Decluttering and letting go

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Posted 3/10/2013 by Lovebug2867 in NSBR Board
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Lovebug2867
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Posted: 3/10/2013 10:56:49 AM
We're trying to get a head start on spring cleaning and clean out the extra bedroom that has become storage for all the suff that's waiting for a home to be finished. (we are remodelling our home so for instance all my SB and craft stuff is packed up in this room as my scraproom hasn't been built yet)

Well I find myself thinking I have TOO MUCH STUFF. I have bookcases full of books that I don't read anymore since I got my kindle. But I've been collecting books my whole life. Not to mention all the other stuff I have in there.

How do I get out of the "this may be useful one day" attitude? I keep this up they'll be calling hoarders on me.


Cheri
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BEF2008
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Posted: 3/10/2013 11:03:23 AM
I am very bad for this as well. I recently cleaned out a storage room and it was so liberating!

Every time I found something that I had forgotten I owned, I made a point of throwing it away or giving it away (with a couple of small exceptions). I figured if I had forgotten about it, I didn't actually miss it.

That worked well for me.

A few things that I was on the fence about I took pictures of and then removed them.

It was so much nicer having a useable room that you could walk through than a place that was so stuffed full you couldn't use what you needed anyway. Try to hold on to that feeling when you start to get it!

rosiekat
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Posted: 3/10/2013 11:03:28 AM
It's hard. I mean, so I hear.

If I look at something I've been hanging on to "just in case," and I realize that I had it when I moved into this house, lol, I pitch it. You get the idea - if the "just in case" time hasn't come within the last couple of years (negotiable depending on what type of thing it is and if there's a good reason), then out it goes.

I figure that takes care of a darn good chunk of stuff right there. Then I'll work on being stricter with my standards. I mean, in recommending stricter standards.


Jen


empteenest3
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 3/10/2013 11:12:30 AM
Oh I have that problem too with the scrapbook, craft stuff I find it easier to purge if I have someone I can give it to that I know wants it.
My DH is even worse! Which really makes it hard to clean and declutter. I can clean my stuff out but if he never does the house is still a mess.
I don't even bring home the majority of the catalogs he gets in the mail any more because he can not seem to throw them away. And God forbid I throw them out because 5 minutes after I do he seems to be looking for them.

Burning Feather
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Posted: 3/10/2013 11:16:14 AM
I try to think of things in terms of the cost of storage. You have limited square footage in your home. "Stuff" takes up some of that square footage. Would you pay that amount to store it somewhere else "just in case?" If not, then why are you using the valuable square footage in your home to store it?

A good example is that a friend of ours was a contractor for running cable lines all across the country so he had his "stuff" in a storage unit. For ten years. When he was injured and no longer able to do that type of work, he cleared out his storage unit. He found that he really only wanted a few things and the rest was basically trash or stuff that he had moved on from sentimentally. Those few things he stored at our house (because we did have the room and he was still in sort of a transition period). We stored them for him for about 3 years until we were ready to move and then told him that he had to either come get them or we could sell them for him at our moving sale. He didn't end up wanting a single thing.

He spent 10 years of storage cost to store stuff that, in the end, he didn't want or need at all. Even at $50-$100 a month (and I think most storage units are more than that), he spent $6,000-$12,000 storing stuff he didn't want.



Carla




Twins Rock
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Posted: 3/10/2013 11:17:05 AM
If you think and can admit you have too much stuff, then you probably do.

I've talked about this topic before on another thread, in respect of my mom.

I love her dearly, but her house drives me crazy. She has been divorced a long time and though there are many reasons why she has as much stuff as she does, at this point (actually, for a long time) it has overtaken her life.

With 4 young kids myself, DH and I differ slightly on this topic. He grew up in a beyond-immaculate home and I grew up in a normal home for a long time, until my mom began the spiral of where her house full of stuff is now.

I don't want to live in a house that is so sparse it is not comfortable with things you treasure, make you and your family happy. Yet, when you know it is too much, then it probably is.

My mom uses the "it will be useful one day" notion to justify all of the stuff she has in her house. I try to believe in frugality and make attempts not to waste, but for a long time now, I've prevented bringing too much new stuff in.

Going through your home and coming to the realization that, although you might find a use for something, but you've run out of places to put it is hard. I am sentimental and find it incredibly difficult to part with some of the kids' things. But, I've taken many photos over the years of them playing with the "stuff" and the time has come to and end where they found enjoyment in many things. Getting rid of them clears your mind. The hardest part is really the point between admission and just taking it and saying goodbye. Be it a garage sale, consignment shop, donation, or passing along to someone else, the things, no matter what they are spent their time in your life and you enjoyed them.

I used to collect cookbooks. Had an obnoxious number of them. I scanned a few favorites and donated every one but a handful. I don't miss them. Every recipe I could ever need is online.

Trust me, the feeling of freedom after the clutter is gone, even in small pieces, is worth it!



pennyring
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Posted: 3/10/2013 11:47:02 AM
I've given away carloads of stuff and don't want any of it back. Does that help?

We cleaned out our house about 3 years ago and LITERALLY took 9 carloads (full from floor to roof) of stuff to Value Village and Goodwill. 9 carloads. I don't miss, or need, any of that stuff.

A couple of times, DH and I have been like, "Oh... I wish we had X..." but then we're like, "Where would we PUT IT???" Obviously, we really didn't need it!

I've given away more than 1/2 my scrapbook stuff and haven't needed/wanted any of it. Not once. I should probably get rid of the rest!



WingNut
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Posted: 3/10/2013 12:01:49 PM
It takes practice, which is something I've been working on for about a year. I'm getting pretty brutal about it too. I'm so tired of moving "stuff" around only to have it looking like a mess around here 85% of the time. I can't keep up with it and I don't want to even try anymore. I have quite a ways to go but I'm taking small bites at a time. As I go, I reward myself with things like small furniture additions (after several furniture deletions!) that allow for a more effective flow in each room.

Our first step was in the living room. We had an old love seat that had become the "dog's couch". It was pretty nasty and I finally said it had to go. Just the removal of that one piece of furniture opened up the space so much that it is so much more comfortable in there. I'm able to keep things picked up much easier. I think part of it *is* psychological but that's okay with me, whatever it takes!



Joy


Mom2Tom
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Posted: 3/10/2013 12:14:04 PM
For me it was mostly scrapbook stuff. I finally realized that I couldn't enjoy the stuff I wanted to use, because there were just too much stuff. That's all it was, stuff. So I purged Scrapbook suppliesand even some household goods, and used the money for paying off my car. It felt good to be free of stuff and a car payment. I haven't regretted it at all.


Heather

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Posted: 3/10/2013 12:50:57 PM
I try to move clothing and household items out several times a year, but must admit I sometimes just scratch the surface...for instance I never get around to going in every kitchen cabinet...I know I have some tupperware, plastic cups etc that just need to go...same can be said for linen closet, which is overflowing and for some of my holiday decor.






TinCin
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Posted: 3/10/2013 12:53:16 PM
I just did a ton of decluttering this past summer. Multiple trips to the Goodwill and it was awesome. Yes, some things were more difficult to decide but I started with the easy stuff first and it got easier as I went. The space is so nice, it is great to be able to put things where they belong and lay my hands on them when I need them, not spending extra time looking for them, sweet.


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Lovebug2867
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Posted: 3/10/2013 1:09:41 PM
I did declutter my kitchen recently well mostly my Tupperware. I found that when i was a consultant I had to have everything Tupperware. Now that I'm not I've realized I much prefer my glass pyrex storage containers. I gave away 2 55 gallon trash bags of tupperware last fall. Guess I need to just bite the bullet when it comes to my collections.


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Layce
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Posted: 3/10/2013 2:55:54 PM
Something I saw recently that I may try once a month until we are clutter-free:

Pack what you need for an extended vacation. Remove everything else from your closet, counters, drawers and put into storage. Unpack into your "hotel" room...ie bedroom. After a month or so go thru the stuff you lived without and donate/sell!

Some of my FB friends are doing this now and I'm waiting so see how it goes

zombie*grrl
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Posted: 3/10/2013 3:00:09 PM
It can be so hard to do but it's so freeing. I spent weeks purging 20+ years worth of stuff out of this house as we prepare to sell it. Bags and bags and bags of things off to the Goodwill or thrown out.

I LOVE it. My litmus test was: Do I want to move this halfway across the country?
If the answer is yes, into a box it goes. If no, off to charity or set by the curb or in the trash.

scrapcreator
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Posted: 3/10/2013 3:16:51 PM
It helps me to focus on one type of "stuff" to clear out at a time. I wanted new towels for our master bathroom but I had a linen closet full of towels - most of them 20 years old. The old towels went out along with some other old, unused things in the linen closet. Now I have fewer but newer (and softer and fluffier) towels.

I've done the same with the clothes closet and my tupperware/plastics shelf.

Good luck! I'm going to have to tackle my scrapbook stuff in the garage sometime soon.

Jeanne



Princess Pea
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Posted: 3/10/2013 4:13:11 PM
How do I get out of the "this may be useful one day" attitude? I keep this up they'll be calling hoarders on me. [ / quote]

I wish I knew. I feel like I do ok with declutering, but I could do so much better.


Melissa

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Princess Pea
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Posted: 3/10/2013 4:13:12 PM
How do I get out of the "this may be useful one day" attitude? I keep this up they'll be calling hoarders on me. [ / quote]

I wish I knew. I feel like I do ok with declutering, but I could do so much better.


Melissa

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doesitmatter?
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Posted: 3/10/2013 4:17:31 PM
I've been spring cleaning the last few days too! Feels great to get rid of what we aren't using- especially all of the kids and teens clothes I am donating that someone else might need.


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Janice_in_TX
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Posted: 3/10/2013 4:18:02 PM
You may think I am joking, but I really got into decluttering after watching a few episodes of Hoarders. It wasn't just that I didn't want my house to look like theirs, I don't think I would ever have gotten anywhere near that point. But I could really see how dysfunctional it can be to be so attached to stuff. I would watch people on the show becoming distraught over having to get rid of stuff and being really unreasonable. I am serious it made me rethink my entire attitude toward my stuff.



katieanne
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Posted: 3/10/2013 5:17:00 PM
For me it was a combination of reading this essay and watching this video that shifted my mind set. I knew what I wanted but was fighting myself. Once I got my head and my heart on the same page it was so much easier.

Now it's just a matter of sticking with it and making the time to take the stuff out of the house.

Hoping those links work- if not it's the Just in case essay at theminimalists.com and George Carlin talking about Stuff on YouTube.

AussieMeg
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Posted: 3/10/2013 5:21:41 PM

I have bookcases full of books that I don't read anymore since I got my kindle. But I've been collecting books my whole life. Not to mention all the other stuff I have in there.


This was me. I never borrowed books, I always bought my own because I LOVED my book collection. I found it very hard to get rid of them. I started out small and got rid of the books that I knew I would never read again. Then a few months later I got rid of another big chunk of books. Then another. And so on. I packed away my books in boxes in the roof. After a year or so I took them out and was able to get rid of even more. The only books I have kept are those from my very favorite authors. We don't even have a bookshelf in the house any more. So much more room!!!

CADoodlebug
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Posted: 3/10/2013 5:26:36 PM
I should probably start a new thread but will go with
this one.

What about this dilemma: Things you were given by or
inherited from beloved family members who are deceased.


DH and I have so much stuff from his dad and my mom,
dad and sister that we cannot use and at some point
won't have the room to store or move. Seven sets of
golf clubs from his dad. I have most things
in boxes and while some of it has value, I feel terrible
thinking about donating it. But DH and I were talking and
if both of us died in a car accident, I can't imagine DS
trying to deal with it.

How has anyone dealt with this?


Joy

"I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me!"



Lovebug2867
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Posted: 3/10/2013 5:42:14 PM

What about this dilemma: Things you were given by or
inherited from beloved family members who are deceased.


DH and I have so much stuff from his dad and my mom,
dad and sister that we cannot use and at some point
won't have the room to store or move. Seven sets of
golf clubs from his dad. I have most things
in boxes and while some of it has value, I feel terrible
thinking about donating it. But DH and I were talking and
if both of us died in a car accident, I can't imagine DS
trying to deal with it.

How has anyone dealt with this?


I haven't had to deal with this but I would think your loved ones wouldn't want to bog you down with their stuff. Maybe keep items that are special to you and that you will use and before donating see if any family needs the other items or sell them and go on a vacation or buy something you need.


Cheri
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jodcold
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Posted: 3/10/2013 5:43:47 PM
I am in the process of getting rid of clutter too. Have been working on it since January and boy does it feel great!

I am a book lover too and probably had 500 that I haven't read yet. My sister and I swap books, so some were her favorites more than mine. I went through each and every book and was able to donate over 250 to the local library for the sale. I don't miss them at all and I am trying to read as many as I can so they can go too. I have a kindle and will probably not be bringing many books into the house again.

I donated at least 15 bags of clothes to Goodwill. Guess what if I can or lose weight, I will just buy more. I tend to wear the same items over and over anyway.

Some things I didn't want anymore but were too good to give away I took to the local auction house and made a few bucks.

My house still has lots more to go through, but I am happier doing it now (we've lived here 30 years, so there is a lot of stuff!).

Once you start you will be so happy.

Also, if you have inherited stuff; maybe keep your most favorite sentimental piece from each person, then donate or sell the rest. Take photos of the items to remember them.

I hope my son doesn't think he has to keep my things (he'd need 2 houses if he thought that). I am a bit anxious as to what my husband will do when his dad passes away, as his Dad's house is packed full and we have no room for anymore and can't keep 2 houses. Wish me luck!

gale w
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Posted: 3/10/2013 5:47:57 PM
We're going through this now. It's hard to let things go but I'm determined this time. If I haven't seen it in months, I am pretty sure I won't ever miss it. In fact, I have been finding things I didn't even remember I had, and then have a hard time getting rid of it. No more. If I find something that I forgot I owned, it's gone.

At least that's the idea. Whether it happens is another story.


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Janice_in_TX
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Posted: 3/10/2013 7:07:21 PM

What about this dilemma: Things you were given by or
inherited from beloved family members who are deceased.


Both of my parents died fairly young, and I have a lot of their belongings. I have slowly pared things down over the years. It has been 20 years since my mother died. For 10 years I saved almost all her clothes. I gradually started getting rid of things, and at some point I realized I was never ever going to actually wear ANY of it, and donated the rest. It gave me a lot of room for my own clothes that I actually wear!

I still have lots of her things. I have her crystal and china, her piano, some of her furniture, and other things that really remind me of her. I realized I don't need every single thing she ever had in order to remember and miss her. But it took me a while to get to that point. It was a very gradual process.



mirabelleswalker
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Posted: 3/10/2013 7:11:19 PM
I ask myself, "If I were moving would I move this?" If the answer is no, it goes.



Annabella
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Posted: 3/10/2013 7:13:20 PM
Lately I've been going to clothing swap parties with my friends and every time it forces me to go through my closet, try everything on, and pick out what I know I haven't worn in a long time and probably never will again.




Nicole in TX
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Posted: 3/10/2013 7:51:21 PM
My sister is a professional organizer. Here are some of her 'rules.'

"Just because it belonged to someone old, dead, or related, does not give it value. " (That's the number one things that trips people up)

"After the return time frame is over, the box it came in goes." (People will try to say 'but it has a warranty!' but the box is not needed to take advantage of the warranty. Also people will claim the will need it for when they move, but most people never rebox it for a move)

"If you haven't unboxed it since the last time you moved, it is not important or necessary anymore to you."

"If someone offered you money for it, would you take it?" (This is a good one for those who are so sure that they can't live without something, but when they realized they would exchange it for money it helps them see it's not really that sentimental to them).

"Keep a box for Goodwill. When you see something you no longer need, put it in the box. When the box gets full, put it in your car and drop it off immediately."

"If you haven't used it in a year, out it goes."

"If you are saving something for somebody, give it to them."

"If it needs to be repaired, get it repaired ASAP or throw it away."

"Don't hold onto things because you might need them someday. If you really need an item, you can go out and buy a replacement. Spending a bit of money is better than saving a room full of junk."



texgirl842
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Posted: 3/10/2013 7:53:52 PM

DH and I have so much stuff from his dad and my mom,
dad and sister that we cannot use and at some point
won't have the room to store or move. Seven sets of
golf clubs from his dad. I have most things
in boxes and while some of it has value, I feel terrible
thinking about donating it. But DH and I were talking and
if both of us died in a car accident, I can't imagine DS
trying to deal with it.


My mother and I were just talking about this. When my grandmother died (her mom) we wanted to keep everything. We did keep a lot of things and now some of them do not seem special anymore. I think we were trying to hold on to her and thought her collections (bells, thimbles, etc) would keep her close. There was a box of bells we passed around and each person could keep want they wanted. I was the last one to have it. I did donate it, but I cried and cried. It was so hard, but glad I did it. Now when I look at the stuff around my house, I think "If I could donate those bells, I can donate this stuff".

I have held on to a lot of things that were gifts from family members. However, they have all been told that we are cleaning out the clutter. If something they gave us is no longer in our house, that does not mean we did not appreciate the gift, it just means we are only keeping the meaningful things.


Joy







ladygarter1574
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Posted: 3/10/2013 7:54:06 PM
Repeat after me: They'll make more....

The thing to remember is if you haven't needed it in a year or more, you don't need it often enough to store it. You can get another one or rent one or borrow one for when you actually do need it.

The Pea who said you're paying to store stuff is right. You have to pay rent or mortgage on your home filled with stuff. Why pay for square footage to store something you don't use or don't adore when you use that same valuable space for something you use often or love? One detracts from your $ worth, the other enchances it.

The other thing is as you declutter you tend to reorganize. Be sure you arrange things in the way your brain works. If you always look for paperwork like "X bill from dec" vs. "Dec. bill for X" then file your paperwork by bill type instead of in calendar order otherwise you won't keep up on the filing and create more clutter again.

Regarding stuff from gone loved ones? It's hard. But keep one set of golf clubs or even just one club and donate the rest to a senior home or school in memory of the golfer. As another Pea said - keep one or two dearest tokens or one you will use often and remember the loved one.

Lastly, don't let yourself become overwhelmed with the task. Set up managable blocks of time to do the job whether it's one whole day once a month or 15 minutes each day or something else that works for you. Keep at it because bite by bite even an elephant will disappear.

Christina

PhotoHorse
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Posted: 3/10/2013 7:55:04 PM
I'm in the middle of a scrap quilt right now because I need to address this very issue. I have four tubs of material. By the time I finish this quilt, I'll have gone through all the tubs and tossed the extra material I'll never use.

This spring I've gone through four of five drawers and tossed a lot of stuff. So far I've kept those drawers clutter free and hope I can continue that.

I'm also working on my tall pantry where I keep canned goods and baking supplies. My goal is to use the bottom shelf for awkward pans that don't fit in the drawers very well. I try to cook a lot of meals from what I already have, and I'm working on a pantry list I can keep with me so I'm not overbuying.

I really feel a certain zen-ness when our house is less cluttered. I've found that the whole project is overwhelming, but a drawer or two or space or two here and there isn't too hard to take on. Now if I can just find to deliver all the 'give away' stuff that I want to get rid of!

Scrappin Bunny
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Posted: 3/10/2013 8:07:45 PM
When we moved halfway across the country I took so much to Goodwill. I had tons and tons of books and donated them to the local library. I just had to decide if I wanted to move it and usually the answer was no. I've found putting things aside for a time makes it easier. What I do is have a box or bag marked for donations and just put things in there. When it's been sitting around for a while or gets full I actually have my dad,who lives in town, take it to a local charity for me. That way there is no last minute second guessing on my part. It really helps to start seeing how much lighter you feel with space to move around. The fist batch of stuff to go is the hardest.

peano
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Posted: 3/10/2013 9:16:52 PM
I'm currently in the process of decluttering the upstairs rooms and I hear you. I just found this essay on Houzz from a woman who lost everything when her house was torched by an arsonist and it spoke to me.

I don't have trouble getting rid of anything but scrapbooking/craft supplies and I've realized that having too much stuff is actually keeping me from being creative. I just feel overwhelmed, not inspired.

I just finished cleaning out and reorganizing my bathroom drawers and my next project is redoing the master closet, which will help with the bedroom.


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AussieMeg
How about you, Lash LaRue?

PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
Posts: 7,844
Layouts: 16
Loc: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: 3/10/2013 9:23:20 PM
Nicole, those are great 'rules' !!

gale w
shiny farmwife

PeaNut 40,275
June 2002
Posts: 23,848
Layouts: 52
Loc: Indiana

Posted: 3/10/2013 9:47:57 PM

"After the return time frame is over, the box it came in goes." (People will try to say 'but it has a warranty!' but the box is not needed to take advantage of the warranty. Also people will claim the will need it for when they move, but most people never rebox it for a move)
I actually did have an item where the box came in handy to mail it for warranty purposes. I had a dvd recorder that I had problems with. I used the original box to mail it to be fixed (it was a lot easier to pack securely in the original box) and also used the same box when I mailed it to squaretrade after it still didn't work past the mfg warranty. I could have used a generic box though, I guess. But don't know if it would have been as well packed.

Another thing that I have problems with is if I have an item, especially if it's one that's popular, and I haven't yet found all of the pieces. And then I start thinking I should wait until I have all of the pieces before I get rid of it.


Wash: "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything."
Jayne: "Damn straight."

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h*pea*ing
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 231,164
November 2005
Posts: 5,403
Layouts: 8
Loc: Midwest

Posted: 3/10/2013 10:51:02 PM
In regards to getting things from people that have passed on I have to applaud my mom for this past weekend.

My grandmother passed away earlier this week and her funeral was this weekend. Since my grandmother had been in a nursing home for the past six years she didn't have a ton of things from there but there was a lot of things that had been packed up from when she had left her house.

My mom took everything that had been boxed up and laid it out on several tables. Her and her brothers got first choice off the tables, then the grandkids and finally the great-grandkids. Whatever was left over after that was up for grabs for whoever wanted it. Whatever was left at the end of the night is going to be donated. Everyone got something they liked and were able to pick out themselves. I'm not sure if that would work if you had a whole houseful of stuff though. I picked out a couple of pieces of her crystal that I liked and know that I would use on special occasions. I didn't end up with a load of junk that didn't mean anything to me.

When my other grandmother passed away my aunts packed up boxes of stuff for everyone that were essentially full of crap. I kept two things from all that stuff and donated or tossed the rest.

I live in fear of my parents house when they're gone. My mom has so much "stuff" and that is going to be harder to separate myself from. There is only my brother and I to deal with everything and my brother isn't going to care about 90% of it so it will all fall to me. I've told my mom I want some crystal glasses she has that was given to my great grandmother for her 25 wedding anniversary from her mother. Not sure how my mom ended up with that as that's from my dads side of the family. And the other thing, she just showed me this last weekend, was a piece of carnival glass given to my grandmother (that just passed away) from her mother. There would be several trailer loads of stuff I would like from their house, but I don't have room for it here either. I used to want lot of things I thought were neat and would normally have bought them without a second thought.

Now I make sure what I buy has a purpose and I have an exact spot for it.


~heather~

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benem
I live for the applause applause applause...

PeaNut 526,154
October 2011
Posts: 7,786
Layouts: 0
Loc: Illinois

Posted: 3/11/2013 1:35:02 AM
Move. Seriously.

I packed a lot of stuff away into storage a good 6 years ago and last week I moved all that stuff to my new apartment. Even though I had gone thru the storage numerous times and dumped stuff there was still a lot left.

Anyway now that I've been separated from a lot of it for so long I find it a lot easier to dump things. Some of it looked right in my condo and doesnt look right here. Some of its connected to people Or events I don't really want to remember anymore.

I still have a lot of books though.


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I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!

PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
Posts: 20,385
Layouts: 0
Loc: California, NY & Orlando

Posted: 3/11/2013 2:23:13 AM
Pfffff, it's so much easier to just go buy another house to put all those extra treasures in.

Lovebug2867
Got Pea?

PeaNut 14,403
April 2001
Posts: 6,578
Layouts: 22
Loc: Accident Maryland

Posted: 3/11/2013 2:25:40 AM

Move. Seriously.

lol We did that back in 2005 and most of the boxes I have to go through are still unpacked from that move. (that just made me feel worse). A bunch of it is Tupperware stock from being a former consultant and I am in the process of selling it. What I don't sell I'll pass on to my family to get those HUGE boxes out of my life.

I do have quite a few boxes of stuff I want to keep I just don't have space for it yet. Like I said we are remodeling our home it's slow going as it's a complete remodel replacing everything in the home one room at a time. We're planning on moving these boxes into the attic and clearly mark them so when that appropriate room is finished we can easily find what we're looking for. A good example of this is my box of Ducky bathroom accessories. We're working on the master bathroom now when it's finished I'm going to want those to decorate. They aren't things I can easily buy again.

The books on the other hand all the romance books are going. Not quite sure what I'll do with them, Goodwill won't take them neither will the Library. I guess I'll try to freecycle them.

The craft supplies I'm not looking forward to going through because I am a real collector of my hobbies lol.


Cheri
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lesserknownpea
BucketHead

PeaNut 451,429
January 2010
Posts: 616
Layouts: 0

Posted: 3/11/2013 3:44:01 AM
I recently moved from a giant farmhouse to a small room in my son's house.

I have what is essential here. About every week or so I go through and weed out more of the stuff here, so I can move a little more of the things from my old house in here with me. It's an ongoing process for me, as I find I only have the emotional energy to let go of so many possessions in one sitting. Many of them were my mother's, who died over 20 years ago. I have many books, and deciding which ones to keep and which to let go of is a painstaking task for me. I also have hobby supplies, and I feel those hobbies will be a source of pleasure and satisfaction in my new life as a single woman. But I do need to pare down to make things fit.

There will be a big estate sale before my old house goes. I think making a bit of money from the furniture and such will help. Not sure if I will want to be there, family and friends have offered to do the sale for me, I may just stay away.

The fact that my son and DIL keep a rather sparse house is a huge motivation for me not to be the packrat in their nice uncluttered house.

There are some great tips on this thread.

Nicole in TX
The Peas did what we do and went insane over it

PeaNut 16,696
June 2001
Posts: 19,213
Layouts: 65
Loc: Not so obvious

Posted: 3/11/2013 5:23:16 AM
Glad you found them helpful, Meg.



Carolina Girl 71
Knee deep in the water somewhere

PeaNut 217,388
August 2005
Posts: 5,395
Layouts: 0
Loc: Some Beach, Somewhere

Posted: 3/11/2013 8:19:03 AM

I should probably start a new thread but will go with
this one.

What about this dilemma: Things you were given by or
inherited from beloved family members who are deceased.


DH and I have so much stuff from his dad and my mom,
dad and sister that we cannot use and at some point
won't have the room to store or move. Seven sets of
golf clubs from his dad. I have most things
in boxes and while some of it has value, I feel terrible
thinking about donating it. But DH and I were talking and
if both of us died in a car accident, I can't imagine DS
trying to deal with it.

How has anyone dealt with this?


Take pictures of the things that have sentimental value but you know you will never use. Then donate.


"I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, and I'm armed! Don't *mess* with me!" Gracie Hart, Miss Congeniality

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LisaEDesign
PeaAddict

PeaNut 439,654
September 2009
Posts: 1,583
Layouts: 265
Loc: NC

Posted: 3/11/2013 10:48:31 AM
Helping friends move helped me tremendously. I've lived in the same place 20 years so we've accumulated stuff and I haven't really had to worry about it.

I helped a friend move twice in one year and we moved the same junk both times. I've worked with her and she is an incredibly organized person so it shocked me to see the stuff she was holding on to. The first move she said she just hadn't had time because it came up sudden. The 2nd move of the same old bedding, tons of shoes, old kids clothes, etc she really had no excuse.

After those I started looking at things at my house and asking myself, "If I were moving, would I keep this or toss it?"

Now if I need space or just want rid of the clutter that question helps make the decision.


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not2peased
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 260,865
May 2006
Posts: 13,518
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northeast

Posted: 3/11/2013 11:27:53 AM

What about this dilemma: Things you were given by or
inherited from beloved family members who are deceased.





you ask yourself if that person were still alive would they want you to simply store the things? or would they want you to keep only what has special meaning/purpose?


-Kerry


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

Fireflyy
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 409,118
January 2009
Posts: 2,913
Layouts: 0
Loc: NC

Posted: 3/11/2013 11:30:41 AM
Bless someone else with it. It will not be hard to let it go.

onlysleepn
PeaWee

PeaNut 144,349
April 2004
Posts: 3
Layouts: 2

Posted: 3/11/2013 1:15:44 PM
I wrote down this quote from Julie Fei Fan Balzer and it helps me "It's not the value of the stuff, it's the value of the stuff to YOU."

This helped me realize I don't need to keep everything because it is still "good" or because I paid for it. It made me feel so much lighter to give bags and bags of my books to my young cousins - I never read them and wasn't into that genre anymore. I got rid of so much guilt and made the day of 3 poor college students. And I did the same with my scrap stuff. My friends kids were thrilled with all the stuff I kept not using.
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AncestralPea

PeaNut 196,615
March 2005
Posts: 4,599
Layouts: 2
Loc: in front of my computer - where else would I be?

Posted: 3/11/2013 1:36:19 PM

I just found this essay on Houzz from a woman who lost everything when her house was torched by an arsonist and it spoke to me.



We lost a house to fire almost 6 years ago. We basically lost everything. There are very few things that were in that house that I miss. That event change my thought on things. Things are nice to have, but if they are gone I don't miss them much.





Rhonda

Compwalla
Pastafarian Pea

PeaNut 11,942
March 2001
Posts: 20,489
Layouts: 39
Loc: Midland, TX

Posted: 3/11/2013 1:58:53 PM

What about this dilemma: Things you were given by or
inherited from beloved family members who are deceased.


It's was hard for me even though I am brutal with my own stuff. My grandma passed and she had a lot of scrapbooks and memorabilia from various things. I did keep the scrapbooks which my dad scanned and restored online. He now has the originals.

But I had two moving boxes full of things my grandma had kept from her childrens' funerals and hospital stays. She had three biological children, all of whom died before the age of six. My grandma kept every sympathy card, every funeral card, every card enclosed with funeral flowers, even letters of sympathy from the power company. That stuff was HARD to go through and I held onto the boxes for a lot of years because I couldn't bring myself to throw that stuff away. She had kept it all and cared for it since the 50s. I couldn't throw her babies in the trash. After we moved the boxes four times I talked to my dad about it and asked him what I should do with it all. In the end we decided that there wasn't any reason to keep it. We had all those photographs, all the handwriting journaling in my grandmas scrapbooks about her kids, all their lives documented so well. Al the people who were involved in their lives and deaths were gone. We ended up gathering it all up and burned it and sat around and told stories about my grandma. My dad told stories she had told him about the siblings he never met. We cried. It was a really weird night. But we let it all go and I don't feel guilt about it now.

I did keep some things from her house and her kids. I have my aunt's tiny cowgirl boots out on display. I have a Roy Rogers mug my uncle used as a kid. I have some of my grandmas sewing things which I actually use. I'm still working my way through her stash of rickrack and needles and I use her hem gauges and other tools all the time. The crocheted covers for toilet paper? Goodwill.


Virginia

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. --Susan B. Anthony

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KRC11
PeaAddict

PeaNut 13,004
March 2001
Posts: 1,783
Layouts: 46
Loc: USA

Posted: 3/11/2013 3:59:48 PM
I so need to do this. On the people who have sold stuff they have inherited, can you recommend places or websites? I have a variety of items from our ILs -- some glassware, some art work, etc that may be of some monetary value but in 10+ years since they died, it has been in the box. I'd rather sell it and contribute the money to my kids or do something fun as a family.

And, so what are you doing with your scrapbooks -- those of you who have tons of completed ones? I hate to think of my children being burdened with them. I think I need to tell them it's okay to dispose of them after they pick favorites. I don't want them to feel like they have to keep them - this was fun for me to do them.
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