It's almost WEDDING season --- cost of WEDDING?!?!

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Posted 3/13/2013 by footballchick1 in NSBR Board
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PeaNut 518,010
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Posted: 3/13/2013 7:54:34 PM
So the season has started and my DH and I have been invited to a wedding in May. We have only known the bride's parents for a year (my DH is bride's dad's boss). Anyway, they are throwing what they perceive as a "big wedding" (rougly $12,000.00) but the parents have NO MONEY! Bride is in college and doesn't work, so parents are left with entire bill. I just don't understand why parents put themselves in a financial hardship to fund a wedding that they can't afford.

On another note, back in the day when I got married (1986) my parents paid for EVERYTHING! My DD was in a wedding last year, and we had to pay for her dress and shoes. I think this is SOOOOO tacky, but it seems that this is the norm now.

Any thoughts on bridesmaids having to "pay their way" in be in a wedding.

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PeaNut 479,777
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Posted: 3/13/2013 7:57:42 PM
That's pretty much the norm in my part of the U.S. Occasionally, a bride might pay for the whole outfit or maybe the shoes, but in my experience, that's rare.

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PeaNut 15,108
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Posted: 3/13/2013 7:58:29 PM
My bridesmaid period of life was in the 90s. The weddings were mid-range to upscale. I always bought my own dress and shoes. I don't think that is tacky.

A wedding isn't worth going into debt. Have the wedding you can afford, whatever size and level that might be.


PeaNut 268,368
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Posted: 3/13/2013 8:01:57 PM
Is the wedding $120,000 or $12,000? I agree that it is crazy to go into a huge level of debt for one day.

I got married in 1987. My parents initially gave us $500 (Dad was retired, and they had paid for almost all of my education). They later gave us another $1,000. My in-laws, also retired, paid for a nice rehearsal dinner. We had to have a cash bar, but only charged nominal charges, $1 for beer and $2 for mixed drinks.

My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses and shoes. That was norm at the time in the Northeast.


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PeaNut 174,150
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Posted: 3/13/2013 8:02:58 PM
I have never been in a wedding where I didn't pay for my own dress, shoes. I don't find it tacky at all. And $12K isn't a big wedding either, honestly.


PeaNut 54,671
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Posted: 3/13/2013 8:03:48 PM
I was married in 1985 and was in several weddings around the same time, and the bridesmaids paid for their dresses and shoes. The guys paid for their tuxedos. I think that's the norm, sorry.


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PeaNut 518,010
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Posted: 3/13/2013 8:10:20 PM
Let me clarify, the cost of the wedding is $12,000.00. The MOB keeps talking about how this is such a big wedding cost wise, and I am tired of hearing about it since they can't afford it. FOB just told me last week they needed $6,000.00 by April 1st and they don't have it.

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PeaNut 479,242
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Posted: 3/13/2013 8:17:39 PM
My son is getting married in May. The bridesmaids are buying the own dresses. They will all wear the same color but future DIL is giving them a choice of 3 styles. In fact her sister is wearing one she wore to a different wedding. Hopefully this will give the girls the chance to wear them again. Not sure what the wedding is costing since her mom is doing any alterations and making the cake. Her cousin is DJ so they have been able to cut some costs. Something else they are doing (which must be new) is in lieu of favors for the guests rhey are giving money to charity.


Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 12,875
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Posted: 3/13/2013 9:48:24 PM

Any thoughts on bridesmaids having to "pay their way" in be in a wedding.

I just responded to something similar on the other thread, but I have never heard of a bride paying for her bridal party's dresses except here on 2Peas. I have been in 6 weddings and paid for my own outfit in all of them. I was married in 1988 and that was the time frame when most of my friends were also getting married. Maybe it is a regional thing.

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PeaNut 92,987
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Posted: 3/13/2013 10:09:36 PM
First Wedding 1983 - DH #1 and I paid for most things, my parents' paid for the reception (65 guests), attendants paid for their clothes, I did flowers (literally, I DID the flowers). Total $ 1,600.00.

Sister's Wedding 1988 - I was MOH and paid for my dress, shoes and hair, as did my sister's other bridesmaids and the groomsmen. $ 3,000.00 with 60% paid for by my sister and her husband.

Brother's Wedding 1996 - Again, my own dress, shoes & hair (never found out the $$$, mostly my brother, his wife and her family)

Friend's Wedding 1999 - my own dress, shoes & hair (their total was under $4,000 and they paid themselves)

My Second Wedding, we did it for under $1,200 (including airfare and rooms for our mothers). I paid for my attendant's dress (well I did buy the fabric and make it), shoes and hair (DD) as well as my shoes and a portion of my dress (DH paid as well). Reception was cake and sparkling cider (on base and at the Chapel, could not have alcohol).

It (the wedding and reception) should not be about how much you can spend or how "on the top" you can get. But that is JMHO, yours may vary.

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PeaNut 18,334
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Posted: 3/13/2013 10:19:58 PM
The MOB keeps talking about how this is such a big wedding cost wise, and I am tired of hearing about it since they can't afford it. FOB just told me last week they needed $6,000.00 by April 1st and they don't have it.

Sounds to me like someone is trying to garner a sympathy raise. Maybe you'll feel sorry for them not being able to give their dd the wedding of her dreams and give him a raise. It may be time to set some boundries on not discussing personal financial issues.

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PeaNut 370,270
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Posted: 3/13/2013 10:25:01 PM
It's the norm here for the bridal party to pay for their own stuff. I don't like it though and I find it crazy tacky. I am my best friend's only bridesmaid. So far I'm out $200 for the UGLIEST dress I have ever seen, $40 for shoes and the day of the wedding another $50 for hair/makeup which I was told was not optional. That doesn't even touch what I've spent on her bridal shower and bachelorette party. It's absolutely ridiculous IMO.

If the day should ever come that I have a wedding I'll be buying my girls their dresses and shoes and hair and makeup. No one should have to go into debt because they were asked to be in a wedding.

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PeaNut 52,841
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Posted: 3/13/2013 10:30:20 PM

I just don't understand why parents put themselves in a financial hardship to fund a wedding that they can't afford.

I don't either and sadly, many do go into debt. I used to cringe everytime I would hear a commercial about taking out a home equity loan to pay for a wedding. Of course, it's not my house at risk or my money and I don't really care what others do with their money but I don't like to hear about how broke they are when they make these types of financial decisions.

As others have said, it is very common for the attendants to pay for their own dress and shoes. I am not sure how many weddings I was in but it was a bunch. I got to reuse dresses a couple of times when the wedding was small. One time when I was MOH, brides dad paid for my dress. I was a single mom, student and worked as many hours as I could to pay the bills. Her dad was wealthy but very tight but he was also like a dad to me. He used to tell people I was his 4th daughter. He did not want it to be a financial hardship for me to be MOH so he paid for my dress. Her 2 sisters were her bridesmaids and he made them pay for their own dresses. Yes, I said he was tight. LOL

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PeaNut 65,852
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Posted: 3/13/2013 10:42:59 PM
I thinks it's completely assanine when this happens. Dear parents should just say no.

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PeaNut 182,623
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Posted: 3/13/2013 11:30:52 PM
I've been in numerous weddings as a bridesmaid(matron) and I've ALWAYS paid for my dress and shoes and all the other costs. The only thing I didn't purchase was the jewelry I wore as that was a gift from the Bride.

When I got married in 1999. My parents gave us $2000 to use towards wedding expenses. I paid for my own wedding gown but used that 2K towards the photographer, flowers, cake, pianist and soloists for the wedding. DH paid for the reception.Overall, it cost less than 5K back in 1999. We had 175 guests.

I think it's asinine to go into deep debt to throw a wedding. Chances are 50/50 that the marriage will end in divorce anyhow. Both my brother and sister are divorced. My brother has since remarried. Sister has not. She's said if she ever marries again, she's hopping a plane to Vegas to elope! I told her make sure to let me know so I can go too! lol


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Posted: 3/13/2013 11:38:53 PM

My DD was in a wedding last year, and we had to pay for her dress and shoes. I think this is SOOOOO tacky, but it seems that this is the norm now.

According to etiquette books that is how it should be done. I don't know if tacky is the word, but I agree with you. It can be so incredibly expensive what the brides choose.

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PeaNut 317,501
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Posted: 3/13/2013 11:43:08 PM
When I got married in 2010 I read somewhere that any wedding under $15k was considered a budget wedding. I think it was on some wedding site like the knot so I don't know how accurate that is, but I guess that is how much things seem to cost now a days.
Eta I have been moh twice and my sister paid for our dresses and my friend did not and I was fine with both choices. I didn't have any attendants, but would have paid if I wanted something really elaborate, but then again that is not my style.

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PeaNut 576,169
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Posted: 3/13/2013 11:49:14 PM
It's the norm here for the wedding party to pay for their own clothes, etc., and it has been that way in every wedding I've been in. But I do think it is tacky to pick an ugly/non-wearable or expensive dress and make people pay for it. I will either pay for my bridesmaids' outfits or let them pick whatever they want in a certain color.

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PeaNut 403,496
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Posted: 3/13/2013 11:56:03 PM
My wedding was in October 2012. Our attendants all purchased/rented their dresses and tuxes. Dh's aunt owns a bridal store, so that helped. Dh's sister and his best friend's wife both went to cosmetology school, so they took care of our hair and make-up free of charge. My dad is a retired professional photographer with over 30 years of weddings under his belt, so he was able to get some great shots that we were given as a gift. My mom worked in a flower shop when I was younger, so she did all my flowers and decorations. I guess we were pretty lucky that we just happened to have family and friends that were able to provide us their services either for free or at a greatly discounted price.

Still, it was insane how much we ended up spending! I wanted to elope very, very badly, but my Dh wouldn't even consider it. Luckily, we both had good paying jobs and the ability to foot most of the bill. I kept telling Dh that all the little bills here and there would add up quickly, but he insisted that we marry in a place where all our friends and family could easily travel to, which made eloping out of the question.

After it was all over we added up our total expenses. It was around $15,000 and that was for a fairly small, non-fancy, traditional wedding ceremony and reception. I knew about how much we'd spent, but apparently Dh did not, because after he heard the total, he said we should have eloped. Sigh.


PeaNut 154,643
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Posted: 3/14/2013 12:35:34 AM
I paid for my three bridesmaid's dresses when I was married in 2000. It isn't uncommon for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses here in Australia, but I find it kind of rude to ask someone to pay for a dress in a style and colour you chose, that they will in all likelihood never wear again.

It gets very expensive for a bridesmaid to fork out for a dress and shoes, with all the other things they have to do and pay for they could be up for hundreds and hundreds of dollars. That is a big ask in my book.

$12,000 isn't a big wedding here. That would be fairly inexpensive, but every wedding I have ever been to, except one or two, have been sit down meals. I've probably been to twenty or thirty weddings.


PeaNut 288,379
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Posted: 3/14/2013 2:20:18 AM
Our wedding was in August and it was about $12,000. We got about $7,000 from my Grandma, $3,000 from our savings(well, my husbands savings, I had nothing when we combined), and about $2,000 from my Mom. We invited around 400 people, and 200 RSVP'd yes. We did our wedding as cheaply as it could possibly be done for what it was. We made most of the decorations and got deals on the other stuff. Our one big splurge was an actual photobooth-- a $500 groupon deal. We did a dessert bar for the food: we had some "catered" from a local grocery store, and got many of the desserts at costco. It was great for our country wedding! We served wine from Trader Joes (two buck chuck). Our venue was about $3,000, but that included tables and chairs and it was absolutely gorgeous.

At least 75-100 of the people who RSVP'd YES didn't show up. I'm still a little bit bitter about it to be honest. We had the tables and chairs (it was an outdoor wedding) set up for that many people, and in the pictures it looks so awkward because so many of them were empty. It also felt like a slap in the face because that was SO. MUCH. FOOD. that we paid for! We didn't even use half.

I absolutely had my bridesmaids pay for their dresses, that is the norm around here. Granted, my dresses were $30 and from Kohls, and they could wear any shoes in a certain color that they wanted. I don't think I could make someone pay $100+ for a dress they will never wear again.

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PeaNut 336,381
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Posted: 3/14/2013 2:45:20 AM
My brother married into some serious money, he got married in 2008 and her parents paid for the entire wedding. It was over $150,000. yes, that is $150,000 not $15,000.

It was absolutely the biggest waste of money I have ever seen. Now her parents did pay for all wedding attendants dresses, etc. She myself and 2 others on the girl side of the bridal party. Her parents know Vera Wang and she specially designed her wedding dress just for her, just to give you an idea of how lavish it was. They had 300 people there I think.


PeaNut 222,672
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Posted: 3/14/2013 2:49:42 AM
Well here in Scotland (where the stereotype is we're all really mean) I have never heard of bridesmaids having to buy their own outfit. I certainly bought my two theirs. I think they bought their own shoes but I didn't prescribe what those should be. We also paid for kilt hire for our best man.
I've been a bridesmaid twice and both times my dress was provided.
I think it's really rude to ask someone to be part of your wedding party and then saddle them with a lot of expense. (JMHO)
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PeaNut 110,613
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Posted: 3/14/2013 3:12:16 AM
I had a $12,000 wedding in 2006. That was for everything though (rings and honeymoon included) and a lot of it was done as inexpensively as possible. Things like buying my veil, tiara and crinoline on ebay instead of at the bridal shop. We still had 200 invited and the big hotel reception though. My attendants did pay for their own dresses and shoes. Interestingly enough, they picked a dress more expensive than I had when we went shopping for them.


PeaNut 37,983
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Posted: 3/14/2013 3:39:52 AM

It was absolutely the biggest waste of money I have ever seen.

Why is that a waste of money? Honest question.

Clearly, they can afford it. Their daughter probably has wonderful memories of the start of her married life. Perhaps it was the wedding she has dreamed about. More likely, it was the wedding the mother of the bride has dreamed about giving her daughter. You weren't out ANY money. How is it that you consider that a waste of their money?

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PeaNut 154,643
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Posted: 3/14/2013 5:37:37 AM
Gosh I'd love to see photos of a $150,000 wedding.

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PeaNut 180,214
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Posted: 3/14/2013 6:57:53 AM
If you spent what you can afford and enjoyed it, it's not a waste of money.

My wedding was in 2004 and cost a little under $5K. We had about 30 people there.


PeaNut 53,328
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Posted: 3/14/2013 7:34:11 AM
I just read the other day that the average cost of a wedding now is $29,000. There's no way I would spend that much!

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PeaNut 48,410
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Posted: 3/14/2013 8:36:14 AM
I've always paid for my own dress and shoes when I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and never thought twice about it. Of course none of the girls picked out dresses which were incredibly expensive. I also had my bridesmaids pay for their own dresses and shoes (but again, I picked something that was affordable). I have never heard of the bride paying for that stuff. I feel if someone can't afford it, they can always choose to decline being in the wedding.

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PeaNut 61,691
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Posted: 3/14/2013 9:27:41 AM

On another note, back in the day when I got married (1986) my parents paid for EVERYTHING! My DD was in a wedding last year, and we had to pay for her dress and shoes. I think this is SOOOOO tacky, but it seems that this is the norm now.

Not only is it the norm now, in my circles it was the norm then, too. My friends and contemporaries were mostly getting married in the late 70's/early 80's, and it was NOT typical for the bride or the bride's family to pay for the bridesmaid's dress, shoes or other expenses. I turned down several requests to be a bridesmaid because I was putting myself through college and law school, living on a shoestring and simply didn't have the money required to do it. The only person for whom I agreed to be a bridesmaid was my cousin with whom I was very close, and that was a sacrifice. Being in a wedding can be a very expensive proposition. I didn't think it was tacky for the bridesmaids to have to buy their dresses, because it was normal and expected.

As for wedding costs, DH and I eloped, and I hope my 3 daughters will as well. We can easily afford weddings for them, but both DH and I find them to be wasteful. Of course, a big wedding was never my dream, so that's easy for me to say.

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PeaNut 221,236
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Posted: 3/14/2013 9:40:43 AM
During my bridesmaid years (early 90s) I never paid for a bridesmaid dress. My attendants didn't pay for theirs, either - my mom, who was an excellent seamstress, made them. I asked them to wear any black shoes they liked, so no one had to go out and buy new shoes. We also provided their jewelry/accessories.

I guess I ran in low-class circles, or maybe it was just because most of my friends got married so young (as did I). No one seemed to expect college students or young people just starting out to be able to pay for their own dresses, tux rentals, etc. And certainly not extravagant showers or bachelorette parties as I've seen people talk about here. Showers were usually hosted by friends of the bride or groom's parents, or if they were hosted by bridesmaids they were very modest affairs.

When my brother got married in his early 30s he and his wife had a destination wedding and they asked my oldest dd to be a flower girl, and we did have to pay for her dress and shoes as well as airfare and accommodations for the wedding. I don't know if it was because the times had changed or if it had more to do with our stage in life - at that point my brother and his wife were able to pay for their own wedding, and we were all at a place in life where the cost of plane tickets wasn't going to force us to eat beans and rice for the next two months, so it worked out.


PeaNut 493,288
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Posted: 3/14/2013 9:53:20 AM
My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses. And I've always paid for my own dresses as well. BUT, we are respectful enough to each other not to pick out super expensive dresses. I had picked out expensive (to me) dresses from J.Crew, but let the bridesmaids wear their own jewelry and shoes. Didn't make them get their hair/makeup done, so it pretty much evened out.

The only one I did offer to help was my sister because my niece (her daughter) was also a flower girl and needed to buy a dress.

I don't think it's tacky at all to ask your bridesmaids to buy their own outfits.

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Posted: 3/14/2013 10:14:34 AM
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PeaNut 574,604
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Posted: 3/14/2013 10:32:58 AM

Any thoughts on bridesmaids having to "pay their way" in be in a wedding.

I just responded to something similar on the other thread, but I have never heard of a bride paying for her bridal party's dresses except here on 2Peas.
Me either. I've been in/attending weddings for decades. I've never heard of the bridesmaids not paying for the dress unless there was some extraordinary financial situation or the maid was still a teenager so her parents paid.

Although I do remember one wedding that the bride called off and she paid her bridesmaids back for the gowns they'd purchased.


PeaNut 452,927
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Posted: 3/14/2013 11:03:30 AM
- I've been in MANY a wedding my dear, and have ALWAYS paid for my own dress.. as did the girls in MY wedding (1979).. and DD was just in a wedding and she paid for her dress.. Absolutely NOT tacky.. and all were LOVELY LOVELY weddings.

- Maybe if I were WEALTHY (serious $$$) and had money to "BURN" I'd LOVE to be able pay for the girl's dresses especially if they were on hard well as for formal attire for the men!!!!

- cost of weddings have gone through the roof.. but when/if my DD gets married, if I could put on a nice day for $12,000..I'd be ecstatic!!! because most of our friend's kid's weddings were $25,000 and up... and I keep on keepin'on workin'....

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PeaNut 52,817
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Posted: 3/14/2013 11:10:42 AM
I haven't been in a wedding for quite a few years, but it was always the norm for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, shoes, etc..

We did pay for my bridal party's dresses only because my MOH was going to be 8 months pregnant at the wedding. The only dresses we could find that had coordinating styles that would work for her and for the non-pregnant bridesmaids (and that we all liked) were more expensive than I was comfortable asking them to spend. I reallocated from other parts of the budget so we could cover the dresses.

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PeaNut 452,048
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Posted: 3/14/2013 11:33:11 AM
I've never been a bridesmaid, only a bride. The norm for our area at the time (1994) was for the bridesmaids to pay for their dresses. For my wedding my mom paid for my dress and offered to give each bridesmaid $100 toward their dresses. I chose the color of the dresses and my bridesmaids helped me choose a style. I would say we chose a style that could be worn again. They probably spent $50-$75 after my mom gave them $100.


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PeaNut 421,136
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Posted: 3/14/2013 12:31:59 PM
This is why we eloped!

My first wedding and his second. It cost us about 5K total, including the week long honeymoon in Key West. Just us, justice of the peace and witnesses by the frog pond at a B&B. Mom and dad paid for my dress, shoes and purse and the cake. Besides their gift (they bought us a refrigertaor when we returned, this was 1999), that is all they did and all I wanted. I was 33 years old and certainly did not expect my parents to foot the bill as I had been on my own for years.

I guess 150K is okay if you can afford it, but I would rather have that towards a house or vacations or cars or (if I had them) kids' college fund.

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PeaNut 171,221
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Posted: 3/14/2013 12:48:56 PM
My DD and her fiance are paying for their wedding and it has a $15,000 budget. They are paying cash as they go. They saved for 2 years. I'm paying for the photographer to the tune of $2,500. I also gave the matron of honor $200 towards the shower, and I'm providing all the supplies for the invites, favors and I'm doing a dessert table. My ex gave her (DD) $1,000.

In other words, my DD is having the wedding we all could afford together.

I've never known of bridesmaids NOT paying for their stuff. I was in a bunch of weddings in the 80s and 90s and always paid for my dress and shoes.


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PeaNut 308,857
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Posted: 3/14/2013 1:35:45 PM

At least 75-100 of the people who RSVP'd YES didn't show up. I'm still a little bit bitter about it to be honest. We had the tables and chairs (it was an outdoor wedding) set up for that many people, and in the pictures it looks so awkward because so many of them were empty. It also felt like a slap in the face because that was SO. MUCH. FOOD. that we paid for! We didn't even use half.

Enjoying this thread, as DD got married this past Saturday. I, too, am amazed and ticked off at the people who RSVP'd and did not show up. Do they not realize that at $40 a head (in our case) it really adds up? A waste of $80 a couple? Some may have had legitimate excuses, but I'd bet half of them just didn't come, forgot, or found something else to do. Regardless, unless it was something huge, that is really rude in my book! So I feel your distress, although there weren't that many no-shows at ours, bit adds to several hundreds of dollars worth of waste.


PeaNut 267,237
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Loc: Easton, Massachusetts

Posted: 3/14/2013 2:27:02 PM
I also think that having the bridesmaid pay for her dress and shoes is tacky.
Don't get me started on that cash bar.

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PeaNut 145,432
May 2004
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Posted: 3/14/2013 4:31:27 PM
My daughter is getting married in August and we are paying for the bridesmaid dresses, my daughter told them the color and fabric and they got to choose the dress, they get to pick their own accessories(shoes and jewelry) in yellow, which they will pay for and we will be paying for them to get their hair done on the day of the wedding.

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PeaNut 57,475
December 2002
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Loc: The South

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:38:35 PM
We were married in 1998. We had three attendants on each side. We paid for the bridesmaids dresses and for the groomsmen's tux rentals. We felt very strongly about not asking people to shell out money to stand up with us. However, it was not the norm at the time.


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ca angel

PeaNut 400,602
November 2008
Posts: 2,455
Layouts: 36
Loc: So Cal

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:57:06 PM
I was in my bil's wedding on his fiance's side. We got married the same summer. The bridesmaid dress cost more than my wedding dress, which was around $300. It didn't know the cost until it showed up on my credit card statement! I was not happy ( but yes I should have asked before hand). Even worse, the dress was made out of some "special" fabric that permantly held creases. Some of the bridesmaids had packed theirs or even worn them prior to the wedding and they looked horrible. I had such bad feelings toward the dress I never wore it again. It was a nice tea length dress that was a perfect style for church so I gave it to my friend's teenage daughter.

Future SIL and I were not on the best terms to begin with but OK. It all went down from there and never improved. They are in the middle of divorcing which has gone on for at least 2-3 years. He is such a great guy and she never deserved him.
My mom made all our bridesmaid dresses and I paid for the fabric, but my bridesmaids (most in college) were willing to pay for their own dresses. They picked out and paid for their own shoes.
ca angel

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PeaNut 266,636
June 2006
Posts: 11,036
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Loc: Alberta

Posted: 3/14/2013 5:04:47 PM
Dresses are usually paid for by the bride around here. In the mid to late 80's and 90's when my group was all getting married.
In the late 1990's a coworker had to buy her own dress for her sisters wedding. It really ticked her off. We had a formal event at work, she decided to get her 'monies' worth out of that dress. She wore it. There was an accident at the chocolate fountain that stained the dress. Her sister was more than pissed. An exact replacement could not be found. It was the office gossip all summer.

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PeaNut 85,321
May 2003
Posts: 545
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Posted: 3/14/2013 5:57:06 PM
just wondering if you personally know the bride and groom
i'd be pissed having to invite my parents bosses
i hope there is at least some connection there between you and the couple


PeaNut 518,010
August 2011
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Posted: 3/14/2013 6:46:17 PM
Thanks for all the posts. I have really enjoyed reading them. I have come to the conclusion that it depends on where you live with regard to paying for the bridesmaids dresses. We have two DD, and DH and I have already decided we will pay for dresses, shoes, jewelry, hair, etc., for all, including tuxes for the groosmen and ushers.


PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 1,056
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY

Posted: 3/14/2013 7:01:18 PM
I've been in a few weddings and always paid for my own bridesmaids dress. I didn't pay for my bridesmaids dresses. I thought that was norm.

My DH and I paid for our entire wedding ourselves. Our families didn't offer and we didn't ask. We paid cash for everything and ended up getting a small loan for the end balances ($500). We had a lot of time to do this though (paying cash for everything).

Michelle Rae

PeaNut 11,947
March 2001
Posts: 1,852
Layouts: 23

Posted: 3/14/2013 8:10:40 PM
I've been in 5 weddings besides my own. In southwestern PA it is tradition or common practice for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses and shoes. Usually the bridal party gift is their jewelry. It's not tacky here because it what everyone does. I considered it a gift to the bride. (I did buy the couples shower gifts, paid towards the shower and and a wedding gift)

These weddings were all in the late 80's and 90's

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PeaNut 87,007
May 2003
Posts: 3,339
Layouts: 18
Loc: QLD, Australia

Posted: 3/17/2013 6:25:11 AM
I've been in a few weddings and always bought my own dress (or the fabric for it to be made). For my wedding, I told my MOH to just find a dress in black that she was comfy in. I offered to pay but she said that because she was wearing it to three weddings within a short period, she was happy to do that. Of course I paid for hair and makeup and accessories.

Our wedding was about 14k but my parents were nice enough to pay about half of that.


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