I feel embarrassed and ashamed.
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 4/30/2013 by LolaLayout in General Scrappin'
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Jaimeelynn
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Posted: 4/30/2013 8:44:29 PM
I know you just wanted us to listen, but I felt compelled to say I think what your friend said to you is appalling!!! There are a million different ways to document your memories and the ONLY person who decides if it's good or not is you! That is all!


I am a project lifer. That's why I am taking so many pictures.....
Savor the Moment. It is the Everyday Moments that Make Life Meaningful.
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SueSume
Sleeping with a Serial Killer

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Posted: 4/30/2013 8:54:38 PM
Question: where are you all seeing Lola's LO?
Under her pea name I see "0" under Layouts...

Hook a girl up, pretty please?


*********Sue Who? *******


Reality is made up of words.-Ferdinando Buscema

Words are hard.-Hannah Kelly



NSBR: "We're like a big damn disfunctional family. We'll beat the crap out of each other, and it's ok, but dammit, if an outsider turns on one of ours, we circle the wagons." -Free~Bird
Used with permission & with 9% royality fee paid annually. Starting next year. Honest.

pcrfn
EncycloPEAdia

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Posted: 4/30/2013 8:55:42 PM
Well, she needs a whuppin'. I'm hoping that she was just having a horrible day and that she's apologized to you by now. You should scrap the way you want, the way that makes you happy. And your gifts were from the heart and that makes them beautiful. Maria

Kate-pea
PeaFixture

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Posted: 4/30/2013 9:04:06 PM
That is a crummy, hurtful thing to say. I am no great shakes as a scrapper, but boy, does it give me joy! I always say that it's a good thing I don't have to be good at it, I just have to like it. Hang on to your own joy, and don't let her bitterness embitter you - or your experience of scrapping.

Is it possible that your friend is either very young or very insecure? I mean that in all seriousness, and I ask because of my own experience...

I am a professional church musician, and when I was younger, it was my full-time job. It used to make me crazy when people would ask what I did, then when I told them, they'd say, "Oh, yeah, I sing in my church choir, too. How is it that you get PAID for that? Guess I should go to YOUR church! Ha ha ha..." I interpreted it that they thought anyone with your average choir-singer's skills could step in and do this job for which I had significant training and experience, not to mention responsibility.

With age and wisdom(?) has come much more equanimity. I no longer feel I have to justify my paycheck to those who don't "get it" - and I'm much more likely to just smile and say, "Yes, it's great to do God's work, isn't it!"

I could imagine your friend being fed up if scrappers have told her, "Oh, yes, I'm a graphic designer, too! See my scrapbook? Are there any openings at your company?". Especially if she's young and/or insecure, she might be overly sensitive.

Regardless of her situation, what she said was unnecessarily hurtful. Please continue to bring happiness to yourself and others through your scrapbooking!

Kaluha
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Posted: 4/30/2013 9:11:14 PM
I would not feel ashamed or embarrassed. You scrap for and your family. Don't let her harsh words get you down, she was way out of line to say that. Don't second guess your self and your hobby, everyone has different tastes, even when you look in the gallery here, everyone got their own way!

tinaev
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 4/30/2013 9:24:18 PM
I'm going to echo everyone else, that's horrible and no real friend would say anything like that.

I would encourage you to start posting some layouts here in the gallery, I know I would love to see them and I'm sure you'd get some great comments and encouragement.

nancyscrappin
PeaNut

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Posted: 4/30/2013 9:25:46 PM
Wouldn't call her a friend by any stretch-you should scrap because you enjoy it-who cares what she thinks? Hugs
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Madeline
Jeepers PEApers

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Posted: 4/30/2013 9:33:18 PM
Oh that is such a mean thing to say. She obviously knows nothing about why you scrapbook, nothing about the wonderful memories you are preserving and certainly nothing about the great fun you are having. Or else she does know and is extremely jealous. Please don't let her harsh and unsolicited criticism make you feel anything but proud of your pages.


Madeline
------------------------
My blog:
Paper Gumbo
Designing for:
Scraptastic Club
American Crafts

shirt
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 4/30/2013 9:36:19 PM
Wow! How rude! I agree with everyone else she is not a friend. If someone said something like that to me, I would be hurt, too.


- Renee

tampascrapper
trying to find my bliss. . . have you seen it?!?!?

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Posted: 4/30/2013 10:05:01 PM
I haven't read all the responses so I apologize if its been said already but the thing that I love most about art and to me scrapbooking is an art, is that everyone gets to decide for themselves if they like it. Everyone has different styles and thank god for that or think how boring it would be! As one poster said earlier, sometimes I end up with LO'S that I'm not even thrilled with but I still like them because their mine, I made them with love. Love for the people in the pictures, love of paper and all my scrappy goodness, love of how I feel when I'm scrapping and love of looking back on a LO or a mini album and know that I made that. I scrapbook for me and as long as I like the LO or finished project, that is all tht matters. I would have a hard time continuing a friendship with someone so rude and callus. She had to have know that it would hurt your feelings yet she said it anyway. Don't you dare let her or anyone take away your joy - joy of scrapping, joy of creating, joy of being you!

Your "friend" needs to be careful - here at two peas, we may fight amoungst ourselves but if someone else messes with one of us, we circle the wagon and protect our own. Your "friend" does not want to piss off of bunch of ladies armed with sizzors, adhesive and glitter. She would never be the same!

On a serious note, try to forget about what she said. Scrap what you want in a way that you like.


Margie

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.
- opening line of The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger by Stephen King

supertoni
PeaNut

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Posted: 4/30/2013 10:08:33 PM
I looked at some of your layouts, and I personally love them. Your friend doesn't sound very nice, ignore her, and enjoy your hobby. You are fabulous just as you and your scrappiness are!

mommamoonrn
PeaFixture

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Posted: 4/30/2013 10:15:00 PM
I feel bad for you. Sorry your friend was so brutally honest. My mom used to say " If you can't say something nice, do not say anything at all".

It is only her opinion. I would continue to scrapbook and I wouldn't care what she thought.

Even if I didn't like something someone else did, I found at least one positive thing to say about it. It is a shame she didn't find something to build you up and not tear you down.


Becky

The greatest gift of all was given at Christmastime....


myboysnme
one of those "entitled" peas

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Posted: 4/30/2013 10:15:33 PM

Well, I just looked at your pages and think they are great. I'm not just saying that either, they are really good.


Folks, she doesn't have any layouts posted - those are LIKED layouts - other people's work. I'm sure her layouts are fine, but you are attributing other people's work to the ones the graphic designer friend said were childish and repetitious.

At least 4 of the posters on this thread are complimenting her layouts and there aren't any. Susume, that's why you don't see any. It's not the Emperor's New Clothes - there really is nothing there to see!


My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
When someone elects you Queen of Two Peas, then you can make the rules. - Sue_Pea 12/22/13
"Myboysnme,...I bow down to you, oh queen of the scrapping goodness" - Irish Eyes 3/9/14









Mary Kay Lady
I'm thinking . . .

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Posted: 4/30/2013 10:32:07 PM

Scrapbooking as an art form. Your style is going to evolve over time. It will depend on your mood, the supplies available, the pictures you're working with, etc.

Consider the work of painters. Do you think that the work of Van Gough evolved over time? There are some people who love his work and others who can't stand it. It doesn't mean that his work is worthless. It just means that some people appreciate it and others don't.

In my opinion, your friend should have kept her opinion to herself. That was thoughtless and rude of her to critize your work.

That said, go scrapbook! Enjoy yourself. But don't share your work with this friend.


Ising
AncestralPea

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Posted: 4/30/2013 10:40:28 PM
That hurt my heart to read. wow.... How hurtful and rude. I'm sure she can't be a good friend because real friends don't tear each other down. I'm sure your work is just fine.


Andrea
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BuckeyeSandy
Old Dogs are Best!

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Posted: 4/30/2013 10:58:27 PM
Your "friend" is no friend...

BTW Five year olds can make some pretty good and amazing art,
Take it with less than a grain of salt and share no more with her.

Actually, drop her and spend more time with us. We are honest, but won't bash you.



Sandy
Every MOM is a working mom!
"Retired" after 22 years of an Air Force Career

REMEMBER this Veterans Day

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Aesculus

sassiescrapper
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 4/30/2013 11:04:18 PM
What a horrible thing to say and have to hear. I am so sorry. As so many other posters have said, graphic design and scrapbooking - completely different. You should not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Continue doing what you're doing - documenting and crafting and doing what you love. And I'm sure, recipients of your mini albums felt special and appreciated that you made something special just for them.

Sending you big hugs!


OLW 2013 - DO
"She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans." Kobi Yamada

Anne

Tam2
SaVeD bY GrAcE!

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Posted: 4/30/2013 11:45:12 PM
Wow! I'd say she's not a very good friend bc if she was, she'd encourage any hobby that you love. It's your own expression & vision & nobody else's!!!!!

Oh, honey, I really wish she had just kept her OPINIONS to herself!!!

{{hugs}}


Tami

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Philippians 4:8


Happily scrapbooking since 1996!
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Tam2
SaVeD bY GrAcE!

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Posted: 4/30/2013 11:47:39 PM
"All my friend's scrap differently... some may not be my style or my style may not be what they like but we would never say it was bad/childish or anything to put down another person's work"

Agreed! My two best friends scrapbook & their styles are completely different than mine, who cares! They are making it for their enjoyment.


Tami

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Philippians 4:8


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nomorelittlemonkeys
BucketHead

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Posted: 5/1/2013 12:15:18 AM
What a hurtful thing to say! I just peeked in your gallery, and your work is lovely! Please don't take her comments to heart. Apparently, she has no appreciation of scrapbooking, and lacks tact and kindness.

ScrapsontheRocks
BucketHead

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Posted: 5/1/2013 4:33:25 AM
I have not read all the replies (sorry, risky, etc). Do not want to read & run: your feelings are valid, but you have no need to STAY feeling as you have described & I am sure 99% of the Peas will have said this.

One of my biggest problems with this hobby? The self-appointed scrapbook police. This particular "Officer" is not even a scrapbooker? Pooh to her, more power to you. Scrap on!

pelirroja
PeaFixture

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Posted: 5/1/2013 4:35:48 AM
With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Scrap the way you like, tell your story and give those minis away. Trust me, your loved ones are reading the story, looking at the photos and enjoying the moments captured. They're not seeing the age of the papers, the details of the embellies or the fundamentals of the photography. They are looking at themselves and their celebrations, accomplishments, and activites.

I hope you are able to dust yourself off, ignore what she has said, and get back to scrapping and creating.


Pelly





LolaLayout
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 5/1/2013 5:59:31 AM
Thank you all for your kind words, and "being on my side" so to speak.

Yes, my friend isn't quite a friend at all, more an acquaintance that I feel I need to give space.

As to how she saw my album, she just flipped it open. It was sitting on the coffee table, and she stopped by to ask about a school trip both of our children will be taking soon. I hadn't offered it to her to look at, and was just as surprised as all of you when she criticized it. I tried to laugh it off, shrug my shoulders, and just kinda mumble, "Yeah, it's just a hobby," as I closed the book from her scrutiny and put it on a bookshelf as I was walking her back towards the front door to leave.

Looking back, maybe I wish I had said something about how rude she was, but it just caught me off guard, and I didn't want to make bad blood with someone who has a child that also goes to my child's small school.


And though I thank those that said my layouts were good, you must give all of your praise to the talented peas here that posted them in the gallery. I can only be credited with having good taste in "liking" their work that i am so inspired by. As others have stated, I haven't posted any layouts of my own.


Thank you again for all your good thoughts and support.



*Stop the glorification of busy*

miominmio
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Posted: 5/1/2013 6:21:04 AM
It's not you who should feel embarrassed and ashamed, but your "friend".

mamaofdudes
BucketHead

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Posted: 5/1/2013 6:59:29 AM
YOU shouldn't feel embarrassed and ashamed, SHE should feel embarrassed and ashamed!! That is n awful thing to say to anyone, and she needs to learn a little tact. Or just to shut her mouth. Unbelievable. »»hugs««



Penny_Lane
PeaNut

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Posted: 5/1/2013 7:44:25 AM
oh my goodness...what a "friend". the others have already said it all so well!

the one thing I still like to add is:

be brave and please post your work to the gallery here! there's nothing that helps more when you feel down about your work than really seeing others who like your stuff and/or comment on it! just go ahead!^^

best wishes and keep on scrapping

penny


My blog: Imagicallery

BEF2008
AncestralPea

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Posted: 5/1/2013 7:50:31 AM
I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt. There are some selfish and nasty people out there in the world, aren't there? <<< hugs>>>

I know it's a little cliche, but your works are works of HEART. You have obviously made them and given them with LOVE, and that alone makes them invaluable -- especially to the people that you love and love you.

Take pride in the fact that you are giving gifts from your heart and ignore people who are heartless. At the end of the day, what you do matters more than what she does.

luvmythree
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 5/1/2013 8:16:23 AM
I would love to see your layouts if you want to share.


Kirsten mom to~
Alexandria 20
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TeamSteve
Don't shop...Adopt.

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Posted: 5/1/2013 8:21:33 AM
Well that was just plain RUDE! What in the world did she feel she would gain from this other than hurting your feelings?

Not someone I would consider a friend.

PLEASE do the Peas a BIG favor and get your scrap on. We got your back. BIG HUGS.



___________________________________________________________

While we may never
know the pain or
struggles of a rescue dog
the love they show
is unlike any other...

SuPeaNatural
PeaAddict

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Posted: 5/1/2013 8:36:15 AM
Well, don't you just love these armchair experts? They sit back and make comments and judgements about someones work when they've never even done it themselves.

I heard a good comment about critics once, it went something like..."Critics, what do they know? Never listen to a person who's only contribution to the art is their opinon".

I agree with all the other comments - she's no friend. Keep scrapping in whatever style makes you happy, and keep this person at arms length in future. Don't let her undermine you confidence or ability.



ScrapbookBabe
PeaFixture

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Posted: 5/1/2013 9:04:29 AM
I would try not to make bad blood with her since your kids go to a small school, however, I would pull back on my dealing with her. I wouldn't want somebody that critical in my life. What's next...she doesn't like your decorating, your hair?

CoastalScrapper
PeaNut

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Posted: 5/1/2013 9:12:48 AM
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt


AngieandSnoopy
Michel's Mom ~ Sugar Plum's Mummie

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Posted: 5/1/2013 10:53:58 AM
Well, your "friend" wouldn't like my albums either. I like to have a consistency in color and theme so she'd think they were repetitive if not childish.

You have to consider the source, she is a rude, condescending person.


Angie ~ Snoopy, Amanda, Michel, Davy, Benji, & Onkita - my fur kids!
Red, Black & Tan, & Double Dapple mini Dachshund's! Is it Snoopy or Snoopea?
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AnniesPaperGarden
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Posted: 5/1/2013 11:12:14 AM
I'm sorry this woman made you feel bad.

I want to tell her: BE KIND OR BE QUIET!

Keep up the great work saving the memories your family is making.

tfsinga
PeaNut

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Posted: 5/1/2013 11:47:44 AM
Keep in mind that one person belittles another, they are only doing it to feel better about themselves. Never, ever feel embarrassed or ashamed about capturing your memories to share with others.

stefanyb123
BucketHead

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Posted: 5/1/2013 2:57:56 PM
Actually, I kind of feel sorry for your "friend". Can you imagine what kind of life she must live? For someone to be THAT rude in a situation like that, I can only imagine how bitter she must be inside. And she probably doesn't have many friends if this is how she treats people.

You, on the other hand, have your wonderful hobby and people in your life to make scrapbooks about. Let her be her miserable self, trying to spread misery all around, while you spread love and memories with your scrapbooks.

Hopefully, she will find a hobby as positive and fulfilling as scrapbooking, someday, and then she'll stop trying to make people feel as bad as she does.

And, really, her opinion (and thats all it was) wouldn't matter very much to me. She's probably insecure about her own design skills, and thinks it makes her look better by trying to make you look bad. Kind of like in high school, when one pretty girl will feel jealous of another pretty girl, so she goes around insulting and putting her down.

That's what it really sounds like to me.


Canon 40d, Canon 50mm 1.8, Canon 70-300, Sigma 28-75

3Heartwings
PeaNut

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Posted: 5/1/2013 3:36:34 PM
I haven't read all the comments but I bet she is talented and professional but hasn't taken the time to do anything like you have for her child or her family so the green monster rared it's ugly head and it made her feel better to tear down your books.

Keep it up. Your children will be thankful and if you love it who cares. and if her child invites your child to a birthday party, make the child a mini album.

luneniege
PeaWee

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Posted: 5/1/2013 4:28:39 PM

I was a graphic designer professionally for years and I struggle with 12x12 layouts. To me they are two different art forms and your "friend" is critiquing your work as if they are the same thing.

Plus she sounds incredibly rude.

You make art with love in it and it is beautiful ans makes you happy. Please continue to craft and enjoy it.

Hugs
Laurel



looser
The Craft Curmudgeon

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Posted: 5/1/2013 4:57:58 PM
Lola. I hope you will get past feeling embarassed & ashamed. And I can appreciate your desire for an 'ear'. That said?

Obviously your friend had access to your work or she would not have been able to criticize it.

While the majority of posts to your thread have 'piled on' your friend, I am not prepared to join in without knowing more about the circumstances that led to her sharing such a ruthless response on her part.

Some posters have noted that you have nothing of your work available for us to see & enjoy. That's your choice & I respect it. I don't need to see what you do, but bet I'd enjoy seeing you step out & share with the rest of us Peas.

That said? I'm not going to 'dis' your friend based only on what you have shared thus far.

I hope you will come back & post to your thread. I also hope you will post that you & your friend have discussed this matter.


Daniel R. Boone

SuzastampinCTMH
AncestralPea

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Posted: 5/1/2013 6:30:52 PM
I'm so sorry she said that to you. With friends like her, who needs enemies? She was extremely rude! I'd be interested in seeing her pages if she scrapbooks. Just because she's a graphic designer, it doesn't make her an authority on all things art.



*Cecilia*
baseball is love.

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Posted: 5/1/2013 10:25:13 PM
I am so sorry your friend said that to you. I agree with what another pea said. I think she said that to make herself feel better.

I say keep on scrapbooking. We all do it to enjoy it. Feel free to jump in more here. We all share your passion for scrapping.


_______________________________
formerly alwaysa4hmember
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mandalika
AlienGreenPea

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Posted: 5/1/2013 11:32:08 PM
This makes me so mad!!!! Don't let this person ruin your hobby for you - who died and made her queen of the crafters?! If it is something you love and it makes you happy keep doing it.



SueSume
Sleeping with a Serial Killer

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Posted: 5/1/2013 11:33:48 PM

At least 4 of the posters on this thread are complimenting her layouts and there aren't any. Susume, that's why you don't see any. It's not the Emperor's New Clothes - there really is nothing there to see!


Whew! Thanks, I thought my super secret decoder ring was broken...



Lola
Scrap for *you*,
scrap for your family.
Everything else is just noise.


*********Sue Who? *******


Reality is made up of words.-Ferdinando Buscema

Words are hard.-Hannah Kelly



NSBR: "We're like a big damn disfunctional family. We'll beat the crap out of each other, and it's ok, but dammit, if an outsider turns on one of ours, we circle the wagons." -Free~Bird
Used with permission & with 9% royality fee paid annually. Starting next year. Honest.

julieberg
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 5/2/2013 12:09:22 AM


I go on scrapping weekends with a friend who does very basic layouts. She doesn't like anything with bulk, etc in her layouts. I'm pretty detailed, my sister is semi-detailed, etc. There are 6=7 of us there and we all scrap differently. My friend who scraps "basic" is always so proud of her layouts and she should be - they are great.

What I want to say is - to each their own. Scrapping is about capturing the moment - not who has the most crap on their page.

GAKropper
Half Way There!

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Posted: 5/2/2013 9:06:53 AM
Ditto what everyone else said. Ignore her unsolicited opinion and do what you enjoy! And remember, just because she gets paid as graphic designer doesn't mean she has the market on artistic expression.

myboysnme
one of those "entitled" peas

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February 2003
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Posted: 5/2/2013 9:08:29 AM
This link has a great cartoon about this topic that I thought some might enjoy

link


My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
When someone elects you Queen of Two Peas, then you can make the rules. - Sue_Pea 12/22/13
"Myboysnme,...I bow down to you, oh queen of the scrapping goodness" - Irish Eyes 3/9/14









alone_inacrowdedroom
What are you looking at?

PeaNut 477,798
August 2010
Posts: 1,540
Layouts: 49

Posted: 5/2/2013 10:01:32 AM
Great cartoon, @myboysnme! So true!



Marylandscrapper
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 96,729
July 2003
Posts: 2,272
Layouts: 0
Loc: Maryland

Posted: 5/2/2013 4:03:54 PM
I'm sorry that this so-called friend was so rude and unkind. Scrap the way you want to, and do it for yourself.

There's room for everyone in scrapping, whatever their style.

leftturnonly
Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.

PeaNut 416,788
March 2009
Posts: 22,083
Layouts: 0
Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.

Posted: 5/2/2013 10:21:10 PM

As to how she saw my album, she just flipped it open. It was sitting on the coffee table, and she stopped by to ask about a school trip both of our children will be taking soon. I hadn't offered it to her to look at, and was just as surprised as all of you when she criticized it. I tried to laugh it off, shrug my shoulders, and and put it on a bookshelf as I was walking her back towards just kinda mumble, "Yeah, it's just a hobby," as I closed the book from her scrutiny the front door to leave.

Looking back, maybe I wish I had said something about how rude she was, but it just caught me off guard, and I didn't want to make bad blood with someone who has a child that also goes to my child's small school.


And though I thank those that said my layouts were good, you must give all of your praise to the talented peas here that posted them in the gallery. I can only be credited with having good taste in "liking" their work that i am so inspired by. As others have stated, I haven't posted any layouts of my own.



Oops! So sorry. I thought those were your layouts. Totally missed they were your likes.


This person was incredibly rude to you in your own home for absolutely no reason. Completely inexcusable!

For being caught so off-guard, it sounds like you handled yourself well.







If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.


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