Question About Taking Your Pets To Other People's Homes?

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Posted 12/19/2013 by joyce.k.b. in NSBR Board
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joyce.k.b.
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:23:13 PM
Do you consider it rude for a person to bring their pet to your home without asking you first?


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freecharlie
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:23:51 PM
Absolutely. And more than likely they would not be staying.


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LonghornMom
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:28:12 PM
Definitely! Especially if they are overnight guests.

Now if we had dogs, that lived in our house, and had friends with dogs that knew and got along with our dogs, we would probably allow it - but would definitely need to be asked first just to make sure.

My friend has family coming in from out of town that is bringing a dog. They did not ask her, they told her and hinted that a kennel would be really expensive. She has no dogs, no pets and never has. I think that is rude! (But my friend is keeping her mouth shut due to not wanting to rock the boat.)

busypea
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:28:25 PM
Yes, unless it has been previously discussed.

We always have our dog with us when we visit my parents. If it's not a good time for him to be there (like right now they are doing some renovations), they'll mention it and we'll board him that time. I used to ask my mom every time if it was ok if we brought the dog and she finally said, you don't need to ask every time - we'll tell you if it's not a good time.

But I can't imagine showing up at someone's house with your pet without asking first in the vast vast majority of situations.

myshelly
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:31:37 PM
YES!

One of the worst, most unbelievably rude things a guest could do.

I once had a guest show up to a party at my house with a dog. NO. That dog was not allowed in my yard, much less my house. The guest left it in the car for a few minutes while she mingled, then she said her goodbyes and left. Fine by me.



cmpeter
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:38:47 PM
Yes, it's very rude to bring a pet without asking first.


Cindi

joyce.k.b.
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:39:57 PM
I had a much more detailed question about this but the IPad is being touchy and not posting my long responses.

Ack!!! This is frustrating!


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MrsDepp
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:45:52 PM
Yes

[Michele]

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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:47:31 PM
Hell to the yes.


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megmc
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:51:50 PM
oh hell yes.





joyce.k.b.
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Posted: 12/19/2013 11:53:09 PM
Do you risk offending an immature family member by requesting they ask permission to bring the dog? Which may result in family member retaliating by not coming to visit as a result?


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[Michele]

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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:02:19 AM
*If I were irritated about not being asked, but didn't actually care whether they brought the dog or not I would probably suck it up (especially if it were an in-law).

*If I did not want the dog there, I would make it clear that the dog wasn't welcome. (My MIL is reasonable though and not immature.)


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OCLittleFlower
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:05:00 AM
Yeah it's rude, though I wouldn't much care if someone did it to us. We love dogs, though.

Cats on the other hand would be an issue -- the hubby is allergic.


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freecharlie
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:09:00 AM

Do you risk offending an immature family member by requesting they ask permission to bring the dog? Which may result in family member retaliating by not coming to visit as a result?
If all you want them to do is ask and you are going to say yes, I would suck it up. If you don't want the animal at your house, then absolutely say something.

Or you could say, You know it would have been nice to be asked if I wanted your dog at my house.


Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you

OzAngel
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:14:08 AM
Yes, bad manners to bring without asking, even if the home owner has dogs of their own. Even if I didn't mind the dog coming, I would expect to be asked first.

If the guest is so immature that they would 'retaliate' by not coming - they deserve to be home alone.


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joyce.k.b.
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:25:57 AM
The puppy has peed on my white area rug and chewed on my coffee table legs. I know they will bring her again on Christmas without asking. What I want is to ask them to put the puppy on our enclosed patio area while eat. So the puppy isnt running around the dinner table and the owners arent chasing her the entire time. Unreasonable?


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busypea
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:30:10 AM
UGH! They brought an unhousetrained puppy??? That is beyond rude.

I would say NOW, that they either need to leave the puppy at home or bring a crate so the dog can be confined during the meal, etc.. Even if you have it on the patio, but not in a crate, it could chew on more stuff.

Also, I'd say the dog needs to be on a leash at all times when not in the crate.

freecharlie
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:39:37 AM
PWhat abouy, "I don't kniw if you were planning on bringing Fido again, but since last time she peed andchewed, if you are please make sure and bring his crate.





Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you

joyce.k.b.
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:43:12 AM
I like the crate idea. They are crate training her so that seems appropriate if they want to bring her. It would be an entirely different situation if the dog was trained already and her owners were the least bit considerate about bringing het into my home.


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swissscrapper
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Posted: 12/20/2013 1:27:19 AM
My husband's aunt showed up at our house, (expected) with her dog in tow, (unexpected). I stopped her right outside the door and said, I am so sorry, we have family members who are allergic to dogs. He will have to stay outside. Only we don't have a yard, we lived in an apartment building, which meant he had to wait in the car. I felt bad for the dog, he would have been much more comfortable at home, but she didn't warn me first.

I would have no problem telling your family member that the dog was not welcome due to what happened on the previous visit. If they throw a fit, let them. It reflects more on them than you. Your home, your right to protect it.

Amy


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Wife to Chris

gar
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Posted: 12/20/2013 1:36:25 AM
In your situation I would have a hard time being civil to be honest. I'm not interested in dogs and I would be well and truly p*ssed off that it had damaged my home.

Depends on the family dynamics and relationship as to how I'd handle the next visit






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justKAT
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Posted: 12/20/2013 2:41:44 AM
Yes! It's almost as rude as stopping by unannounced. As a previous poster said, they probably wouldn't be staying either.

Seeing as this is a family member I would simply make it clear, politely but firmly, that while family member is welcome fido is not.
Kat

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Posted: 12/20/2013 3:46:04 AM

Yes, it's rude to show up at someone's home with an unvited furry friend. It's rude to allow the dog to pee on a rug and chew on a table and not insist on replacing them.

If this person has shown up with an uninvited dog previously, if I were you, I think I'd call and ask them if they plan to bring their dog again.

If they do, I'd insist that they bring the kennel and be prepared to keep the dog in the kennel when the dog is unsupervised.





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liasmommy2000
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Posted: 12/20/2013 4:14:59 AM
Yes, if it hasn't already been discussed or you know with 100% certainty that they don't care, then yes, very rude.


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cm_stephenson
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Posted: 12/20/2013 4:39:09 AM
Ask them to bring the crate - reminding then that puppy will feel safe in it's own little den when there are so many unknown people around. Puppies can only socialise for short periods before they need to rest

That way you turn it round to considering the pup's welfare rather than focusing on your home - you care about your home but clearly that is not a priority to the pup's owner,

Cathy


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theshyone
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Posted: 12/20/2013 4:50:02 AM
Yes,


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giatocj
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Posted: 12/20/2013 5:16:09 AM
Yes.

Mopea57
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Posted: 12/20/2013 5:19:43 AM


Do you risk offending an immature family member by requesting they ask permission to bring the dog? Which may result in family member retaliating by not coming to visit as a result?


If it was my family, absolutely. But -- is this a member of your soon-to-be-inlaw family? A little trickier if so. I'd have my fiance handle it in that case.

*theCakeGirl*
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Posted: 12/20/2013 6:41:40 AM
ABSOLUTEY!! But considering my allergies they would know better!


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anniebygaslight
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Posted: 12/20/2013 6:57:07 AM
Yes.


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merrick
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Posted: 12/20/2013 6:59:50 AM
yes. my old neighbour used to say "anywhere my dog isn't welcome, i am not welcome".

kimberly38
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Posted: 12/20/2013 7:14:10 AM
Yes, I consider it rude to take your pet to someone's home without asking if it is okay first.

I have three dogs and two cats and I would never, ever think to take any of them to someone else's home in the first place and if I did, for whatever reason, I would ask if it was ok to do so.

AKathy
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Posted: 12/20/2013 7:40:32 AM
Yes it's rude. I bring my dog to either of my DD's houses unannounced but they pretty much expect it and she is housebroken. I would never bring her to anyone else's house without prior arrangements. The only time I did that was when I declined an invitation from a friend because it was too long to leave my dog home alone. My friend insisted I bring the dog so I did but I kept her on a leash the entire time.


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KRC11
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Posted: 12/20/2013 7:44:18 AM
Yes. That happened to me at Thanksgiving. Only they did "tell" me that the dogs were coming. It's even ruder to bring unhousebroken dogs to other people's house.

KRC11
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Posted: 12/20/2013 7:49:37 AM
I just saw your later post. Had to laugh because my comment was my experience (the pups at Thanksgiving left us surprises upstairs). I think I'd be tempted to send a bill for rug cleaning and furniture repair. If the dogs are at my SIL (her grandpups) for Xmas, I will be saying something about the surprises left in my house to her daughter/the owner. It's extremely rude to bring a dog w/o asking, especially if it's untrained. If it is untrained, then you better have that dog in your arms 100% of the time so you can take it outside when needed or it pees on you.

And I love dogs. Just not rude owners who don't take care of their pets.

lostinspace
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Posted: 12/20/2013 8:43:00 AM

Do you risk offending an immature family member by requesting they ask permission to bring the dog? Which may result in family member retaliating by not coming to visit as a result?


How are you offending the family member by saying No? It is your home.
I would state when inviting them that your home is not pet friendly and that you were caught off guard the last time that they came to visit and brought their pet and this pet caused damage.

Retaliation is that they don't come to visit, is in my opinion that they value their pet more than you. A pet can be left at home for a period of time. What do they do when they go to work?

I would not get worked up about it at all.

Your home, your rules.


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fredfreddy
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Posted: 12/20/2013 8:48:11 AM
Hell yes. They would be blocked at the front door. No pets in my house. I'd be pointing to our backyard, or back to their own home.


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Oliquig
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Posted: 12/20/2013 8:51:39 AM
I would never bring my dog anywhere without asking first. That is just so rude.


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FarmDPea
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:04:29 AM
Very rude.

I love my animals....love almost all animals (Heck, I'm peaing from the couch...wedged between a Great Dane and a cat!), and I would still be irritated if someone showed up with an unannounced pet. We have a set up that works for us. The added stress of an animal that may or may not get along with mine would probably send me over the edge if I were hosting!

Given the history here, I think you need to address it beforehand.



LollaPEAlooza
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:33:19 AM
Yes, it is very rude. In fact, I even think it is rude to ask, because it puts your host in the uncomfortable position of denying your request. Why can't people just come and leave the pet home or boarded...your pet is not the center of my life. Sorry.

ScrapsontheRocks
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:39:18 AM
Rude, for sure. I am a huge dog lover, but this dog has a problem owner.

Even with a perfectly behaved pup, to impose it on someone else in their home is rude, rude, rude.

auntkelly
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:51:31 AM

Yes, bad manners to bring without asking, even if the home owner has dogs of their own. Even if I didn't mind the dog coming, I would expect to be asked first.



I agree 100%. It's one thing to have your own dog get sick and throw up on your rug and quite another for someone else's dog to get sick and throw up on your rug. (Can you guess what happened at my house at Thanksgiving?)



Ginny

SweetieBugs
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:51:44 AM
How about the family member that continually brings their 2-3 dogs for every visit when you have made it clear year after year that you don't want the dogs in the house (the yard is okay as a last resort but they chewed up her water sprinkling system 3 times, ate rocks till they were sick and dug a hole as big as a grave so it is still a pretty risky idea).

Last visit the dogs rushed in the house after my DD opened the door and we had to round them up and put them in the car.

It is very frustrating that they feel they can wear us down and we will just capitulate. Because they love their dogs, everyone should. Our house is just not set up for pets.

Leone
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:54:59 AM
They should not even ask as you may feel compelled to say yes. It is a disaster when we have had people bring their dogs.

FarmDPea
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:55:43 AM

Why can't people just come and leave the pet home or boarded...your pet is not the center of my life. Sorry.


Boarding/leaving at home is not always an option. I don't board my pets...never ever. I may in the future, but I'm not satisfied with the options where I live. My (rescue) dog was left to starve in a boarding facility (not in my area, for the record). She had to have an emergency surgery earlier this year, and it broke my heart to see her in a cage when I went to pick her up. She was terrified. I would never do that to her intentionally. Does that limit my travel options? Of coarse, but there are some friends who I would ask to accommodate her under certain circumstances.

That's clearly not the case for the OP, but I just thought that I would answer your question. I would modify your statement for myself...."your kid is not the center of my life. Sorry." I would rather have somebody's well-behaved dog than somebody's obnoxious kid. That's a whole other thread, though.



azredhead34
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:02:11 AM
I would not bring my dogs unless it was family that already knew me and my dogs and even then I wouldn't be comfortable and I have good dogs and most people know them. Never would I even think of just bringing them.




mikklynn
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:06:42 AM
Absolutely tell them to bring the kennel for the puppy.

Everyone in my family knows we are not dog people. They all respect it, except for SIL. She brought her dog ONCE. I pushed him back outside at the door and told her she'd have to tie him up in the yard. She stayed briefly, then left. It never happened again.



Lynn



LollaPEAlooza
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:14:49 AM

."your kid is not the center of my life. Sorry."


Just for the record, I would never have dreamed of bringing my children anywhere unless they were specifically invited, and I would never expect anyone else to consider them the center of their life. Like some people do their dogs.

melanell
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:35:53 AM
Yes, I consider it rude.



squaek
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:56:45 AM
Yes, I do consider it rude. I like animals but don't currently have any because my 9yo is scared to death of dogs and my 6yo has asthma and is very allergic to cats. I would have to ask the person to leave the pet in the car or take it home. While I would feel bad about the inconvenience, it is on them for not discussing the arrangements prior and just assuming it would be acceptable. I don't take my kids to events where they aren't specifically invited either.

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