wedding gripe

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Posted 2/23/2013 by ginacivey in NSBR Board
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ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:19:26 AM
i am usually 'to each his own' when it comes to weddings

i don't expect nor judge

but DAMN!

i am invited to the wedding of my DILs brother

i've known him practically his whole life

i found out last night that the chapel is not heated.

um...it's February - in Missouri - two days after a prolific (for us) snow and ice storm

the high today? 33

now, granted, when they reserved this particular chapel they didn't know we would have ice on the ground

but they did know it was February...in Missouri

normal highs are about 45...even that it too cold to sit in an unheated church

what the hell are people thinking

am i going? probably not to the wedding - i was on the fence anyway but this might have swayed my decision

we might stop in at the reception

anyway...i just needed to vent

jillt1405
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:35:04 AM
Oh get over yourself and put a warm coat on!


MrsT
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ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:39:11 AM
says the gal 'living in the sun'


Pretty In PeaNK

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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:40:46 AM

i am usually 'to each his own' when it comes to weddings

i don't expect nor judge

but DAMN!

i am invited to the wedding of my DILs brother

i've known him practically his whole life

i found out last night that the chapel is not heated.

um...it's February - in Missouri - two days after a prolific (for us) snow and ice storm

the high today? 33

now, granted, when they reserved this particular chapel they didn't know we would have ice on the ground

but they did know it was February...in Missouri

normal highs are about 45...even that it too cold to sit in an unheated church

what the hell are people thinking

am i going? probably not to the wedding - i was on the fence anyway but this might have swayed my decision

we might stop in at the reception

anyway...i just needed to vent
Good thing you were born this century. Most churches in history weren't heated at all.

It could be below zero, and if the person getting married was someone I cared about, I'd be there. No matter what.

This will likely be the best day of their life, and you get to be a part of it. I think you have a poor attitude.



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ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:43:55 AM
hmmm....maybe i could dig out a coat

it still makes me wonder why?

it's not an active chapel...they don't have services there

maybe i'll suck it up ...

ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:46:17 AM
and ya know what else

thanks for being ballsy enough to say something

maybe the others thought the same thing but didn't reply
if more people said what they think .... the world would be better place!

that doesn't mean all you keyboard bangers can jump on the bandwagon either...

or come up with some lame...'i thought so too but wasn't gonna say anything'

gina

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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:47:32 AM
Maybe it wasn't the greatest planning on their part, but I would go. A wedding ceremony isn't usually that long, and you can just dress warmly. I saw an episode of 4 Weddings once where the wedding was outdoors, in a pavilion in a public park. The actual pavilion was fine, but guests had to walk about a mile to get there, and this was in the summer in someplace like Georgia! Everyone was sweating, etc. Obviously the couple didn't think what the location would be like on the actual day of the wedding.


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PierKiss
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:49:14 AM
I would still go. The most you'll have to sit in there is for an hour right? I'd wear a very warm coat, bring my nice warm gloves and maybe a throw blanket and call it good. And I do not handle cold well at all!

I also wouldn't skip the wedding but go to the reception. I find that to be rude.



UpNorth Scrapper
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:50:01 AM
As someone who lives in northern Minnesota, I know that I could easily handle being in an unheated church when it is 35 degrees outside. I'm guessing they'll keep the service short. You'll be fine.


Ellen

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StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:50:24 AM
I went to a funeral at an unheated church last winter. It also wasn't being used for services. They did bring in space heaters though. Between the heaters & the people packed in like sardines it wasn't too bad.




ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:50:35 AM
as to the - reception, no wedding

here it's commonplace -

but i probably will just suck it up and wear a coat

or maybe a snuggie!

gina

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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:51:48 AM
It's definitely not the greatest plan... That's for sure. But, I would have no qualms about throwing on my winter coat and taking a blanket/throw to wrap around me while I sat there through the wedding.

Especially if this was for someone really important to me...

ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:52:06 AM
i guess sometimes a gal just needs some perspective


ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:55:35 AM
and 'pink'
no need to copy and paste
i've been here over a decade
and have yet to delete a post
even if they suck

but i get that you are just playing by the rules

slkmommy
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:56:41 AM
The only thing I would add is that a couple years ago if I got a chill I was done for the whole day.

Handwarmers?





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TankTop
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:57:23 AM
I would imagine they have some portable heaters. Even a zillion candles will heat the place up nicely.

It will be fine. Wear a coat and a scarf. I find a scarf keeps me really warm.


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momofkandn
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Posted: 2/23/2013 8:57:33 AM
OP, I think you are perfectly justified in griping. When planning a wedding, it's simply polite to think of the comfort of your guests. An unheated church is uncomfortable. But I'm with the others that it wouldn't keep me from going. Have fun. Wear a coat. Sit close to the person beside you.

Just T
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Posted: 2/23/2013 9:49:15 AM
I get your gripe, too. I'd probably go, but definitely bundle up.

When my best friend from high school got married, it was in the Jewel Box. (For those of you not familiar with St. Louis, it's a beautiful place, but it's a greenhouse). She got married in September, and omg...it was SOOOOO hot. I was a bridesmaid, and we wore these heavy, taffeta, full length dresses. It's a wonder no one passed out. The only thing I remember about her wedding was how hot it was and how I couldn't wait for it to end. Oh, and how as I stood there with sweat dripping off of me, I wondered why in the world someone would plan a summer wedding in St. Louis in a greenhouse.

Gripe away OP! Just don't gripe to the bride and groom.

Sarah*H
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Posted: 2/23/2013 9:51:36 AM
We had our wedding in an un-air conditioned chapel in August. The fans didn't help much. I bet there were a lot of people who felt the same way you do and wished we had more common sense.



Free~Bird
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Posted: 2/23/2013 9:52:04 AM
pack that church with people, and it will be warmer than you think. I've shot weddings in the summer where the thermostat started out at 68 degrees, and by the time the wedding was over we were all boiling.


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Posted: 2/23/2013 9:52:43 AM
Don't forget your fuzzy boots!

ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 9:53:00 AM
i've attended weddings at the jewel box

it's GORGEOUS

and HOT!

gina

Just T
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Posted: 2/23/2013 9:55:49 AM

i've attended weddings at the jewel box

it's GORGEOUS

and HOT!



Yep. That pretty much sums it up. LOL

styxgirl
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Posted: 2/23/2013 9:56:00 AM
I don't blame you for griping. I would too! If it was someone that I really love, I would still gripe (but not to them) and then bundle up and go!

I've gone to an NFL football game when it was about 40 degrees. Of course it was much longer than a wedding. I had handwarmers, footwarmers, coat, hat, gloves, long-underwear and a blanket! I went because I LOVE football! LOL

I still griped about the cold though ...


Nicole

ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 9:59:24 AM
i go to games at lambeau...so i know cold

i could wear my coveralls and parka....

i'll just wear slacks with cuddle duds under them with long black puffy coat

i feel sorry for the bridesmaids

gina

**cindyupnorth**
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Posted: 2/23/2013 10:01:26 AM
"and ya know what else

thanks for being ballsy enough to say something

maybe the others thought the same thing but didn't reply
if more people said what they think .... the world would be better place!

that doesn't mean all you keyboard bangers can jump on the bandwagon either...

or come up with some lame...'i thought so too but wasn't gonna say anything'

gina"
--------------------------------------------

HA!!! you remember I'm still here, right?!! LOL
I'm with upnorth. We live in northern MN..some people would probably be wearing short dresses to the ceremony!! heck that's warm..BUT I would NEVER EVER EVER want to take away from YOUR thread. ..soooo
I would just dress warm. They most likely will have a few space heaters going, and those type of ceremonys are usually pretty short. You'll be fine! Heck ya won't even get frostbit with those temps!
Report back of course!






I-95
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Posted: 2/23/2013 10:19:04 AM
I'll bet they will have portable heaters all around the walls.

Dress warm and enjoy the service. The bride and groom will be blessed by your presence.

kleewilkes
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Posted: 2/23/2013 10:27:27 AM
I would go take a cushion because the pews will be cold and a blanket. Have fun with it. Oh and gloves.

*maureen*
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Posted: 2/23/2013 10:28:52 AM
Maybe they decided to have the wedding there to keep the whiners away....

Annabella
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Posted: 2/23/2013 10:30:04 AM
I don't know I'd assume she didn't think of it after all she will the the coldest one in her wedding dress. I would politely ask if there will be space heaters, at least in the front for the couple and her front row guests.


and 'pink'
no need to copy and paste
i've been here over a decade
and have yet to delete a post
even if they suck

but i get that you are just playing by the rules

Pink is just being annoying.




junniper
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Posted: 2/23/2013 10:37:20 AM
I hope there are space heaters and it is a short ceremony! I hate being cold too.



thanks for being ballsy enough to say something

maybe the others thought the same thing but didn't reply
if more people said what they think .... the world would be better place!
I just wanted to say that this is awesome! I think if more people has this attitude then the world would be a better place.

Have fun at the wedding.





benem
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Posted: 2/23/2013 10:41:22 AM
That sounds awful. I haven't done that but I have been IN weddings where the church had no AC and it was over 100 and there we were all dressed up and sweating and getting pictures taken too. You just suffer. At least I didn't wear wool cutaways like the men did!


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MsChiff
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Posted: 2/23/2013 11:06:09 AM
If it makes you feel any better, we attended a wedding held in an unheated church. In Ireland. In early March. It was cold and damp (and I'm a NYer) but we all survived. I did feel sorry for the maid of honor as she had to wear a strapless dress.


I also wouldn't skip the wedding but go to the reception. I find that to be rude.


Regardless of how common it is, it's still rude. The most important part of the day is the actual wedding ceremony, not the reception.






eebud
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Posted: 2/23/2013 11:12:45 AM

pack that church with people, and it will be warmer than you think.

That was my first thought too. If it is a chapel where services are no longer held, maybe it is small enough that it won't be hard to fill up.

Last weekend, I visited a small mid-1800's church that has historical significance to my family. They opened the church for us to see and stay however long we wanted. Granted, this was in South Louisiana but it was probably the coldest day they had there in a very long time. I think it was no more than upper 30's, maybe 40 when we were there. Inside the church was not bad at all. I was actually surprised. Of course, inside the church we were able to get out of the wind so that helped a lot.

Go for it and enjoy!!





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jennifw
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Posted: 2/23/2013 11:15:24 AM

it still makes me wonder why?

it's not an active chapel...they don't have services there



Unheated says "old" to me. Maybe the chapel has special meaning to the bride's family?

Lindapinda
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Posted: 2/23/2013 11:22:22 AM
Old churches where I live are not always heated. It's damaging to the building and interior from what I've heard. But we're talking 1000 year old churches.

Just dress for the occasion. It's not going to be as freezing as you think.

peano
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Posted: 2/23/2013 11:52:46 AM

and 'pink'
no need to copy and paste
i've been here over a decade
and have yet to delete a post
even if they suck


I thought people copy and paste posts so others know what you're responding to. At least that's why I do it.

I'd much rather pile on clothes and sit in an unheated church than be limited to the amount of clothing I can decently remove in an un-airconditioned one.


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Mewcat
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Posted: 2/23/2013 12:03:20 PM
Dress warm. I went to my cousin's outdoor wedding last April by a lake. It rained. They shortened the ceremony and yes it sucked, that we got wet but I cared about my cousin and my family enough to deal with it.


~*Melissa*~

CeeScraps
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Posted: 2/23/2013 12:03:23 PM
My sister got married in November NW of Chicago. Our dresses had short sleeves. It snowed.....no heat in the church. Everyone was miserable.....EVERYONE. Dress warm as with her wedding the temperature did not affect the length of the service.

Now, to help her remember how cold the church was.....in all of the photos her nose is red and some of the rest of the wedding party had red noses!

Yes, it was that cold!

DRESS WARM!


Ginger

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pennyring
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Posted: 2/23/2013 12:11:03 PM
Weddings are a one-time deal. If you love them, you gotta go. It's just momentary discomfort.

I don't blame you for complaining though. I'd totally bitch about it.




Julee
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Posted: 2/23/2013 12:16:46 PM

or maybe a snuggie!

Just accessorize with a belt and you'll be good.


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KikiNichole

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Posted: 2/23/2013 12:21:22 PM
I'm with ya, Gina.

I went to a wedding (well, I was IN a wedding) in August, in Missouri, in a church with no air conditioning.

It was the most horribly uncomfortable hour of my life. Okay, not really...I mean, there was childbirth, but other than that...seriously, UNCOMFORTABLE.

If I hadn't been in the wedding, I'm not sure I would have gone.


~Kristen~

Burning Feather
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Posted: 2/23/2013 12:56:13 PM
DH's niece (who isn't the sharpest anyway) planned a mid April wedding in Northern Minnesota. Outdoors. With barefoot bride and bridesmaids.

And then the reception was held in an unheated school gymnasium.

Seriously - I feel your pain.



Carla




ginacivey
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Posted: 2/23/2013 1:09:38 PM
well hell...cindy was probably there in a sundress!

you know how those minnesota gals can handle the cold...

KateMarie
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Posted: 2/23/2013 1:13:52 PM
Haha..I love this thread. I'm with ya Gina!

I was the maid of honor at my sisters wedding in sweltering heat, I have been to funerals in the freezing cold. There are some things you just have to do for people you care about/that care about you.

Go..bundle up..have fun!


~Kate~








**cindyupnorth**
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Posted: 2/23/2013 2:19:06 PM
Hell no..but I DO know some people that would! Ha. No lie.
And realllllllllllly Gina..this thread is ALL about you! so no more about us northern MN people..which would also include offending BF's dh. HA






batya
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Posted: 2/23/2013 2:21:15 PM
Gina. I think you responded with class.


OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.




AKathy
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Posted: 2/23/2013 2:32:30 PM
It'd be a deal breaker for me. I hate being cold and once I'm cold, I stay cold and miserable. I'd take a nice gift and go to the reception and if anyone asked me why I wasn't at the wedding, I'd tell them.


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Lisa818181
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Posted: 2/23/2013 2:47:32 PM
I get it. I recently attended my cousin's wedding in Maine--3 days before Christmas--on a FRIDAY. It was 4-5 hours away for most of his family and 1-2 hours away for much of hers. I had to take a day off of work to drive 4 hours in the snow and would be driving 2 hours the other direction to my parents' house 2 days later and this left everyone with less time for Christmas preparations. BUT, he's my cousin who I grew up with and I sucked it up and went. I bitched to my co-workers and friends who don't know him at all and then I put a smile on my face and went because it's what he wanted and I wanted to show him that I cared and that I was happy for him.

Bring some hand warmers and bundle up. Everyone's body heat will likely warm the place up pretty well.



It's your life, you can decorate it as you like

TravelAgent
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Posted: 2/23/2013 3:01:50 PM
I'm a weather wuss. I own that.

The person getting married would have to be immediate family (and I am excluding aunts, uncles and first cousins from that list) to make me sit in an unheated church in winter. And then I'd be there reluctantly.

On the other hand, my "I'm freezing if it's colder than 80 degrees" trait is well known, and I doubt anyone would INVITE me to a wedding in an unheated church in February.

So you wouldn't catch any flak from me if you skipped.

Julie


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