Ungrateful little twerps!

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Posted 11/12/2013 by edie3 in NSBR Board
 

edie3
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Posted: 11/12/2013 7:31:10 PM
Came home from work, DS had some friends over. So, I made supper, enough for everyone. Only one person thanked me, and that was my other son.

Carry on, vent over.




lostinspace
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Posted: 11/12/2013 7:33:11 PM
Next time say, it's dinner, time for everyone to go home.


Please ignore my spelling mistakes

A proud Canadian Pea

kelly316
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Posted: 11/12/2013 7:44:43 PM
I am finding that kids do not have manners anymore. Are the parents not teaching them or is this part of the entitlement issue?

tinaev
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Posted: 11/12/2013 7:46:42 PM
Kids are not taught manners anymore.

_Betsy_
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Posted: 11/12/2013 7:48:51 PM
Anyone under 18 in my house for a meal may be subject to some gentle correction in the manners department. And, I'd have a quick talk with your sons about how you felt and how they are to use their manners when they eat with another family.

scrappower
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Posted: 11/12/2013 7:51:09 PM
Oh bullshit that kids aren't taught manners. Every generation goes on and on about how ungrateful kids are when in fact there are some good, some bad, some neutral. Just like every other generation. Maybe he needs to find better mannered friends. All of my friends children are super polite.



edie3
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Posted: 11/12/2013 7:55:30 PM
Yes, I will talk to my son about this. He knows better, and I thought his friends did too.




Basket1lady
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Posted: 11/12/2013 8:26:32 PM
I wouldn't put up with that. I would kindly prompt the kids to help clean up and to say thank you. Kids feel awkward in a new situation and can act too cool for school. That doesn't mean they weren't taught manners. We just need to remind them every now and then.

I fed 45 JV football players dinner for 9 weeks. The first day I came home and complained about the entitled players. So the next week I changed it. I had the players helping carry food in, helping to set up, and helping to clean up. I prompted please and thank yous and sent kids who were pushing to the back of the line. I tried hard to keep it light and teasing, but I was firm.

I went from resenting the job to looking forward to it. The kids would see me in the hall or at the grocery store and say hello. They would come to me when I worked after school concessions. I didn't notice that the kids resented it--they all seems to try to up their game and be polite. There is hope!


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cmpeter
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Posted: 11/12/2013 8:31:45 PM
I don't buy that kids don't have manners anymore. Dd had three friends sleep over this weekend and I had plenty of thank you's. I drive carpool for her choir group and always get a thank you.

OP, I would be ticked with you if there wasn't a thank you after a meal like that.


Cindi

Ginger_64
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Posted: 11/12/2013 8:35:12 PM
My kids' friends are usually very gracious. I get tons of thank yous when I give them rides places, let them sleepover, etc. My dd actually has one friend I adore who almost thanks me too many times (it's like "enough" lol!).

Sometimes kids are bad mannered and sometimes they do just sort of zone out and forget. If they didn't thank me, I would be annoyed too. But I wouldn't assume they were ill-mannered unless it happened often. Everyone forgets or makes mistakes now and then.

megmc
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Posted: 11/12/2013 8:40:27 PM
My children's friends are always thankful. And the pick up the table.



* Harmony *
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Posted: 11/12/2013 8:48:54 PM
Hopefully the friends will learn from your sons; they are setting a good example



dori-scraps
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Posted: 11/12/2013 8:54:23 PM
I was very hard on my daughter when she was young about manners. Now she is 21 and she is the one of the few people he age I know that uses manners.

She has a friend I will not allow in my house any more because of her manners. She is a lazy selfish person that has no manners.



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KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/12/2013 8:59:13 PM
If you (general you) don't believe kids have manners anymore, you're not hanging out with the right kids. And what's that saying...'birds of a feather?'

I have three children and there have been many, many children in and out of this house over the years. Sure...some of them I liked better than others, but I can't think of a single one who didn't show their manners in my presence.

Kids today DO have manners. I've met them.


~Kristen~

raindancer
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Posted: 11/12/2013 9:13:57 PM

I was very hard on my daughter when she was young about manners. Now she is 21 and she is the one of the few people he age I know that uses manners.


Then dare I say you don't know many 21 yo. I spend all day long on a college campus, and this is just such an absurd thing to say.

I'm sitting with Scrappower, etc. on this one.

Plenty of kids have manners.


~Heidi~



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Posted: 11/12/2013 9:35:58 PM
My dd's friends are very polite. They are full of please & thank you's, and they help clear the table of their dishes after we eat.


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bugluver
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Posted: 11/12/2013 10:02:08 PM
My son and his friends are usually good mannered and polite. I have actually been surprised at how they say thank you for having them, feeding them, driving them etc. I honestly thought in middle school and now high school manners might go by the way side but they have not.

peasful1
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Posted: 11/12/2013 10:11:45 PM

I am finding that kids do not have manners anymore. Are the parents not teaching them or is this part of the entitlement issue?



You sound 80 years old.

DH and I helped dish out lunch to 100+ marching band kids a couple of weeks ago and every single one said, "Thank you!" At the very least. Many expressed a great deal of gratitude. My own thank me regularly for stuff. All of their friends are also very gracious.


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MetalDancer
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Posted: 11/12/2013 10:24:00 PM
My DS (age 25) and I were talking about this just yesterday. He said, and I quote, "these little shits are spending more time keeping up with the Kardashians and the alleged "real" housewives of wherever to know how to act right!"


Lisa =^..^=

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Posted: 11/12/2013 10:29:24 PM
"Kids are not taught manners anymore"

That is such a a bunch of crap.
I hope you don't have kids, since you say they aren't taught manners

Yes, most are.
Some choose not to use than.
Most do.


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icedcoffee
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Posted: 11/12/2013 10:33:58 PM

Sometimes kids are bad mannered and sometimes they do just sort of zone out and forget. If they didn't thank me, I would be annoyed too. But I wouldn't assume they were ill-mannered unless it happened often. Everyone forgets or makes mistakes now and then.


^^^^ 100% this

Kids aren't mini adults; It takes time to teach them, and some kids have to be corrected many, many, more times than others before it sinks in. If a child had the mind set of an adult, why would they need our guidance?


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Kelpea
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Posted: 11/13/2013 4:51:11 AM
Plenty of kids have manners. The giant, hulking, football player young teens who crash at our house every weekend (lately, lol), ALWAYS thank me for their food. In fact my heart melted when one of them found me in the halls at school the following Monday to thank me again for having him over.

P.S. The clean up a basement really well, too! I trained them well.



sharonmnc
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Posted: 11/13/2013 5:16:41 AM

DH and I helped dish out lunch to 100+ marching band kids a couple of weeks ago and every single one said, "Thank you!" At the very least. Many expressed a great deal of gratitude.
Me, too. Only one band kid didn't say thank you and he probably forgot. It's the adults around here who don't say thank you.


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GrinningCat
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Posted: 11/13/2013 6:18:20 AM

Oh bullshit that kids aren't taught manners. Every generation goes on and on about how ungrateful kids are when in fact there are some good, some bad, some neutral. Just like every other generation. Maybe he needs to find better mannered friends. All of my friends children are super polite.
Exactly. Every generation says that the generation after them is going to hell. It's funny how people always think that. But also pathetic.

maryannscraps
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Posted: 11/13/2013 6:26:15 AM
I'm sorry you had a bunch of ungrateful little twerps over.

I don't see that at all with the kids around my house. They're all well mannered, polite, friendly, and helpful. DS 15 had a couple kids sleep over last weekend. They cleaned up after themselves, and even vacuumed. (they like my Dyson.) They said thank you, and helped clean up the breakfast dishes.

I honestly can't think of a single rude kid that comes over to my house.

mikklynn
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Posted: 11/13/2013 7:26:32 AM
It's not age related. My MIL is 81 and never says thank you for anything I do for her, gifts we give her, or flowers we send her.


Lynn



kimberly38
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Posted: 11/13/2013 7:30:09 AM
Honestly, if these kids are at my home often and I invite them to dinner, I would have no problem sitting at the table and asking everyone, "Doesn't anyone have something to say?", and when they all look at you like a deer in headlights, I would respond, "You are welcome for the meal you are receiving". Hopefully, they are smart enough to get the hint.

And they would be taking their own dishes to the sink and rinsing them off and help clean up.

KatieBPea
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Posted: 11/13/2013 7:43:09 AM
What Kimberly said.

For the most part, the teens and preteens that I come in contact with through my two oldest are well-mannered.

In fact, I just dropped off the boys in my son's middle school carpool and think that it's kind of cute that every time I drop them off they tell me thank you.



Maryland
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Posted: 11/13/2013 7:46:00 AM
I wouldn't be making dinner for those kids anymore! I do agree with others that many parents don't teach their kids manners anymore. It's all about the kid, and they are doing no favors by making their kid think the world revolves around her. But that's a completely different topic!

My kids friends have been taught manners. I think my kids aren't "attracted" to kids without manners. We often take boys from my daughter's soccer team home and they always thank me. So does my other daughter's friend when we drive her. My 16 yr. old daughters new boyfriend always thanks me when I make cookies for him and he has complemented me on my hair twice! They have only been going out a few weeks! My own family never even compliments me (yet the do have great manners when they aren't at home!!haha).


Maryland
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Posted: 11/13/2013 7:49:02 AM
Just read some other responses and I feel like one of the above peas. We were really tough on teaching manners to our daughters ever since they were young. Say please, thank you, excuse me. Hold doors for anyone coming up behind you (and the men especially love that! The love that a little girl will hold the door for them). Give up their seat for an adult, etc. We just felt that they will get much further in life if they have manners.

AngelKriC
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Posted: 11/13/2013 9:05:18 AM
We're super tough on teaching manners as well! To the point that we get strange looks when we are in a restaurant and my youngest says please and thank you after almost every sentence LOL....All of my oldest son's, and he as well, have manners too. I don't know what sort of kids the others are hanging around, but kids definitely have manners! I'm getting to the point to where I don't have to remind my oldest as much and I never have to remind my youngest even though I do out of habit!


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Posted: 11/13/2013 12:27:05 PM
Kids do have manners. Whether or not they use them is a different story.

My daughter (14) had a couple friends over this weekend and they were all sweet and had very good manners. They all thanked us for having them over.

My son (20) has friends over from time to time. They are all very polite. One of them always comments on how nice my hair looks, totally cracks me up!

gmcwife1
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Posted: 11/13/2013 12:35:12 PM

Sometimes kids are bad mannered and sometimes they do just sort of zone out and forget. If they didn't thank me, I would be annoyed too. But I wouldn't assume they were ill-mannered unless it happened often. Everyone forgets or makes mistakes now and then.


Thank you I was wondering if I was the only one that would figure it was just forgotten for a moment, would be done later or just not made a big deal of it.

I work with kids weekly and the majority of them have manners. But they can be involved in something and forget to use their manners on occasion. It doesn't mean they don't have manners, it means they forgot, they were too engrossed in what they were doing, they were nervous, etc.

The general public seems to make such harsh judgment of our kids more and more


~ Dori ~
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