|Posted: 4/30/2013 12:57:47 PM|
Honestly, I feel this way about my pages and cards because my dad is actually an artist. However, as insecure as I have made myself feel he has NEVER said anything negative or hurtful about my work. I ask for "honest" feedback and he gives it to me. It is never hurtful. He is constructive, complimentary and gives suggestions or things to think about.
Keep creating. Enjoy what you are doing for you!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:02:35 PM|
Your friend sounds kind of mean. And like who made her the "Queen of Good Scrapbooking"
Plus in my experience people who say obnoxious things because they are "just being honest" are usually both thin-skinned and full of themselves. If she's really a friend I would let her know that her comments hurt your feelings and that you're not going to talk to her about scrapbooking anymore.
Loc: North Dallas,Texas
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:07:33 PM|
We all scrap so much different than the person we might scrap next to at a crop or such.
She might be a graphic artist but clearly she doesn't have much class. The golden rule we learn as children is if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.
I worked at a scrapbook store during college and trust me I saw pages that I totally would not personally do myself, but does that mean they are wrong-HECK NO!
I have friends that scrapbook and they have said things too, if I don't like a page together I find one detail that is really cool or neat and stress its importance. Don't listen to her fully.
Don't let the dreamkillers get me
Loc: so. california
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:16:14 PM|
if you are happy doing it, keep on crafting. don't let anyone's else's opinion affect your desire to create. your friend is obviously looking at your work from a graphic artist's point of view and not that of a scrapbooker's. i think both worlds have very different perpectives of their craft and both are open to interpretation. while your friend could have been more tactful, her opinion was just that---her opinion. it wasn't fact.
Loc: southern manitoba canada
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:16:47 PM|Oh my! I'm so sorry. Just because it wasn't something maybe she would make?? Unnecessary.
Keep making your pages!! Please!
Loc: New Brunswick, Canada
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:19:32 PM|
A true friend would not say anything that would hurt your feelings so much. That is crazy. I have a true scrapbooking artist friend in my eyes at least. I swear she could use a blue pen and a grocery bag and everything would be beautiful. But you know what, she is constantly te
Long me she likes my work.....
Love and friendships are supposed to feel good.....she does not seem like she gives a flying darn about you or she would have found something nice to say.
Friends are supposed to uplift you not upset you and make you feel bad about your hobby. I am sure u you are probable quite talented. Screw her.
Loc: New Brunswick, Canada
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:29:48 PM|
I just thought about it.....is she like this in other areas in your life? If so, you are her punching bag that she uses to make herself feel better.
To the person who said her mother and sister tell her to get a life that she has too much time on her hands could say the same thing about how they spend their time.....if one of them reads, is it silly that once the boom is read there is no tangible proof of Ike well spent? If a person sings or anything else, how does it merrit more respect than what you do. You are doing it as a creative outlet....you are not harming people. They are harming people when they judge you.
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:40:36 PM|
Wow! I don't think that person is much of a friend. A friend encourages, never discourages. Don't let her opinion stop you from creating what you love. ((hugs))
Mary Jo R
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:42:30 PM|
I'm so sorry.
I just don't get people like that.
I had one of those types in my life.
And now I don't.
Life is much sweeter without that type of "friendship"
Loc: Just a short drive from Nashville, TN! (Yee-Haw Ya'll!)
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:43:58 PM|Can I have her phone number or e-mail so I can give her a piece of my mind????
I am IN SHOCK that someone you consider a friend would be so horribly hateful. How did this come up and what exactly did she say?
I'm speechless. Your post made me cry.
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:47:55 PM|
You don't take it because it WASN'T brutal honesty.
It was extraordinarily cruel, mean and vicious. I wouldn't have said that to a stranger, much less a friend.
That opinion was given by a person who doesn't scrapbook, who doesn't know anything about the various designs of scrapbooking, therefore it is meaningless.
Does she have a history of putting you down like that? Sounds like she has a very low self esteem, and by putting you down she is lifting herself up. She is using you to make herself feel better. Don't let her. Let her know how her words hurt you deeply and if this is a pattern it may be time to step away from this relationship for awhile like another Pea mentioned.
Don't let her spoil your love of scrapbooking. I'm sure your pages are BEAUTIFUL and if you feel brave enough post some in the gallery and let us Peas see them. I'm sure you'll get lots of love from us.
Debbie in MD.
Loc: Denver, CO
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:49:25 PM|
Wow...so let me say that I bet it wasn't the intent of your friend to hurt you, maybe she had something else going on that caused her to say such hurtful things. That said, sometimes, even those of us that tend to be brutally honest, should think before we speak. You can think it, but sometimes you don't need to say it especially if it's going to be hurtful...slippery slope. I think you should tell her how hurt you were by her comments and have a discussion to clear the air. I think you'll feel much better and she needs to know how she made you feel.
As for your hobby, keep your head up. If you enjoy it, then don't let anyone stop you. You are worth every piece of cardstock and adhesive you own. I have a SIL who is making cards and other items and I don't care for her "art" but I don't say it to her. I graciously accept what is given and leave it at that.
Air Force Mom Of 1
Loc: East TN
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:49:46 PM|
I agree with everyone--she's no friend. I sincerely hope you will continue to scrap the way you like. That's what this hobby is about. No right or wrong way. Perhaps she needs to read all the responses to your post. What was your reply to her?
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:50:19 PM|
In reality all of our work is probably fairly repetitious. We find our style or certain techniques that we like & we just go with it. Most authors write the same stories over & over just putting I'm new characters & they sell millions. There is probably a fair amount of repetition in your friends work as well. It's just the way it works when u do something all of the time. Furthermore, scrapbooking is handmade art. In some instances it probably does look like something a 5 yr old could do until u actually sit down to do it. It sound like perhaps she just has a completely different perspective & no filter when she opens her mouth. Don't let her make u feel bad! Everything u have made will be appreciated by those who get to look back on it someday & is loved by u already & that is all that matters
|Posted: 4/30/2013 1:54:59 PM|
Well, I just looked at your pages and think they are great. I'm not just saying that either, they are really good.
|Posted: 4/30/2013 2:00:36 PM|Don't give it another thought!!! We've all seen people's work that is TOTALLY not our style. That's one of the awesome things about this hobby - its YOUR creative outlet..YOU get to choose what your LOs look like, the feel they have, how complicated or simple they are. I'm sure some people cringe when they see my work...the difference is they have tact and don't criticize me!!! (and boy do I appreciate that!!!) Chin up and keep enjoying your hobby!!!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 2:07:26 PM|
Okay, first I have to admit that I haven't read all of the two pages of responses here but I just had to say, I read your OP and I was absolutely shocked and horrified!
I can understand people having a difference in opinion in style, especially when someone is an artistic 'professional' but that doesn't give anyone the right to say such things. While perhaps your friend was trying to be honest, the lack of tact and consideration for constructiveness was completely unnecessary and IMO, incredibly rude. I have a fellow quilter friend and she and I have very different styles and colour preferences but I would never say those things so tactlessly.
Anyway, just to wrap up, I'm sincerely sorry to hear your story and I do hope that you won't allow this person to destroy your love of your hobby. Scrap for yourself and to hell what anyone else thinks and since she so clearly dislikes your work, don't bother giving her something as precious as your work in mini-albums, Christmas cards or whatever.
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
|Posted: 4/30/2013 2:13:28 PM|
Okay so they are childish and repetitious, now get out there and create some more childish and repetitious LOs! You do not have to accept her comments as gospel and I hope you do not, because she's not an expert even if she is a graphic artist. Art is subjective. Have fun!
Loc: anywhere anytime
|Posted: 4/30/2013 2:16:19 PM|
Wow! And I thought I had friend issues! Her comments were very mean and hurtful. She is not a friend.
But what I've noticed about myself is that I am bothered by mean/cruel/stupid comments only when I feel there might be a grain of truth to it.
If after these obnoxious comments and after the hurt/embarrassment is gone you feel that part of her comments were mean, but not totally off the mark, I suggest you take classes that will stretch your style. If you yourself have felt you need a change, take a class.
If on the other hand, you love what you see, tell your "friend" she is an a_ _ and to go pick on someone else because you will not listen to her insults anymore.
Loc: Southern Oregon
|Posted: 4/30/2013 2:28:52 PM|
First.... I want to say sorry your friend was so mean.
Second..... I would ask her who gave her the right to judge you. The thing about creative talent is that no matter who is doing the creating it is all about the person who is doing it.
Somebody told me once that scrapbooking was stupid and why would anybody want to waste their time doing it. Well, I replied with..... I asked her if she had ever tried doing it? she said no she would never do something so childish. Well, guess what? about 5 years later I saw the person in a craft store in the scrapbook section and I stopped and talked to her. I asked her what she was doing in the scrap section and she said she was buying supplies for her new hobby..... Well, she had found out that she was wrong and she now thought it was the best thing ever.
I still think your friend was mean and she needs education in manners. Mean people are never going to become nice people.
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
|Posted: 4/30/2013 2:35:15 PM|
Lola- My DD is majoring in graphic design, and I'm sure I don't follow all the "rules" for proper graphic designy-ness, but she knows I haven't had the training she's had and that I enjoy scrapping.
There are plenty of articles and free classes available that cover design principles if you're wanting to learn more about those, but I'd take her comments as being a critique of someone with specialized training in a slightly different area of expertise. She's not a scraper, so she does't totally get where you're coming from.
I guess it would be like having a professional chef critique your favorite cookies- he's highly educated in th area of cooking, but what you like may not be his taste (and not all chefs are great at baking desserts, either).
|Posted: 4/30/2013 2:47:33 PM|
I saw some of your layouts in your gallery, and they are GREAT! They do not look childish at all.
Please don't let her comments bother you!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 2:50:17 PM|Wow! That is really mean. Just because she is a designer doesn't give her the right to ridicule you. As long as you love what your doing don't pay any attention to what your "friend" says. Do what YOU Love and Don't let the opinion of others get you down. Now get scrapping! I'm sure your layouts are beautiful.
|Posted: 4/30/2013 3:06:39 PM|
I believe Picasso and Cezanne were both called childish and repetitive in their time...and guess what, they showed ground-breaking genius. The people throwing those ridiculous insults just didn't 'get' their art.
So maybe your friend should just be pitied that she doesn't get the beauty of an art form that might not fit the little box she's used to working in. Don't let her sad lack of vision impact your enjoyment and self-worth.
Loc: NEW ORLEANS, LA
|Posted: 4/30/2013 3:13:48 PM|
I don't think this is a "friend"! A graphic artist is probably going to have more "sophisticated" tastes based on their career choice. You are correct, we all have different tastes but that doesn't mean we can't appreciate other styles. I think your friend is mean. I feel certain the gifts you've given are greatly appreciated. They were from the heart and besides, those people may have your taste. Have faith in yourself!
You're unique and special!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 3:16:15 PM|
I'm sorry. That wasn't a very nice thing for a friend to say. I f you enjoy what you do don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Like I know I can't carry a tune in bucket, but I'm still singing along with the car radio. Because it's fun!
Hope you feel better soon.
Loc: New Zealand
|Posted: 4/30/2013 4:00:48 PM|
You poor thing! Sending you hugs from NZ!
I learnt the perfect come back from a UK site called Mumsnet, it's perfect of any situation like this. You say to the person "Did you mean to be so rude?" and I bet they'd be so shocked, but hey hindsight is a wonderful thing.
FWIW, I don't think she's a real friend, we appreciate you!
Loc: New Braunfels, TX
|Posted: 4/30/2013 4:16:27 PM|
I'm glad to see so many using "friend" in quotes. That woman needs a swift kick upside the head, honestly.
I don't understand people who do this. The few that I do know, say such things out of jealousy and self hatred. Would YOU tell someone their work looks childish? No, because you're a good, decent person. Drop her out of your life.
Sorry, that woman makes me mad. You give from the heart, don't ever be ashamed or embarrased about your gifts.
|Posted: 4/30/2013 6:09:01 PM|
My advice is not to give this one person the power to doubt or ruin your hobby. Why does her opinion matter to you? Just because she's a graphic artist doesn't make her an expert on scrapbooking or any other hobby. If her "brutally honest" evaluation of your work is any indication, she's likely not a respected professional in her own field. Her colleagues probably have both design & people skills, so she took an opportunity to belittle you to feel better about herself. Without any suggestions for improvement, her comments were a negative reflection on her character not your work!
Montana Sweet Pea
Loc: Fargo, ND
|Posted: 4/30/2013 6:14:00 PM|
Sigh- your post sounds so sad & it makes my heart hurt for you. I'm sorry your "friend" was so mean...it was a sucky thing to say. Please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed...and keep scrapbooking exactly the way you are & like to! And maybe rethink how good of a friend this person actually is. HUGS!!
black eyed pea with soul!
Loc: LI, NY
|Posted: 4/30/2013 6:25:15 PM|
I'm sorry but my first thought was what a douche and I don't normally use that word. Some friend! My son is an Art major specializing in graphic design. He would never say something so crazy.
Loc: Green Bay, WI
|Posted: 4/30/2013 6:36:19 PM|
Sending hugs to you Lola! Your "friend" reminds me of some people at work. You know those people who try to lift themselves up by putting others down. In reality they are very insecure. I just don't get that attitude. It costs you nothing to be kind and lift others up. They are selfish and rude.
Keep you head up and scrap on!
Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.
Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.
|Posted: 4/30/2013 6:37:53 PM|
I read your OP and then checked out your layouts before reading anyone's comments.
There's not a thing wrong with your layouts. I'm so glad you shared!
Please, don't stop making them. There is so much theraputic good in this hobby that that's enough reason to continue. Down the road, you'll have these layouts to remember and share with those who matter to you while you might have trouble remembering this friend's name.
If you asked your friend for constructive criticism, I don't think you got it. All you got was a destructive put-down.
If you didn't ask, you might ask them why in the world they thought it was important for them to speak to you in such a way.
I'm hoping that this was a total breakdown in communication between the two of you. Some people have very poor skills. *If this friend falls into that category, then you have every reason to be as brutally blunt and tell them that this was a terrible thing to say to someone and why.
*An important person in my life is a bit autistic with very poor communication abilities and lacks a more normal ability to empathize. It sucks, but that's the way it is.
Make a Wish!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 6:38:44 PM|What a terrible thing to say to someone, you should surrond yourself with people who are uplifting and encouraging, not just terribly mean.
I had a look through your gallery and had a little giggle because I had favorited some of your layouts earlier today.
Guess if your style is childish, mine must be too
Please don't stop scrapping, I found your work lovely and inspiring.
|Posted: 4/30/2013 6:44:05 PM|
Ugh. As a fellow scrapper and an art therapist, that hurts my heart. I always tell folks that there is no right or wrong way to create. Your pages and handmade gifts are precious exactly as they are. Don't allow this "friend" to spoil your hobby or cause you shame.
Loc: West Coast
|Posted: 4/30/2013 6:47:36 PM|
This is just one of those "wow" moments. Very hurtful.
Did you ask her to be brutally honest and critique your work? Even then, if you did, her thoughts are so mean and unfiltered. just awful.
Are you going to tell her your feelings? How hurt you are or ??
Loc: Long Island, New York
|Posted: 4/30/2013 7:14:14 PM|
Ouch! That must have hurt. I am sorry. Please don't let her insensitivity stop you from a hobby you love. I am sure the people who received your albums as gifts loved them because they were a gift from your heart.
|Posted: 4/30/2013 7:28:56 PM|
I think lots of Design type people don't "get" scrapbooking. I left a job at a very modern architecture firm afte 6.5 years, and modern architecture has a theme of "no decoration simply for decoration" so I think my co workers were a bit perplexed by my embellished scrapbooks. Although they'd have never said they looked childish.....
You do what makes YOU happy, you put your heart into what you do, and that's what matters.
|Posted: 4/30/2013 7:29:10 PM|
I'm sorry she was rude. Please don't take it to heart. As you can see from the replies in this thread, it tells us more about her than about you.
Loc: Fairfield, OH
|Posted: 4/30/2013 7:41:20 PM|That's really mean of her! I actually really like your layouts
Loc: North Carolina
|Posted: 4/30/2013 7:46:42 PM|That's so hurtful. I am so sorry she (he?) said that to you. Don't take it to heart. Maybe she said it out of anger or spite or she was in a bad place.
You are doing something wonderful.
And to the Pea who said this:
Hee! True, that.
I suggest you give her a mini album on MANNERS.
Big hugs, sweetie!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 7:49:19 PM|
The nerve of some people. Why would she even think you would want her opinion? Scrap for yourself. My cards and albums might not be professional looking either but hey.....I like them and that's all that counts in my book.
Loc: Northern Kentucky
|Posted: 4/30/2013 7:54:09 PM|As Stephanie from "Full House" would have so eloquently stated "How RUDE!!" Not everyone scraps the same way. Can you imagine how boring it would be if we did?! My albums have pages that took hours, and pages that literally took minutes! The most important thing is why you are doing this. If you are scrapbooking because you love it and you want to preserve memories for generations to come then keep plugging away girl! Who cares if your pages are repetitious? It means you have found a style that you like.And don't be embarrassed about the gift albums you did. I'm sure the people who received them absolutely loved them because you spent the time to make something unique just for them! Don't let your "friend"s mean comment bring you down! Just keep being who you are on your pages and be glad!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 7:58:47 PM|
That's horrible. I'm mad at her FOR you! And I would seriously question the type of friendship you have. I have friends that would give me an honest opinion, but that's just mean and hateful.
Loc: Duluth, GA
|Posted: 4/30/2013 8:02:25 PM|First of all, do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Your "friend" needs some lessons in tact. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, style, art interest, etc. Just because what you like doesn't float her boat, doesn't meant that it hasn't been a welcome gift of joy and thoughtfulness for those that you've gifted.
All of these words of kindness probably wont make you feel better, but just know that there is always more to learn out there and you can always perfect your craft IF you'd like to I spent half of the day learning new techniques via blogs and youtube, and I was astonished.
As scrapbookers, crafters, artists, what-have-yous, we all have different styles and we all evolve...when we want to, and when we're ready. Personally, I critiqued my own work through various swaps and thought that I was seriously behind on what "new" things were out there, so I researched and learned more, so that I felt better. Not to impress anyone or to fit in. Just, so that I would feel like I was changing things up and learning and incorporating new things into my tried and true techniques.
All of that being said, do what YOU want to do, when you want to do it. Anyone who is cruel enough to beat you down and tell you how to do your own art, isn't a friend. There's always more to learn, and it will always be out there (watched videos new to me, but from 3 years ago, today!), but as long as YOU are happy with your work and it brings a smile to your recipients' faces, then keep on being you!
I hate to be cliche', but...
I'm just a pea:)
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*
|Posted: 4/30/2013 8:03:15 PM|Holy cow
I've heard someone at a crop tell someone that her pages aren't good.
You should have seen the room full of women in an uproar over that!
The rude woman that said that ended up leaving and not coming back because everyone got on her about judging someone else's work and bring rude.
And I know a woman that likes to insult people's layouts constantly.
She's been banned from stores because if it
Don't let the rude insecurities of some mean girl get you down
Scrap and craft for your own pleasure. Don't bother sharing with her anymore since she can't just appreciate the work you put into your projects.
You know, I know several people that are graphic artists and they don't all do work that I find good at all. But I am move enough to not ever mention my opinion.
So just because she's a graphic artist doesn't mean she knows anything really
Keep scrapping and having a good time with it.
Loc: Mississippi, USA
|Posted: 4/30/2013 8:21:36 PM|
WOW! several thoughts popped through my head!
1. "poor graphic designer" she must not have had too much success if she is willing and able to tear down someone's handmade with love hobby. Seriously is she in 4th grade?
2. "And that stupid comment is why I don't show anyone (outside of the scrapbooking hobby) my work or make anyone an album except my mother" I empathize. You showed, someone you trusted, your personal creation and she did not have the maturity to respect it by keeping her hurtful comments to herself.
3. Send us some of her work so; we can "honestly" comment on it (Now I am being a 4th grader but...it is an idea that made me feel better ha!)
4. "I am so sorry she made you feel embarrassed about your work. As an "artist" she should know ALL art is subjective."
5. Hang in there and hopefully you will be able to forgive her and mend the hurt.
6. Keep Calm and Scrap On!!!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 8:36:15 PM|
Some people can only feel good about themselves when they put others down. So sad. Life is short.......Dump her! Do what YOU like, and enjoy the process. Good for you for mentioning it rather than dwell on it and thinking her opinion actually had any validity.
Loc: So Cal Gal Living in NJ
|Posted: 4/30/2013 8:38:18 PM|Oh, my! What a horrible thing to say to you! And I say this as a professional graphic designer AND scrapbooker! There are certainly times when I have thought to myself that certain layouts I've seen have not been up 'my exacting standards of design'.... but I have so much respect for the incredible amount of love and time that goes into creating a layout, and what these creations mean to people, that I would NEVER criticize a layout. (Unless of course, I'm asked )
Scrapbooking is many things to many people: art, hobby, passion, creative outlet, pastime... why would someone feel the need to be anything but supportive of a friend who has a passion to create? I just don't get it. As everyone else has said, she's no friend. Friends support each other!
|Posted: 4/30/2013 8:42:27 PM|
Please don't listen to your friend. Art is subjective, and she should know that. You enjoy your art. That is all that matters. If every artist listened to their critics, then art would never progress.
I keep trying to give your friend some sort of pass, but I can't. What she said just can't be helpful in any way. It wasn't constructive. She didn't give you some friendly pointers. She just tore you down.
Perhaps it is time to evaluate her on her friendship skills.