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justusscrapper
PeaAddict
PeaNut 192,894
February 2005
Posts: 1,853
Layouts: 27
Loc: Minnesota
 |  Posted: 3/1/2013 8:15:59 AM
I've been pretty sick and tired lately, not online at all or doing much besides resting and sleeping.
I was supposed to be released from the hospital on Tuesday afternoon, but my nurse noticed my pulse was high and my oxygen levels low. I was also having lots of other random complaints like double vision, lightheadness, etc. Tuesday, we unpack our stuff and settle back in for more tests.
Wednesday, more tests, tests and tests.
Thursday morning I woke up and knew something wasn't right... I called my huband and asked if he could work from the hospital that day because something was just off. Sometimes he has meetings and sometimes it does work for him to ttelecommute. Luckily, he showed up 1pm because at 2pm my oncologolists came to tell us there is leukemia cells everywhere. Even without doing a biopsy, he can see the same leukemia as when I was originally diagnosed. This round of chemo didn't work and there is basically nothing further they can do for us. Yesterday was a whirlwind of appts with heart drs (my heart has 25% heart damaage) hospice/pallative care, getting oxygen set up at home. One scary part is I'm at 40% heart function and it's not repairable. The dr isn't sure how long we have but we heard lots of "quality of life" statements yesterday.
I'm actually pretty ok with things now. I'm in a super planning mode and maybe it's not hit me yet. I'm extremely worried about my husband and how he's going to hold up our little family & running his business. God and I have had lots of quality time to discuss all this these last 5 weeks in the hospital, so I think we are all square.
Just wanted to update the peas and say thank you, I see somehow you've found my caring bridge site. I like to keep my online stuff totally separate from my real life stuff, but I guess that's getting more and more difficult to do.
PS: For those that asked: my name is BARB
** Thank You Peas for your outpouring of support! Can I make one tiny request - as I mentioned, I try to keep my online stuff & my IRL independant.... Could you leave your lovely encouraging posts here at 2 peas rather than on the caring bridge site? Lots of people are asking me about peas and my mom just doesn't understand. I hesitated posting the caring bridge post in the first place, but the super sleuths found it. I also hesitated to make this request - I don't want to be bitchy, but I just have always come here to vent and some family members would easily get worked up over things that didn't even apply to them. We have not told anyone other than immediate family and I really need this place to work it out before I go public with our extended family and friends. Thank You
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Sarah*H
Bring me that horizon!
PeaNut 239,162
December 2005
Posts: 27,910
Layouts: 413
Loc: The final frontier
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:18:29 AM
Barb, your post made me cry. You have a beautiful soul. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. {{{Hugs}}} |
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AngelKriC
It's football time in TENNESSEE!
PeaNut 215,522
July 2005
Posts: 19,293
Layouts: 34
Loc: Big Orange Country!
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:19:42 AM
 I'm so sorry that the news is not good. Your family will be in my thoughts. You are so strong and brave and I admire that in you. (((Hugs))) to you. We are here if you need us. |
Krissy
"My husband said it was the scrapbooking or him, so I took some pictures of him packing and made the cutest pages ever!"
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Essay
PeaNut
PeaNut 486,293
October 2010
Posts: 52
Layouts: 0
Loc: GA
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:20:38 AM
It made me cry as well. Praying for you and your family. |
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*2GirlsMama*
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 50,618
September 2002
Posts: 5,202
Layouts: 49
Loc: nwLA
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:22:26 AM
I'm so sad to read this.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I don't say that lightly -- I truly will be praying for y'all.
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Lisa
We have often asserted and we affirm it yet again that no fact in history is better attested than the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. It must not be denied by any who are willing to pay the slightest respect to the testimony of their fellow men. That Jesus, who died upon the cross, and was buried in the tomb of Joseph of Arimathea, did literally rise again from the dead. (excerpted from Dance Your Shoes Off, Second Baptist Church)
Rachel (13), Sarah Beth (9), and sweet baby Jay (4)
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papersilly
Don't let the dreamkillers get me
PeaNut 109,681
October 2003
Posts: 6,227
Layouts: 112
Loc: so. california
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:22:51 AM
Barb, it made me cry too. My heart goes out to you and your family. My prayers are with you and your family. |
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MagentaPea
PeaAddict
PeaNut 244,947
January 2006
Posts: 1,389
Layouts: 0
Loc: In the Mitten
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:23:05 AM
I am so sorry for all you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Lisa | |
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kayak_mama06
PeaAddict
PeaNut 280,426
October 2006
Posts: 1,658
Layouts: 114
Loc: Almost in Kananaskis country!
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:23:06 AM
This made me cry too. Prayers sent for you and your family. Still praying for a miracle. |
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GoBucks319
I PEA Scarlet and Gray!
PeaNut 262,367
May 2006
Posts: 10,501
Layouts: 8
Loc: Buckeye Nation
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I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!
PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
Posts: 19,578
Layouts: 0
Loc: California, NY & Orlando
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:26:59 AM
Oh Barb, this breaks my heart. It's funny how a much impact a person on the internet can have on your life. Someone you've never met and never will meet, but has become someone you spend a lot of time thinking about, praying for, waiting anxiously for the next update, crossing your fingers for good new, being devastated when it's not...that's what you have become in a lot of our lives.
I read this update and burst into tears. I so wanted it to be different. If I'm this upset by the latest news, I can't even imagine what your family is going through. My heart breaks for them. I'm going to hug my kids now. I still think you have the most amazing attitude, I can't tell you how much I admire that....you and your pouty pants | |
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cropduster
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 250,388
February 2006
Posts: 5,660
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:27:04 AM
I have no words. Except that I have been and will continue to hold you and your family up in prayer. How you have fought this disease with grace and strength has been such an inspiration to me and all the other Peas on this board. (((Hugs))) |
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utmr
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 271,408
August 2006
Posts: 2,470
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:27:31 AM
Barb I'm so sorry to hear that. Peace and strength to you and your family. | |
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Mimima
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
PeaNut 41,779
July 2002
Posts: 32,592
Layouts: 58
Loc: The Left Coast
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:27:49 AM
Oh Barb, I am so, so, so very sorry. My love and prayers surround you. |
~Mimi
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." - Louisa May Alcott | |
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Alibama
PeaAddict
PeaNut 378,960
June 2008
Posts: 1,163
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:28:02 AM
Barb,
Trying to post through the tears in my eyes. I am so so sorry to hear this news. Please know you and your family are in my prayers.
Ali |
| http://swagbucks.com/refer/Alibama | |
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busypea
boring + nerdy
PeaNut 52,817
October 2002
Posts: 25,217
Layouts: 145
Loc: Oregon
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:29:26 AM
Barb,
I am so sorry your update is not good. You and your family are in my thoughts. Hugs to you. | |
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Burning Feather
I conceived but I can't see you
PeaNut 158,336
July 2004
Posts: 36,205
Layouts: 3
Loc: Ain't no black widow serial killer going to get between me and my man
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karmatir
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 262,248
May 2006
Posts: 2,144
Layouts: 17
Loc: Omaha, Nebraska
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:34:12 AM
I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't say more than what has been said. Definitely in my thoughts and prayers. |
~Missy
Pieces of {my} Earth
(my fashion/style, sometimes off-topic, usually random, always geeky blog)
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~Sheri~
Waiting to go home.
PeaNut 144,253
April 2004
Posts: 7,618
Layouts: 36
Loc: Michiganian living in NoVA
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:34:26 AM
You are an amazingly strong woman, Barb. I'm so sorry that your news is not good. Continued prayers for you and your family. |
*****************
~Sheri~
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notcomputersavvy
Sarcastic PEAotch
PeaNut 114,235
November 2003
Posts: 10,977
Layouts: 0
Loc: Ohio
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:35:21 AM
I'm terrible at coming up with the right words. I hope that you can be kept comfortable to enjoy the time with your beloved family. I'm so sorry to hear this news. |
Jenny
sahm to my adorable girls Hannah (16), Brooke(12)
and my sweet boys Drew (6) Joey ( 1)
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jjpswife
PeaFixture
PeaNut 55,741
November 2002
Posts: 3,951
Layouts: 51
Loc: Out here in the middle...
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:36:42 AM
I am so terribly sorry, Barb. I don't know what else to say...except...what an amazing example you are of strength, courage and being able to find and exude peace in the scariest of times. My heart is with you. You and your husband and your children and all the many who must love you so. My heart is with you. |
Kathy
"Open up my head and let me out...little baby."
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PepPea
PeaAddict
PeaNut 484,512
October 2010
Posts: 1,777
Layouts: 48
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:38:13 AM
May God bless you and your family. My heart aches for your situation. You will be in my prayers. |
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Maya Angelou
You can call me Angela | |
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scrap-tag
BucketHead
PeaNut 97,528
July 2003
Posts: 919
Layouts: 6
Loc: Oregon
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:38:21 AM
Barb - we are another family who continues to pray. There are no other words... | |
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gritzi
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 275,594
September 2006
Posts: 2,983
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:38:35 AM
My prayers are with you & your family. | |
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scrapbookwriter
BucketHead
PeaNut 314,427
May 2007
Posts: 777
Layouts: 0
Loc: Utah
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:39:31 AM
Barb, I am so sorry. I have enormous respect for the way you are dealing with this news and the way you are facing the weeks ahead. I will keep you and your family in my heart and my thoughts and my prayers.
Connie | |
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camanddanismom
Manic Mom of 2
PeaNut 274,243
August 2006
Posts: 9,839
Layouts: 424
Loc: Northeast
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:40:36 AM
I am so sorry about your news and your illness. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. |
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Miss Ang
I'm a Toilet Paper Pea. Are you?
PeaNut 26,443
January 2002
Posts: 11,497
Layouts: 398
Loc: Illinois
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:40:48 AM
I am just so, so sorry. I will keep praying for a miracle! |
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liya
BucketHead
PeaNut 311,281
April 2007
Posts: 562
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:40:59 AM
I am so sorry to hear of your news.
Hugs and love to you and your family. | |
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katybee8
AncestralPea
PeaNut 421,136
April 2009
Posts: 4,947
Layouts: 8
Loc: Chicago NW burbs
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:41:18 AM
My thoughts are with you and your family. I am so sorry you are going through this. | |
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*maureen*
Bad Wolf
PeaNut 191,892
February 2005
Posts: 5,314
Layouts: 0
Loc: Wheaton
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:41:44 AM
Barb, you and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. | |
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itsmemom
PeaNut 44,602
August 2002
Posts: 5,452
Layouts: 7
Loc: Here!
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:42:26 AM
Stay strong. Lots of prayers headed your way! |
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Carolina Girl 71
AncestralPea
PeaNut 217,388
August 2005
Posts: 4,909
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:43:27 AM
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers for comfort, strength and peace. I'm so sorry to hear this news. I am not on your caring bridge but would like to be, if you don't mind. Please pea mail me a link. (((Bar )) |
"I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, and I'm armed! Don't *mess* with me!" Gracie Hart, Miss Congeniality
"NSBR is a place where some horses are never dead enough that they can't be dragged out of the closet for one last beating." Elaine, 6/18/11
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Spongemom Scrappants
HRH pilates teaching wino ball of fun
PeaNut 297,141
February 2007
Posts: 10,628
Layouts: 31
Loc: South Carolina
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:44:44 AM
It's funny how a much impact a person on the internet can have on your life. Someone you've never met and never will meet, but has become someone you spend a lot of time thinking about,
Damn it. I hate this for you and your family. I had so hoped the news would be different. |
Angie
Where the boys are... my new husband, my four sons and my boy cat.
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BelleMagic
PeaFixture
PeaNut 181,929
December 2004
Posts: 3,248
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:44:56 AM
I am sending you lots of prayers and hugs. | |
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deshacrafts
PeaAddict
PeaNut 188,877
February 2005
Posts: 1,524
Layouts: 0
Loc: Rhode Island, USA
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:46:55 AM
I am so sorry to hear your update. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. |
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dottyscrapper
PeaAddict
PeaNut 311,985
April 2007
Posts: 1,082
Layouts: 0
Loc: UK
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:49:14 AM
Oh Barb this is really not the update I was praying and hoping for you.
You're one remarkable woman and my heart breaks for you and your family.
May prayers and faith sustain you and give you and your family the strength to deal with such a difficult time for all of you.
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SillyRabbit
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 104,457
September 2003
Posts: 2,819
Layouts: 12
Loc: Where The Grass Is Blue
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:51:05 AM
I am so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. |
Cindy 
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deputydog
Chicks Dig Giant Robots
PeaNut 79,113
April 2003
Posts: 6,122
Layouts: 0
Loc: Pennsylvania Dutch country
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:51:15 AM
I'm sorry Barb. I've been thinking of you and your family and will continue to do so. Hugs to you all.
Margaret |
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SL3scrap
PeaNut
PeaNut 259,542
April 2006
Posts: 271
Layouts: 0
Loc: Louisiana
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:53:00 AM
I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and your family. |
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ScrapnGranny
PeaFixture
PeaNut 11,212
February 2001
Posts: 3,143
Layouts: 94
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:53:10 AM
Barb, you and your family have my prayers. God Bless you. |
Janet
Granny's Score: Boys 5 ~ Girls 2
And yes, with my background, my opinion is worth more than that of a middle school teacher who can't get her facts straight.~ Batya
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SusanNJ
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 291,659
January 2007
Posts: 2,936
Layouts: 0
Loc: New Jersey
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:53:16 AM
you are an amazing woman! i have been and will continue to pray for you and your fmaily. I am so sad to read this update  | |
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Cake Diva
Cake-a-licous!
PeaNut 90,802
June 2003
Posts: 9,876
Layouts: 35
Loc: Fergus, Ontario
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:53:22 AM
I'm so sad to read this.
Huge hugs to you and your family. |
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Lumo
Carolina dorkburger
PeaNut 233,457
November 2005
Posts: 16,534
Layouts: 38
Loc: An hour west of Blue Heaven
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:53:36 AM
So sorry to read this. I've followed your story, along with so many other peas, and this wasn't the update any of us were hoping for
I wish you and your family peace. You'll be in my thoughts. |
---
Kelly
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pjynx
This space for rent
PeaNut 69,453
February 2003
Posts: 5,067
Layouts: 4
Loc: Wherever my mind wanders
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:55:43 AM
Barb, I'm so sorry that you don't have better news. You and your family are in my prayers ((HUGS))
Pam |
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PeasfulHeart
PeaAddict
PeaNut 228,402
October 2005
Posts: 1,524
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:55:50 AM
Oh Barb, I'm SO sorry for what you and your family are going through. You all have my prayers.
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| Life is mostly froth and bubble, two things stand like stone. Kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own. -Adam Lindsay Gordon | |
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catholicone
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 141,445
April 2004
Posts: 2,778
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:57:44 AM
Barb. Love to you. Please know that your husband will be supported by your family and community. I'm just so sorry. | |
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wasabi pea
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 53,541
October 2002
Posts: 2,710
Layouts: 212
Loc: Phoenix, AZ
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:58:02 AM
Barb, praying for you and your family. Cancer sucks! Hugs going out to you. | |
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luvmythree
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 223,222
September 2005
Posts: 2,710
Layouts: 47
Loc: Kansas
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:58:07 AM
Hugs, praying for a miracle. I know sorry is so overused but I am so very sorry |
Kirsten mom to~
Alexandria 20
Ethan 10
Owen 8 CFC syndrome,cp 29.5 wk preemie
Expecting my first grandbaby May 2013!
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Ms. Liz
Practically Perfect in Every Way
PeaNut 199,404
April 2005
Posts: 6,613
Layouts: 2
Loc: deep in the hundred acre woods
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:58:35 AM
You are in my prayers too.
{{{ h u g s }}}
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I eat my peas with honey. I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny, But it keeps them on the knife.
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~*kristina*~
Typical Liberal Pea
PeaNut 55,230
November 2002
Posts: 17,513
Layouts: 106
Loc: Hawkeye Nation
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:59:11 AM
Barb - I'm am so sorry to hear your news...I, too came to tears reading your post. I'll be thinking of you and family. |
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*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)
PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
Posts: 68,340
Layouts: 236
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:59:36 AM
Your update breaks my heart.
Since it seems your doctors have nothing else to try, have you considered alternative treatments?
I have an idea if something that might help you.
When I get to my computer today in going to send you peamail with the research.
If there is no traditional means to help, maybe something else could.
Still praying for you
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