What about when you are mad?

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Posted 8/24/2013 by corej in General Scrappin'
 

corej
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Posted: 8/24/2013 8:56:25 AM
And you want to scrapbook. So you pick up a photo of the child (or person) that you are upset with. Do you go ahead and scrapbook it and try to put your upsetness aside? Or do you just scrapbook someone else and come back to that person when you have let it go?

I have taken breaks from scrapbooking one of my girls for awhile when they have been going through an ugly phase. Am I the only one?

MariClaudi
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Posted: 8/24/2013 8:59:48 AM
I can NEVER scrap when I am mad. I clean instead.


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JenGallacher
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Posted: 8/24/2013 9:03:58 AM
The "Angry Scrapbooker": hmmm. I don't think I've ever been able to be creative when I was mad. Now sad is another story. Sometimes that helps me overcome my sad feelings.


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corej
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Posted: 8/24/2013 9:07:24 AM
Cleaning is a good idea.

What about when in general though you are annoyed with your kid or hubby or someone. So it is not like an event that makes you mad but more a not so great phase in your relationship. Like your teen is being a teen. Sort of argumentative and really moody and maybe not so honest. So not an event, just them and your nerves have had it. So you are not walking around all mad, but maybe not gushing the love either. Does this make sense?

HoneyBee13
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Posted: 8/24/2013 9:13:28 AM
I think what your saying makes total sense.
I can scrap pics of my DH when I am mad at him because I am scrapping pics of when we were on vacation and he was kind and caring, not what he is right now. The pics help me to remember the kinder gentler him.
For the most part I am really good at ignoring. But I dont have kids, so I am only ignoring 1 person
I scrapbook so that when I am old I can look at my scrapbooks and look at my life, and hopefully remember it.

Peapod in Oz
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Posted: 8/24/2013 9:38:05 AM
I rarely scrap when I am mad. I clean!
























SnappyScrappy
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Posted: 8/24/2013 9:41:15 AM
That is a great question! I know when either my son or daughter is going through a particularly "ugly stage", I have thought to myself, "I don't want to scrap any pictures of you!" If, whoever is being ugly, is the next child to be scrapped, I may put them aside and scrap the other one! But then there have also been times when I have forged ahead and the pictures have helped me to remember "sweeter" times!!!! I guess maybe it depends on just how "ugly" they are being!!!


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aliwinn
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Posted: 8/24/2013 10:16:30 AM
I understand what you mean....Ive gone through tough times with DH.
I usually don't scrap him when Im not happy about it....I choose something else to scrap instead.....I just cant feel good about a page if Im unhappy about the relationship.


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Miglets
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Posted: 8/24/2013 10:38:04 AM
Havin' one of those times today! DS, 17 is not at the top of my list, but I'm trying to finish up the pics from his 8th grade trip to Washington, DC and really want to get those done.

I actually am finding it is bringing back memories of a time when he was also going through a transitional stage. It helps remind me that this too, shall pass.

I don't, however, recommend scrapping pics of when they were cute babies & toddlers. It has the opposite effect - it reminds you of what is gone and will never be again. Stay away!




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wm_momof3
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Posted: 8/24/2013 11:02:26 AM
Great question! It depends on the situation and how upset I am as to whether I go ahead and scrap stuff about that person. Usually, if it's just something like a tough phase that person is going through (like clashing with my teen when she's being a stubborn/angst-filled/whatever teen) then scrapping something from a happier time with her actually helps me remember the good and get to a better place with her. It allows me the time to step away and get some perspective. But if it's something really big that we need some time to work out a solution for, then I can't usually scrap that person until we've solved it. So, like others, I clean, or do something else constructive to work through it instead of trying to force the creativity at those times.

I do have a similar situation I've struggled with but it's slightly different from what I think you're describing. I have one particular vacation I'm about halfway through scrapping where something happened at that point in the trip that pretty much changed the entire mood of the vacation. It went from fun and carefree to some serious issues with a child (again, a teen - go figure! different teen from the above though). The result is that I've set that whole project aside and have sort of a mental block against picking it back up to scrap the rest of the trip. It's like even picking up those pictures bring back the memories and they're NOT GOOD...I think I even know how I want to do the LOs but I can't bring myself to actually put them on the page, ugh!

onescrappygirl
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Posted: 8/24/2013 11:35:02 AM
This one made me think. I've noticed that I clean/purge when my dh & I are at odds. But by doing this I've learned to put things in a donate box & go through them when I've calmed down so I can decide if the items are something that I really wanted to get rid of or were just thrown in in my anger.

If it's my kids who I'm having issues with I usually make cards or scrap non-personal relationship topics (what's in my purse/foods/flowers/nature). When things mellow out I might make a page about the child in question and make a subtle reference in the journaling to "things have been tough, but we'll get through it/I love you" layout.

Bottom line, I need to do something creative no matter the issue or how small the project is because scrapping is my stress release.


CJ

Momma_Paparazzi
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Posted: 8/24/2013 12:24:20 PM
It is a good question. When I am really angry, I can't scrap at all. Cleaning is a good solution, and I do that too. When I am frustrated with one of my kids, I don't make pages with photos of them either. I will find something else. But then, there are times where scrapping is my therapy.

Example. I have always had a crappy relationship with my mother. A handful of years ago, it went from bad to worse and now we don't speak (her choice). When that all broke out, scrapbooking was my stress release, my escape. I made all kinds of pages focusing on my family.. the one I made when my husband and I got married and had our kids.

Lisaj873
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Posted: 8/24/2013 12:30:55 PM

What about when in general though you are annoyed with your kid or hubby or someone. So it is not like an event that makes you mad but more a not so great phase in your relationship. Like your teen is being a teen. Sort of argumentative and really moody and maybe not so honest. So not an event, just them and your nerves have had it. So you are not walking around all mad, but maybe not gushing the love either. Does this make sense?


If you still want to scrap maybe this would be a good time to do some private journaling to them about your feelings related to the way they are acting. For instance, if it is your teen you could do some journaling about the stage they are going through and about how it is tough for the both of you and write them a little message so to how you hope things go in the future or what your goals are for them etc. Or just write about your anger in genral as you are scrapbooking and then decide whether it is something you want them to see later or not.

Keianna
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Posted: 8/24/2013 12:38:08 PM
Great question. I have tried but can't scrap angry. I clean, organize, work on a non personal project or surf scrap sites.



NativeNewYorker
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Posted: 8/24/2013 2:03:23 PM
I can scrap when I am sad, but not when I'm mad.


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Rumplesnat
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Posted: 8/24/2013 6:02:41 PM
I have definitely *oops* over cropped folks out of photos when I have been mad. Often.

tinaev
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Posted: 8/24/2013 6:05:08 PM
I've created some of my best layouts when I'm ticked off. It sort of channels all of that energy. I just can't work on layouts including pictures of the people that are the subject of my wrath at that time.

NoWomanNoCry
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Posted: 8/24/2013 6:15:17 PM
Well I don't have kids but I'm married and when I'm mad at my husband anything that relates to him and my scrappy don't see the light of day but when we make up my work right after tends to be more...thoughtful I guess you could say.


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Simply_Lovely
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Posted: 8/24/2013 7:17:37 PM
I would either scrap something else or make a page about the situation.
However, I have been following your blog for a while and I know the types of layouts you do and most of them are not about the events but about your girls. So I don't know what to suggest to you other than to scrap the good, bad and the ugly. Or to wait until the phase passes and she returns to the land of humans again.




Meow!

JannyGirl
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Posted: 8/24/2013 10:48:33 PM
I don't scrapbook when I'm angry or sad. I work in my art journal instead and express my feelings that way. Sometimes I write words and phrases, and sometimes I write a whole page. It definitely helps.



Mallie
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Posted: 8/24/2013 10:58:49 PM
I think I know what you mean. A few years ago, I went on a vacation with some friends. I got about half way through scrapping the trip -- which was a blast -- when I found out that one of those friends was not a real friend to any of us. At all. The revelation was painful, the loss of the friendship was painful and the pain colored my memories. I haven't been able to finish that scrapbook yet.

TracieClaiborne
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Posted: 8/25/2013 1:37:59 AM

I have taken breaks from scrapbooking one of my girls for awhile when they have been going through an ugly phase.

ha! So glad to know someone else's kid goes through an "ugly phase." Mine is about perfect 98% of the time but that 2% when she is bad, she is a devil!! Whew. We had some of that this week. I get so mad at her I don't even want to look at her in person but I have to say, sometimes looking at her younger pics actually makes me get over being mad at her because she is such a doll that it's hard to stay mad at a pic of her when she was little!!!!

So maybe you could try that!

pelirroja
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Posted: 8/25/2013 6:47:31 AM
I can't scrap someone when I'm mad at them. As far as sad goes, it can be therapeutic and difficult to scrap the bad stuff. One particular point in my life, I had to set the subject aside for several years before I tackled it. Worth it in the end but soooooo hard to face the facts.

If I'm mad, I prefer to clean and purge: it just feels better that way. Anger kills my mojo but as a mom to teen girls, I totally get where you're coming from, OP. This too shall pass (even if it doesn't feel that way at the moment).


Pelly





trixie*
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Posted: 8/25/2013 8:47:17 AM
I never thought about this before. My hubby to be is my boss. We have been working together for almost a year and this has been hard on the relationship. We have been together for over 15 years and there are a lot of photos with him in them that I am dying to scrap. When I am mad I put those photos aside and scrap one of the kids or myself. If I tried to scrap photos of CHris when I am mad I might accidentally,on purpose, rip the photo. lol so better to be safe and leave the photos alone.


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alittleintrepid
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Posted: 8/25/2013 9:48:06 AM
I've never tried scrapping when I'm mad but it certainly helps to play when I'm feeling stressed. I don't necessarily completely a layout from start to finish but, instead, will work on part of a project such as working on stamping some embellishments or a background.

pinnochio
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Posted: 8/25/2013 10:21:24 AM
If I am really anger or upset I usually don't think about scrapbooking at all. For some reason I can get some really good cleaning done when I am anger. Go figure. If it was just something annoying or irritating I don't usually hold onto it for very long. Takes up too much energy to stay angry. If I want to scrapbook I would probably pick some pictures that bring back happy fun memories and work on those.:

aztam
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Posted: 8/26/2013 1:33:07 AM
As one that only scrapbooks as time permits, could you use color as a means of portraying feeling? Red, purple, flaming orange. It doesn't have to match the pic just the mood.

aerynkelly13
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Posted: 8/26/2013 1:37:48 AM
I clean. I clean like whoa. It usually helps.

When I am stressed, depressed, or freaked out I usually colour and that calms me down. Scrapbooking is so rare and random for me that I don't think I can do it unless I'm in the mood to do it.


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Jill Sprott
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Posted: 8/26/2013 2:34:16 AM
Usually when I'm upset, I can't scrapbook -- mostly because I don't want to be "still" with my thoughts. I have, however, done the "angry scrapbooker" thing a few times. I once vented about the neighborhood kids making my daughter cry, and I once created a page about how frustrating it was to try to get my husband to stop smoking. I look at those pages now, and let me tell you, they resonate. There's something real and raw there. Still, they were the exceptions. Usually I'll just clean when I'm upset. It's symbolic, I think -- gaining control over something-anything when I'm feeling a sense of instability.



miominmio
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Posted: 8/26/2013 2:57:58 AM
I don't scrap when I'm upset by something or someone. Cleaning the bathrooms or going for a run is a better option for me.

scrap4nick
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Posted: 8/26/2013 10:30:49 AM
Cleaning is always good. lol But I like the idea of writing some journaling or a letter. I've seen other scrapbookers write to their children about the attitudes and fights (in a loving way) and I think maybe it helps later on. Later on that child can read that you struggled with it too, it made you mad and sad, too, and that you dealt with issues in the relationship the best you could (and as a human being). There is something honest and ok in that, and it tells her she is ok too.

We are a blended family and also have one child (out of four) that is just off the chain. She has had a hard time sharing her dad and brother with us, and that jealousy can be such a mean monster. One of the reasons I started PL was so that I would be forced to scrap our life events, even when it wasn't going so well. I typically step away from it if things are really bad, but then come back to it to help me recover. It's hard not to take it personally when she acts out. But I know that our life is perfectly imperfect. And it causes me to refocus - that we are all struggling with relationships with each other, and that it is only one aspect of who we are. Even when she acts out the worst, I know underneath all that is a really sweet, caring person who is first to offer help and who has her own special gifts. Our scrapbooks help remind them of that - that we try to see all of who they are. I worry every day that she will hate the scrapbooks, or feel like she was left out somehow, and that motivates me to always always always include her and treat her equally (as equally as possible - I can't do anything if she isn't still long enough to take a good picture! lol!)

I'm sorry to ramble. I feel your pain, anger, sadness, sense of helplessness, frustration. My hope for both of us is that this is not forever, and in time it will get better.

corej
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Posted: 8/26/2013 10:51:39 AM
You all are just amazing and I want to thank you all for reading and responding to my question. I was having a rough day with my teen. She wasn't being horrid, just stereotypical. She is a great girl, but she is 15 and all that comes with that. I was upset. Luckily that has passed for now, but I know it will come back up from time to time. There are awhile that I did not scrapbook her for a couple of months because it seemed like it was so bad I just could not think of what to say. Other times, I have made pages about how hard it must be for her to be a teen and live through all that up and down. Both things have worked.

Thanks everyone and I am so glad to know I am not alone.

meezerpleaser
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Posted: 8/26/2013 11:27:15 AM
I won't scrap when I'm mad just because I'll look back at that page later and remember the "mad" instead of the "glad!"

Cricutgirlg
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Posted: 8/26/2013 12:12:18 PM
Teen years are tough! I was pretty even keel as was my brothers, but my sister was very difficult as a teen. I don't think I could've of scrapped her if I was her parent during that time. Sometimes taking a break is best. Even, scrapping the younger pictures of someone might be better if possible. Step away and take the time to regroup. Relationships are hard and we deserve the time to put things into prospective. There is no time limit on this hobby. Do it when you are ready.


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jerseygirlanne
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Posted: 8/26/2013 12:24:54 PM
I have a hard time scrapping pictures of people that I am mad at or our relationship is not going well. But I still need to be creative so I will make cards!!! Or just get on the internet and look at happy blogs!!!!


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