taught my child to respect just any stranger's message to her, does not mean I let her run wild and scoff at everyone. I may have been coming at the question from a different angle.
Plus, my special snowflake would never have to be told to sit down in a restaurant. |
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doesitmatter?
AncestralPea
PeaNut 509,811
May 2011
Posts: 4,847
Layouts: 21
| Posted: 2/23/2013 3:34:51 PM
I agree with eversigraceful - cant quote in my phone! |
| Child of God, follower of Jesus, and so thankful for His presence in my life <>< | |
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Miss Lerins Momma
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 151,660
June 2004
Posts: 13,082
Layouts: 38
Loc: KY
| Posted: 2/23/2013 3:36:42 PM
I would hope that my children are not so poorly behaved that strangers feel the need to comment on it.
me too.
But to answer the OP, I'd make sure my kids do as they were told, or stopped misbehaving. |
Trolls *heart* me!! | |
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