How many kids did you dream of having?

Two Peas is Closing
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Posted 6/20/2013 by needtherapea in NSBR Board
< 1 2 3 >

Not so clever.

PeaNut 161,666
August 2004
Posts: 5,674
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Loc: Chicago

Posted: 6/20/2013 11:12:12 PM
I thought I might like to have one. I ended up not having any. I'm okay with that.




PeaNut 438,682
September 2009
Posts: 2,989
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/20/2013 11:14:10 PM
Growing up I wanted 4. After marriage we wanted 2 with an option on a third. After much heartache, prayers, medical intervention, 1 miscarriage and 2 rounds of bedrest we have been blessed with 2 little girls.

I'd go for a third if I thought we could get another baby here safely, but that seems rather risky. Now if the stork would just leave one on my doorstep I'd happily take it.


PeaNut 16,260
June 2001
Posts: 6,819
Layouts: 47
Loc: The Frozen Land of Alaska

Posted: 6/20/2013 11:19:15 PM
We wanted 2 a boy and a girl. We have 3 two girls and a boy. We thought we were done after the girls. HA! A week before dh went in for a vasectomy we found out I was pregnant! The girls were 10 & 8 at the time.
Sometimes I wish we had had one more because ds is like an only child.


Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 452,048
January 2010
Posts: 6,190
Layouts: 9
Loc: Indiana

Posted: 6/20/2013 11:30:50 PM
When I was a teen, 0. After I got married, 2. It didn't matter to me boy/girl. I just wanted healthy, happy babies. I have 3 beautiful dd's.


Mary Kay Lady
I'm thinking . . .

PeaNut 367,913
March 2008
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Loc: The state of Confusion!

Posted: 6/20/2013 11:38:48 PM

I wanted 3 but had 2. After DS #2 was born I felt like our family was complete.


PeaNut 5,023
June 2000
Posts: 1,124
Layouts: 0
Loc: Cleve, Ohio

Posted: 6/20/2013 11:53:45 PM
I wanted a lot. I grew up in a family of 4 and wanted more. Ended up with 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Most of the time, life is great.

sunny 5

PeaNut 472,024
June 2010
Posts: 3,280
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/20/2013 11:58:00 PM
I wanted 4. we had one boy and then twin girls. and statistically, I had a 25% chance of twins with next pregnancy...3 kids was enough for our two bedroom house. so we made our house a 3 bedroom ..and am glad we don't have more. we have the only grandkids for my inlaws...

wasabi pea

PeaNut 53,541
October 2002
Posts: 2,783
Layouts: 212
Loc: Phoenix, AZ

Posted: 6/21/2013 12:01:40 AM
4....and all 4 were going to be boys!!! Haha! I have 2 wonderful girls.

Shameless Husker Fan

PeaNut 49,249
September 2002
Posts: 49,515
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Loc: Husker Nation

Posted: 6/21/2013 12:04:51 AM
I never dreamed of having kids. I can't remember ever wanting them. Dh and I are both from large families. He wanted 5 and I wanted 3. We have 4. He was done after 3, but I wanted one more. We ended up with 2 boys and 2 girls.


Texan Peain In Minnesota

PeaNut 106,301
September 2003
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Loc: Boonies , Minnesota( Proud Texan From The Rio Grande Valley)

Posted: 6/21/2013 12:09:52 AM
I wanted 4 children but after having miscarriages and infertility problems I am happy we have our boy and our girl. Even though they are 9 1/2 years apart I won't change it for the world.


PeaNut 132,835
February 2004
Posts: 1,385
Layouts: 6
Loc: Norway

Posted: 6/21/2013 12:34:04 AM
I come from a family with two children, and always wanted two myself, a boy and a girl.

I got my wish, and have a son and a daughter

Deigh PEA
G'ma to five adorable grandkids!

PeaNut 124,219
January 2004
Posts: 7,338
Layouts: 0
Loc: Louisiana

Posted: 6/21/2013 1:10:59 AM
After the first one and all the pain I went through for two days, I swore I wouldn't have another baby. Originally I had wanted two---a boy and a girl. I ended up with four.

Don't worry about the people in your past; there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Facebook is like jail. You sit around all day wasting time, writing on walls and if your not careful you'll get poked.


PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
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Loc: England UK

Posted: 6/21/2013 2:00:31 AM
Wanted 2 and I have 2. Dh would have liked 3 but he didn't have the final say, I did

Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


PeaNut 188,256
January 2005
Posts: 898
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northern New Jersey

Posted: 6/21/2013 2:53:36 AM
DH and I wanted 5 when we were first married. We had 4 within 5 years and never had the last baby but not for the lack of trying. We are blessed with the four, 2 girls and 2 boys.

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M in Carolina
nothing could be finer than to be back in Carolina

PeaNut 226,467
October 2005
Posts: 10,866
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Loc: RTP

Posted: 6/21/2013 3:25:45 AM
I never dreamed about having children. I was a tomboy until I met dh in high school and put a bit of effort into dressing up occasionally for dates and formal events.

I also was diagnosed with severe heart issues at 18 and was told that pregnancy would mess up my heart and probably kill me.

I told dh that, and he assured me that he wanted to marry me for *me* and a family of two was ok with him. The inlaws had to adjust to the idea of no grandchildren -- dh is the youngest, and eldest sister also had problems plus older brother wasn't close to getting married and both were pushing 35. Dh informed them he wasn't getting married for a brood mare, but because I was his best friend and love of his life.

When older brother got married a few years after we did and had a son then a daughter that had him wrapped around her little finger before she was even born, I saw how much in love he was. I wish I could have given that to dh--he would have been an excellent father. My father and I were super close, and I wanted that for dh.

I had a horrific time trying to find someone to do my hysterectomy, even though I had precancerous tissue. The fact that I was in my late 20s but hadn't had any children made everyone balk--even with the reports from my cardiac specialists at U of M and the leading neonatologist in Chicago. The doctors even admitted that they wouldn't have a second thought about allowing a man to get a V in his early twenties, but I, as a woman, "might change my mind" and should wait until my mid 30s. --my biological mother died at 42 from uterine cancer.

I finally had the hysterectomy and also hemorrhaged after. My heart rate went up into the 200s and could only be brought down to the 180s where it stayed for almost 24 hrs. The heart doctors at the university hospital where I had the hysterectomy thought I was going to have a heart attack and permanent heart damage. I was ok, but my GYN surgeon said she now got why all my specialists said pregnancy would be too dangerous for me.

Dh and I are happy by ourselves. We have a great life. I did mourn a bit when the finality of not ever being a mother sunk in. My dad helped me feel so much better-- my dreams were different than a lot of women's, so not having children wasn't crushing my greatest dream PLUS not everyone has the close relationship that dh and I have and we're happy with just each other.

At one time dh and I thought we'd adopt, but my health isn't good enough, and I just don't have the day to day stamina to care for a child.

The one thing that really bothers me is people, like the Duggars, who say children are God's greatest gift, so those women who don't have children must have done something awful to have that gift taken away. I'm happy. God has blessed me. He knows I couldn't take care of a child and that I would feel guilty for not being able to do all the things a healthy mom could do. It still enrages me that strangers decide that there's something wrong with me. Dh and I have left several churches over their judgement of women like me.


PeaNut 494,958
January 2011
Posts: 1,303
Layouts: 8
Loc: Cork Ireland

Posted: 6/21/2013 4:32:43 AM
I never wanted children, heck I couldn't even stand to play with dolls when I was little!! Then I went in to child care as a profession and while I enjoyed looking after other peoples children I still never wanted any of my own. I've just never felt that urge to start popping out babies. I love my child free life and not having a child is not something I regret.

I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear.


PeaNut 113,205
October 2003
Posts: 12
Layouts: 1

Posted: 6/21/2013 4:47:37 AM
I always always wanted a large family. I wanted 7, 8 or 9 children, and I have seven - 4 girls and 3 boys. Even though I'm a sole parent now, I wouldn't change a thing


PeaNut 42,673
July 2002
Posts: 164
Layouts: 3
Loc: Maine

Posted: 6/21/2013 6:03:54 AM
3 or 4 was my plan.
I have 2 girls and a 1 boy. We are done. They are all I dreamed of and our family is complete.

PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.

PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 13,477
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!

Posted: 6/21/2013 6:05:24 AM
I always imagined a rainbow of about 6 kids through fostering or adoption. I have my two beautiful sons, and have had about 10 others with me throughout the past 13 years. It's good.
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Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 302,969
March 2007
Posts: 5,301
Layouts: 1
Loc: participating in WWR and RAA

Posted: 6/21/2013 6:28:09 AM
When DH and I were dating, we agreed that 3 seemed good. As we went a
long, the time never seemed right for starting that family so as we were approaching 40, we started to settle into the idea that we may never have kids.

Then we had our wonderful surprise. DD was born a few months after I turned 40. We are really happy with her and I now feel like one is plenty. I sometimes think that, if we had started earlier, I might have liked having another child but I am absolutely happy with one.

Hey! Where's my theme music?!?

Proudly Canadian

PeaNut 43,061
July 2002
Posts: 33,591
Layouts: 2

Posted: 6/21/2013 6:30:05 AM
Zero. The thought of actually having children is not something I've ever considered. I have had a reoccuring nightmare of having identical quintuplets.

100% Fluffy

PeaNut 16,004
May 2001
Posts: 5,314
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/21/2013 6:57:02 AM
Another one who honestly never envisioned myself as a mother. I'm kind of gratified to see a number of other Peas expressing the same feelings, because it's hard sometimes not to feel very unusual in this regard. I don't have any children, and the miniscule amount of maternal instinct that I have is satisfied by pampering my cats.



"I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize,
I don't care." Dave Barry

Pride of the Peas

PeaNut 25,575
December 2001
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Layouts: 45
Loc: Stuck in the Middle With You

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:24:41 AM

I may never ever get over my newborn envy though. I could have a million babies, I just don't want that many KIDS.

This is me, exactly. I love babies. They are bits of heaven, even with diapers in need of changing. But the kid part is exhausting. Mine range from 11-18 and they are great kids, but raising them is expensive and I'm tired from activities and the day to day.

I didn't dream of how many kids I wanted. I nannied for four in college and wanted even numbers so it wasn't 2 against 1. We have four.

Proud Wife and Mom to four big goons!
I cannot be old enough to have three teens and a tween.

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially formed you to
go through it, not without pain but without stain.
-- C. S. Lewis

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PeaNut 346,721
November 2007
Posts: 185
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:35:39 AM
I always thought it would be great to have 2 a boy then a girl. Growing up I was a middle between my two sisters I knew I did not want a middle child and I always wanted a big brother.

DH always only wanted 1 and he wanted a boy.

Very thankful for the way it ended up with 2 boys that are best friends - hoping it continues as the oldest starts High School.


PeaNut 179,915
December 2004
Posts: 4,133
Layouts: 81
Loc: Wisconsin

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:36:56 AM
I always envisioned having 2 or 3, but it wasn't in the cards for us, apparently. I would have been happy with one, but sadly we have none.

Lost and Found in Pea-land

PeaNut 138,098
March 2004
Posts: 6,558
Layouts: 2
Loc: NC but wishing I was somewhere else

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:37:51 AM
I wanted 4 kids...two boys and two girls.

We have 4 kids...two boys and two girls.

People not perfection

PeaNut 35,457
April 2002
Posts: 30,024
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right where I should be

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:39:53 AM
I wanted 2-4 and I had 3 boys. 3 miscarriages too.

No matter where you go, there you are!

PeaNut 421,136
April 2009
Posts: 5,255
Layouts: 8
Loc: Chicago NW burbs

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:47:48 AM

None, and I'm living my dream!

I'm with you on that one! I found out later that I could not have children and I have no feelings of "what if" or regrets or anything.


PeaNut 351,443
December 2007
Posts: 547
Layouts: 0
Loc: Michigan

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:49:44 AM
Growing up I wanted 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls). I have 3, all girls. Being that I work outside of the home, I think 3 is probably my limit. I am sure I would be putting my husband in the loony bin if we had a 4th girl, LOL. Sometimes I feel like there is one missing but really our time is already spread thin. It wouldn't be fair to bring another child into the mix.

DH - Rich (10/97)
Mackenzie 7/00
Alexandria 8/03
Gabriella 11/06


PeaNut 467,201
May 2010
Posts: 1,387
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Loc: Where the Army sends us

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:51:22 AM
Wanted at least 4 and had my first when I was 18.

Miscarried 2 times, and then we just seemed to not be able to stay pregnant.

Fast forward to 2009 when I randomly became pregnant on BC...and had this beautiful daughter. I have a 15 year old and a 4 year old...and I adore them. I am 33, and would love a few more...but Ava is on the spectrum and sometimes it can be a challenge. Plus an almost college me being on the track for Nursing. I am done. My DH loves kids, and would welcome a few more...but I think he is in agreement with me. LOL!

{{{My siggy is gone now...due to the crazies that want to be crazy.}}}

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 87,597
May 2003
Posts: 11,075
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:55:20 AM
I wanted at least 5 and have 3. My husband had to be talked into having three.

I also always thought I would have boys. I have three girls. I think 3 girls and 3 boys would be perfect!

I think my husband is more worried about the cost of so many kids. We want to be able to pay for their entire college education and that is why we haven't had more.

It is pretty easy when they are newborns and toddlers, up to when they start school. Once they start school, the schedule is crazy! Once the youngest started school, we were rushing to activities every night. You have no time to yourself in the evenings. And the money you spend!!

I think 5 kids between the ages of newborn to 6 wouldn't be bad for me. But when they are 8-14, I would probably have to hire a driver to help shuttle them around!!

When does football season start?

PeaNut 182,623
December 2004
Posts: 7,038
Layouts: 0
Loc: USA

Posted: 6/21/2013 7:57:23 AM
I wanted 3 or 4 but only ended up with 1. I'm over 40 and while my equipment is still intact, Dh's is not. He'll be 50 next month.

Best Cat Evahhh!

PeaNut 18,741
July 2001
Posts: 14,109
Layouts: 200
Loc: Maryland

Posted: 6/21/2013 8:02:43 AM
I wanted 4 or more. But reality (both money and medical) limited us to 2 and I'm glad now, though that took many years to get to.


Reading, writing, running pea

PeaNut 59,875
December 2002
Posts: 5,651
Layouts: 20

Posted: 6/21/2013 8:04:16 AM
I remember thinking when I was a kid that I wanted six children.

But when I was almost 10, my mom gave birth to my sister. 17 months later, I got another sister. 18 months after that, my baby brother was born.

When I was 13, my mother got a full-time job for her sanity. My dad had a full-time job, as well as his own business. I ended up doing a LOT of babysitting for my younger siblings (I also have a brother who is 2 years older than me).

I went from wanting six kids of my own someday to wanting NONE.

By the time I was about 18 and no longer babysitting, I decided maybe I would have a child someday.

My husband and I have one daughter and our family size is perfect for us. She is 20 now and I am 42, so we are definitely done (made sure of it about 7 years ago, lol).


ScraPEA Suzy the Purr-ple Pea

PeaNut 67,643
February 2003
Posts: 16,809
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Loc: Peachtree City, GA

Posted: 6/21/2013 8:16:23 AM
Dh and I both thought 6 would be a good number. We would have them a 3-5 years apart.

We ended up having 4 in 6.5 years. The last two were preemies. And with the last baby, I spent 10 weeks on bedrest before she was born 8 weeks early.

So we decided 4 was it for awhile, but thought we would adopt 1-2 more when the youngest was 10. When she was 8, I brought that back up to my dh, and he looked at me like I had grown another head. His exact words: "Are you CRAZY? We just got new carpet because they finally stopped puking all over it!"

So we were done. And I'm glad. Just as the last one was getting ready to graduate from high school, we started the whole grandparent thing (even as friends of ours were still having babies!)



PeaNut 184,116
January 2005
Posts: 2,546
Layouts: 78
Loc: Nevada

Posted: 6/21/2013 8:22:17 AM
I dream of four. I'm 7 months prego with number 3 (3 in 3 years!)

Hubby said we are done but I think I can still talk him into it

<3 Brandy

Visit my websites:

Have a {stache}tastic day!
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PeaNut 80,720
April 2003
Posts: 3,470
Layouts: 4
Loc: Cleveland

Posted: 6/21/2013 8:25:55 AM

When I was young I wanted 4. But I didn't get married until I was 30 so I wanted 2. BUT Dh had 3 kids from a prior marriage and I needed fertility help. We did have one and I'm thankful. I only wish I would've let go of the desire for the second one earlier.



PeaNut 315,763
May 2007
Posts: 2,078
Layouts: 3

Posted: 6/21/2013 8:27:20 AM

We have an only.
Meg is a blessing.
I have no clue what our future holds as to another child.
DH wants one more still. I think that I'm done.
I suppose "its complicated" about covers it.

~ "It takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing, 8 weeks for your friends and 12 weeks for the rest of the world. Give it 12 weeks. Don't quit." ~


PeaNut 223,222
September 2005
Posts: 2,894
Layouts: 47
Loc: Kansas

Posted: 6/21/2013 8:46:45 AM
I wanted 4 or 5? I have 3, the last pregnancy was tough and I had a 29.5 wkr so dr said no more. I just became a gma 3 wks ago so that helps!

Kirsten mom to~
Alexandria 20
Ethan 10
Owen 8 CFC syndrome,cp 29.5 wk preemie
Expecting my first grandbaby May 2013!
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PeaNut 275,594
September 2006
Posts: 3,447
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/21/2013 8:48:33 AM
Growing up I always said "no kids but I may get married someday".

Once married we both always said zero. We were married forever (13 years) and then decided that we/our home needed the pitter patter of little feet.

We have 2.


PeaNut 315,499
May 2007
Posts: 2,854
Layouts: 3
Loc: Midwest

Posted: 6/21/2013 9:02:05 AM

I could have a million babies, I just don't want that many KIDS.

Love this, and totally agree.

I don't remember wanting any kids growing up, but we have 2 and i was ok with that until I found myself unexpectedly pregnant with number 3 last summer. Just when I was feeling ok with another newborn in the house I m/c at 12 weeks. At that point DH had had a V, and was totally done. I however, find myself wistful for another baby, just not another kid lol.


PeaNut 64,634
January 2003
Posts: 4,852
Layouts: 36
Loc: Lost in my supplies!

Posted: 6/21/2013 9:10:53 AM
I wanted 2. A boy, then a girl. That's what I got

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PeaNut 327,283
July 2007
Posts: 1,575
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/21/2013 10:18:32 AM
i wanted 5 or 6. we have 1. the joke is she partied like a rock star then trashed the place on the way out. we are happy with what we have.



PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 1,056
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY

Posted: 6/21/2013 10:22:25 AM
I wanted 3 but have 2 with no plans for more.


PeaNut 568,351
October 2012
Posts: 1,593
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/21/2013 10:22:46 AM
We wanted 2 and I have 2. As my kids got older, I started to think maybe I wanted more kids but it was too late. What's nice is that SO has 3 kids that we have 1/3 of the time and it's nice to have more kids around in addition to my 2.


PeaNut 529,899
November 2011
Posts: 316
Layouts: 0

Posted: 6/21/2013 10:36:49 AM
interesting topic...

When I was 16, I probably wanted 5. When I was 23 I think I wanted 3. Now that I am 30, I want 0. Quite a journey in being my authentic self. Realizing I don't want children of my own, but I am a mother to everyone. I am especially close to my nephew and an auntie to friends' kids. I am good with that.

My heart goes out to those who are trying to have kids and can't. Have seen it up close and imagine how hard it must be.

Proud Pea-lice Wife!

PeaNut 41,743
July 2002
Posts: 8,609
Layouts: 3

Posted: 6/21/2013 10:40:34 AM
When I was younger I wanted 3. I have two.

My Etsy: Camera Straps, Crayon Wallets and More Turtle Taylor Etsy

PEAing entirely too much!

PeaNut 182,236
December 2004
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Layouts: 6
Loc: Here and There, well...mostly There!

Posted: 6/21/2013 10:44:09 AM
I wanted 4 because I wanted more than 2 but not 3 since I was that middle kid.


Super Soda

PeaNut 269,431
July 2006
Posts: 892
Layouts: 6

Posted: 6/21/2013 11:21:02 AM
I never wanted kids, but I have 3. The first one was unintentional, but she turned out to be a pretty awesome accident.

We decided she needed a playmate and planned for #2. But #2 mutated into twins and so we ended up with 3. So #3 is a pretty awesome freak of nature.

There will definitely not be any more.

On a related note, we were teasing the (identical) twins about being mutants the other day and one asked if she could join the X-men since she's a mutant. Older sis asked "What's your power?" Twin responded, "Duh, duplication."

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PeaNut 120,889
December 2003
Posts: 1,817
Layouts: 5
Loc: Indiana

Posted: 6/21/2013 11:33:55 AM
When I was a kid I wanted 6 - like the Brady Bunch.

I'm happy with the 3 awesome kids I have & cannot fathom trying to balance the schedule of another active kiddo, even though we thought about a fourth for a short while.

I still love the idea of a big family.

The Family Stone is one of my favorite modern Christmas movies. And I watch that mom & dad celebrating Christmas with their 5 adult kids coming home for the holidays & I'm just like...aww, we could've done it...we could've had one more!

And then I get a request for lunch money, or a car pool email, or realize that unless I clone myself there is no way to get child a to music lessons, child b to soccer and child c to gymnastics because they've all fallen at the same time on the same night.

And then I'm like, 3 is okay. 3 is good. Just the right amount of survivable impossibility for me.

One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes. (the little prince)
Mom to 3 great kids!
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