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Member Since June 2006, 27 forum posts, 14 public projects

Location: Illinois

PeaNut Number: 

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Scrapping through hard times?

I scrap in a haphazard way.  Pretty much what I feel like scrapping at any given time.  Lately the scrapping has been focused on the last 2 years, the time since my niece was born.  Scrapping photos of babies is fun.  There are a lot of cute photos.  A lot of photos are taken of them at every event.  There are cute embellishments and papers.  Looking at the photos of the kids makes me smile. 

The problem I am having lately is that my mom is really sick.  September of 2008 she was diagnosed with CNS Lymphoma.  Basically she has brain cancer.  With her type of cancer there is not just the actual problem of the cancer to deal with, but also, the problems involved with having her brain damaged.  Brain damaged from the original tumors, from the brain surgery, from the radiation, from the chemo.  Mom can no longer walk.  Mom's memory is all over the place.  She always recognizes people (thank god!), but as to the time or year or current events, her mind bounces around.  She's currently hospitalized from a severe seizure she had and her mind really has taken a huge downturn over the last couple of weeks.

The problem is, I am having a hard time trying to scrap pictures of my mom.  Pictures of her healthy or sick.  Pictures of her before she got sick bring out so many strong emotions.  Pictures of her before she was finally dianosed.  Pictures of her sick.  I feel like I am leaving out a large part of my stories/my life because I can not bring myself to scrap her.  Part of it is just that it brings such a huge sense of grief, I feel like I am treating her in my scrap book as if she has already passed away. I cannot seem to find a balance a way to scrap the grief while still celebrating her life.   Because her life may not be the best right now, but she is still alive and that is an amazing thing.   Maybe I am just not really ready for this.  I do not know.

I didn't explain this to complain or to seek symphathy.  I think I just needed to get this off my chest.

8/31/2009 8:42:16 PM | Comments (0) | Send a Message (PeaMail) | Vote for this Blog Post

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I registered for this website way back in 2006 when I had taken up the hobby of scrapbooking for the first time.  At that time, I used the site mainly just for browsing for ideas.  I think I may have shopped on the site as well.  I've finally come back to 2 peas and have decided to join the community and start posting LOs and maybe blog as well.

I still need to get used to how everything works and what the 2 pea ettiquette is. 

8/24/2009 11:01:47 PM | Comments (1) | Send a Message (PeaMail) | Vote for this Blog Post

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