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Current Thread:

After party Etiquette
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 2/4/2013 by rikkatikacrafts in NSBR Board
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rikkatikacrafts
PeaNut

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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:39:16 PM
Hello Peas! This is my first post over here, I do lurk a lot and you all have a wide variety of knowledge/ideas. Here is my situation, my husband and I hosted a party for the superbowl last night. We live in a culdesac and all the guests that came live in the culdesac as well. It was a potluck style party so everyone brought a ton of dishes, crockpots etc....
as you know, the game ended pretty late and people just wanted to get home.
So everyone left thier dishes and crockpots here at my house. My question is..... am i supposed to clean all those casserole dishes and crockpots? There are about 6 crockpots and many, trays and other assorted dishes that people brought over.

What say the peas??

Kelpea
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:41:04 PM
dang, that's a toughie.

I kinda wish you had placed them in the hands of each attendee as they were leaving last night, with food still in them.

Now I think you're stuck washing them, lol.

Welcome to the board!



scrapbookjulie
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:41:51 PM
Unfortunately, yes...I think you're stuck cleaning them before you return them.

naniwebbEMT
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:42:35 PM
It strikes me as rude that they all left their stuff. If they didn't come back for it today, I'd probably clean it so it isn't stinking up my house. I'd be annoyed though. Are you supposed to deliver their stuff back to them? What was said when they left their stuff?


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lilinme
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:43:39 PM
I think you're stuck washing them all up. I also think it would have been a good idea to have everyone take their crockpots/dishes as they were exiting. I feel your pain....I too had a superbowl party last night and have a sink full of dishes waiting for me when I get out of work.

Creativegirl
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:45:17 PM
I would wash them because I would feel strange giving someone a dirty dish a day after the party- plus, I would not want a bunch of dirty dishes sitting around in my kitchen over night.

I hate washing crockpots though, so I feel for you on washing six of them! Ugh!


Anna




KittenOnTheKeys
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:47:58 PM
In our circle, we wash them



cannes
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:48:04 PM
My BFF makes everyone take their stuff with them when they leave for that very reason. She refuses to be stick cleaning everyone's dishes. She even says on the Evite that you must take your dishes when you leave!

I think you're stuck this time, but lesson learned for next time. I'm sorry!


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rikkatikacrafts
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:49:50 PM
You guys are right! Ughhh. I am kicking myself. They are lined up on my countertop as we speak. Guess I will get to scrubbing! I should have mentioned that hubby was the one who let everyone out the door. I snuck off after the game to hop in the shower. Sigh*
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bbkieffer
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:50:56 PM
You wash them and give them back at your convenience. Hopefully some will stop by to pick them up. Thank them for contributing to the party!


~Brenda K~

recap.pea
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:53:32 PM
What a pain but if it were me, I'd clean them and if I knew who they belong to, return them.

*2GirlsMama*
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:55:14 PM
I think leaving your yucky dirty crock pot for someone else to wash is rude.

I swear I would be tempted to set up a table in the driveway with everyone's still dirty dishes lined up on it. I wouldn't actually do it, but I would want to really bad.




Lisa

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Tango1*
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:55:39 PM
I would wash them because I can't imagine handing someone back a dirty dish unless it was the very next day when I might not have had time to wash it yet. But by 2 days later, I think it would look weird if you didn't wash it. I actually had a friend give me a platter to return to my neighbor. My neighbor had brought over to her house for a party. It was still dirty a week later so I washed it, even though it wasn't my platter or even my party, but I still felt embarrassed to hand her a dirty platter.

JustCallMeMommy
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:58:11 PM

I think you should bring them each a plate of cookies on a real plate when you return their dishes. Then, they will have to wash your plate and return it.


-Jennifer


Kelpea
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Posted: 2/4/2013 3:59:05 PM
A quick aside; our neighbors had a wild and wooly summer labor day bash. It lasted from early afternoon until about 3 am for some attendees, including the husband host.

She was so mad that people stayed so late she LEFT ALL THE FOOD AND DISHES OUT ON THE TABLES IN THE BACKYARD until the neighbors came to get them all!

Lesson: put an "end" time on your invite.



GrinningCat
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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:05:19 PM
In our circle it's not should I wash the dishes people brought, it's a given. If someone brings a dish, we all wash it before taking it home. Seems rude (and messy) not to.

scrap4maddie
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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:24:22 PM
They should have taken their dishes home with them but now you have to wash them.


~Erica~







myshelly
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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:32:04 PM
I think it was rude/weird of you to duck out to take a shower.

If I had been a guest I would have taken my dish with me when I left.

Since your guests did not, you definitely need to wash them.




Peabay
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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:36:01 PM
Rude of them to leave them but yes, you have to wash them.



scrappin jen
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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:40:19 PM
Honestly, I am in the rude you left your own party with guests still in your home to take a shower? Were you *that* dirty? And yes of course you need to return them clean. They contributed food to your party so you return the kindness.

mytwoandras
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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:49:26 PM
If I had a party where people brought food I would try to send their leftovers home with them. If they leave the food for you to eat then I think it is your responsibility to clean the dishes.

Is it possible that they asked if they should take the leftovers and your husband said he wasn't sure? That is what my husband would do. He wouldn't be thinking about the work of cleaning up the mess or the dishes. He just sucks at making decisions.

I would wash the dishes before returning them.


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sues
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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:52:12 PM
OK- if I had a party and people brought food...I would wash their container/dish before they left and hand it to them as they walked out the door. If they didn't want to wait or couldn't wait- I'd wash it out and have it waiting for them to pick up at their earliest convenience.

There is no scenario that would have me handing back an unwashed dish.

If I took food to a party and received my dish/container back unwashed- I'd be horrified and disgusted. It would be unlikely you'd get me to another party...and if so, I'd bring something straight from the grocery store.

Having a party means a certain amount of clean up. That's just the way it is. If you're lucky, someone helps you clean up at the end...but if not- it's your party, your mess.

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Posted: 2/4/2013 4:58:14 PM

I didn't see my answer until I got to the end and sues said what I would say. I would have washed their dish and handed it back to them clean as they were leaving. I think that's only right if they were kind enough to contribute food to the party to begin with.








SDeven
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:02:16 PM
That must have been some crazy party...that a person couldn't be bothered to pick up a crock pot afterward.

I don't think I know what I would do in that situation ...so weird.






megmc
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:07:29 PM
This is a invite and learn.
Hopefully somebody will come over and help you.

BTW it was very rude of those people not to clean up when before they left. or at least take their stuff.


When I have people over and they bring food, their food goes into/onto my dish, quick wash of their dish,into a bag it goes.




Enough
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:09:40 PM

Having a party means a certain amount of clean up. That's just the way it is. If you're lucky, someone helps you clean up at the end...but if not- it's your party, your mess.
Sues said it perfectly.



nicolequinn
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:10:54 PM
I can't imagine leaving my neighbor/friend/host with a kitchen full of dirty dishes... no matter what time the party ended. Rude!

But yes, I'd be washing them.



meshelley
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:14:36 PM
I wouldn't want to do it either - cleaning 6 crockpots is a lot of work! But, unfortuantly, I think you have too. It's the most polite and least gross thing to do.

I agree with those that said it was rude for people to leave behind their dirty dishes, but I think since you had already went to take a shower they felt as if they had overstayed their welcome and needed to get out of there ASAP. I get it - the game was delayed, it ended late, today was a work day and you felt like you needed to get ready for the week ahead. But, it probably contributed to this situation. Plus, since DH was the one saying goodbye to people, he probably never thought about the mess in the kitchen and that he needed to remind people to take dishes. That's not something that would have been on his radar. In the future, probably best to stick it out a little longer and make sure your guests feel comfortable and dishes get where they need to go.

*2GirlsMama*
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:21:06 PM
I imagine that if THAT MANY people left dishes and crockpots she wasn't "hosting" the party -- she was providing the venue. Big difference.




Lisa

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scrappin jen
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:28:07 PM
Nope- I re-read her post and her 3rd sentence says-

Here is my situation, my husband and I hosted a party for the superbowl last night.

She wasn't the venue- she was the hostess, it was a pot luck type of party she went on to say.

megmc
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:30:40 PM
Nightowl....because the dish doesn't have the chance to get CRUSTY! and hard to wash.

angievp
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:31:32 PM
It honestly would never occur to me to send someone a dirty dish. I think that since you hosted this event, you get to pick up the mess. Shrug.

pennyring
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:39:09 PM
I've never ever heard of washing someone's dish. Usually, there are leftovers in it.



cannes
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Posted: 2/4/2013 5:44:29 PM
For the crock pots, put water and dish soap in them and turn them on and let the soapy water cook for a while. It'll take the crusty stuff off and all you should have to do is wipe them down and rinse.


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Posted: 2/4/2013 6:14:30 PM
I'd wash them. A big clean job up is usually par for the course when hosting a party, IMO. Also, I am anal about cleaning, so it would bother me to have a bunch of dirty dishes and crockpots laying around.

I have also never given a dirty dish back, nor has anyone ever returned a dirty dish to me.
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Posted: 2/4/2013 6:24:32 PM
Yes, since you were hosting the event, you get the clean up. But, at least they all provided dishes and you didn't have to pay for all the food


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SDeven
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Posted: 2/4/2013 6:43:19 PM

Maybe you'd stay with your guests and wish them farewell as they leave so you could hand them their things instead of heading off to the shower and letting your husband say goodbye alone.


That's just it. I've hosted my share of potluck dinners and my guests have always felt free to rinse out their own dish if it was empty before traveling home with it or if there's food left in it, cover it appropriately and take it home.

And when I have attended potlucks hosted by others I have done the same.

And no, I would never abandon guests for a shower unless they were staying overnight.

I'm thinking the husband had something to do with this snafu. He didn't know what belonged to whom and he was ready for the guests to leave so he poped off and said something to the effect of "why don't ya just leave it, let wife clean them all up and she'll get them back to you?"






Nantini
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Posted: 2/4/2013 6:45:53 PM
They're not gifts?

Miss Lerins Momma
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Posted: 2/4/2013 7:06:55 PM
I'd clean them all. And hope that I could get all of them back to the correct owners!

I would NOT give them back dirty dishes!!








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TinCin
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Posted: 2/4/2013 7:15:19 PM
Because I know the rules:


Hello Peas! This is my first post over here, I do lurk a lot and you all have a wide variety of knowledge/ideas. Here is my situation, my husband and I hosted a party for the superbowl last night. We live in a culdesac and all the guests that came live in the culdesac as well. It was a potluck style party so everyone brought a ton of dishes, crockpots etc....
as you know, the game ended pretty late and people just wanted to get home.
So everyone left thier dishes and crockpots here at my house. My question is..... am i supposed to clean all those casserole dishes and crockpots? There are about 6 crockpots and many, trays and other assorted dishes that people brought over.

What say the peas??




I snuck off after the game to hop in the shower.

Really? You went off to take a shower while your guests were still there and saying goodbye. Sorry, I find that odd.


That.


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CnBsmommy
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Posted: 2/4/2013 7:38:40 PM
we wash the dishes & hand them back clean as people are leaving.

Miss Ang
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Posted: 2/4/2013 8:18:25 PM
It would never occur to me to leave my crock pot at the house of a friend after a party. So weird that they ALL did that(?)

If someone DID leave their dish accidentally, it would never occur to me to return it dirty.

And I think the most important thing here is, if I had guests over for a Superbowl party, it would never occur to me to get into the shower before everyone left. I'm sorry, I think *that* is the oddest thing in this entire scenario.


-Angela

SharlaG
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Posted: 2/5/2013 8:03:06 AM

For the crock pots, put water and dish soap in them and turn them on and let the soapy water cook for a while. It'll take the crusty stuff off and all you should have to do is wipe them down and rinse.
Never thought of this! I hate wrestling with a crock pot to get all of the crusty ring scrubbed off.







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cannes
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Posted: 2/5/2013 8:17:07 AM

Never thought of this! I hate wrestling with a crock pot to get all of the crusty ring scrubbed off.


Me, too! I rarely used my crock pot because I hated cleaning it with a passion. I mentioned it once to a friend who uses hers all the time and she told me her trick. So much easier!


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peasful1
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Posted: 2/5/2013 8:42:54 AM

I've never ever heard of washing someone's dish. Usually, there are leftovers in it.


You have never, ever heard of washing another person's dish. Ever? LMAO Then your friends aren't bringing the right kinds of food.

I brought a huge slowcooker to a party Sunday and it was empty within the hour. The hostess did not clean it up for me, but she was kind of frazzled. I do try to clean my guests' dishes before they leave and I usually have friends who help me clean up.


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MrsScrapDiva
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Posted: 2/5/2013 12:50:48 PM
I wash them and then I keep them all. You should see the collection I have!

Just Kidding!

In the past I washed them all and then just gave them back when I saw that person. It's kinda a pain but something you just gotta do!

Hi-D
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Posted: 2/5/2013 1:20:20 PM
You invite them over for leftovers the next night and send they away with their nasty pots.

happytobemom
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Posted: 2/5/2013 1:20:45 PM
How it plays out at my house...

Don't the crock pots usually stay plugged in keeping food warm for the whole evening? People tend keep nibbling the whole evening.

If I would have been the guest, I would have found my crockpot and lid, unplugged it, and said my "thank you's" and been out the door.

If all those crock pots had been left, then yes, I would have cleaned them before returning them.

I never leave my crock pot as I have lost several that way.

And for the record (I know there have been threads about this before) If I take a dish to a pot luck, I ask the hostess "do you want any of these leftovers?" I have never had anyone take me up on it----they want them out of their refrigerator and house. I find my lid, take my dish, an say my "thank you's and goodbyes". And it is usually dirty.

Pennys mum
BucketHead

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Posted: 2/5/2013 1:36:19 PM
WOW! I can't believe that someone would even ask such a thing!
Common sense alone would tell you to wash the dirty dishes!

I know it is a pain, but that it just the way it goes.


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Barbara C
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Posted: 2/5/2013 1:43:48 PM
I would wash any dishes left at my house.

That being said, if I left a dish at someone's house, it's because I do not expect it to be returned. I never leave a party without my dish/plate/pot etc if I want to keep it.
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