Saw this on Facebook....what do the peas think of this sentiment?

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Posted 10/24/2013 by ~Lauren~ in NSBR Board
 

~Lauren~
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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:34:14 PM

We will never, ever get rid of bullying. We should teach kids how to stand up for themselves and cope instead of wearing pink shirts and passing anti-bullying bylaws. We are creating a society of victims.



Personally, I think we should be aware of bullying but agree that we need to start teaching kids how to cope and to stand up for themselves. The idea of "bullying" has been taken to extremes; so much so that those cases of true bullying are lost in the shuffle.





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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:40:55 PM
What is so different now days compared to say the 1950's? There have always been bullies but it seems like people/kids take it MUCH more personally now or something.

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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:41:46 PM
Agreed





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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:42:02 PM
I think it's the equivalent of "How to Avoid Rape" tips that focus entirely on giving advice to women.

There are always going to be kids that lack resiliency, social skills, self-confidence, that don't fit in, that don't feel like they have a safe adult to turn to and no outlet for their fear and pain. The solution is not telling them to buck up and get over it.



~Lauren~
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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:43:22 PM
There has to be some happy medium. We now are raising a generation who can't cope with life in many ways.





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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:44:11 PM
I think there is a fine line between needing bullying to stop, vs treating everyone who was ever teased or had someone be mean to them labeled as a "victim" of bullying.

My heart truly hurts for children who are actually bullied...but someone called little Johnny a puss on the bus and now principals are involved. Ridiculous. Every child should have the freedom to come and go to school without being chased, hit, spit on, ceaselessly called names, etc. BUT kids should also learn valuable skills about how to stand up for themselves and not be victimized.


~Lauren~
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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:44:48 PM
Exactly. Well said.





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IScrapCrap
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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:47:03 PM

What is so different now days compared to say the 1950's?


Social media

Miss Ang
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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:47:21 PM

What is so different now days compared to say the 1950's? There have always been bullies but it seems like people/kids take it MUCH more personally now or something.

I think the difference is social media (which I have a love/hate relationship with). In the 1950's a girl may have had a snarky comment made to her by two girls in the bathroom and maybe a couple more overheard. Now, two girls make a snarky comment on Twitter about another girl and suddenly everyone with a keyboard jumps in and it becomes a gang mentality. The difference is, bullying IS much bigger than it used to be because of the outlets available to bully.

That being said, I agree with Lauren when she said:

The idea of "bullying" has been taken to extremes; so much so that those cases of true bullying are lost in the shuffle.

It seems the real bullying is being lost in the shuffle.


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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:47:59 PM

What is so different now days compared to say the 1950's? There have always been bullies but it seems like people/kids take it MUCH more personally now or something.


Social Media and the internet. In the 1950s, heck, in the 1980s when I was in school, when I went home it ended. The entire school or town didn't know what kids were making fun of. With cell phones, youtube, facebook, instagram, texting, twitter, kids can never escape the bullying. The threats, taunts, teasing spread faster and farther than they did 20, 30, 50 years ago.


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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:51:32 PM
What Miss Ang said.

Also the most effective way to deal with bullies used to be to stand up to them, even if that meant giving them a good punch to the gut. Kids aren't allowed to do that anymore. I don't know what the answer is, but I do think it's different now; just look at the number of suicides of victims.


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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:53:25 PM

We will never, ever get rid of bullying. We should teach kids how to stand up for themselves and cope instead of wearing pink shirts and passing anti-bullying bylaws. We are creating a society of victims.


Teach your kids the difference between bullying and kids being dickheads. Teach them the rules for going to the appropriate authorities at the school. Because bullies when called out on their behavior, will move to a new target.

That statement is a stupid generalization. My dd has high functioning autism. She has no issues standing up for herself. Her bullies think her calm and rational explanations of why their teasing is wrong is hilarious.

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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:54:42 PM
Social media is a huge game changer and I disagree with that statement. Bullying was accepted in the past and in some cases expected. Thankfully society isn't going to stand for it anymore. It should never be acceptable or expected.



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Posted: 10/24/2013 2:58:07 PM

We now are raising a generation who can't cope with life in many ways.


I think this is a gross generalization. True, there are some kids who can't cope. That's always been true though. We're still producing lots of kids that turn into functioning, contributing members of society.



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Posted: 10/24/2013 3:02:12 PM

What is so different now days compared to say the 1950's? There have always been bullies but it seems like people/kids take it MUCH more personally now or something.


Like others have said social media. It used to be they would go home and wouldn't have to deal with it. Now they go home and they receive the threats via text, facebook, etc. They don't have an escape anymore, kwim?

I read an interest comment on a news site that had an article about the Nevada shooting. We have become a society that doesn't teach children how to deal with anything negative. Everyone gets a trophy so they don't have to feel let down but they aren't learning any coping mechanisms. The guy went into much greater details with examples and it really made a lot of sense.


Laurie


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Posted: 10/24/2013 3:03:21 PM

Also the most effective way to deal with bullies used to be to stand up to them, even if that meant giving them a good punch to the gut. Kids aren't allowed to do that anymore.


Exactly. My neighbor's son was suspended for a day because he stood up for a kid that has Tourettes (sp?) and Trichotillomania. He punched the bully. The bully was FINALLY kicked out of school the last 2 weeks of school after that incident.

In my dd's school there are cores and you have a core group of teachers the entire year. My dd was teased at lunch, before, during, and after classes by this same boy. Why didn't he get in serious trouble before? Kids are required to go to the counselor to issue a complaint before anything is on record.

It got so bad, I told her for one week she had to ignore him and a couple of other people, walk away, don't say anything, don't give them a reaction. Keep notes of what is going on.

There were 3 kids who consistently would NOT leave her alone. By the end of the school year, she was defensive, yelling, had high anxiety, and missed at least 2 days of school because I could not physically get her to go to school.

This school year I requested she have no classes with that boy and had to make modifications for P.E. because last year (this happened all the time in and out of the class) 3 mean girls would look at her and say ewww and make other ugly comments about her appearance.

I saw this same girl this year when we were at a stop light. She grabbed her friend and started pointing and laughing at my dd while I was RIGHT THERE!

At lunch time this year, she is trying to get my dd to "go with" one boy or another. Thank goodness she can understand this girl is evil.

I don't know what boy talked to her but he told her don't ever do anything she tells you or asks you. We need more of those kids. Kids that stand up for others. Kids need to understand the "weird, odd" kids may have hidden disabilities they are not aware of and to be a little compassionate.

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Posted: 10/24/2013 3:06:53 PM
Well, there used to be plenty of people who thought we'd never get rid of slavery. Or have female lawyers or doctors. You can't create cultural change unless you try.

I think the solution is two-fold. I believe we need to teach kids to stand up for themselves and I believe we need to severely punish kids who bully others to the point where they learn it's not worth it.

~Laurie~
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Posted: 10/24/2013 3:33:33 PM

I think this is a gross generalization. True, there are some kids who can't cope. That's always been true though. We're still producing lots of kids that turn into functioning, contributing members of society.


I agree with this comment too.

Maybe not enough parents are having discussions with their children? I regularly talk to Emily about both sides of bullying. I tell her that I never want to hear her bullying, talking bad about someone or making fun of someone. A couple of years ago I found a message that she sent to a friend that said some things that were not nice. I was livid and had a very frank talk and I did not hold back letting her know how disappointed I was in her.

I also talk to her about what to do if someone is bullying her. After a recent news story about an 11 year old (or was it 10 yo?) committing suicide over bullying I talked to her about suicide. I never imagined that I would be having a talk about suicide with a 10 year old. I expected that talk more around 8th grade. It breaks my heart that discussions about suicide have to happen around this young age.

IDK what the solution is or what the root of the cause is but I will be damned if I sit back and do nothing. I do not want to be a parent of a dead child due to bullying nor do I want to be the parent to a child that drove another child to suicide or committing a mass murder.


Laurie


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Posted: 10/24/2013 4:01:51 PM

I do believe there is value in teaching kids to stand up for themselves along with telling a parent, teacher etc.

Many may not agree with me, but I've always taught my kids that they don't have to put up with bullying behaviors from anyone. I think they are fully within their rights to fight back, especially if someone is physically bothering them. Eg. Pushing, throwing things, ear-flicking, blocking their way, you get the picture.

This also applies to their friends and fellow students as well who don't dare stand up for themselves with this type of bullying. I want my kids to stand with them and intimidate the bully right back. It's called 'doing the right thing in my book.'

I realize that this wouldn't necessarily work in all situations.





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Posted: 10/24/2013 4:42:48 PM
I agree with this:


The idea of "bullying" has been taken to extremes; so much so that those cases of true bullying are lost in the shuffle.


As for the sentiment you quoted, I think we should be doing both. We should teach our children coping skills to deal with nasty people in the world, but we should also be teaching our children not to be actual bullies and to try to help end actual bullying.

I agree we will never be rid of it. But it makes no sense to have to choose to either try to eliminate or decrease it OR learn to deal with it.


We don't say let's all learn to defend ourselves against thieves or murders and stop trying to prevent those criminals from acting. Even though we know we cannot prevent all crimes, we still try to do anything possible to create a world with less crime while also trying to find ways to avoid being victims.




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Posted: 10/24/2013 4:43:15 PM
I hate to say that I agree. But there have always been bullies... I wish it weren't so, but I can't think of a time when there weren't. I only hope to teach my girls to not bully others and to not tolerate bullying behavior from others (hoping to teach them to stand up for themselves!)









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Posted: 10/24/2013 4:45:24 PM
I think it is just as important to teach kids not involved in the bullying, but bystanders, to not sit idly by while it happens. Teach kids it is ok to stick up for someone else.

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Posted: 10/24/2013 4:49:30 PM
You know I am glad bullying is getting awareness, but I also wish the groping and grabbing of girls would get some attention. I went through it, my dd went through it and my co-worker's dd is going through it. I just wish these schools would start being proactive before things blow up.

Seems bullying didn't get much attention until these kids began taking their own lives for the schools and parents to understand that some of these kids truly are vicitims. Yes I agree we need to teach our kids resiliency but at some point schools need to take a stronger stance on what goes on in the classrooms and corridors.



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Posted: 10/25/2013 8:16:37 AM
The difference between bullying in the 60's and now is that big brother, or father, or friend cant take the bully behind the woodshed and beat the pulp out of them.


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Posted: 10/25/2013 8:23:44 AM
Social media absolutely makes it worse than anything we ever had to experience. It's relentless and widespread. As we know from this site, bullies have keyboard courage and take things much further online than they ever would have the guts to do face to face. And the kid being bullied can't escape it.

I think the key is teaching your kids not to stand by and watch others get tormented online. To speak up, and to let the bullies know it is unacceptable.

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Posted: 10/25/2013 8:31:46 AM

Also the most effective way to deal with bullies used to be to stand up to them, even if that meant giving them a good punch to the gut. Kids aren't allowed to do that anymore. I don't know what the answer is, but I do think it's different now; just look at the number of suicides of victims.



Our DS has always been small for his age and has had his share of being bullied. Well....I should say he used to. I really struggled with this because I know there is a no tolerance for bullying or fighting but DH told DS that if he was being bullied to put a stop to it.

One particular incident, he was a sophomore in high school and was being bullied the whole first semester. DS fought back. He did have to serve in school suspension but those kids left him alone. He's really never had a problem since then.

Now....please understand that I don't condone fighting but he needed to stand up for himself. I just hate that kids are so mean.


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Posted: 10/25/2013 8:42:32 AM
Agree with social media.

Anybody check out ASK FM lately? It's the worst. The perfect place for bullies because comments are anonymous.





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Posted: 10/25/2013 8:57:25 AM

Social media absolutely makes it worse than anything we ever had to experience. It's relentless and widespread. As we know from this site, bullies have keyboard courage and take things much further online than they ever would have the guts to do face to face. And the kid being bullied can't escape it.


It is interesting, I had a conversation with my kids about this. They didn't think that social media was as big of a problem as I did. My view that it is relentless and that there was no "safe" place when long someone who want to find you, finds you. The kids can't go home and escape it, there is no chance of finding friends outside of the social circle that don't know about the bullying (everyone has the same access.)

Add on top of that the parenting style that came into vogue about the time I had children that said that we shouldn't ever say no, we should always discuss with our children why they shouldn't do something, trophies for all, too many excuses as to why our children should not be held accountable for their behavior, etc. No longer can I parent like my mother without being told that I am damaging my children's psyche. My mother is the most loving and compassionate woman, but she would tolerate no disrespect and wouldn't hesitate to swat my bottom as a child. (I know I am generalizing, but there is enough of this to hold some validity.)

And one more thing and perhaps some may think that I am stretching the point, but I think a lot of what was see on tv/movies doesn't help. The boundaries of respect have stretched to the breaking point. Kids talk to their parents SO disrespectfully because they think it is the norm, that is after all the behavior they see on tv. Our elected leadership is not modeling respectful behavior, stupid sitcoms show us that laughing at the misfortune of others is okay, and video games are no better.

I think it is a toxic mix. Too much access, not enough accountability taught. Keyboard courage, with people not having to actually witness the cruelty that they are spewing.

I don't know the answer on how to fix it.

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Posted: 10/25/2013 8:58:51 AM
I feel there needs to be a happy medium, too. I was bullied in sixth grade by a girl that I found out a few years ago has had a long struggle with mental illness. I understand that signs of mental illness starts showing up around puberty. So perhaps she saw an easy target in me since I was always shy and would never fight and she literally couldn't help herself. I don't know. But after finding out about her problems and the hard life she has had, I was able to forgive her and let go. I believe that many bullies are acting out due to circumstances beyond their control in their own lives. But then again, some are just plain mean.

When our DS was 10 y.o. we enrolled him in martial arts. It was the best thing we did. While they taught him how to defend himself if he was attacked, they also taught him self control. He also developed self-confidence. He had a class his freshman year with a guy that had an agenda against my DS for whatever reason. My DS's best friend was also in this class. He told the bully that my DS had a brown belt in martial arts and could easily kick his a$$. The kid left him alone.

My DH also told my DS a story around that time of when he was in high school, he stood up to a neighborhood bully on the bus that was picking on the kid across the street. He told the bully that if he said one more word to this kid he was going to kick his a$$. This kid never picked on the boy again on the bus. So the idea that kids will get in trouble for defending a victim is causing them to not do a thing and letting the bullies get away with it and keep attacking the victim. So sad.


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Posted: 10/25/2013 9:37:21 AM

The idea of "bullying" has been taken to extremes; so much so that those cases of true bullying are lost in the shuffle.



Can you provide an example?


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Posted: 10/25/2013 9:46:02 AM
Good points Lauren. Yes, we should do what we can to prevent bullying, but also teach kids how to protect themselves against bullies.

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Posted: 10/25/2013 9:48:21 AM

The idea of "bullying" has been taken to extremes; so much so that those cases of true bullying are lost in the shuffle.


Can you provide an example?




Scoring 91 more points than the other teams = bullying.


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Posted: 10/25/2013 9:51:50 AM

Scoring 91 more points than the other teams = bullying


Like.


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Posted: 10/25/2013 10:04:35 AM
I find that people who say those kinds of things weren't seriously bullied as kids. I did everything to stop bullying short of physical violence, and yet I was bullied. I was called every name under the sun, slapped in the face, held down and punched, pushed down stairs,sprayed in the eye with breathe spray, and repeatedly spit on during every class I had with one guy. Part of the problem was that the school had a kids will be kids attitude.

The guy that slapped me in the face did so, because I stood up to him for calling me names. When the guy that spit on me got caught he threatened to kill me if he ever got caught again. I can't even imagine how much harder my life would have been if they would have had access too me through things like Facebook and cell phones.

I do believe parents have to teach their children that they have worth despite the bullying. In the end I feel sorry for guys that would physically and emotionally bully a girl. They were obviously messed up in the head, and didn't have the awesome and supportive home life that I had. My biggest issues with not dealing with bullying is that the bullies also do not get the help they desperately need.

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Posted: 10/25/2013 10:11:39 AM
I also believe until you've looked into your child's eyes and see the torture there, you don't have a clue about bullying in today's world.

My son would be dead, another statistic, if we hadn't taken seriously the pain he was experiencing DAILY from bullying. We almost didn't see it. We almost agreed with the "he just needs to toughen up." And it almost killed him.

So, no. I don't agree with this sentiment at all.


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Posted: 10/25/2013 10:13:25 AM
I admit to being a little on fence because of social media, but this is the single most logical article I've ever seen about the issue of bullying:

Bullying: Elie Mystal from Above The Law


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Posted: 10/25/2013 10:21:05 AM
I have always told my two daughters that if someone bigger than them hit them they should not hesitate to hit them back and stick up for themselves. This, however, has never been the scenario that plays out.

The bullying that they have experienced has been much more subtle. It is more of the death by a thousand psychological pecks. Fortunately, neither one has social media and the school was kind enough to put my youngest in a class away from her bully.

While I agree with the Facebook statement in principle, the day to day reality is that while you can teach the kids to cope with 90% of the comments there are still 10% that do get under the skin and cause infection.

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Posted: 10/25/2013 11:14:31 AM
What is so different now days compared to say the 1950's? There have always been bullies but it seems like people/kids take it MUCH more personally now or something.

I agree that social media is partially responsible but I also have a different opinion and I know it isn't popular so I am a bit nervous about sharing it.
I was a teenager in the 50's, (yes I am a senior, a very senior) and we had no gang mentality and very little bullying, in fact I cannot remember anything worse than mild teasing, in my location.
What we did have was corporal punishment.
If I was bad I got a spanking, not a beating but a good swift smack on the butt. As I got older the spankings ended because I could understand what my parents were trying to tell me. I figured out pretty soon what was acceptable behaviour because I knew the consequences of bad behaviour. But I made these decisions myself. I wasn't manipulated or talked out of something or into something for that matter..
I was lucky enough to have responsible parents so I became responsible for my actions. My children have been responsible and my grandchildren are responsible, too.
If I got in trouble at school I got in trouble at home.
I am not saying I never have made mistakes, I have and still do but I take responsibility for them. This allows me to feel proud of myself.
It seems to me this generation is not responsible for anything they do. If they get in trouble at school a lot of parents side with their child and blame the school. If they break the law a lawyer will find a loop hole to get them off. If they make a promise and break it they find a reason to justify their behaviour.
Then you throw the worship of money into the mix and I don't understand how young people cannot feel angry with the world. I think we have taken away their pride in being "good" people.
Just an old gals ramblings....

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Posted: 10/25/2013 11:27:07 AM
And remember many "bullies" are themselves abused.

My "bully" in 6th & 7th grade was being abused at home. I hated what she did to me, the pranks, the set-ups and the treats of bodily harm. But she was all bluster.

Bullies are often "made," not that way from birth.

Knowing this does not make it easier on a target or victim of a bully. But it does help in being a survivor, and not taking the tactic to others.


Sandy
Every MOM is a working mom!
"Retired" after 22 years of an Air Force Career

REMEMBER this Veterans Day

To quote Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."

Aesculus
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jodster70
To the right, To the right

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Posted: 10/25/2013 11:41:27 AM
This is one of the times that I disagree with you Lauren. I'm passionate about this topic, so this is a long post.

I've always been short, and was small as well when I was in sixth grade. I was bullied both by kids my age as well as a group of cheerleaders a couple of grades older than me. There was no way I could've stood up to them. I dreaded going to school every day. Finally a teacher saw the cheerleaders bullyng me and they got in trouble. They blamed of that on me too and it only got worse.

Years later I became a teacher. One little boy I knew was a naturally feminine little boy. He was a twin and many of the boys in the grade picked on him. I did what I could I call parents and got the kids in trouble that were involved. But I couldn't be everywhere, and still it went on. His own twin even picked on him for fear of being picked on himself. The boy eventually changed schools to get away from the bullying.

That was the worst case I saw but by no means the only case I saw. When you're small kid and there's a group of kids picking on you it is hard to stand up for yourself. This happens all the time and it should be punished severely, but too many people have attitudes like I've seen on this thread.

My sister had a friend whose son killed himself because of bullying, and I've seen so many stories on it since then it's incredible. Bullying should be taken seriously. Kids should not have to suffer day in and day out when they go to school.

Have you ever seen the documentary "Bullied?" Just watch the trailer, it's on you tube. Kids go through that every single day, all over the country.

There are always cases of people who cry wolf, with any kind of social ill. It doesn't mean that it's not a serious problem!


**Jody**

"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government -- lest it come to dominate our lives and interests."
Patrick Henry

merrick
PeaFixture

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Posted: 10/25/2013 12:05:41 PM
if i had to go to work everyday and feel awful because i didn't know what horrible thing certain people were going to say or do to me.... it would be stressful and distracting. everyone would be supporting me saying "you don't need to put up with that, you need to escalate it to the higher ups".

with that being said, i think the negative side effect is everything gets painted with the "bully brush". two kids don't get along - other kid is clearly a bully. kids have a falling out and one decides they aren't going to be friends any more - well that's bullying. you can only invite 5 kids to your birthday party - well a child left out is bullying.

in my day, if someone had an embarrassing pic of you, it was slipped into the trophy case so others could see it; a few mins later a teacher removed it. now, someone has an embarrassing photo of you, and with a couple of touches of their phone, your 350 friends saw it and forwarded it on to their friends. and so on.


i am grateful i am not growing up right now. reminds me of this interview. i thought this was pretty accurate - it's only about 5 mins but if you fade out halfway thru, stay with it, he does bring it all around again to make his point.

CK Louis Hates Cell Phones


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mom2ja2
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Posted: 10/26/2013 12:26:01 PM
Sometimes I think our generation of parents might be quicker to say "bullying" and get the school, the police, a team of lawyers involved because of what we saw growing up.

Maybe I'm wrong.

I graduated high school in 1987.

I remember a girl being so bullied in middle school that at a basketball game she came to the mean, rough, tough girls spit in her hair throughout the game.

She was shoved in the school swimming pool while fully dressed on more than one occasion and even when she nutted up and said "So & so pushed me" there were always a good half dozen witnesses to say "Nuh, uh...she slipped."

The idea of this girl sticking up for herself was laughable. She was very, very small for her age. While the rest of us were around the 100 lb mark at that age...she was maybe in the mid 60s. I saw her a few years ago and she's not even 5 foot tall, so in jr high she was probably the size of a 3rd grader. She had scoliosis and the back brace to go with it. She was completely frail.

Her parents were deeply religious and thought prayer was the best way to deal with it. The teachers and principals of my day took the "kids will be kids" approach.

I have memories of other kids being so brutally bullied in school that they were shells by graudation...if they made it that far. Some dropped out. Some got into drugs & crime...a few made it out okay, but if *I'm* still haunted by what they went through, I'm sure they are.

If my child was being bullied, the first thing I would be thinking of would be that girl being spit on. And no F-ING way is that gonna happen on my watch.

So, yeah. I'd probably be in the principals office...and on the punks front door step...and whatever it took to let people know that I'm not playing around.

Because I saw with my own eyes what happens when school administrators, parents, and peers all just say "kids will be kids" and "ya gotta learn to stick up for yourself." And I'm not about to trust the school or accept it as a rite of passage.




**********************************************************
One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes. (the little prince)
**********************************************************
Mom to 3 great kids!

sipeacup
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Posted: 10/26/2013 12:43:36 PM
"What is so different now days compared to say the 1950's? There have always been bullies but it seems like people/kids take it MUCH more personally now or something.


Like others have said social media. It used to be they would go home and wouldn't have to deal with it. Now they go home and they receive the threats via text, facebook, etc. They don't have an escape anymore, kwim?"

Also used to mean that the bullying got so bad the victim could change schools & basically start over.

Those days are over with social media. DD's club volleyball teammate was bullied in one school, changed schools (a private school 30 miles away) and the taunts followed her there. She saw no escape & committed suicide by shooting herself in the head.
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ktNryansmom
*REDEYED PEA*

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Posted: 10/26/2013 12:50:04 PM
The best thing I ever did was teach my own kids how to use their words to fight back.
We'd role play even...it works!
Sometimes the best comebacks were them turning the tables and asking questions of the bully (they're lonely after all) and in a couple of instances it helped the bully make friends and learn to be nice and how to be a friend.

Words are the best weapons -and yes, we need to toughen up our kids.

Cyber bullying and crap like that should not be tolerated at all because it goes way beyond the perpetrator and the victim

My opinion of course


Karen

**Children should be seen and heard and BELIEVED**
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msbee
Mommy Peas-alot

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Posted: 10/26/2013 1:05:30 PM
I haven't read all the replies. I think the problem is two fold.

As a society we are raising kids with rose colored glasses. Not grading in lower grades, no scores in sports, everybody gets an award or medal etc. Kids need to learn to deal with disappointment and learn everything in life is not always fair or nice.

There are parents who don't parent their kids. The parents themselves have such entitlement and the rules don't apply to me mentalities that their special snowflakes can do no wrong. There is entirely too much of a me, me, me mentality in this country.

My kids knew if they pulled crap at school they were going to be in far worse trouble at home then they did at school. Had my kid been bullying someone there would have been hell to pay if I had found out about it.



Monica D
You're either in, or you're out

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Posted: 10/26/2013 1:26:31 PM

Add on top of that the parenting style that came into vogue about the time I had children that said that we shouldn't ever say no, we should always discuss with our children why they shouldn't do something, trophies for all, too many excuses as to why our children should not be held accountable for their behavior, etc. No longer can I parent like my mother without being told that I am damaging my children's psyche. My mother is the most loving and compassionate woman, but she would tolerate no disrespect and wouldn't hesitate to swat my bottom as a child. (I know I am generalizing, but there is enough of this to hold some validity.)


I agree with this. I really worry about the next generation.


-Monica

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