I know I am a whiner today and I am sorry. But I am sick of this... [VENT]

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Posted 4/16/2013 by benem in NSBR Board
 

benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:26:32 AM
Disclaimer: I know people in Boston who WISH they had my petty problems. I KNOW.

My larger vent is that no matter how hard I try to be on top of things, and be proactive, sh!t still gets messed up, and then I get frustrated because things get messed up. Because I AM TRYING.

Yesterday evening there was an annual professional event at my school that I had RSVP'd for 4 months ago. It's kind of a big deal. At the time I RSVP'd still lived down the street from school, now I live further away. No problem, I left work 2 HOURS early to get to my car, to drive to campus and find parking and get a seat on time. I live 6 miles from work. I took the CTA. I HATE THE CTA. It took 2 HOURS to get to my car. In the pouring rain. That is not normal! I still went to the event, but I missed 40 minutes of a 55 minute event that I had planned on for months. And I was exhausted.

Now today I call my dentist and my dental insurance bc I got a bill from my dentist for a "procedure" I had in Dec. Well all I had is a cleaning. My insurance covers cleanings.

Oh well. My workplace runs benefits on our fiscal year which is Sept 1 - Aug 31. So you'd think our dental benefits would run on that schedule. But guess, what - they don't. Which is probably somewhere in our documentation: "Oh hai, yes everything else resets on Sept 1st EXCEPT how many dental cleanings you can get. That is Jan 1 - to Dec 31." Which I probably read at some point but geez everything else resets on Sept 1 in our benefits! Now, because I was trying to be more proactive with my teeth, I have this bill I wasn't expecting and haven't budgeted for. And if I had pushed my cleaning back 2 weeks... but I didn't bc I had a busy Jan. So I did it early. Now I have to pay for it.

You might have seen a thread I started last week where I wanted a nicer word for "dumbass" - especially a British term. Bc the word was for ME and I was writing a thank you / apology note. Sorry I am such a muppet sounds better than, sorry I am such a dumbass. The thing is, I am not having a blonde moment. I am really TRYING here. I am really paying attention and these are the stupid things. I can't even describe here what I was writing the note about. The mistake I made is small in the grand scheme of things... but it was so STUPID. So ridiculous.

And I got my first gas bill yesterday and it is $135, and I am like for a tiny 1 bedroom apartment with insulation everywhere, no leaks, where I turn down the heat when I go to work and to bed, and use my oven maybe 2xs a week, and don't have a dryer or anything else gas, and this wasn't Jan it was MARCH - WTF???

[/whine]

I'm frustrated and annoyed. With myself. Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like you are trying to do everything right and it doesn't seem to matter???

Well, that's me. Is it that I'm over 40? I don't have kids, I don't have Mom-brain (I am familiar with the concept) and I don't have any excuses. It's not that I am flighty or that I don't pay attention either! But it feels like I am living a life where I just ignore details and I swear I don't!!!

Grrr. How much is your gas bill, may I ask? Does mine seem high to you???

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm sorry I'm such a muppet. (Thanks, Shimelle)



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:28:34 AM
Maybe I just need someone to help me look on the bright side of life.

Right now I am listening to Limp Bizkit's BREAK STUFF bc that's how I'm feeling.

Maybe I need a better song. I am open to suggestions.



ginacivey
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:31:07 AM
no matter what is happening in the news...you are entitled to your feelings.
even if they coincide with a tragedy

I have no helpful solutions but wanted to say that sometimes people just have dumbshit moments

gina

Woobster
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:33:29 AM
I feel for you. I have those days and they suck. It feels like one thing goes wrong and then all the other things that were going right decide to change their mind and jump in the "I'm going to go wrong!" bandwagon.

I'm so sorry.

I have no suggestions other than to do the best you can. That's all any of us can do.

All that being said, your gas bill seems really high. I live in a 2200 sq. ft. house and in the middle of winter my gas bill still doesn't quite reach what yours is. I'd have that checked out pronto!

*KAS*
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:37:33 AM
Give yourself a break. Stop being so hard on yourself. Mistakes happen, shit happens, and then tomorrow comes and we get a new chance to do things right. Stop beating yourself up for past mistakes - you'll make plenty in the future, so don't hoarde the old ones.

I don't have a gas bill, so I'm no help there.

And when I'm in a funk, I like to blast Pink.


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Georgiapea
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:38:12 AM
I thought a Brit dumbass was called a sod.

mytwoandras
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:39:27 AM
My mom has gas heat in her two story four bedroom house and her bill runs about $85 a month. She doesn't run her heat at night or when she is out, so it is probably on about eight or so hours a day.


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basketdiva
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:47:02 AM
By any chance does that first gas bill include a deposit or a balance due from previous owner/tenant? If not,I'd check from my neighbors to see how high their bill is.

benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:50:52 AM

Give yourself a break. Stop being so hard on yourself. Mistakes happen, shit happens, and then tomorrow comes and we get a new chance to do things right. Stop beating yourself up for past mistakes


You are right. My larger issue. I have no compassion for myself. I am impatient with this boneheaded errors and I blame myself for not being a better person. I need to work on that.



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:51:29 AM

It feels like one thing goes wrong and then all the other things that were going right decide to change their mind and jump in the "I'm going to go wrong!" bandwagon.


*laugh*

Little bastards.



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:54:05 AM

By any chance does that first gas bill include a deposit or a balance due from previous owner/tenant?


I do have to pay a deposit and about $27 or that is the deposit. And there is a "past due balance" and I was like -- um this is my first bill??? And that might be part of the deposit too.

But that is still $90 for gas. For a MONTH. When I am barely using it!

That is a call I have to make. I am dreading it, especially in the mood I am in. Mainly bc when I called the gas company last month and had a problem with them, they just didn't seem to care much.

"Hello! You need heat and we have it! Complain all ya like, you are not going anywhere!"



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:55:16 AM

And when I'm in a funk, I like to blast Pink.


I like that song she has about getting run over by an 18 wheeler and getting back up again. For a while that was my theme song.



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 11:56:51 AM

no matter what is happening in the news...you are entitled to your feelings.
even if they coincide with a tragedy

I have no helpful solutions but wanted to say that sometimes people just have dumbshit moments


Thanks Gina.

I can handle the little problems of life. I mean, I do, all the time.

It's just feeling like most or all of these things could have been stopped before they started. Like, I saw there could be a problem and I tried to address it in advance. Didn't help. That's what's bothering me.

Stupid insurance.



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 2:04:14 PM
Just to follow up - I sent an email to our financial director saying, I didn't know that our dental insurance is calendar year based, not fiscal year based and maybe you could look at it and consider getting it to sync up..

And she came and got me bc she had the insurance company on her phone telling her our policy IS fiscal year based. So I was on the phone with her contact in her office, and they looked and it turns out our policy IS fiscal year based... EXCEPT FOR CLEANINGS.

Our financial director is seriously peeved about this. She is now following up with our insurance consulting firm that sold us the policy.

Somebody's in trouble! And it's not me.

I felt better when she said it was ridiculous that the insurance is giving me a hard time about paying for preventative care.



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 2:08:14 PM
... and thanks for letting me vent some. I felt better.



icedpea
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Posted: 4/16/2013 2:09:21 PM
I think most of us have those days. For me, it's when it rains it pours. Don't be so hard on yourself. Sunny side - will you still be upset about many of these things next month or even next week? Tomorrow will be better.

mikklynn
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:04:24 PM
Cut yourself some slack. Everyone has bad days! I bet if one your friends was struggling you wouldn't call her a dumbass, so don't call yourself one.

By the way, dumbass is pretty much my pet name for my DH and he knows it. Ah, love...


Lynn



fiddlerontheroof
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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:07:55 PM
I feel your pain. I keep missing small things at work, and of course, they're documented in emails that my boss is on, so I look like a dumbass.

Luckily she knows I'm not. I just hate that you make one small mistake and then suddenly, all you do for a week is keep making mistakes. Hate those weeks.



Free~Bird
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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:10:08 PM
we have an office in town, it's about 12x15. My last electricity bill was almost $300!!!!! We about crapped. We figured out the baseboard heater was malfunctioning, but it took a month to figure it out.

I think mom brain also comes with the age. I feel your pain. It frustrates (and sometimes angers) my husband too. I wish I could fix it.

I'm sorry you're having a crappy week.


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benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:11:02 PM
No, I won't. I know.

It was just a bunch of things piling up that all seemed based on me not managing things very well, even when I was trying to. Frustrating.



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:14:36 PM

I'm actually surprised that your dental office didn't flag that your appts were too close together. They should have never let you schedule your appt in December - or at least warned you.


It was the hygenist who suggested it! I was having some issues and she said we should try a cleaning every 4 months instead of 6. Since that was past our fiscal year reset, I agreed!

I was supposed to have another cleaning this week - I just called and pushed it back.

uuugh Live and Learn. I just moved and I fixed my car so money is super tight right now and I am feeling the pinch.



Sparky2308
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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:24:00 PM
Oh dear, you sound ever so fed up!

Moments of muppetry happen to most of us, don't waste precious energy fretting over it.

If it helps, I regularly get instant messages from colleagues that just say ' MM?'.

That's shorthand for 'was that yet another muppet moment, numptyfeatures?' - you're not on your own

benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:45:13 PM

we have an office in town, it's about 12x15. My last electricity bill was almost $300!!!!! We about crapped. We figured out the baseboard heater was malfunctioning, but it took a month to figure it out.


AIIIEEEE!!!

I just texted the previous tenant - he and BF lived here for 3 years. He said their max for gas was $60 and that was in Jan with one of them home all day with the heat up. Something is amiss.

Seriously my 1st electric bill was $15. $15! And I leave a lamp on all day so I don't walk into darkness, and I have fallen asleep accidentally with the bathroom light on twice. The heat, I turn down regularly.



benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:46:42 PM

That's shorthand for 'was that yet another muppet moment, numptyfeatures?'


OMG. That. Is. ADORABLE.

I know Muppet is a bad thing in Brit-speak but here it is just soooo cute. I love The Muppet Show!

I feel like a muppet these days. Not in the cute way.



Sparky2308
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Posted: 4/16/2013 3:54:11 PM
Muppet's a very mild insult and usually said with a degree of affection, as is numptyfeatures, even in the UK - I can live with either

The next insult in line is 'knob', which is far less mild, and after that we get into 'insults we would not utter in front of our children'. I've got loads of those!

benem
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Posted: 4/16/2013 4:05:04 PM
Well where were you on my "British word for dumbass" thread???!!!

That was an AWESOME thread. I loved it all.



Sparky2308
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Posted: 4/16/2013 4:10:45 PM
I think I did reply but shimelle had beat me to it with muppet and numpty, which were the most appropriate at the time. Although pillock's always good, and eejit adds a bit of Irish flavour if I'm so inclined.

My DS has a huge range of American insults to draw on, current fave is 'asshat' - I don't get that, and the mental image is just bizarre

KRC11
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Posted: 4/16/2013 4:14:20 PM
I see someone one else pointed it out, but my dental office watches for things like that and tells me when I can come back for cleaning. I'd have a talk with them also and ask them to flag your account as a check with the insurance company for coverage first. Since your coverage is kinda wonky, they'd probably want to check each time which is something they can do between when you make the appointment and when you come in.

Gas does seem high. I'm in two story 2400 s.f. home and gas was about $50 last month and that was high. I do live in the south but it's been colder than usual (for us) in March.

HoneyBee13
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 4/16/2013 5:09:25 PM
I am new to the NSBR and thought that I would put my 2 cents in.
Sometimes life hands you a big bag of lemons and says pucker up!
It sux when it all comes at the same time.
I have read all of your threads and you sound like you have your sh!t together, quit putting yourself down, it will all get better!


Donna in GA
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Posted: 4/16/2013 5:16:05 PM
Gosh, I can relate to those kinds of weeks. It is enough to make you want to sit down and have a sobfest. Sometimes being an adult sucks!! When is all of that fun supposed to start that we just knew we would have as kids?

*Delphinium Twinkle*
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Posted: 4/16/2013 6:27:17 PM
Sorry umpire having a sucky day.
My gas bill is about $30 for a 2500 sq ft home with very little insulation and windows that don't seal.
But I live in Southern California near the coast with no snow


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TravelAgent
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Posted: 4/16/2013 6:47:25 PM
I used to have a mind like a steel trap. Near photographic memory.

Now I take a photograph to remember.

Over time, it's been my experience you need to find new ways to think and organize your to-do list. Life rarely slows down, after all -- we keep piling on more and more to remember.

If you had a system for dates and times, take a look at what failed when it fails. Maybe it's more lists, maybe it's lists in a different place, maybe it's a system of colors (write in one, cross out as done in another).

Whatever it is, calling yourself a dumbshit isn't the solution. It's not even that you are a dumbshit some of the time. It's just that you are transitioning to this new, upgraded way of organizing your life and things fall through the cracks in the process.

Julie



Really Red
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Posted: 4/16/2013 10:02:15 PM
I feel your stress, sister. I am run fifty ways to Monday and I am just completely lost. I'm not even quite sure what day of the week it actually is today. I have to make sure my kids are here there and everywhere and we have a giant piece of software going into production this week. Their dad is out of town. I'm stressed over STUPID things and I worry about them and I am so so so NOT a worrier.

But to answer your question, WOW that gas bill is high. No natural gas here where I live, but that just seems giant. Maybe they added a turn-on fee up front?

And I hate insurance companies. You should say something to your dentist. That is their JOB to know that. Otherwise, why would they constantly ask you for your insurance. My dentist knows exactly when I can have cleanings.

p.s. FYI, if you get slammed in the mouth by a kid and go see the dentist because you lost a tooth or two and you open your mouth at the dentist, who can help you NOT AT ALL, you will pay for a "cleaning."


Andrea

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