WWYD? Christmas at home or at In Laws? UPDATE in op - Second update in OP

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Posted 12/20/2013 by clee321 in NSBR Board
 

clee321
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:48:02 AM
We just moved so we don't know anyone here in our new place, yet. DH is off work tomorrow through next Sunday. Before we knew that we were going to be here and just have a few days together as the family. 2.5 weeks ago we found out about his time off (the plant is shutting down for the week) so we decided to head to Albuquerque to celebrate with his family.

This should be fun. Great food. Hubby loves his family.

Most of the time will be at DH's Grandpa's house. He is a smoker and he smokes in the house (it is his house).

one week ago I went to Urgent Care due to a terrible cough, sore throat and sinus issues. Sent home with rest instructions, antibiotic, a few cough things and have been a bit on the miserable side since. As of today my throat doesn't hurt but my lungs are still burning and I have the cough. My sinus feel like they are getting much better.

This past Sunday the kids and DH went to Urgent Care. Kids are diagnosed with a virus and told to rest and drink water. DH is diagnosed with a sinus infection and given zpack and told to use Musinex.

Kids fevers have been below 100 for 2 days now. They both have coughs and have been saying their tummies hurt off and on since Monday.

DH is feeling much better. He is a little tired but the meds seem to have kicked his infection out.

I am still tired and have body aches and the cough.

We are supposed to start the drive tomorrow (16-17 hours driving each way). I really don't want to go but DH has his heart set on it.

Dh feels we are on the "rest" end of things and that we should head over to ABQ. We have no one to hang out with here and he feels that achy here or achy there at least we would be with family.

I just see the work of 2 kids in a new to them place. Me not feeling well so if I need to rest I am now the party pooper. a 2 day drive each way and well, I just want to stay home.

would you stay or go? If go, any ideas as to how to make it more manageable?

UPDATE -

Ok took some of the Peas advice and have delayed the trip till tomorrow.

We will be staying at an Uncle/Aunts house but most of the activities are still held at Grandpas. DH has let everyone know we have been ill and that he and I have been on Antibiotics.

A round of Albuterol last night has been near miraculous for me. I am still achy and not at all 100% but am not coughing like I have been the past 7 days. For me tomorrow will be day 11 of this craziness.

I talked to DH about him flying in on Monday and returning to us on Friday. He isn't thrilled with the idea and his parents aren't happy at all about the kids not being there. So, we are getting ready to leave today and the drive begins tomorrow.

I have been trying to get the holidays together turned into an event in summer so weather won't be a concern for the family coming in from TX, AZ and us in the future. ILs aren't too excited about it but all the Grandchildren (we are grown) are very into the idea. This is more of an aside instead of anything to do with this years trip.

Thank you for the opinions. It helped to read them. I am still not excited about the trip, but here we go!!!


SECOND UPDATE

We went. Just got back last night. Wow! 17-ish hours is a very long time!

The smoke was not a great experience. It was heartbreaking to realize that a personal choice, such as smoking, is so alienating.

I am glad we went. I am glad it is over. I am not sure I will ever do it again.

I really appreciate the words shared and they helped me form my thoughts and put them into words to share concerns and thoughts.

DH was AMAZING and did all he could to let me rest and get the kids where they needed to be and when he had to stand up to his family he did without being prodded to do so.




jeremysgirl
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:53:49 AM
I would probably stay home another day or two and rest up some more before heading out.

nicolequinn
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Posted: 12/20/2013 9:58:17 AM
I can see how you wouldn't feel like going!
You guys were hit hard!!

But hopefully you're on the tail end of it. I'm sure it will be a lot of work getting things packed and ready, but once you get going and get there, I'll be you'll be glad you did.




backtoscrap
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:00:39 AM
I'd go.

recap.pea
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:03:43 AM
I would go but wouldn't leave tomorrow - I would wait one more day so you can have a little more rest/recovery then drive there Sunday.

Your DH has his heart set on it and I know that once you are all there, you will be glad you decided to go.

[Michele]

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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:03:56 AM
Well, you lost me at 17 hour drive.

But seriously, we had a Christmas in 2000 that involved 5 different get togethers in a 48 hour period - with a toddler and baby. We moved back to Ohio the next year and ever since our Christmases have been just us.

What I find draining and miserable, others find necessary and fulfilling.

If you need your holidays to be spent with family I would go ahead and go.


________________________________________________
"We can, if we're careful, find our own junk code, and reprogram ourselves to be different, better people." Patrick Rothfuss

omarakbt
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:04:11 AM
I'd go, nothing more precious than family memories.


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justbecause
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:06:10 AM
See if he'd agree to waiting one more day. Leaving on Sunday will still get you there before Christmas Eve and you'd get one more day of rest.



hop2
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:08:32 AM
While I'd probablyGo I would wait a day to recuperate a bit more and or maybe split the drive up a bit with a stop overnite along the way to rest.

But I like my family and drama is minimal. DH's family has a higher drama factor I would still go but definitely would delay a day.

Whatever you decide have a wonderful holiday!

mikklynn
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:11:35 AM
I agree, wait a day and see if you all feel better.

Would Grandpa agree not to smoke while you are there? I went through a Christmas with a sinus infection and smokers in my parents house. It was awful.


Lynn



Lilyloams
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:57:38 AM
Honestly I would NOT go because I would not want to expose any elderly grandpas to the virus/germs.

shirt
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Posted: 12/20/2013 11:04:44 AM
I agree with the other posters that say wait another day to rest up.


- Renee

scrapea girl
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Posted: 12/20/2013 11:09:11 AM
I would stay home and would appreciate if I other sick people did as well.

Canadian Girl 77
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 12/20/2013 11:10:35 AM
I wouldn't go. I'd rather not prolong an illness or risk spreading it. However, that is our family rule. MIL and FIL were not around for Christmas because of a bug last year.



Crack-a-lackin
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Posted: 12/20/2013 11:14:30 AM
I wouldn't go. Based on others I've known with a similar illness recently they have had a long recovery time. You might be on the mend but I wouldn't want to risk spreading germs. Plus, it's miserable being in the car for that long when you're well...I can't imagine doing it while everyone is that sick.


{ "I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious." Michael Scott }

Kristalina
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Posted: 12/20/2013 11:24:01 AM
If you are all past the contageous point and your dh feels like he can do most of the driving, I'd probably still go.

That drive is terrifying though! 17 freaking hours?? He has 8 days off and he'll be driving 4 of them. yikes!

Pros
fun
happy dh

Cons
17 hour drive
might infect elders
17 hour drive
smoke might hamper recovery
17 hour drive
some family members still might feel lousy
17 hour drive


******************************************************************
XOXO, Kristi ~
When you see crazy coming, cross the street!

anniebygaslight
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Posted: 12/20/2013 11:41:34 AM
A seventeen hour drive is a heck of an undertaking if you are not well. I'd bail out I think. Hope you soon feel better, whatever you decide.


There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea. ~Bernard-Paul Heroux

Oliquig
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Posted: 12/20/2013 11:44:07 AM
I would push back the trip until Sunday.


-Rachel

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peamac
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:28:51 PM
Personally, I don't see how it could be good for you to go, knowing you'll be in a smoker's house. Even if he doesn't smoke inside while you are there, the lingering smoke/smell around the house would not be helpful in your recovery. My DH can be greatly affected by being around smokers, and to do so while recovering from any type of cold or sinus issue would make things very difficult for him- breathing, coughing, etc.

You could also spread your illness to Grandpa and others while you are there.



PeaMac


Mallie
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:33:04 PM
My coworker has been sick with a respiratory infection and her doctor told her that she had to move in with someone else for the duration since her husband smokes.

So I cannot imagine how being surrounded by smoke and in a smoker's home is going to facilitate recovery from a respiratory infection.

BoSoxBeth
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Posted: 12/20/2013 1:57:37 PM
I would not go. I would cancel. Hope everyone feels better soon.

OzAngel
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Posted: 12/20/2013 2:08:47 PM

he feels that achy here or achy there at least we would be with family.
Yes, I agree with that - if it was just a case of being 'acky'. But it's more than that.

Your kids have sore tummies and coughs, you have a cough and irritated lungs. And your DH wants you to drive for 17 hours in winter weather, then stay for 4-5 days in a smokers house?

I'd try to talk him out of it but if you do go, at least stop overnight at the half way point to break up the trip, that will make it a bit easier on you and the kids. Or leave a day later in the hope that you'll all be feeling a bit better.

And I'd be telling DH that he will be the one tending to the kids so you can rest. If he's dragging you all over the countryside when you're sick, he can do the work so you can take things easy. Plus I'd be telling everyone else that you haven't been well and will need rest breaks. Hopefully they'll understand and not give you a hard time about it.

But I'd draw the line at staying at grandpa's house and exposing myself and my kids to all that passive smoke. Can you stay with other rels if he won't smoke outside?

I know you're not really looking forward to it, but I hope things go well and that you end up having a happy time. Merry Christmas to your family and have a safe trip.


* ANGEL *

peaing from down under

irishscrappermom8
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Posted: 12/20/2013 3:03:26 PM
Nope.
First you still aren't feeling great. Being on the road for that long isn't going to help.
Staying with a relative that smokes is not going to help anyone's sinuses and breathing.
16-17 hours each way on a good day I would have to seriously consider. I just did it a few weeks ago going to Disney and it was rough - and my kids are almost adults!
Remember all the threads one here about families wishing other family members would stay home if they were sick? You family is probably going to feel like they HAVE to visit since you have come from so far away, but when they know you're sick, they won't be happy.





PEArfect
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Posted: 12/20/2013 3:11:16 PM
A 16-17 hour drive would be a daunting task for a healthy family. No, I wouldn't go. Maybe you can Skype with them some during the festivities?


Jen


AKathy
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Posted: 12/20/2013 3:44:43 PM
I'd go but stay in a hotel. That way you're not around the smoke and you'll have a place to go and rest when you need to. If that's not possible I'd stay home.


***************************************


Mother Goose's Meandering Mind



NO_Mom
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Posted: 12/20/2013 4:03:58 PM
Stay Home and rest.

cycworker
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Posted: 12/20/2013 4:24:41 PM
Go. It's Christmas. Your dh has his heart set on it. You need to be with family. You'll be fine.


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HannahRuth
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Posted: 12/21/2013 9:06:05 AM

I would stay home, and use the break to recover and rest so that when the holidays were over you are all feeling better and ready for work/school/whatever.

I would not be taking any sort of infection/cough/illness hours and hours away especially to my grandfather's home.

Stay home and rest I say.

Eddie-n-Harley
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Posted: 12/21/2013 9:41:02 AM
I would have said no to a 17 hour drive from the start.

But at this point, I'd send DH on his merry way and go back to bed.

"Cranky achy kids here or cranky achy kids there, I'd rather have them here so I can put them in their own beds. Have fun without us."




~Emily/Eddie-n-Harley

Miss Ang
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Posted: 12/21/2013 9:46:06 AM

Most of the time will be at DH's Grandpa's house. He is a smoker and he smokes in the house (it is his house).
This would have kept me from making plans to go in the first place.

But since that didn't stop you I don't think a virus should either. IMO, you made plans to go and you should go. Now, if you were so sick that you were in excruciating pain I would feel differently. But just feeling yucky isn't a good enough reason not to.

I'm assuming that at some point during the planning you were looking forward to the trip or you wouldn't have agreed to it then, right? Try to focus on that part.


-Angela

clee321
It is always easier to edit than it is to create

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Posted: 12/21/2013 10:43:00 AM
Ok took some of the Peas advice and have delayed the trip till tomorrow.

We will be staying at an Uncle/Aunts house but most of the activities are still held at Grandpas. DH has let everyone know we have been ill and that he and I have been on Antibiotics.

A round of Albuterol last night has been near miraculous for me. I am still achy and not at all 100% but am not coughing like I have been the past 7 days. For me tomorrow will be day 11 of this craziness.

I talked to DH about him flying in on Monday and returning to us on Friday. He isn't thrilled with the idea and his parents aren't happy at all about the kids not being there. So, we are getting ready to leave today and the drive begins tomorrow.

I have been trying to get the holidays together turned into an event in summer so weather won't be a concern for the family coming in from TX, AZ and us in the future. ILs aren't too excited about it but all the Grandchildren (we are grown) are very into the idea. This is more of an aside instead of anything to do with this years trip.

Thank you for the opinions. It helped to read them. I am still not excited about the trip, but here we go!!!



Boymum
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Posted: 12/21/2013 12:53:27 PM
"I wouldn't go. I'd rather not prolong an illness or risk spreading it. "

That...


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clee321
It is always easier to edit than it is to create

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Posted: 12/29/2013 1:32:19 PM
SECOND UPDATE

We went. Just got back last night. Wow! 17-ish hours is a very long time!

The smoke was not a great experience. It was heartbreaking to realize that a personal choice, such as smoking, is so alienating.

I am glad we went. I am glad it is over. I am not sure I will ever do it again.

I really appreciate the words shared and they helped me form my thoughts and put them into words to share concerns and thoughts.

DH was AMAZING and did all he could to let me rest and get the kids where they needed to be and when he had to stand up to his family he did without being prodded to do so.



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